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Young Writers Society


16+ Language

The Many Gifts of Malia--Part 83: "The Arrival"

by dragonfphoenix


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

Rain blanketed the mountains of Tingid.

We stepped through the portal and scurried into the safety of the trees, Malia whisking a treated cloak over Hasda’s shoulders before pulling the Veil over ours. As important as this confrontation was, in the end it’d been decided that only Seppo would accompany us into the region, but approaching separately from the west. With Kydon already here on the Carthians’ behalf, we couldn’t risk moving too much of our pantheon until things had devolved into war proper.

Of the Seated, Synnefo might join us later, and hopefully sooner, given the cheery weather we were experiencing. There was a pressure in my sinuses that wasn’t entirely from the air pressure, though, a portent of either the Sea Mother’s imminent arrival or the influence of the Paeden weather god. Thane would need less time to heal than Malia, but Seppo judged his presence more needed in Aenea than Tingid, so he would travel south with Azoria once he was back in fighting shape to help Resef and Vrixia. Tarrha, never one to dirty her hands in politics, was off fornicating with whatever lover or concubine she’d conscripted this time, and Ulti had likely galavanted off beyond the mountains with the clouds relieving them of their sunshine duty. We would only bring the other Unseated major and rising minor gods into the fray if things got really messy.

Against the full might of an eldritch goddess, though, we might not survive long enough to summon them. But Tamiyat, despite how powerful she was, had yet to reclaim that level of strength. And if the Paedens were open to diplomacy, we could perhaps avert such a crisis entirely. That had been the running hope, and even if we found the Paedens fully arrayed against us, it was a hope we still had to cling to.

Bleating goats caught my attention. When I glanced at Malia, her frown melted into a grin like the sun breaking through these accursed rainclouds.

“Maybe we can share the wealth a little,” she said, eyes glinting.

Brows lifted, I tilted my head at her. “How so?”

“We’ve used the beasts in jest enough. For once, they could be used in earnest.” Her wings twitched at the rain that slipped through the foliage.

The thought of a herd of goats, clattering with swords or pans as they charged through the night at the Paedens, brought a smile to my lips. “Perhaps they could.”

“The tiger is still here, right?” Hasda’s step squelched in a pile of leaves.

I nodded. “It remained in the region as the guardian of the miners.”

“I can’t sense it.”

Malia and I shared a look. Her smile reassuring, she slid to his left, positioning him between us. “I’m sure it’s fine. Divine beasts are strong and resilient things. It’s probably hiding deep in the mines.”

He shook his head. “I could still sense it then. But I can’t feel anything.”

I frowned. In addition to being able to communicate with any animal, Beast Whisperers could often sense the aura of divine beasts. This let them sense the creature’s mood, health, and any injuries, which was especially helpful with the less communicative divine beasts. The Kydonian tiger had allowed itself to be associated with Jade, sharing Tingid with her, and the fact that both the tiger and the goddess were missing was a bad sign.

“Can you make out anything else? Or is it just gone?” I asked.

The clanking of his armor was dull beneath his raincloack. “No, it’s just…” He trailed off, his gaze distant, as if he were staring through the hillside. “There is something faint, but it’s far off.”

“Like an afterimage?” Scowling, Malia flicked damp, cloying leaves off her tail.

“Nothing like that.” His lips pressed together in a thin line. “It reminds me of the mongoose a bit, but in a strange way. Like how grapes and songs can both be sour.”

“I would never call a song ‘sour,’” Malia said, examining the back of her hand. “But I understand. So another Paeden creature?”

“Maybe.” His brow furrowed as he stared at the distant mountain. “It’s far enough away that it’s hard to gauge anything about it.”

I patted his shoulder. “We’ll worry about that when the time comes. In the meantime, I believe you have some soldiers to meet.”

And he did. When we arrived just outside the village, making good time despite the rain, a handful of squads lounged around makeshift tents at the edge of the town. The miners hadn’t shunned them, necessarily, but they still kept their distance from the outsiders. Kidon stood among the townspeople, hidden beneath his Veil. Scowling profusely, his face looked lined even more than the last time I’d seen the wrinkly old half-troll (or whatever bloodline he actually came from). His bulk towered over the villagers, who walked through him unawares. When he noticed us, he unfolded his arms, like a beaver dam collapsing, and sauntered towards the soldiers’ camp.

They came to attention as the scout caught sight of Hasda and, to their credit, not one flinched as Kydon Unveiled himself in their midst. Carthian blues fluttered on cloaks, steeples of azure plumes adorning their helmets. Spears pierced as the handfuls of soldiers assumed positions, swords rattling in their scabbards. Kydon assumed a parade rest between them, waiting for us to approach.

“It is well that you have arrived, Gods of War.” His voice rumbled as he spoke. Although we hadn’t Unveiled, he could see us perfectly fine, and his words made the troops stand a little straighter. I didn’t like his sudden formality, but I kept my frown away. If Kydon had noticed the twitch in my face, he didn’t react. “I have assessed and maintained the borders of our lands, and am pleased to report that they remain intact for now. However, the lines of battle have been drawn. War has not yet been declared, given your absence, and my own attempts at diplomacy have thus far failed.”

Sighing, Malia and I slipped out of our Veil and glanced over the gathered soldiers before greeting Kydon with matching ceremony. The fact that he was openly admitting to parley with the Paedens, and that he hadn’t succeeded, meant the situation was dire. Being on the verge of war after communing with our divine ambassador was never a good omen. Malia and I, as the Gods of War, would meet with the Paedens after Hasda had been instated as captain of the troop.

It was unlikely our conference would lead to any other outcome but, while the Paedens were still in a talkative mood, we would gather what intel we could before both sides were up in arms. And, given how few warriors we had available in this fringe province, we would need every advantage we could get. Once we knew what deities we were up against, we’d be able to undermine or circumvent their protection to cull the enemy mortals and level the battlefield a bit.

“I trust you’ve a full report on who the Paedens brought?” Malia bent her wings in a canopy over herself and me, shielding us against the rain.

Kydon stood straight, statuesque in his disregard for the drizzle beading his skin. “A pair of Apkalla, a handful of minor deities, and a goddess.” He snorted. “Apparently we don’t ‘merit’ sending a strong enough male deity, despite the severity of the impending threat. But, I will say that the subtext of their words was worried. It sounds as if Marudak himself may soon join their camp.”

“And the other matter I asked after?” Her eyes had a devilish glint to them that I didn’t trust, a feeling exacerbated by her refusing to meet my eyes.

The ogre dipped his head. “Nearly ready. They should be here any moment, in fact.”

“Excellent.” Her snakes flicked their tongues as she nodded. “Ready the men for the ceremony then, and see if we can coincide the timings.”

“As you wish.” He barked a command, and a pair of soldiers separated from the rear and sprinted off into the village, heading towards the mountain pass. Grunting, Kydon folded his arms and turned back to us. “I’ll get the scouts’ reports before we begin the ceremony proper. As of last rotation, the Paedens were still in their camps, hiding from the rain.”

I gave Malia a sideways glance as she slipped her arm around mine. “What are we trying to synchronize, exactly?”

“Seppo is gathering a few scattered tribes from the surrounding lands to bolster our ranks.” Kydon gave me a questioning look. “Have you not discussed tactics yet?”

“Certain strategies depend on the numbers present and stations available to us.” Malia squeezed my arm, smiling at my deflected protest. “Hasda can handle the squads already in the village, but we’ll need to see the way the tribes are arrayed before we can know how best to use them.”

Kydon snorted. “Speaking of the clansmen.”

A low rumble preceded the arrival of Seppo and the tribes he’d collected. A pack of half-clad warriors, not quite large enough to call a horde, emerged from the western edge of the forest. Beards and hair long, dark, and full, they wore kilts of deerskin or wolf pelts. Each chest bore a branching rune, the ruddy mud smeared on by their fellows before their march. Although their torsos were unarmored, they had leather plates strapped to their arms and thighs, tawny kite shields on their forearms, and all but a handful of archers wore helmets of engraved bronze or steel.

Next to their evident leader, a tall man sporting braids and a rotund belly without an ounce of fat, marched Seppo. His exoskeleton clashed horribly with the aesthetic of the forest tribesmen, but he looked content to be among them. Flanking him were…Thane and Azoria?


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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Okay...well this is a lovely little entrance here. It seems just about right. Nothing too flashy or too hidden about it and it seems like everyone is just a little bit tenser than they normally are and clearly we are all expecting some sort of war to be very inevitable.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Rain blanketed the mountains of Tingid.

We stepped through the portal and scurried into the safety of the trees, Malia whisking a treated cloak over Hasda’s shoulders before pulling the Veil over ours. As important as this confrontation was, in the end it’d been decided that only Seppo would accompany us into the region, but approaching separately from the west. With Kydon already here on the Carthians’ behalf, we couldn’t risk moving too much of our pantheon until things had devolved into war proper.

Of the Seated, Synnefo might join us later, and hopefully sooner, given the cheery weather we were experiencing. There was a pressure in my sinuses that wasn’t entirely from the air pressure, though, a portent of either the Sea Mother’s imminent arrival or the influence of the Paeden weather god. Thane would need less time to heal than Malia, but Seppo judged his presence more needed in Aenea than Tingid, so he would travel south with Azoria once he was back in fighting shape to help Resef and Vrixia. Tarrha, never one to dirty her hands in politics, was off fornicating with whatever lover or concubine she’d conscripted this time, and Ulti had likely galavanted off beyond the mountains with the clouds relieving them of their sunshine duty. We would only bring the other Unseated major and rising minor gods into the fray if things got really messy.


Okay....that sounds like a little bit of a rushed battle plan there but then it is good to see that being mentioned up front there. Even though it is a bit of a sudden list there it is good to get a sense of just where everyone else is and what they will be doing. I have no doubt all of that is going to play into the story quite heavily here.

Against the full might of an eldritch goddess, though, we might not survive long enough to summon them. But Tamiyat, despite how powerful she was, had yet to reclaim that level of strength. And if the Paedens were open to diplomacy, we could perhaps avert such a crisis entirely. That had been the running hope, and even if we found the Paedens fully arrayed against us, it was a hope we still had to cling to.

Bleating goats caught my attention. When I glanced at Malia, her frown melted into a grin like the sun breaking through these accursed rainclouds.

“Maybe we can share the wealth a little,” she said, eyes glinting.

Brows lifted, I tilted my head at her. “How so?”

“We’ve used the beasts in jest enough. For once, they could be used in earnest.” Her wings twitched at the rain that slipped through the foliage.


Oh dear...well that...now that would be an epic attack there. Goats just charging into the middle of a battle with absolutely no warning is quite a hilarious idea, although that is also a bit of a sad plan because of just what might happen to those goats once the Paedens figure out what they are.

The thought of a herd of goats, clattering with swords or pans as they charged through the night at the Paedens, brought a smile to my lips. “Perhaps they could.”

“The tiger is still here, right?” Hasda’s step squelched in a pile of leaves.

I nodded. “It remained in the region as the guardian of the miners.”

“I can’t sense it.”

Malia and I shared a look. Her smile reassuring, she slid to his left, positioning him between us. “I’m sure it’s fine. Divine beasts are strong and resilient things. It’s probably hiding deep in the mines.”

He shook his head. “I could still sense it then. But I can’t feel anything.”

I frowned. In addition to being able to communicate with any animal, Beast Whisperers could often sense the aura of divine beasts. This let them sense the creature’s mood, health, and any injuries, which was especially helpful with the less communicative divine beasts. The Kydonian tiger had allowed itself to be associated with Jade, sharing Tingid with her, and the fact that both the tiger and the goddess were missing was a bad sign.


Well..that's not good. I'm sure that odd detail is definitely not just going to be a random isolated one so naturally that means that something is off with this tiger and with the kind of observation that Charax just made there, its not going to be anything remotely good here.

“Can you make out anything else? Or is it just gone?” I asked.

The clanking of his armor was dull beneath his raincloack. “No, it’s just…” He trailed off, his gaze distant, as if he were staring through the hillside. “There is something faint, but it’s far off.”

“Like an afterimage?” Scowling, Malia flicked damp, cloying leaves off her tail.

“Nothing like that.” His lips pressed together in a thin line. “It reminds me of the mongoose a bit, but in a strange way. Like how grapes and songs can both be sour.”

“I would never call a song ‘sour,’” Malia said, examining the back of her hand. “But I understand. So another Paeden creature?”

“Maybe.” His brow furrowed as he stared at the distant mountain. “It’s far enough away that it’s hard to gauge anything about it.”

I patted his shoulder. “We’ll worry about that when the time comes. In the meantime, I believe you have some soldiers to meet.”


Okay...well that is certainly not the most refreshing bit of news at this time of the morning. It looks like that tiger is potentially not going to be an ally but some sort of enemy somehow. It seems very oddly specific to compare it to that ever so dangerous mongoose otherwise. I guess I should just wait like Charax and find out when the time comes.

And he did. When we arrived just outside the village, making good time despite the rain, a handful of squads lounged around makeshift tents at the edge of the town. The miners hadn’t shunned them, necessarily, but they still kept their distance from the outsiders. Kidon stood among the townspeople, hidden beneath his Veil. Scowling profusely, his face looked lined even more than the last time I’d seen the wrinkly old half-troll (or whatever bloodline he actually came from). His bulk towered over the villagers, who walked through him unawares. When he noticed us, he unfolded his arms, like a beaver dam collapsing, and sauntered towards the soldiers’ camp.

They came to attention as the scout caught sight of Hasda and, to their credit, not one flinched as Kydon Unveiled himself in their midst. Carthian blues fluttered on cloaks, steeples of azure plumes adorning their helmets. Spears pierced as the handfuls of soldiers assumed positions, swords rattling in their scabbards. Kydon assumed a parade rest between them, waiting for us to approach.

“It is well that you have arrived, Gods of War.” His voice rumbled as he spoke. Although we hadn’t Unveiled, he could see us perfectly fine, and his words made the troops stand a little straighter. I didn’t like his sudden formality, but I kept my frown away. If Kydon had noticed the twitch in my face, he didn’t react. “I have assessed and maintained the borders of our lands, and am pleased to report that they remain intact for now. However, the lines of battle have been drawn. War has not yet been declared, given your absence, and my own attempts at diplomacy have thus far failed.”


Okay...well that is certainly an oddly formal greeting although maybe that was just for the benefit of the normal soldiers there who probably should remain in a more professional mood. And well...given how good Kydon was at diplomacy in that other trial I'm not surprised by him failing here...although that might be a bit harsh. At any rate, it looks like things are only really going to turn to war here, of course unless Malia has some more interesting diplomatic tactics in mind.

Sighing, Malia and I slipped out of our Veil and glanced over the gathered soldiers before greeting Kydon with matching ceremony. The fact that he was openly admitting to parley with the Paedens, and that he hadn’t succeeded, meant the situation was dire. Being on the verge of war after communing with our divine ambassador was never a good omen. Malia and I, as the Gods of War, would meet with the Paedens after Hasda had been instated as captain of the troop.

It was unlikely our conference would lead to any other outcome but, while the Paedens were still in a talkative mood, we would gather what intel we could before both sides were up in arms. And, given how few warriors we had available in this fringe province, we would need every advantage we could get. Once we knew what deities we were up against, we’d be able to undermine or circumvent their protection to cull the enemy mortals and level the battlefield a bit.

“I trust you’ve a full report on who the Paedens brought?” Malia bent her wings in a canopy over herself and me, shielding us against the rain.


Okay...well, it seems like I was right and they will attempt something resembling diplomacy before declaring war. That does seem like a reasonable tactic to be employing at a moment like this and I really do hope they are at least somewhat successful although I have to assume there will be some form of war.

Kydon stood straight, statuesque in his disregard for the drizzle beading his skin. “A pair of Apkalla, a handful of minor deities, and a goddess.” He snorted. “Apparently we don’t ‘merit’ sending a strong enough male deity, despite the severity of the impending threat. But, I will say that the subtext of their words was worried. It sounds as if Marudak himself may soon join their camp.”

“And the other matter I asked after?” Her eyes had a devilish glint to them that I didn’t trust, a feeling exacerbated by her refusing to meet my eyes.

The ogre dipped his head. “Nearly ready. They should be here any moment, in fact.”

“Excellent.” Her snakes flicked their tongues as she nodded. “Ready the men for the ceremony then, and see if we can coincide the timings.”


Okayy...well that is certainly quite some information. It looks like that lot are somewhat scared of the potential of war but they are also then trying their hardest to appear like they aren't afraid in the slightest. Its an interesting little middle ground to be hitting and I am quite intrigued to see where it goes.

“As you wish.” He barked a command, and a pair of soldiers separated from the rear and sprinted off into the village, heading towards the mountain pass. Grunting, Kydon folded his arms and turned back to us. “I’ll get the scouts’ reports before we begin the ceremony proper. As of last rotation, the Paedens were still in their camps, hiding from the rain.”

I gave Malia a sideways glance as she slipped her arm around mine. “What are we trying to synchronize, exactly?”

“Seppo is gathering a few scattered tribes from the surrounding lands to bolster our ranks.” Kydon gave me a questioning look. “Have you not discussed tactics yet?”

“Certain strategies depend on the numbers present and stations available to us.” Malia squeezed my arm, smiling at my deflected protest. “Hasda can handle the squads already in the village, but we’ll need to see the way the tribes are arrayed before we can know how best to use them.”


Okay...well the fact they seem trading in some mild barbs in the midst of this conversation is oddly relaxing. If things really were at the worst position they could be I'm sure that's when we'll see everyone actually getting along and rallying for the common enemy.

Kydon snorted. “Speaking of the clansmen.”

A low rumble preceded the arrival of Seppo and the tribes he’d collected. A pack of half-clad warriors, not quite large enough to call a horde, emerged from the western edge of the forest. Beards and hair long, dark, and full, they wore kilts of deerskin or wolf pelts. Each chest bore a branching rune, the ruddy mud smeared on by their fellows before their march. Although their torsos were unarmored, they had leather plates strapped to their arms and thighs, tawny kite shields on their forearms, and all but a handful of archers wore helmets of engraved bronze or steel.

Next to their evident leader, a tall man sporting braids and a rotund belly without an ounce of fat, marched Seppo. His exoskeleton clashed horribly with the aesthetic of the forest tribesmen, but he looked content to be among them. Flanking him were…Thane and Azoria?


Oh dear..well that is a surprise. I don't believe they were supposed to be anywhere near this, and I trust that Charax had the best sources on the matter so I'm gonna guess that whatever this is is some other form of magic craziness. The title of that next chapter there is making me wonder some crazy theories though.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall it looks like we've certainly got more than a few things brewing here. I have no doubts this is going to tend towards some very interesting places before we actually get to war itself, but well that's for another chapter.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Mon Jun 27, 2022 8:56 am
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hey again, Icy here with another review!

I always enjoy when we change scene because it gives me a chance to read some of your lovely description. I'd like to see some more about this world in future chapters (if we haven't been here already).

It makes sense that we've moved ahead a little, and I enjoyed getting a bit of an insight into their strategy without us having to read through the part where they discuss it and iron out the details. This pace works well I think.

Nitpicks

Against the full might of an eldritch goddess, though, we might not survive long enough to summon them. But Tamiyat, despite how powerful she was, had yet to reclaim that level of strength.

There's a lot of contradictions in this section and I found it a bit confusing to read. Are they in that much danger or not?

The tiger issue intrigued me, though I think I expected Charax to be more concerned. He seems to brush it off pretty quickly and assume all will be fine whereas it doesn't really feel like he has any reason to assume that. I'm guessing we'll come back around to the tiger in due course!

It really feels like we're building towards a big battle and I'm curious to see why Thane and Azoria are there given we already covered off they were needed in Aenea. Does that mean the situation here is worse, or are they going against what was agreed?

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Icy






Thanks! :)

On its own, I can see how that sentence looks like a contradiction. They've already brushed up against Tamiyat once or twice by this point. While she's confined to the higher dimension, she has a maddening influence that's already corrupted one minor god and visibly affected a full-blown deity, and her agents are very much able to move on her behalf as well. So that sentence is more saying "we'd be totally screwed if she were firing on all cylinders, but we're only partially screwed with the cylinders she currently has."

Divine beasts (like the tiger) tend to come and go as they please, so it's more unusual for it to have remained in one spot as long as it has. They made it a sort of "mascot" of the region many chapters ago, so it could be expected to be there, but even with that tie it's not that out of character for it to be MIA.

Oh yeah, big battle is definitely on the way lol. Idk how many chapters until then tho XD



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Tue Jun 07, 2022 1:34 am
Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

Ah, this chapter kind of felt like a blast from the past! It really brought back memories from simpler times, back when the only problems were Hasda's trial and Malia's meddling. Really puts in perspective how far we've evolved from that point.

I was curious about the addition (or rather, the lack) of the tiger in this chapter. It's interesting how Hasda can't sense it anymore, but felt something far away—I wonder if the tiger moved of its own accord, or if it was taken? Or if what Hasda's sensing isn't even the tiger at all? I'm leaning more towards the last option, but that does beg the question: what happened to the tiger, and why can't Hasda sense it? I'm hoping it's nothing bad, but given what's going on, I feel like it might be.

I also really liked the descriptions of the forces Seppo brought. I like the contrast between them and the Carthian soldiers, and I'm curious whether the Carthians will benefit from having them on their side. I wonder if they'll have any significance, or if they're just extra bodies. Hopefully, my questions will be answered soon—I'm counting on a big battle to reveal the truth.

Specifics

The thought of a herd of goats, clattering with swords or pans as they charged through the night at the Paedens, brought a smile to my lips. “Perhaps they could.”


Ah, the return of the goats. I have to admit, this part made me smile. It was a nice little nod to previous bits of humor in the story.

Kidon stood among the townspeople, hidden beneath his Veil.


I think, if I'm not mistaken, that that's supposed to be "Kydon"?

Flanking him were…Thane and Azoria?


This, to me, didn't necessarily have the vibe of a big reveal to me. It seems like the chapter should continue from this point. To make it seem more final, I'd build it up a bit more, maybe describing the two figures before Charax realizes that it's Thane and Azoria. Aside from that, though, I am quite curious about what they're doing there! Given what Charax said in the first half, I didn't expect to have them make an appearance. And alongside Seppo, too! I'm wondering if Seppo always planned that, or if it was a spur-of-the-moment decision. It seemed more preplanned given what Malia was saying, but I can't think of a good reason why Seppo would misinform Charax about where he was sending them.

Overall: great work!! Looking forward to seeing how things go with both Hasda's first leadership position and negotiations with the Paedens. Only time will tell if this battle will be more than they bargained for. Until next time!!





If food is poetry, is not poetry also food?
— Joyce Carol Oates