Young Writers Society

Hello Maxwellisunwell.

I thought I'd leave a quick review. I really enjoyed your poem. It was very emotionally provocative and sweet. At the begining of your poem, with the way you singled out "love" on its own line, I thought the narrator was addressing Love, the emotion personified. But as I delved further into your poem, I was a little taken a back when I learned that the two characters are strangers. Yet the narrator seems to know more about Love than Love knows about the narrator. In a way, there's a beauty to them being (somewhat) strangers because Love is shown his/her worth through the perspective of someone he/she doesn't know. Love is shown through the narrator's words that he/she is seen, even through he/she may not have realized it. That's a very beautiful theme.
I was also really curious what you what meant by the following line: "I know that you're brave to stand at this crossroad, even though everyone else will tell you this is a coward's way out." It is both intriguing and perplexing.
I like your use of repetition with the line "Come away from the sea". From the way you described the sea at the beginning, I'm guessing the ocean is an embodiment of depression/insecurity. That is actually a very profound comparison because the sea is chaotic and unpredictable. I can envision the crash of waves reflecting Love's inner turmoil, and the narrator trying to coax Love away from it, to see him/herself in a better light.
All in all, great job and I hope to read more from you.

Thank you for sharing!
Poetry Misfit

Hello! Lorde here with a little review of your poem. It's captivating, and I hope this review is helpful.

Let's start with the beginning. You open your story incredibly well. You set the central conflict and set the tone. So we almost immediately know what this poem is about and its direction. I especially love the line "don't you know this is a place where stories end."

One thing I love about this poem is that it destroys the idea that suicide is the answer. Many people idealize suicide, even when writing about stopping a suicide attempt. However, you go as far as to say, "If you give up now, all of this would have been for nothing, and you really wouldn't matter." I'm tired of people putting those who commit on a pedestal, forever ingraining that suicide is a viable way out. Thank you for changing the narrative.

Last thing, your ending. I love how you don't lie. You don't claim that tomorrow will be a good day, but you believe in that chance because a chance for something better trumps never taking that chance again.

You did a good job here, and with some more practice, you can be even better. Keep on writing!

- Lorde