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by leleparadise


You are an unbalanced scale

Forever weighing the odds

Of your successes

Your dreams

Your sense of self

You are a soul under constant construction

Renovating the walls of your mind

To make room for more ways to judge yourself

Not realizing

That all of your self reflections

Should be seen from the open end

Of an acute angle

You are more than your failures

You are greater than your mistakes

You are larger than your expectations

You are higher than your lows

You are beyond your worst fears

And you are above all that is done or said against you

You. Are. More.


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6 Reviews


Points: 247
Reviews: 6

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Sat Dec 11, 2021 3:38 pm
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D wrote a review...



This was quite an empowering poem, especially for those who struggle with self-esteem. I love how 'You' is repeated throughout, laying a strong emphasis on the reader and how they're more - it's powerful and inspiring.

I think these are my favourite lines!
"That all of your self reflections
Should be seen from the open end
Of an acute angle"

I'm not sure I understood them right but I felt you meant to emphasise on how our own ideas of ourselves don't quite constitute the whole of our identity and we should realise that; as the open end of an acute angle is quite narrow as opposed to say, an obtuse angle.
I also enjoyed the lack of punctuation throughout, except in the last line. I don't do that often and it was interesting to see how it's absence didn't take away from the poem.
Thank you so much for sharing!
-D




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7 Reviews


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Thu Dec 09, 2021 9:04 pm
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SimiDeJoie4 wrote a review...



This is a highly inspirational poem. It talks about a person filled with doubts, so unsure of his or herself, focusing only on the negative side. The poet is bringing the person into the realization that the person should channel all the ' self reflection' to the positive side.
I love the effect you created here using parallelism:
' ... You are more than your failures
You are greater than your mistakes
You are larger than your expectations
You are higher than your lows
You are beyond your worst fears...'

Well done. Keep up the good work.




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23 Reviews


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Wed Dec 08, 2021 6:33 pm
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CotardDelusionz wrote a review...



Very inspiring poem what this poem talks about is something I really struggle with, a feeling of loss and a chaotic or sad self image, the "sense of self". The beginning really felt like it was speaking directly to me like someone just opened my mind and knew everything about me. This feeling makes it more inspiring at the end because it feels personal like someone who despite knowing all your failures and quirks sternly believe you are more,

"You are more than your failures

You are greater than your mistakes

You are larger than your expectations

You are higher than your lows

You are beyond your worst fears

And you are above all that is done or said against you

You. Are. More."

This is a nice poem that will stick to some people, especially the last part. People who've never been told they are more than what they see themselves will be moved by this.




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Wed Dec 08, 2021 1:29 am
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Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

This was a really lovely poem! The message was really great, and that last line was especially stark, given how punctuated it was. I think it was very reassuring, and you did a really nice job of it!!

I loved the repetition in it, especially of "you" at the beginning of a lot of sequential phrases. I thought your choice of subject was interesting too; it was unclear whether you were addressing someone you knew or you were just opening it to the reader/people in general, but I think that worked really well. It was great to have that interpretation open. I also adored your first line and the part about construction too; I think they were both beautiful images to convey your meaning. Really great work!!

One thing I did wonder is if it would benefit from stanzas. Right now, it reads like one long thought. I think that can have its benefits and disadvantages, but I think this poem does divide itself somewhat into clearer-cut ideas within it. It would be interesting to play around with spacing just to see what you come up with!!

Specifics

That all of your self reflections

Should be seen from the open end

Of an acute angle


This was the one part I was a little unclear on; I feel like the "open end" of an acute angle could be interpreted in many ways. I wasn't sure if you meant the part that isn't the angle (i. e. if an angle is 15 degrees, the so-called "open end" would be 165) or if you meant the end of an angle, which, if it's acute, would be pretty narrow. I think it could benefit from another analogy or some other clarification.

Overall: great job! I loved those images you incorporated throughout along with your repetition, and the message was really powerful. Once again, nice work, and I hope to read more of your work on here soon! Until next time!!




leleparadise says...


Thank you so much for the review. I appreciate your words.

For the acute angle, I was hoping to describe the %u201Cgreater than%u201D sign %u201C<%u201C or %u201C>%u201D

I wasn't sure how to word it or introduce that bridge to the second part without losing flow. Do you have any suggestions?



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149 Reviews


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Wed Dec 08, 2021 12:03 am
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vampricone6783 says...



I like this poem.It lets you know that you are more in life and that you deserve the world.Sometimes we forget that we are more in life and we need to be recognized as humans.We all need this in life,it’s a friendly reminder that we are human.It’s a great poem.I hope you have a lovely day/night.





You're given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself. What you say is completely up to you.
— Madeleine L'Engle, A Wrinkle in Time