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Survival: The Escape, Chapter 21.4

by HarryHardy

The light died down as suddenly as it had come over them, and she allowed herself to open her eyes. She let out a sigh of relief. The thud had been Ryan landing beside them. He’d somehow made it to the fence and vaulted over just in time. It looked like he’d landed flat on his back, but besides being a little shaken he looked okay. He gave them all a thumbs up and pointed in the direction they were supposed to be in. Aria nodded and turned towards the house. She began making her way around it, being careful to avoid running into anything and staying in the shadows.

There were thankfully no cameras in the residential area so they didn’t have to worry about that, but as soon as they got near the warehouse they were going to have to move quickly. There was no way for them to be able to hide from those cameras. From the analysis that had been done with the drone footage, the cameras near the warehouse had been positioned perfectly to make their blind spots negligibly small, or in most areas there just wasn’t a blind spot. They’d have to rely on being quick to sneak into something and getting far away before anyone could raise the alarm.

The next few minutes were tense as Aria led them over to the back of the house and they looked on the next road they would have to cross. That particular road was a dead end, and unless the two transports headed into town circled back towards here, there shouldn’t be anything else out on the road. That was the good part about that road. The bad part was that if the transports did end up coming there, it meant they were probably going to be stopping somewhere and potentially even coming into that very house. That would be very bad.

Aria peeked over the hedge again, looking for any signs of the transports heading this way. At the moment the road was looking empty, but it was quite a long one and there just wasn’t any way to tell if there might be a transport further down the road. She gestured for them to go towards trees near the road leading to the warehouse.

Aria leaned back to whisper in Kate’s ear. Daisy couldn’t make out what was being said, but she assumed Aria was telling Kate to go first because the girl quickly picked up her gun and jumped the hedge. They watched as she quickly ducked behind the nearest tree. Aria gestured towards Ryan, who quickly nodded and went next. A few seconds later he was also safely behind the tree. So far it didn’t look like there was anything headed their way.

Aria then turned pointedly to her and Daisy nodded. She turned to give Harry a quick smile and then she was off, the looked towards the side that the transports were supposed to come from as she ran. As far as she could make out, there wasn’t anything that looked like a moving transport visible in the distance. She crossed over into the grass on the other side and ran towards Kate and Ryan. It looked like that tree was only big enough to cover the two of them so she kept running till she found another tree and hid behind that one, before turning back to the house. She flashed Aria a quick thumbs and she could see Aria nodding from behind the hedge.

A few more seconds passed and then she saw Harry jump over the hedge, followed seconds later by Aria. The two siblings crossed the road together, both of them looking towards the town to watch for approaching transports. Soon, the two of them were behind the tree along with Daisy.

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377 Reviews

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Sun Dec 05, 2021 8:32 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...

Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

This was a more laid-back and relaxed part, and honestly, I am not going to complain. It seems that the cliffhanger from the previous part wasn't that big of a deal and 'the thud' was just Ryan landing in safety. I thought it would be anticlimactic after the great excitement you caused with that ending, but I am more than glad that they did not have to fight through any big battles right now. They are very close to the ending, and I would really like for them to go i peace (of course, you are not going to do that).

I did think that the transformation of the tone and pace from the previous part to this one happened a little too quickly and it felt like we glossed over certain details. In that sense, it was more like the first part of this chapter. It felt like a monotonous narration of what was going on and I had forgotten that we were supposed to read from Daisy's point of view. It changed again once they were on move and trying to hide behind the trees. At that time, I could again hear Daisy's voice, her thoughts and feelings, as once again get caught up in what is happening in the moment.

I enjoyed the calm of this part. You moved the plot along in an easy and effortless manner and this chapter was like a fresh breath of air after the dangers and uncertainties of the forest. Even now, we don't have much idea of what is going to happen. But they are almost out now, and whatever happens, this is it.

She turned to give Harry a quick smile and then she was off, the looked towards the side that the transports were supposed to come from as she ran.

There was a bit of a difficult interruption with "the looked towards the side". Not sure if it was a typo or there are words missing.

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!

HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!! :D

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Fri Dec 03, 2021 6:57 am
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...

Hey!! Forever here with a review!!

Wow, I guessed it right! *Flashes a wide smile* So, no more danger of the aliens except the slight suspect of the transport system. Hopefully, that is not going to be a big problem in the upcoming parts.

Anyway, we are back to our relaxed style. I like the alternating relaxed and action style of writing in this chapter. So, hm... Seems like the aliens are extra cautious about everything. CCTV camera in alien settlements too. Maybe the aliens steal too. Okay, so some robbery is going to happen, I can see that. However, I am afraid that it can be detected. Like most probably, they will not be able to hide from the warehouse cameras. I do wonder if something is in responsibility of monitoring that camera. If there's always an alien to do that, it would be very bad for them besides being terribly hard to sneak out.

It's quite interesting how the easiest option they had in their hand is becoming harder and harder to execute. The transport, though an advantage is proving to be a disadvantage too. Hm... This reminds me of the time when the spaceship crashed into the camp. This chapter is reminding me of the past quite frequently. I like it :D

And now supposedly, they are quite safe behind the giant trees. Now, it's time for them to get out through the transports and also to steal a few things.

Keep Writing!!


HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!! :D

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Thu Dec 02, 2021 1:26 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...

Hi Harry,

Mailice again here with a short review! :D

Here we come back to the old formula of the beginning and I have to say that it makes the third part seem a lot more mysterious and secretive than it probably should be. But I like the way the story goes back in the direction of the silent quintet.

I must honestly say that this part left more of an impression. Especially because the parts here all seem a bit smaller, I like this one because of the rapid succession of events you present here. You suddenly see a bit more of what I missed in the previous parts and it comes to a great end. I like how the thread continues here.

One thing I noticed here, though, was how the first section limped a bit. Unlike the other parts here in the chapter, this one feels quite flat and a bit abbreviated and silent through the sentences. I know there was this long sentence at the beginning, but the repetition here of several shorter sentences adds rather negatively to the beginning, especially because it just ended from the last part still so in a high arc of tension. Here we now have a rather mediocre result. I think it would only help to perhaps expand on this a bit more and write more to underline this point better.

One thing I noticed while reading:

The light died down as suddenly as it had come over them, and she allowed herself to open her eyes. She let out a sigh of relief.

I would mention here in the second sentence that it's Daisy because two parts before that you start telling Aria in a similar way.

Have fun writing!


HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!! :D

“I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. "I am with you.”
— Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince