Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Dramatic


Burn

by CotardDelusionz


Burn

A mad man's desire is to burn in fire.

He seeks warmth.

He will not be satisfied with a cold death.

He will set himself on fire, because it is his desire.

He will burn.

And scream

just as his heart always wanted to do.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
57 Reviews


Points: 147
Reviews: 57

Donate
Thu Oct 14, 2021 4:30 pm
View Likes
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



I enjoyed reading this poem,about burning.Though it’s short,it does have an important meaning to it.Sometimes,we’d achieve so much,it will consume us and no longer feel like achievement.It will feel like we are burning hopelessly in a fire.This poem can be looked at in two ways:”burning is worth it if you achieve your dreams” or “burning is foolish if you’re in pain.” This was lovely to read.I hope you have a good day/night.






Thank you! You too.



User avatar
25 Reviews


Points: 22
Reviews: 25

Donate
Mon Oct 11, 2021 1:00 pm
View Likes
AriesBookworm wrote a review...



Queen Elizabeth died because of her makeup. Marie Curie died in the name of science while studying radiation. Both did great things, Queen Elizabeth was the first queen to rule by herself in England and became of England's greatest rulers. If it wasn't for Marie Curie, we wouldn't have X-rays and wouldn't know as much about radiation as we do today. While both did incredible things, especially for their time, they ended up killing themselves. Elizabeth was her makeup, and Marie was the radiation she studied. Sometimes, our greatest desires can end up killing us in the process of us getting them. Literally and figuratively. Sometimes however, when we die, others will take over and learn from us.

If King Henry hadn't had six wives, there's a chance that Queen Elizabeth wouldn't have been The Virgin Queen we all know today. (Though, there is some controversy on whether or not Queen Elizabeth was really a virgin.) Elizabeth knew that women in that time had no control over anything, especially once they were married.

If Marie Curie's mother hadn't died, there's a chance she would have never studied radiation to help people outside of a hospital.




User avatar
393 Reviews


Points: 41700
Reviews: 393

Donate
Sat Oct 09, 2021 11:02 pm
View Likes
Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

I enjoyed reading this poem!! Despite it being short, I think you really packed some punches in those lines! That ending was especially strong; it definitely had the air of a conclusion, and had a lot of weight to it. I feel like there's some hidden message in there about having nice things even when they'll kill you. It reads like an extended metaphor/parable, and it does the job quite well! Nice work!

I really loved your word choices throughout. Those internal rhymes of fire and desire were really well executed. Your other choices were great too; I loved the phrase "cold death" and the line breaks in between "he will burn/and scream" was also a really nice touch. The overall flow of the poem was nice too; normally I don't like so much white space, but in your work, it serves to break up those thoughts and isolate them, in a way, which really adds a whole lot to the way the reader reads it.

One thing I wondered about (and this is a bit nitpicky) is maybe making the white space more consistent. Formatting sometimes gets tricky on this site, and yours (with all the different margins and white space) feels a bit random at the moment. You might want to try formatting it somewhere else, saving that, and then importing it as an image here, just so you can make it presentationally cohesive and such.

Overall: nice work!! I enjoyed this short little poem, and I hope to read more of your work sometime!! Until next time!






Thank you for the great review and yeah it is very tricky it took me like 10 tries to submit with white space.



User avatar


Points: 234
Reviews: 4

Donate
Fri Oct 08, 2021 9:18 pm
View Likes
IAmKai wrote a review...



Hello as you can see from my username I am Kai and I am here to review this.
My first thought was “oh I like this”
It is very good. The format is not hard to decipher and is visually pleasing.
The words flow well and don’t get stuck while you’re reading.
The only point for improvement I can see is that you might do well making it a bit longer. But overall good work.






Thank youu




Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
— Henry David Thoreau