There she was, still
until I saw her. She moved
tried to escape me
there was no way out.
I was the giant standing
at the only door-
the only possible escape she had.
She kept trying to run
as I chased her.
But neither her, nor me knew
where she was to go.
You would think
there was a problem
with no solution, except-
the next time I tried to chase her
She ran straight towards me
And made her way.
As she scared her problem away.
hi there! i thought this was such a cute poem :3 i feel like this a lot, like the creature who is about 1/100th of my size is probably more afraid of me than i am of it, but i get scared off instead anyway.
i thought the deeper message was something about how some of our problems that seem so big can actually be easily overcome. thanks for sharing!
Hey anne! Incoming review!
I was, and still am, confused as to why you titled the poem Lizard but I liked the work either way. With that said let me get on with the review!
I'll start out with critiques. My biggest complaint would be with clarity. Is the "she" a lizard? Are you actually a giant? Why are you trapping her? It's those kinds of questions that get me hung up on a poem and don't let me see the rest of the poem's beauty. It's like when you read your favourite book again and there are major plot holes that you just can't ignore. Other than the clarity issue, I couldn't find anything else really to critique. You fixed autocapitalization, not really a mistake but makes writing look better.
With the critiques out of the way let me praise your work! Your punctuation was pleasing to the eye with the layout. Although I'm sure it was completely accidental, the periods seems to come at just the right time.
This was also a more action-like poem and I don't see that regularly. Just another way to show that poetry is more than "Roses are red/ Violets are blue." Even with the confusion, or just my smooth brain, my favourite lines were
It's like "she" was more scary than you. Somewhat of the notion that people say "Insert scary animal here is more scared of you and you are of it." Although, I think the first line I quoted was auto capitalized when it shouldn't be in the poem.She ran straight towards me
And made her way.
As she scared her problem away.
This is a short poem,but it has meaning to it.I believe the narrator was someone important in their life,but that other person was being a “lizard” and pushing the narrator out of their lives forever.Unless the “lizard” in the poem had the right to do it,because the narrator was standing in the way of their opportunity in life.I liked the poem.I hope you have a good day/night.
120,147 Literary Works • 648,811 Reviews
Points: 233
Reviews: 12
Donate