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Survival: The Escape, Chapter 6.4

by HarryHardy


The shift finally came to an end as it was nearing the middle of night. The lights had also gone out precisely when their shift was supposed to end, forcing them to have to feel around to pack the tools away properly.

The one bit of solace was night sky. It was a clear sky and several stars were shining through. Daisy suggested that they all wait an extra fifteen minutes to observe the stars. It had been three years since the three of them had ever gotten a night shift so taking advantage of the opportunity couldn't hurt.

"But that's just going to cut into time that we can spend doing something useful like, oh I don't know sleeping," argued Aria the moment that Daisy suggested it.

"But the stars will make you feel better," defended Daisy.

"Well she has a point you know," agreed Harry,"the stars are always wonderfully relaxing to look at."

Aria let out a sigh. "I suppose you're not going to listen to reason."

"Oh come on, look on the bright side," said Harry. Daisy couldn't help but suppress a smile. His eyes didn’t quite carry their usual light but he was trying. He could be putting up a front just to fool them but it was only the first day and it wouldn’t be the first disappointment the humans suffered. Harry would be fine.

"I really don't know what you mean," said Aria, still looking set on getting them to leave.

"See what they wanted, as judging by the currently switched off lights, was for us to stay up late and then get frustrated about walking back at night in the dark. But instead we can enjoy the stars."

"But we're still going to be late to bed and have to walk back in the dark, I don't see how that's an improvement."

"We'll be less frustrated," pointed out Daisy, chiming in.

"I will be," replied Aria.

"Well majority wins here," said Harry," you're outnumbered so we're going to be staying."

Aria snorted and then with a bored expression,"Fine. You kids have you stargazing lessons. I've heard that..."

"Aria," snapped Daisy before Aria could finish her sentence. She didn't usually mind Aria's constant teasing, but today was not a good day for it. Luckily, Aria seemed to have gotten the message sat down next to the sliding doors.

"You two sit down then. We've been standing pretty much all day."

Harry and Daisy sat down beside Aria.

The three of them sat there in silence, soaking in the atmosphere. The stars shone brightly against the dark backdrop of the sky. It was a beautiful sight that could only be seen on rare occasion like this. 

Daisy leaned against the cool glass, soaking in the atmosphere that had gained a calmness that was a strange contrast to the one that was always present while they were working. The wreck of the ship seemed an almost decorative piece in the darkness. It lost its crooked and torn apart shape to resemble a nondescript black blob. 

Daisy thoughts wandered towards the ship and its origins. It had solely been responsible for all the joy and sadness they had experienced over the past few days and yet it stood as mysterious as when it had first arrived, all traces of identification either missing or burnt off.


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Wed Oct 27, 2021 9:52 pm
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MaybeAndrew wrote a review...



Andrew back here for a review. The calmness of this chapter is good, it's definitely going to help us build towards more action, the stargazing seems like a way to recover from the more emotional earlier scenes, I like it.

The one bit of solace was night sky. It was a clear sky and several stars were shining through. Daisy suggested that they all wait an extra fifteen minutes to observe the stars. It had been three years since the three of them had ever gotten a night shift so taking advantage of the opportunity couldn't hurt.

I look at the stars at least once a week but I'm still caught of guard by them every once and a while. I can't imagine what it'd be like not having seen them for three years
Minor idea, it would be cool to talk about what kind of light pollution the aliens are giving off and if any light is shining from the beyond the wall, or any sound in the quite night can be heard, just to give us some hints into whats over there, but idk, you know if there would be so you know better than me.
Daisy thoughts wandered towards the ship and its origins. It had solely been responsible for all the joy and sadness they had experienced over the past few days and yet it stood as mysterious as when it had first arrived, all traces of identification either missing or burnt off.

Interested to see how this plays out.
Thanks, and memento mori,
Andrew




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!



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Sat Sep 18, 2021 12:18 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



 Hi Harry,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

This was really a very very relaxed chapter. I liked it in that sense because it struck that calm tone again, with the swell of where the story is going at the moment. I like that.

I liked that not so much happened in this part and the main focus was more on the characters. I think we've seen enough of what makes them tick and that Harry would rather side with Daisy than Aria.

In general, I liked the tone that was set here, at times I even found it a bit more stormy than now in previous chapters, almost as if it was like a little squabble. I don't know if that was intentional or subconscious, but I thought it was kind of a nice change and also showed that Aria is a lot more bearish when it comes to bedtime.

Some points I noticed while reading:

The shift finally came to an end as it was nearing the middle of night.

Isn´t it called “the middle of the night”?

The lights had also gone out precisely when their shift was supposed to end, forcing them to have to feel around to pack the tools away properly.

You're actually indirectly showing us here that work in general has quite more of a focus on "working" than it does now on "cleaning up five minutes before the end of the shift". That looks a lot like slavery to me.

It was a beautiful sight that could only be seen on rare occasion like this. 

Since this whole part only builds up to the three of them being able to look at the stars for a bit after the shift, I found this highlight of the description a bit meagre. D Maybe you could add some philosophical descriptions or explanations, describe a shooting star or some stars that shone a little brighter, or show star constellations.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D



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Fri Sep 17, 2021 5:22 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

I really liked this part. In moments when they are not attending secret meetings, running from crashing spaceships or repairing the mentioned spaceship, the three of them actually get to be children for a while. I loved the slow, relaxed pace of this part. It matched the mood and the setting very well and I really liked hearing Daisy's musings as they simply sat and enjoyed the night. As they said, moments like these do not come around often, so they should grasp anything they can get their hands on.

I really liked how Daisy and Harry try to get the best out of every situation. They have this common ability to find hope in the darkest of situations, and I think it explains their strong relationship with each other. Aria, on the other hand, is always the pessimist of the group. Still, I appreciate how even she lets go of her logic and reason for the two of them sometimes and just stays with them.

Daisy's ending thoughts about the spaceship made me feel that its role is not yet over in the story. It is still there, waiting for some reveal or the other. It brought on this sense of foreboding in an otherwise calm chapter, and I am really excited to see what happens next.

"We'll be less frustrated," pointed out Daisy, chiming in.

"I will be," replied Aria.

In this part, it sounds like Aria is agreeing with Daisy, which she is not. So I think you should change that sentence somehow to make the meaning clearer.

That's all.

Keep writing and have a great day!




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!



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Fri Sep 17, 2021 4:57 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Three years, no night shift. That just makes me think that they enjoyed a good luck for the last three years if you talk about getting the shifts. On the other hand, as Harry and Daisy mentioned these shifts are also not very bad. They can at least see the nature for some time. Seems like they aren't even allowed to get out of their dwelling place without a reason or maybe only at night. It's a pity for the humans they they are being imprisoned on their own planet. Definitely not a good thing.

Aria doesn't seem to be very immersed in nature and the opposite goes for Daisy and Harry. Something which I think is happening in the chapters is the fact that you are carving out more similarities between Daisy and Harry than Harry and Aria. Obviously I have managed to forget what the similarities were but I do remember that there were many similarities shown between them. On the other hand, Aria is getting lonely if u talk about similarities but I guess she prefers to be herself.

Daisy thoughts wandered towards the ship and its origins.

Daisy's thoughts.

I do have my intuition telling me that the fact that they will be late will cause some trouble. Maybe Mrs. Kane will be waiting for them for something important but it will be unsuccessful for theie unpunctuality. We don't really know.

The ship is obviously mysterious and a lot of events and questions are centered around it. I am quite eager to read a chapter from Harry's POV but I don't guess the next chapter will be from his POV. He will be able to answer some of our questions. The last line was interesting and it makes me think that all has not been destroyed.

Overall, quite a relaxing part.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




HarryHardy says...


Thanks for the review!!!




Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.
— Sylvia Plath