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Survival: The Escape, Chapter 6.1

by HarryHardy


Chapter 6

Why Does the Universe Hate us SO Much?

[Daisy]

The night after Harry's discovery was a sleepless one. Daisy was usually a fairly heavy sleeper but that day she was tossing and turning all night as she could not stop thinking about everything that would happen when the news got out.

She knew that by the next morning the entire camp would have heard about it and at least two or three people would have snuck out and got themselves shot. There was also an escape attempt every time one of these things were found. No one had ever succeeded or survived but that somehow never managed to convince the rest that attempting an escape on a whim like that was never going to be successful.

After a sleepless night, a Daisy that was still in partial zombie mode made her way to the hall hoping against hope that the first thing that she would run into wouldn't be an announcement about more deaths. Luckily for her, the first thing that she saw was a familiar head of messy black hair that brought a smile to her face as it always did.

"Good Morning! You look..." Harry began before trailing off.

"...awful," she offered," you don't have to lie you know."

"Well...um...well," he stuttered.

"It’s okay really. I didn't get much sleep yesterday so I am more of a hot mess than usual today," she said.

"Ohh...why's that?" he asked," I've never known you to lose sleep. You're literally the heaviest sleeper that I know."

"I think all the craziness finally got to me. We get reassigned, a freaking spaceship crashes and now this."

"When you put it that way," said Harry, stroking his chin thoughtfully," that's sounds ridiculous doesn't it?"

"Yup," said Daisy," where's Aria?"

"Oh she'll be here soon. I think Mom wanted to tell her something if I remember correctly."

"Ahh...well we should be leaving soon. With this current schedule we really don't want to run late."

"Yeah," said Harry.

*******

Two hours later, they found themselves hard at work, still chipping away at the larger pieces of the spaceship. So far Harry had managed to restrain themselves from going to check on the door to try and scan for all the weak points that it might have. The plan was to make sure that they worked more on the other side of the spaceship to continue the illusion that they were just following a pattern. While they could easily get away with a hole yesterday, if they didn't pay attention to the other side today, the guards would be suspicious.

By that point, they'd finally finished clearing out that side and Harry was ready to sneak through towards the other side and see what he could find. Daisy was standing near the opening herself, trying to catch a glimpse while Aria stood a bit further off, pretending to be engrossed in work.

She watched as Harry carefully peered at the door while pretending to inspect the engine of the fallen ship. As she watched, Harry stiffened suddenly and his shoulders slumped. That's not a good sign. Harry turned and the look on his face told her all that she needed to know. There was only one thing that could have conjured up the forlorn expression currently on Harry's face. 

He walked over, the spring that had been in his step since yesterday now gone.


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Thu Sep 16, 2021 10:38 am
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

First of all, the title made me smile. Especially the 'so' which was written in uppercase. It feels like something that any teenager stuck in their place would say and the typical exaggeration was quite humorous for me.

So we are in chapter 6 now. To be honest, I though this chapter would follow directly after what Harry had found in the previous one. However, I like the fresh voice of Daisy. She is the only one among them who is probably not as involved or as informed so it is an enjoyable journey to follow her and learn new things as she does. I liked the slow pace of this part and I think this is how you open almost all your chapters. It's a good thing, because almost all your chapters end with a cliffhanger, big or small, and a slow paced chapter beginning gives us time to recover adjust to the new development in the plot.

I really liked the conversation between Harry and Daisy, especially the part where Harry pointed out how ridiculous their situation sounded when said out loud. It made me smile, because with the grumpiness Daisy narrated their life problems at the moment, it did sound a bit ridiculous. I always hang on to these little dialogues because they bring a freshness to the story that no amount of cliffhangers or plot developments could bring.

I am a little curios about Aria in this chapter. I think her staying behind to speak with her mother has some significance to it, but I really cannot be sure about that right now. Then of course, the ending. It was good to not see through Harry's eyes this time, and get the perspective of an observer instead. I wonder what he had discovered that made the spring in his step disappear. Well, I guess I will find out!

Keep writing and have a great day!




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!



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Wed Sep 15, 2021 1:58 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi HarryHardy,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

When you jump into the story with a title like that, you immediately fall into a philosophical corner and find it much more interesting, which always brings it to a point where you have to think for a moment when exactly the question can be answered.

It was a common "introductory chapter". For the beginning for Ch. 6, I found it very enjoyable to get back to Daisy and how her everyday life is now coming back. With the calmness of the story, I also found it like a new start again, which I am very pleased about, as you always build up each chapter like a little climax.

I thought the conversation with Harry was very realistic; I'm a big fan of the dialogue there because it's always so complementary. Aria sometimes seems in between too, but it doesn't seem as "fluid" as it does with these two. I liked that you gave a short insight from the morning before it came to a timeskip with a short summary.

I also enjoyed reading how this chapter opened up with you giving a bit of a recap of what other people did when news of the crash reached their ears. I really like these little bits of info as they bring everything a little more to life.

Two tiny things I found while reading:

a Daisy that was still in partial zombie mode

I can kind of understand that.

," you don't have to lie you know."

I'm not sure, but I think there's a comma after the "to lie".

Have fun writing!

Mailice




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!



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Wed Sep 15, 2021 3:15 am
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey!! Forever here with a tiny review!!

I wonder why they decided to tell the whole camp about their discovery. At least, if I think from Aria's side, shw should have prevented the others from informing the whole camp. At the beginning we saw her being a bit to pessimistic and I don't believe now she has completely changed and taken a 180° turn.

Informing everyone was not at all a genius thing to do because it only resulted in opening the eyes if Aliens and shutting the only chance of discovering the outer world. On the other hand, it did a good job at dhoeing the flaws of the characters which we were missing. I just wonder if anyone has made any attempts to sneak out this time. Seems like they didn't. It's quite a good thing that they didn't. Othereise, they would have been dead.

I wonder about why Mrs. Kane called Aria. It doesn't seem like she called Aria to ask what happened in the place. For that, she could have called Harry because he was the one to see it. Seems interesting. Maybe she has called Aria to do some discussions about something secret or at least that shouldn't be known to Harry. Apparently, it's not a good theory but my brain can't think of something else.

*******

It didn't work in the text. Guess you did it manually again.

Daisy was standing near the opening herself, trying to catch a glimpse while Aria stood a bit further off, pretending to be engrossed in work.

Here, it seems like Aria appeared out of nowhere. Just say when she came there. In the whole chapter, she was not there except that Daisy asked Harry and that proves she was not in the scene. Sometimes, it's good to consider the story as a play and the characters have to enter the stage and say something. Imagine Aria entering the stage and doing work silently and no one noticed her. That doesn't make much sense.
She watched as Harry carefully peered at the door while pretending to inspect the engine of the fallen ship.

Substituting she with Daisy will be better as in the last paragraph last line, there were both Daisy and Aria.
He walked over, the spring that had been in his step since yesterday now gone.

It will be was now gone, I guess.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Hmm....you might surprised about the camp thing by the end of this chapter....

ALso whoops...I forgot again :D

Also yikes, I didn't realize how sudden Aria's arrival is in this one...definitely going to have fix that later. :D

Thanks again!!




Well, the only way to start is by starting
— AvantCoffee