Stanton
stared at Derik with wide eyes then rushed from the room. Derik reached behind
him and slammed the door after Stanton. Then he turned back towards Jerica and
Akeno. He ran a hand through his hair and strode towards her. “Little
prick.”
Jerica
slammed the tin down on the table a bit too hard.
“I
know,” Derik said soothingly. “We’re gonna get you through this… somehow.”
Jerica
crossed her arms, wandering across the room. She leaned against the edge of her
bed, letting it take most of her weight as she turned back towards Derik with a
deep sigh.
Akeno
stood politely in the corner, but took a step forward. “I think this
conversation would be best held without me here. I’ll go get us some food,
Jer.”
“Okay.”
Jerica nodded.
Akeno
left and closed the door after him.
Jerica’s
anger morphed to apprehension. This conversation was inevitable. But she still
dreaded it. There was nothing in life she feared more than disappointing one of
the men she respected. And she respected Derik most of all.
Derik
strode towards her and also leaned against the bed, standing by her side.
Jerica
didn’t look up at him. “Are you mad at me?”
“No.”
His voice was calm.
She
hesitated. That was good at least. But there was a fair bit between not being
mad and actually being on her side. Being okay with who Rek was. “Are you mad
at Rek?”
“No.”
She
hesitated again, still refusing to look at him. “Did you know?”
Derik
was silent for a moment, then he shook his head. “No. I knew he and Nykim spend
a fair bit of time together, but I didn’t realize it was anything more than
friendship.”
That
had been the goal. Not with Derik specifically. But in general. Jerica thought
for a moment. She was still anxious that Derik might be angry with her. But she
couldn’t seem the courage to meet his gaze to find out. “Are you mad we didn’t
tell you?”
Derik
sighed and rubbed his face. “I’m a bit hurt that neither of you felt like you
could tell me… it makes me feel like I have somehow given the impression that
my love for you is conditional, and—”
“No,”
Jerica interrupted. She grabbed his hand, finally looking up to his face. He
took a deep breath and turned his head to meet her gaze. She gave his hand a
squeeze. “No. You are the best father that we—” she coughed, covering
her mistake. “Rek – could ever hope for.”
“I
parented you just as much as I parented Rek,” Derik said, giving her hand a
squeeze in return. “Just because you didn’t have your parents here to
watch you grow up doesn’t mean you didn’t have a father here who loves
you very much.”
Jerica
leaned against his arm and rested her head on his shoulder, leaving her fingers
laced through his. “I love you, too.”
She
still had so many questions about her own parents. Why hadn’t they tried to
find her? Tried to reach out to her? Did they even care about her at all? She
wanted to know. But for now, she just wanted reassured that Derik wasn’t angry
with her. The fact that her parents were alive didn’t change the fact that
Derik was like a father to her. Or that she’d kept this secret from him.
“Did
I overreact about Akeno?” Derik asked. “Is that why Rek didn’t want to tell
me?”
“No.”
Jerica straightened, pulling her hand away. It pained her that Derik seemed to
think it was his fault rather than their fear that kept them from telling him.
“He and Nykim were together before – I mean… No. No, you were an appropriate
level of angry when you figured Akeno and I out.”
It
had taken her a lot of convincing before he believed that her and Akeno’s
arrangement had been her idea, not Akie pressuring her. Most of the men were
terrified of her. But Derik was still overprotective of her when it came to the
soldiers. He’d have had one of his own men executed in an instant if any soldier
so much as laid a finger on her without consent.
“They
were together before you and Akeno were?” Derik asked incredulously. “This has
been happening for over two years and I’m just now finding out about
it?”
Jerica
cringed. She hadn’t meant to tell him that part.
“It’s
okay.” Derik took a deep breath. “I know what was at stake, until you got Levin
to sign that edict. I would probably also keep this secret to myself if I
wasn’t sure how someone would respond to the revelation.”
The
moment of truth. “And… how do you respond?”
“I
don’t care to know about his sex life any more than I care to know about
yours,” he answered. “All I want is for you both to be happy and healthy and
safe… and that is why I’m far more concerned about you than I am him. He
actually wants his marriage.”
She
shrugged, trying to shake away the self-pity that was piling on her shoulders
again. She mourned what would inevitably to happen to her. But she wasn’t
sorry. Rek needed someone to protect him from Levin. That’s why she came back
from Aerik in the first place. At least, why she didn’t argue about it. She was
here to people from Levin’s nastiness. “Rek’s marriage can’t happen without
mine.”
“Only
because Levin decided to be a dick.” Derik sighed.
“In
a shocking turn of events,” she said sarcastically.
There
was a moment of silence between them, before Derik sighed again. He shook his
head. “I can’t fix this one for you, Jer.”
“I
know.” Hopelessness settled in the pit of her stomach. She knew that
Derik couldn’t get her out of this. And if Derik couldn’t then no one could.
She was going to have to lie in the bed that she made. “I’m not asking you to.”
“I’ve
never seen a more selfless act of love.” Derik wrapped his arm around her and
pulled her in for a side-hug. “The fact that you sacrificed your future to save
Rek’s is just… astonishing.”
“You
sacrificed more for me.” Jerica shrugged.
“I
quit a job when my bosses tried to murder my family,” Derik said. “And then
relocated to raise my niece. I didn’t have to consent to spending the rest of
my life with a roach like Stanton Fillmore as my husband.”
‘The
rest of my life’ echoed in her ears. But she shoved it away. Forced herself
to begin bottling up all these nasty emotions. Shoving them down. Replacing
them with a weak attempt at humor. She smirked crookedly at him. “I mean, it’s
never too late. It’s legal now.”
Derik
snorted. There was a brief silence, then, “Darrana?”
Jerica
laughed. “Didn’t want you to think I was serious about that part.”
“I
certainly didn’t.” Derik smiled and shook his head. “You’d have to get knocked
on the head pretty hard to go from nemeses to lovers… although, if this were a
book, it might not be all that out of the question.”
“It’s
out of the question,” Jerica said firmly. “She’s terrible.”
Derik
smirked.
There
was a rap at the door.
Jerica
tensed and inhaled sharply.
Derik
looked down at her, then pursed her lips and looked at the door. He gave her
shoulders a squeeze and then stepped forward. “I’ll get rid of them.”
Appreciation
welled up in Jerica.
Derik
strode forward and opened the door, blocking the room with his body.
Protective.
“Baba!”
Rek gasped. “I…”
Jerica
straightened as she heard Rek’s voice. Her heart fluttered. She hadn’t expected
to have to talk to Rek so soon after the fact. She thought that he’d steep in
his new engagement. Celebrate with Nykim. Not show up on her doorstep while she
was talking to Derik.
Jerica
crossed her arms over her abdomen, protective.
Derik
glanced over his shoulder and raised his eyebrows. A silent question of whether
to let Rek in or not. She nodded. The conversation was inevitable. May as well
get it over with. Even though her emotions still felt so raw.
“C’mon.”
Derik stepped back.
“Baba,
I…” Rek stepped inside the room, turning to keep his gaze on Derik. He
swallowed hard. “I can explain.”
“What’s
there to explain?” Derik asked, turning to shut the door. “You’re in love.”
“I…”
Rek took a shaky breath but nodded. His eyes were wide with fear as he looked
at Derik. “I do love Nykim… and I understand if that’s something that
you can’t—”
“My
love for you doesn’t come with conditions, Rek,” Derik interrupted gently. He
opened his arms invitingly. “I’m happy that you’re happy.”
The
tears in Rek’s eyes dripped down his cheeks as he rushed into Derik’s arms.
Jerica’s
throat constricted again. She blinked away the tears that stung her eyes. She
didn’t want to cry again. Didn’t want to look like she’d been crying when they
went back to the Council Meeting. She swallowed hard, trying to focus on the
wholesomeness of the moment. Rather than the hopelessness of the situation she
was in.
“Jer.”
Jerica
looked up as Rek pulled away from Derik and stepped towards her.
“I’m
sorry.” He wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry.”
“You
haven’t done anything to be sorry for,” Jerica murmured. She’d decided she
liked Aerik’s way of saying that more than just telling Rek not to say sorry.
“I’m
so sorry,” he said again. She could feel him trembling against her body as she
held him tightly. He sniffled in her ear. “Gods, Jer, what did you do? You
shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m
not sorry,” she breathed.
“Yet,”
he scoffed. He pulled away from her and looked down at her, distraught. “I wish
you could take it back. I never meant for this to happen.”
“I
know.” She took a deep breath. “I didn’t either.”
“We’ll
get through this.” Derik stepped forward and hooked his right arm around Jerica
and left around Rek, then pulled them both close. “One way or another.
Together.”
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