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The Night's Cradle

by Rodionandaxe


The night she stood in front of me

cloaked in her dark shawl.

Shimmered she did though shyly,

but looked very confident and tall.



"Come child don't hurt me so.

Don't look me with those eyes."

"That shine you reserve for day

Give me your sleepy smile."



I did as she bid 

or I think at least I tried.

For she took me in her arms

And sung me her lullabies.


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79 Reviews


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Fri Sep 17, 2021 6:44 pm
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waywardxwallflower wrote a review...



Hello! Wallflower here with a quick review (:

This is a lovely poem, made all the more powerful by its briefness.

The night she stood in front of me


Here, you could add a comma after "night": that would help the pacing and indicate that it's the Night Herself talking to you, not just a night on which a woman talked to you.

Don't look me with those eyes."

"That shine you reserve for day


Here, you don't need the quotes in between "eyes" and "That", as it's a single quote.

Overall, this covers a subject I think many of us on this website can relate to in a lovely way. Personification is such a lovely literary device, and you've used it wonderfully. This is a calming and wonderful poem. Great job!

Keep writing.




Rodionandaxe says...


Thanks for the review Wallflower <3



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Thu Jul 29, 2021 2:49 am
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HikariHateke wrote a review...



Oh i loved this!

The way you portrayed the night was just so '👌' us know?


' The night she stood in front of me

cloaked in her dark shawl.

Shimmered she did though shyly,

but looked very confident and tall. '

Oh that have me chills (but in a good way) firstly shy and confidant can and should coexist so thank you!

And also I like how it showed that she was confident in her abilities but shy of others (at least that's what I hope your going for)

It also made me think about what the other entities are like, the sun and ocean and perhaps the Forrest or something, I think it'd make an interesting story.

' I did as she bid

or I think at least I tried.

For she took me in her arms

And sung me her lullabies. '

Oh that made me feel warm, like a cup of hot chocolate!

You did great!!!!




Rodionandaxe says...


Thanks a lot for the review. I am happy you enjoyed it :)



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Tue Jul 27, 2021 12:58 am
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tweezers wrote a review...



Hello hello hello~

So, I really liked this. I enjoy poems that are more dramatic in tone in general I guess, and that leads into a lot on how I feel about certain ideas and certain atmospheres being created. Within these more fantasy poems, there's always going to be some kind of character made with the intent of personifying some kind of thing, whether it be an actual solid idea like the night shown here, or something like the emotion of anger, love, etc.

Let's look at the figure of the night here. In some cultures, the night is shown as a more masculine figure compared to the sun, and because of that, there's commonly a more angry and generally "evil" approach to how they associate with it. Well, there is some truth to that idea when you look at it from the angle of crimes and commit such acts, but there's also more when you look at the way it's compared to the sun.

However, I really like what you did here. The night is one of the more calm times of day in my opinion, and the lines such as "For she took me in her arms" and "Come child don't hurt me so." further my thoughts on that. I see that there's some kind of motherly connection that the night and the narrator have, which is really soothing to me. The rhyming in the first stanza also kind of pushes a similar emotion as well.

I do see some kind of eerie vibes though, with the "Give me your sleepy smile" part? It feels kind of like one of those tales that have an old lady try to steal a young kid's soul or something like Hansel and Gretel with the "luring small children" aesthetic. I'm not at all saying that's a bad thing because it's really interesting to play around with in a narrative like this one here, but it was a little too abrupt for me.

Overall, really nice poem! Nice work!




Rodionandaxe says...


Thanks a lot for the review <3
It was really pleasant to know how you felt about it. I am also glad you understood the motherly connection between the narrator and the night.



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Mon Jul 26, 2021 5:51 pm
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FourLeafClover wrote a review...



Hey there! I'm here to review your poem!

Three pros:
1. This was a very unique idea, having Night sing somebody a lullaby. It immediately made me interested, which is good, since having an interested reader makes the reader enjoy it more (in my experience).
2. There weren't any spelling mistakes!!! This made me really happy because I hate spelling mistakes and get really frustrated when (especially) I or (sometimes) another person make them. It also makes a lot of people pay more attention to the mistakes instead of the actual story, so it's good that you don't have any of those mistakes that would distract from the poem.
3. I also liked how it didn't always rhyme. Some people are like "no you idiots poems and songs have to rhyme," so I appreciate that you proved them wrong by not having everything rhyme. Thanks for that.

The con:
I noticed that some of the lines didn't really flow together that well. Here's one example in this stanza:

"Come child don't hurt me so.
Don't look me with those eyes."
"That shine you reserve for day
Give me your sleepy smile."she said.

I feel like this would flow better if it was:
"Come, child, don't hurt me so
Don't look me with those eyes.
The shine you reserve for day
Give me your sleepy smile."


Only use what I've suggested if you feel like it will help you and if you want to. I won't force you to use it.

Thanks for reading!




Rodionandaxe says...


Thank you so much for the review Clover. To be honest I tried real hard to rhyme it but the result was not satisfactory, I am happy you look at it as a positive though, its very encouraging.

I too felt that the second stanza wasn't flowing that well but I was hesitant of removing "she said" in case it was confusing for the reader to understand who the speaker was. Now that I think about it the last stanza kinda makes it clear who the speaker is, so thanks a bunch for the suggestion. <3




"You're wrong about humanity. They are your greatest creation because they're better than you are. Sure, they're weak, and they cheat and steal and destroy and disappoint, but they also give and create, and they sing and dance and love. Above all, they never give up."
— Metatron