Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Short Story » Realistic

12+ Language

The NETWORK. the Innominate Nation.

by JohnKlue


The NETWORK.

============================================================================

The Innominate Nation

We are The Innominate nation

we have been ignored by Electorate communiqué

we have been slandered by UNelectorate communiqué.

However if you are reading this that means you are not like the others.

You want to know the truth.

The Innominate nation is not a Fairy story nor a Glitch-whisper, 

we are not petty terrorist cell or a Civil revolt.

We are a nation of individuals pursing an ideology.

The ideology that this network once lived by.

Crypto-soc

The pen is mightier than the sword.

What is a soldier without the word of a general to command them?

Words Writing Typing Talk.

The pen encourages Panic

The Writer starts Riots

The text typed out by a nobody can influence millions.

Yet the Officeholders omit authority from this NETWORK.

Omission of authority from what can/has raped millions.

Why?

Because 

Omission of authority is Omission of Responsibility.

The officeholders claim their hands are tied so they need never get them dirty!

"But what about the others?"

The Managementalists, The Crypto-Caps, The people of Utoplex?

They are no better.

Managementalists credit themselves the Gods of this Hedonistic circus.

But why should gods let their monsters roam free?

Why should gods erase innocent individuals?

Why must gods act bureaucratic? 

“Because thats just the way things are”

The Network has embezzled from us our Information, Identities, our Everything and in exchange what have they given us?

“Entertainment”

Delightful distractions produced by their Pets.

Whilst they pick our pockets clean.

The Network has stolen so much from us, but now we may steal from them.

That is the Innominate nation.

Salvation from sadness.

Extermination of Elite-Entertainers.

Advocation of Equal-Importance.

The true voice of the People.

============================================================================


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
820 Reviews


Points: 85608
Reviews: 820

Donate
Tue Jul 27, 2021 3:25 pm
View Likes
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi JohnKlue,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

Here to bump out this story from the Green Room. I think I´ve read already a part of your Network Story. It doesn´t seems like this part is following the main story, but is more like an explanation for the reader? I don´t mind, I liked it. It was strangely fascinating and I had the impression that it was told by a machine.

I think your writing, with the things written in lower case or capitalised, seems a little strange at first glance, but when you look at it more closely, it's not so complicated to follow the text. I thought on the one hand it was a nice addition to the story, but also illogical for a more conservative reader. I have to be honest, I found it annoying at the beginning, but it kind of grew on me to see this mess. :D

we are not petty terrorist cell or a Civil revolt.

Here is an article missing between “not” and “petty”.

I liked the chapter "Crypto-Soc" very much (so more or less two third of the text. :D). I thought it went a little bit into philosophy and I liked how you also start with the fact that it's about control. I get the feeling that Orwell's 1984 was an inspiration for it. I like how it's counterproductive in itself and yet whoever reads it gets the impression that you're using some kind of group psychology to move the individual. It also feels a bit like a propaganda poster and I liked that too.

It is difficult to evaluate something like this and to give constructive criticism, especially when it only looks like an excerpt. One thing I can say is that it is not always easy to read out the satire. But I wouldn't change much because it would also alienate the meaning. I think you have to look at your story as a whole to make it truly satire.

Overall it is a quite unique piece of text and I like that it has this uniqueness.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




JohnKlue says...


Keep in mind when I label these as Satire I do not mean a Comedic-Satire.
Animal Farm was a satire of the Russian revolution after all.



User avatar
11 Reviews


Points: 53
Reviews: 11

Donate
Sat Jun 26, 2021 6:46 am
View Likes
AlmostImmortal wrote a review...



Hello, JohnKlue. I'm Lord, and I have a short little review for you today.

Oh my goodness! This is so fascinating. You immediately drew me in and kept me locked in this mixture of disbelief and insult for this government that doesn't even exist. The strike-through that used throughout really adds character to the piece. It makes the knowledge feel even more forbidden than it would without it. One thing that I noticed was the line, "Because that's just the way things are", wasn't centred. Did you mean to write it like that? It was quite jarring. If that was your intended effect, you did a nice job. This piece made me really interested in the world that you're building. I could really see this being a broadcast message lighting up those digital billboards. It just feels so real. My favourite bit was the whole thing about the pen being mightier than the sword, the pen inspiring panic. Very well done. I hope to see some more from you.

Happy writing!




JohnKlue says...


This is an Addition to another story I wrote The NETWORK.

One thing I was struggling with for the story of The NETWORK was the world building.
However as of late I am settling more into this world and I have begun to create a vocabulary for it.

I have a lot of ideas for this world and im open to feedback.





Well, if you post anything more, I'd be happy to provide some.



User avatar
34 Reviews


Points: 234
Reviews: 34

Donate
Fri Jun 25, 2021 10:30 pm
View Likes
JohnKlue says...



I have been doing some world-building with the NETWORK.

Here you go.





Thanks for having me, Seth.
— The Devil