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Pride Month: Definitions and Explanations for (Almost) Everything!

by winterwolf0100


Warning: This piece includes mentions of things such as sex and primary sex traits. While nothing is described in detail, it is impossible to go over sexual orientations and certain gender identities without identifying these things, so if these make you uncomfortable, please do not read! I would also appreciate if people avoided reviewing this just for the points because I want as many people as possible to get the chance to see it!

And now, without further ado...

 

Pride Month: Definitions and Explanations for (Almost) Everything!

  

I've noticed that a lot of identities and sexual orientations are glossed over, so I decided to make an easy list with definitions for people, along with the date they're celebrated during pride month! (Warning: this is not an exclusive list, and it is very probable I have missed certain identities and/or sexualities. This does not mean they are any less valid!)

  

First off, let's start with three definitions:

Sexual Orientation-- who you love sexually

Romantic Orientation-- who you love romantically

Gender-- who you are

These three are very different. Who you are (your gender) is not affected whatsoever by who you love. The difference between sexual and romantic orientation is a little trickier to figure out. For most people, it's the same. However, for some people, they may be interested in having sex with one gender but are interested in being romantically involved (which includes kissing, cuddling, and dating) another. Some aren't interested in sex at all, and some aren't interested in romantic involvement at all.

  

~~~~~Please keep in mind that race, biological sex, religion, and upbringing have NO affect on a person's true gender or orientation, nor does a person's gender, sexual orientation, or romantic orientation dictate or determine whatever sexual/romantic life they may have or if they are interested in one. It's good to always keep an open mind about any identities, sexual orientations, or romantic orientations that may differ from your own.~~~~~

  

Additional terms:

AFAB-- Assigned Female At Birth (a person who is AFAB is AFAB regardless of their gender)

AMAB-- Assigned Male At Birth (a person who is AMAB is AMAB regardless of their gender)

Transgender-- Someone who identifies as any gender (or lack thereof) other than what was assigned at birth.

Androgynous-- A physical appearance of looking gender-neutral.

Dead name-- A name given at birth that a person no longer identifies as.

Dysphoria-- Discomfort with one’s sexual organs, voice, or traits generally associated with their gender assigned at birth. This can be social discomfort with pronouns, a dead name, and can also be physical. Dysphoria is generally associated with any trans individuals, but not all trans individuals need to have dysphoria to be valid in their identity.

  

I have separated all the terms below into the categories of sexual orientation, romantic orientation, and gender. Enjoy!

  

SEXUAL ORIENTATIONS:

  

June 1st: Gay-- Someone who is sexually attracted to a person of the same gender as them; this is generally used in reference to men who love other men, but some women choose to identify as 'gay' rather than 'lesbian', so it is a general term. In recent years, 'gay' has also been used as an overall term within the LGBTQ+ community to describe someone who is not heterosexual.

Example: Gay boys drinking iced coffee in the winter is the equivalent of straight boys wearing shorts in the winter.

  

June 2nd: Lesbian-- A woman who is sexually attracted to other women. Unlike the term 'gay', 'lesbian' is explicitly used in reference to women who love women. 'Lesbian’ is often used as a noun rather than an adjective like 'gay'.

Example: Those two lesbians moved in together after knowing each other for two weeks, and are now planning their wedding.

  

June 3rd: Bisexual-- Someone who is sexually attracted to two genders, usually both socially constructed genders (male and female). This term can be applied to anyone who loves two genders, but is usually used for those attracted to men and women. It is important to understand that many people who use the label bisexual are still attracted to those who fall under the nonbinary umbrella. This is because pansexual and omnisexual, terms for attraction to multiple genders, are newer terms. Bisexual is often used to mean the same thing by millenials and people older than them. 'Bisexual' is used as an adjective, like 'gay'. It is important to distinguish that a person is still bisexual, even if dating someone of the opposite gender or the same gender. Dating someone of the same gender does not make them 'gay', nor does dating someone of the opposite gender make them 'straight'. They are not 'half-straight half-gay' or confused either, and both accusations are very offensive to bisexual individuals.

Example: That bisexual woman is not more untrustworthy or more likely to cheat because she is bisexual, and it would be rude to suggest that.

  

June 4th: Polysexual-- An individual who is attracted to multiple genders but not all. Polysexual is used as an adjective, much like the term 'gay'. Although this is similar to bisexual, pansexual, or omnisexual individuals, there is an important distinction.

Example: My polysexual friend is attracted to men and agender individuals, but he is not attracted to women or other genders, and that is completely okay!

  

June 5th: Pansexual-- Someone who is attracted to every gender, regardless of gender. The term 'pansexual' is used as in adjective. Pansexual is very easily confused with omnisexual, but the main difference is that pansexual individuals are attracted regardless of gender, which means they fall in love with personalities and may not have a preference towards a certain gender. This does not mean they are attracted to everyone, just that they have the possibility to be attracted to people regardless of gender.

Example: A girl I know is pansexual, and in the past, she's has girlfriends, boyfriends, and nonbinary partners, and she doesn't care about genders when it comes to who she likes and loves; she also hates the joke that she's attracted to pans because it got old after the 500th time she heard it, and she would urge people to stop saying it because they really aren't funny.

  

June 6th: Omnisexual-- An individual who is attracted to every gender who keeps gender in mind. This may mean the individual has preferences towards a specific gender, even if they are attracted to all genders. 'Omnisexual' is used as an adjective, similar to 'pansexual' with which it is often confused.

Example: The omnisexual man I went on a date with said he had a preference towards women and most of his crushes are on women, but he is attracted to all genders even if he is mostly attracted to women, and he told me he would really like for the term omnisexual to get more representation than it normally does.

  

June 7th: Ceterosexual-- Ceterosexual people are usually nonbinary individuals attracted solely to other nonbinary individuals. There is a bit of a debate within the community whether the term 'ceterosexual' can be used to describe a binary individual (male or female) who is solely attracted to nonbinary people. In general, it should only be used to describe a nonbinary person who is attracted to nonbinary people, unless you are nonbinary and believe it is okay to describe a male or female person as ceterosexual.The term for this used to be 'skoliosexual' but that term is outdated and most ceterosexual individuals prefer 'ceterosexual' over 'skoliosexual'. Like 'gay', 'ceterosexual' is used as an adjective within sentences.

Example: My nonbinary friend is ceterosexual, and they want to date another nonbinary person, which they are having a hard time with because of the conservative town they live in.

  

June 8th: Demisexual-- Demisexual individuals feel little to no sexual attraction to someone unless they already feel very close to them, possibly in a romantic sense. It can also be paired with other sexual orientations, such as demiomnisexual or demibisexual, which would mean they have sexual attraction to people they are close with of all genders and of both binary genders (respectively). Alone, the term may describe someone who has attraction to the opposite gender (heterosexuality) but they won't feel sexual attraction to them unless they feel close to the person. A person who is demisexual may find a person attractive but have no desire to have sex with them unless they felt close to them, and the term 'demisexual' is used as an adjective.

Example: The man was demisexual, and he would never want to have sex with someone unless he was very close emotionally to the person; while his parents thought he was saving it for the right person, he also didn't feel close enough to someone to find the idea of sex with them appealing.

  

June 9th: Grey-Ace/Grey Asexual-- Someone who doesn't have sexual attraction most of the time, but may on occasion feel sexual attraction to someone. The term can also be paired with other sexual orientations, such as grey-ace pansexual or grey-ace ceterosexual. Alone, the term can describe someone who has attraction to the opposite gender (heterosexuality) but the attraction is rare. 'Grey-Ace' is a more laid-back term for 'grey asexual', and both are used as adjectives.

Example: My friend's grey asexual boyfriend said he was interested in taking it a step further with him, which surprised him because he hadn't been sure if his boyfriend felt more than romantic attraction towards him.

  

June 10th: Asexual-- A person who doesn't experience sexual attraction at all. This does not mean they don't enjoy sex, are repulsed by it, or are uninterested in it, just that they don't experience sexual attraction. Asexuality is largely a spectrum; some asexual people do not seek out sex, but will have it for the romantic intimacy. Others will have sex because their partner wants it and will enjoy it while they do, but will not seek it out themselves. Others are repulsed by sexual activity and want nothing to do with it. Being asexual also does not affect whether or not a person is interested in a romantic relationship or affect their romantic orientation. The term ‘asexual’ is an adjective.

Example: Asexual people would like people to know that saying "you just haven't found the right person yet!" is insulting and makes the speaker seem like they are against the idea that a person knows their own sexuality better than those around them, and could easily be compared to telling a straight woman/man they just haven't met the right woman/man yet.

  

June 11th: Polyamorous-- Someone who loves multiple people and may be in multiple consensual relationships, with all parties knowing about the others and often all being in relationships with another. It is important to emphasize polyamorous relationships are consensual. Everyone in a polyamorous relationship knows about the other partners and is also romantically or sexually active with them. (This is not the same as open-ended relationships!) 'Polyamorous' is used as an adjective.

Example: If two men are both in a relationship with a woman and with each other and it is consensual, it isn't the woman cheating, nor is it any of them being a whore; being polyamorous is a sexuality, not a scandalous act, and everyone should feel free to love who they love freely, even if it is multiple people.

   

GENDER IDENTITIES:

   

June 12th: Intersex-- A person who was biologically born with both male and female chromosomes. In some cases it affects only inner organs, and for others, it may be noticeable through secondary and primary sex organs. When intersex children are born, some parents choose one gender and refer to their child that way, or force their child to choose one gender or the other. In many of these cases, the children grow up to be trans or choose to identify openly as intersex rather than male or female. Intersex is the only gender identity an individual CANNOT choose. They must be born as intersex. 'Intersex' is used as an adjective within sentences.

Example: A family friend just gave birth to an intersex baby and she decided to raise the baby gender-neutrally until the baby was old enough to choose what pronouns they felt most represented them.

 

June 13th: Male-To-Female-- A person who identifies as a woman and, in most cases, uses she/her pronouns, but was born with male or intersex biology. Many male-to-female trans individuals undergo surgeries in order to physically look like the gender they identify as and go on a hormone supplement called estrogen, which is the hormone found within biological women; however, an individual who hasn't undergone surgeries, started hormones, or dresses neutrally or masculinely is still a woman, and people should always respect a person's chosen pronouns and name. Male-to-female individuals may wear bras and stuff them so they give off the appearance of a chest and may do a practice called ‘tucking’ which makes their male sexual organs less noticeable before they get surgery, both of which are completely okay practices as long as they are done safely. The term 'male-to-female' is used as an adjective, and someone who is male-to-female may simply identify themselves as transgender or a transgender woman rather than male-to-female transgender, assuming you will work out that they are male-to-female on your own. (MTF is the short-hand term for Male-To-Female.)

Example: A woman I work with told me she is male-to-female transgender but not out, and I felt very honored that she felt comfortable enough with me to express her true identity; I asked about pronouns and her name immediately because the first thing you should do when a friend comes out to you as transgender is ask about their pronouns and new chosen name if they want to change their current one, and even though sometimes it's hard for me to remember to refer to her by the new name and pronouns, I know how uncomfortable I would be with the wrong pronouns being used about me, which helps me remember.

 

June 14th: Female-To-Male-- A person who identifies as a man and, in most cases, uses he/him pronouns, but was born with female or intersex biology. Many female-to-male trans individuals undergo surgeries in order to physically look like the gender they identify as and go on a hormone supplement called testosterone, which is the hormone found within biological men; however, an individual who hasn't undergone surgeries, started hormones, or dresses neutrally or femininely is still a man, and people should always respect a person's chosen pronouns and name. Female-to-male individuals may use a piece of clothing called a binder to make their chest less noticeable and may use a packer, which makes it appear as if they have male sexual organs, both of which are completely okay practices as long as they are done safely. The term 'female-to-male' is used as an adjective, and someone who is female-to-male may simply identify themselves as transgender or a transgender man rather than female-to-male transgender, assuming you will work out that they are female-to-male on your own. (FTM is the short-hand term for Female-To-Male).

Example: One of my best friends is dating a female-to-male trans boy, and she's made it very clear to her parents that being attracted to a trans boy does not make a girl gay or lesbian in any way, since the boy identifies as male; even if he still has female anatomy, (which you should NEVER ask a trans person about), he presents himself to the world as male, and therefore, it is completely normal for a girl who considers herself straight to be attracted to him.

 

June 15th: Agender-- A person who identifies as agender simply means that they have no gender. A person who is agender may use they/them pronouns or may choose not to use any pronouns at all. An agender person may use methods such as binding, tucking, stuffing, or packing to appear more androgynous depending on their sex assigned at birth. While many agender people may want to appear androgynous, they may also dress femininely or masculinely, which does not discredit or go against their identity in any way. The term ‘agender’ is an adjective.

Example: My agender partner doesn’t like to use any pronouns, so whenever I’m referring to Jax, I always use Jax’s name instead of pronouns.

 

June 16th: Genderfluid-- A person who identifies as genderfluid has a gender that fluctuates. This means they go through stages of being a man, a woman, and sometimes in-between. Stages can last for as long as weeks or months or as little as minutes or hours, and it depends on the individual for how often it changes. Genderfluid individuals will often use varying pronouns based on how they are feeling, such as he/him when they are feeling masculine, she/her when they are feeling feminine, and they/them when they are feeling in-between and/or nonbinary. Some genderfluid individuals will also use they/them and allow people to judge their pronouns based on what they are wearing, but not all genderfluid individuals want this. Genderfluid individuals may use methods such as binding, packing, tucking, or stuffing to appear more androgynous, feminine, or masculine, but genderfluid people do not need to appear androgynous in order to be genderfluid, nor do they need to dress femininely/masculinely to use she/her or he/him pronouns. Genderfluid falls under the category of trans and nonbinary, so genderfluid individuals may introduce themselves as trans and/or nonbinary. The term ‘genderfluid’ is an adjective.

Example: Because genderfluid people don’t choose when their gender shifts, it can be very uncomfortable if they are in public in it does; my older sibling was once in a dress at a party when they felt their gender shift from female to male, and they were uncomfortable the rest of the night!

 

June 17th: Bigender-- A person who identifies as bigender is someone who has two genders and often feels them at the same time. The difference between being genderfluid and bigender is that bigender individuals feel the identities at the same time. Bigender individuals may use multiple sets of pronouns interchangeably, and may introduce their pronouns as she/they, he/they, or she/he. Bigender people may also introduce themselves as trans or nonbinary because the term falls under both of those umbrellas. Bigender individuals may use methods such as binding, packing, tucking, or stuffing to appear more androgynous, feminine, or masculine, but bigender people do not need to appear androgynous, feminine, or masculine in order to fit their identity. The term ‘bigender’ is an adjective.

Example: My favorite YouTuber is bigender and uses he/they pronouns, so when I comment on his videos, I try to switch up their pronouns so they know I’m acknowledging his pronouns.

 

June 18th: Trigender-- A person who identifies as trigender is someone who has three genders and often feels them at the same time. The difference between being genderfluid and trigender is that trigender individuals feel the identities at the same time. Trigender individuals may use multiple sets of pronouns interchangeably, and may introduce their pronouns as he/she/they. Trigender people may also introduce themselves as trans or nonbinary because the term falls under both of those umbrellas. Trigender individuals may use methods such as binding, packing, tucking, or stuffing to appear more androgynous, feminine, or masculine, but trigender people do not need to appear androgynous, feminine, or masculine in order to fit their identity. The term ‘trigender’ is an adjective.

Example: My friend’s partner is trigender and loves to dress up in dresses and suits, so my friend is going to take them to a charity ball being held downtown tonight as a surprise!

 

June 19th: Pangender-- A person who identifies as pangender can experience all the genders of their own culture. A person who is pangender can also identify as genderfluid, and their gender can fluctuate but they always have the capability to be all genders, sometimes multiple at once. The term ‘pangender’ is an adjective.

Example: My sister has a friend from college who is Native American who identifies as pangender and two-spirit; only native American individuals can identify as two-spirit, and since they are pangender, they also encompass the two-spirit identity.

 

June 20th: Genderqueer-- A person who identifies as genderqueer is anyone who falls under the trans nonbinary umbrella. A person who is genderqueer may still be figuring out a more specific label or they may have landed on genderqueer as the right label for them. The term ‘genderqueer’ is an adjective.

Example: While my sibling is AMAB, they identify as genderqueer and use they/them pronouns.

 

June 21st: Demigirl-- A person who identifies as demigirl is usually in-between identifying as nonbinary and female. This means that they feel in the middle of these two or feel they encompass both to a certain extent. Most people who use the label demigirl use the pronouns she/her and they/them. The term ‘demigirl’ is a noun.

Example: When my family went to the zoo, one of the workers had a clip on that said she/they pronouns, and when I asked them about it, she said she was a demigirl.

 

June 22nd: Demiboy-- A person who identifies as demiboy is usually in-between identifying as nonbinary and male. This means that they feel in the middle of these two or feel they encompass both to a certain extent. Most people who use the label demiboy use the pronouns he/him and they/them. The term ‘demiboy’ is a noun.

Example: At the convention, I got to talk to my favorite comic book author about his characters and how I always thought of one of them as a demiboy; he said that though that hadn’t been the intent, he could certainly see it making sense since the character liked they/them pronouns and he/him pronouns.

 

June 23rd: Androgyne-- A person who identifies as androyne is someone who presents themselves androgynously and usually identifies as in the middle of male and female. Androgyne people usually use they/them pronouns. The term ‘androgyne’ is an adjective.

Example: My child came out to me recently as androgyne, and I offered to drive them to the mall to pick out some more androgynous formal attire because all they have currently are dresses.

 

June 24th: Intergender-- A person who identifies as intergender is an intersex individual who feels they do not fit exclusively in the male or female categories. This identity is exclusive to intersex individuals and cannot be used by people who are AFAB or AMAB. It is the nonbinary equivalent for intersex individuals, but many intersex individuals may also choose to use labels such as nonbinary rather than intergender. Intergender individuals usually choose to use they/them pronouns most of the time, but they may also want to use she/he pronouns. The term ‘intergender’ is an adjective.

Example: My intersex sibling also identifies as intergender because they don’t feel like they are solely male or female.

 

June 25th: Nonbinary-- A person who identifies as nonbinary identifies as neither male nor female. Nonbinary is also an umbrella term for any identity that doesn’t fall under male or female, but many people simply identify as nonbinary, whether because they feel the label suits them or because they are still looking in-depth into other terms that might suit them better. Nonbinary individuals mainly use they/them pronouns, and some may dress androgynously but it is not needed in order to be nonbinary. A nonbinary person may use methods such as binding, tucking, stuffing, or packing to appear more androgynous depending on their sex assigned at birth, but others may lean heavily into feminine or masculine clothing or styles. The term ‘nonbinary’ is an adjective.

Example: They told me that nonbinary people don’t exist, but I found this thing in my closet that likes bread and identifies as nonbinary, so now I’m really not sure what to think.

 

June 26th: Questioning-- A person who is questioning is a person in the middle of figuring out who they are. They may not know their sexual orientation, their romantic orientation, or their gender, and they are in the process of looking through identities to find the one that fits them best. Questioning is a temporary identity place-holder to let people know that you are in the LGBTQ+ community but unsure as of yet what term you are going to want to use. Questioning individuals can use all pronouns. Questioning does not fit exclusively in the gender category but because of the day it is typically celebrated on, I have placed it here to avoid confusion. The term ‘Questioning’ is a verb or adjective.

Example: Since my brother is questioning his sexuality, I suggested he go to his school’s Gay Straight Allies meeting to meet other people who may be figuring themselves out at his age too.

 

ROMANTIC ORIENTATIONS:

 

June 27th: Homoromantic-- Someone who is romantically attracted to people of the same gender. Someone who is homoromantic may pair this with any sexual identity, such as being pansexual homoromantic. This would mean that while they are attracted sexually to every gender, they are only interested in a romantic relationship with people of the same gender as them. The term 'homoromantic' is an adjective. 

Example: My girlfriend is asexual and not interested in any sexual activity, but she's homoromantic so she dates women.

 

June 28th: Biromantic-- Someone who is romantically attracted to two genders, usually men and women. Biromantic people can still be attracted to people who fall under the nonbinary umbrella, and the same rules of bisexuality in regards to the validity of their sexuality regardless of who they are dating applies to biromantic people. Biromantic people can pair this with any sexual identity, such as being grey-ace biromantic. This would mean that while they rarely feel sexual attraction unless they are close to the person, they are romantically attracted to people of two genders. The term ‘biromantic’ is an adjective.

Example: My friend is heterosexual and biromantic, so while she is only sexually interested in men, she dates both men and women.

 

June 29th: Panromantic-- Someone who is romantically attracted to all genders without preference. This does not mean they are attracted to every individual, just that they have the possibility of being attracted to a person regardless of their gender. The term ‘panromantic’ is an adjective.

Example: While they are panromantic and date people regardless of gender, they are omnisexual and are not sexually attracted to men.

 

June 30th: Aromantic-- A person who doesn't experience romantic attraction at all. This does not mean they don't enjoy being in a relationship, are repulsed by it, or are uninterested in it, just that they don't experience romantic attraction or experience little romantic attraction. Aromanticism is largely a spectrum; some aromantic people do not seek out romantic relationships, but will still engage in romantic intimacy. Others will do things such as kissing because their partner wants it and will enjoy it while they do, but will not seek it out themselves. Others are repulsed by romantic activity and want nothing to do with it. Being aromantic also does not affect whether or not a person is interested in a sexual relationship or affect their sexual orientation. The term ‘aromantic’ is an adjective.

Example: Even though she is pansexual and frequently has one-night stands, she is aromantic and has no interest in a long-term romantic relationship with anyone.

 

Please understand: 

This is not a complete list of all the gender identities, sexualities, or romantic attractions that are out there. If none of these terms fit you, there is one out there for you. Many people who feel there are no terms that fit them simply identify as gay (if it is in regards to their sexuality or romantic attraction), as genderqueer (if it is in regards to their gender), or as queer (if it is in regards to any of those categories). This is by no means an all-inclusive list, and though I attempted to be comprehensive, there are no doubt mistakes within the list above. I hope this list can be the start of understanding yourself and those around you. 

 

If you’d like to do more in-depth research on any of the above identities, I would recommend Queer Undefined, a website where people can submit their personal definitions of terms. (Think of it as the Urban Dictionary of the LGBTQ+ community!) If you yourself are questioning, please feel free to PM me personally or to take a look at our LGBTQ+ club right here on YWS! (Hint: You'll find it under the Clubs tab!)

For now, please remember: stay safe, stay strong, and stay proud.

Happy Pride Month!


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Sun Jun 27, 2021 9:00 pm
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BrumalHunter wrote a review...



Salutations, Winter!

I heard you'd made a list of definitions for Pride Month, so I thought I'd check it out. It's quite comprehensive, so well done! You definitely have reason to be proud. ;P

In any case, I decided to leave a review in support! There are several things I'd like to praise, and also a few critiques I'd like to make, so let's get to it! :D


Firstly, I enjoy the title! It's catchy and conveys the comprehensiveness of the list while still acknowledging that writing an essay covering every existing gender, sexuality, and so on would be… tough. You've also included a disclaimer that explicitly states this, which is good — one can't always expect people to grasp implicit meanings, even if they're not particularly subtle. And the warning you attached at the top is also a good idea, since we never know what might trigger a response from people, innocuous as something might be.

The three starting definitions are easy to understand, and I feel your accompanying description expands on them well enough without oversimplifying. I would personally hesitate to describe sexuality as whom you "love" sexually, since the word has so many connotations: on the one hand, it's chiefly associated with romantic orientation, but on the other, there exists an erroneous yet prevalent thought that sex is the ultimate expression of love. Nevertheless, that's simply my preference, and it's somewhat technical to boot. As I said, you brought your point across without confusion, which is the real focus here.

The list of additional terms has a reasonable length. All of the definitions provided in it are certainly useful for understanding the bulk of the essay, and all of them seem perfectly accurate. As a matter of fact, I'd always thought of androgyny and genderneutrality as different things. I'm… not quite sure why? After all, genderneutrality falls in the middle of the binary spectrum, and since androgyny entails having both masculine and feminine physical characteristics, it should be obvious that the two terms describe the same thing. An andrygynosexual friend of mine confirmed this, so thanks for that! It's definitely something I'll keep in mind in future. :D

Hmm, come to think of it, that brings another distinction to mind: male/female vs masculine/feminine. The first pair refers to biological sex and/or gender, depending on the person speaking, whereas the latter refers to gender expression/presentation. Naturally, the two pairs show correlation in terms of societal expectation, but are ultimately independent. It's not essential to add this in your essay, naturally — I think it's sufficiently clear as it is — but it's always good to keep in mind for future explanations, should you ever wish to revisit this essay or write another one.


I'll break the following three sections of the essay into subsections for this review too, just because I write long-ish paragraphs and it'll be easier for you to read that way. …Actually, I'll add headings too.


Sexual orientation

1. Gay
2. Lesbian
3. Bisexual
4. Polysexual
5. Pansexual
6. Omnisexual
7. Ceterosexual
8. Demisexual
9. Grey-Asexual
10. Asexual
11. Polyamorous

This list is just so I can check things more easily. I'll leave it in the review for ease of reference.

I initially wondered whether it was necessary to split "gay" and "lesbian", as opposed to having an item called "homosexual", but after reading your descriptions, and afterwards considering what I know of the community, I think you did the right thing! I wouldn't use gay as a term to describe all members of the community, but I've certainly heard people say something like "that's so gay" — not in a demeaning or offensive way — so it's a very good thing to point out. Gay and lesbian representation also have their own challenges, so the split is valid in that sense too.

Oh, and I liked how you emphasised the one is an adjective and the other (mostly) a noun! You do this throughout the essay, which is not only good for consistency (and I'm a sucker for consistency and uniformity of formatting), but also for clarity! Anyone reading this list shouldn't have difficulty afterwards knowing when to use a certain term. :)

This will be somewhat of a controversial opinion, but hey, opinions don't have to be the same, as long as everyone is respectful! So, regarding bisexuality, I've seen and heard that some people don't like it when bisexuality is defined as having a preference for two genders — such as fortis' review below! However, and this is where the controversy could come in, I don't personally agree with that. I like how you mentioned that older individuals may use "bisexual" instead of "poly-/pan-/omnisexual", because that indicates the complexity of the term's history.

I'll address fortis' review, since it makes for a convenient example and encapsulates most of the complaints I've heard from others too.
• On the matter of identifying as bi because it feels right, I have no objection there. (In fact, I'll get back to that a bit later in this section!)
• The reasoning for it, though, is mostly because the other, arguably "more accurate", terms aren't as widespread, so explaining the sexuality is necessary more often, and merchandise representing these terms might not be available. That's definitely a disheartening issue, and for the time being, there's not much to be done about it. However, given time, the exposure of these terms will increase, so I believe it's just a matter of awareness. After all, in popular series and such, gay and lesbian characters are becoming somewhat standard, but you can probably count on both hands the number of bi, ace, enby, etc. characters you've seen (or otherwise the number of works in which such a character has appeared). The more the awareness grows, the more they'll appear. We can contribute to that by doing exactly what you're doing here! ^_^
• Liking the bi flag better than the flags for poly, pan, or omni is entirely a subjective matter. I'm not sure how the different flags all arise, but ultimately, there's not much to be done once they exist. Identifying a certain way because of the connected flag seems frivolous to me, but I'd immediately counter myself by admitting self-expression is extremely important, and thus it could be a very important matter to others. I… can basically just twist my lips in a sympathetic expression.
• The main reason why I view bisexuality as referring to a preference for only two genders is because, well, it's literally in the name. The scientist in me chafes against the notion of using a term containing "two" to refer to more than two. I identify as bi myself, and I'd be annoyed if someone told me I'm using it the wrong way. But hey, that's why I also try to keep an open mind and consider the opposite argument too!

I'm not sure there's an easy solution here, but I think you described the prevailing definition of "bisexual", in the end. The one thing I would propose you do differently here is to say that yes, it is mostly used to refer to someone who has a sexual preference for both men and women, but it can be any two genders. Still two, because poly and the others exist, but two all the same.

Oh, as a final note on bisexuality, I like that you addressed some of the misconceptions regarding it. Owing to my upbringing, I was guilty of some of these myself as a child, but having grown out of that ignorance, I can clearly see how and why these are extremely hurtful. I've dodged any such comments myself, since I'm out but only mention my preferences when relevant, but it's a shame that these still persist generally.

I don't have much to say about the next three. I think you addressed them well!

I've seen neither "ceterosexual" nor "skoliosexual" that much, but I think I've seen the former more? So, yeah, it's good to know this is the prevailing term. As for the debate, I'll just treat it as the "homosexual" for enbies. :)

Now, we get to the terms where I'm more personally invested! Technically, I identify purely as demisexual, but I prefer to use demibisexual because it's clearer on the specifics. Having said that, I think it would be better to remove the suggestion that "demisexual" alone refers to demiheterosexuality, because that's just not the case. If anything, the default is demipansexual. I'd say you can streamline the definition by saying a demisexual individual's sexual attraction is dependent on an emotional connection, as that doesn't infer the nature, such as romantic or platonic. If it's just the emotional connection that matters, then gender by default does not.

I've never heard anyone else make the distinction among different types of demisexuality by affixing bi- or anything else, though. Is it really a thing that people do? If so, that would be epic, since it means my train of thought is shared by other demi peeps!

Ah, but moving on to grey-asexuality, that's… also something as which I identify. (Yeah, life can be hard. XD) See, I absolutely have the bond-dependent aspect of demisexuality — and, in fact, I've at several points in my life developed a crush on friends just because we were friends — yet I also have the defining characteristic of being grey-ace by virtue of falling somewhere in the middle of the ace-allo spectrum. I experience this by having some degree of sexual attraction, but it's not only more limited than that of most people, it's also temporary, whereas an emotional connection makes it more lasting. Perhaps this is just an extension of being demi, but because I don't know how prevalent this is, I can't say that.

Oh, but once again, I'd refrain from assuming the default gender attraction for grey-ace peeps is heterosexuality. In truth, the asexual community is a thing all on its own, and I've actually heard people say they don't entirely appreciate being grouped as part of the "general LGBTQ+" community specifically because of differences in opinions and attitudes among labels, and because the asexual-allosexual spectrum has nothing to do with biological sex or gender. I have literally no idea whether grey-ace peeps specify their gender preference, but if they don't, it's best not to assume one. That's kind of like assuming someone's pronouns.

For asexuality, though, I think you nailed it! Everything you mentioned there strikes me as true, so well done! I'm especially happy that you addressed the misconceptions there too, because all of these misconceptions apply to demi and grey-ace peeps by virtue of being on the ace spectrum. A tip, though! "Sex-averse" is the standard term for an ace individual who, you know, is averse to sex. (This, too, can apply all the time or only some of the time.)

And now, the final sexuality on the list! …Except polyamory isn't a sexuality. :|

Now, don't misunderstand: I am grateful that polyamory is on the list! It means it's acknowledged as something that exists, which is always good. And also, I'm aware that you didn't make up the list of days for the month, so that's not on you. However, you are using this list, so there's a degree of responsibility and support for it that's still involved.

The simplest way to explain why polyamory shouldn't actually be on this list (unless properly defined) is to say that monogamy vs polyamory indicates your relationship orientation. As that suggests, it is just as removed from sexual orientation as romantic orientation, if not more. There is a ton of debate on how to define it, but polyamory ultimately comes down to the two parts that form the word: "more than one" and "love". What exactly """love""" means is up for debate, but generally, it's either romantic or any kind of love.

This will likely be a new term for you, but "ethical non-monogamy" (or "consensual non-monogamy") is the umbrella term for the relationship equivalent of "queer". Polyamory is actually just a subcategory of ethical non-monogamy, just as gay, lesbian, and bi are subcategories of queer. Others falling within the umbrella include open relationships, swinging, solo poly, relationship anarchy, and so on. As you can see, non-monogamy isn't actually related to non-heterosexuality, and a very good example of that is polygamy, especially here in Africa where some traditional African religions and cultures allow polygyny. You can totally be poly without being queer.

EDIT: I forgot to mention one of the main points I had in mind here! :O

Everyone in a polyamorous relationship knows about the other partners and is also romantically or sexually active with them. (This is not the same as open-ended relationships!) 'Polyamorous' is used as an adjective.

The underlined part is not true. That's certainly the case for many poly relationships, but it's not a requirement for all of them. There's a specific term, "metamour", used within the polycommunity to refer to a partner's partner who isn't also your partner.

As a final note, to bring this whole section back to sexuality, there's an item that isn't as widely recognised, and that's flexibility! It's not the sexual equivalent of fluidity as in genderfluidity, but it's nevertheless related. See, a straight man can have sex with other men and not be gay — he could perhaps not be sexually attracted to other men at all! Similarly, a gay man and a lesbian could have sex yet still each be homosexual. Flexibility, then, comes in play when someone of a narrowly defined sexuality, such as these, experiences marginal or incidental sexual attraction to a different gender (it doesn't need to be just one). If a straight dude finds himself sexually attracted to another man only 1% of the time, for example, he could identify as heteroflexible.

I'm not sure whether you can even describe flexibility as a sexuality on its own — I wouldn't, given its definition and given that it could technically apply to romantic orientation too — but it's a useful term to keep in mind! Especially since adolescents tend to be more fluid in their sexuality and identity than most. You don't need to add this to your list, but it would be remiss of me not to mention it! :D


Romantic orientation

27. Homoromantic
28. Biromantic
29. Panromantic
30. Aromantic

I don't have much to say here, and I personally think it's better to put romantic orientation directly after sexual orientation, so I've taken it out of order. Basically, I think you did a good job reinforcing the points you've made before while also explaining the nuance of each. One could say this entire section is unnecessary, as one could describe them as the romantic counterpart to sexualities, but given the particulars of being aromantic, I think you did well.


Gender identity

12. Intersex
13. Male-to-Female
14. Female-to-Male
15. Agender
16. Genderfluid
17. Bigender
18. Trigender
19. Pangender
20. Genderqueer
21. Demigirl
22. Demiboy
23. Androgyne
24. Intergender
25. Nonbinary
26. Questioning

I'll address intersex and intergender at the same time. See, people are always quick — rightfully so — to say sex and gender have nothing to do with each other. I don't think I fully agree with that, but that's only because we don't know each enough to be able to prove or disprove it, so in the meantime, I don't really care about the connection (or lack thereof) and agree we should just do what is most respectful and least harmful. The point, then, is that "intersex" shouldn't be classified as a gender identity for the same reason having a penis or a vagina (I don't shy away from anatomical terms, sorry) shouldn't be classified as being male or female. Biological males of the species H. sapiens have an X and one or two Y chromosomes; biological females have at least one X and no Y's; and intersex individuals have at least two X's and at least one Y. Granted, you can't claim to be intersex if you're not, and I feel it's valid that you can't be intergender if you're not also intersex, but intergender, as the name indicates, is the gender, and intersex is the sex. I'd therefore rather put intersex under the additional terms category, but again, I understand you didn't make this list. …Yet you're still using it. It's tricky.

I think you did well with the MTF and FTM categories! The only critique I have is that claiming that oestrogen (British spelling, which is standard over here) is found in biological females and that testosterone is found in biological males is categorically wrong. Both men and women produce both testosterone and oestrogen, since these are steroid hormones with cholesterol used as the base. Granted, the ratios differ in such a way that one circulates at much higher levels in the one sex than in the other, but I'm not just a scientist, I'm a biochemist specifically. I feel obligated to make this correction. XD

All right, from agender to demiboy, I admittedly don't have much to say! Although, I'll admit I didn't know "trigender" and "pangender" existed! I sometimes find it difficult to wrap my head around everything in the field of gender identity, but it's fascinating all the same.

The first instance of "androgyne" in its paragraph is missing the G. The typo aside, I remembered why I viewed genderneutrality and androgyny as two different things! The easiest way to explain it is to view it as a "neither" vs "both" type of deal in terms of presentation. I don't know whether this is accurate, but yeah, that's why they were different in my head. I'll definitely need to read up more on the matter. I guess I saw genderneutrality as something that better fits your description of "nonbinary" as a blanket term. *thinking emoticon*

I also have no problem with questioning! The explanation is clear.


All right! That brings us to the end of the review. I'm really glad you put in so much effort to make a comprehensive list, yet still possess the self-awareness to acknowledge that it can't include anything and might not be 100% accurate. Well done on a thorough essay! I hope my review, though it took several hours, not days, proves just as useful and/or entertaining to you as your essay was to me!

Good luck with your writing endeavours~




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Sat Jun 19, 2021 6:31 pm
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fortis says...



Hey! This is really pretty comprehensive and helpful for a beginner's guide to pride (hehe rhymes).
I figured I'd drop a quick note about bisexual brcause it always frustrates me when people link it to "two" so strongly. Bisexual (and biromantic, though idk about bigender since I don't id as that) just means attracted to more than one gender. Its doesn't limit you to just two. I id as bi and I am attracted to all genders. There is a lot of overlap between bi, pan, and omni, but it's up to the individual to determine what feels right to them. For me I like bi over pan because I am still attracted to people based on gender reasons, I like the flag better, and more people unfamiliar with queer identities have heard of it. That last point is also why I don't id as omni, and because I like seeing my flag represented and usually when there's pride merch or art they'll have bi and pan but not omni, and I'm perfectly happy id-ing as bi :]

here's an article about this, it's pretty long and there are a couple things in there I'm slightly iffy about, but overall I think it's really good at explaining what I'm trying to say https://aninjusticemag.com/stop-saying- ... 1dcad1d3f1






Hey! These are all great points! I actually pointed out in my section for bisexual that many people use it instead of terms like pan and omni simply because more people know it, and that pan and omni are both newer and less known terms. I tried to write it so the reader would know that bisexual can mean the same as either of those terms depending on the person identifying as bisexual. : ) I completely understand what you%u2019re saying because I know from my own experience there%u2019s a lot of debate in the community about it, so when I originally wrote it I did try my best to make it clear that that is what I meant. Thanks for the feedback!



fortis says...


I saw that part and appreciated it for sure! I think it was mostly just the beginning part ("Someone who is sexually attracted to two genders, usually both socially constructed genders (male and female). This term can be applied to anyone who loves two genders, but is usually used for those attracted to men and women.") that seemed just... incorrect as a basic definition. It leans pretty hard into "bi means two" when it really doesn't in this case.



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Sat Jun 19, 2021 7:14 am
AddisonHardy wrote a review...



Hello WinterWolf0100!
My name is Addison.
This was such an amazing and informative work. And happy pride month
I’m sure this will help so many people to become well informed!

One small nitpick that I’d personally make is to also include the difference between gender and sex.
Sex is your birth genitalia and hormones
However
Gender is what you identify as mentally
I would also recommend putting this:
“You do not have to present as something to identify as it”
Because so many people criticize others for not dressing the way they identify, whether it be cis men, trans men, or enbys/nonconformings wearing dresses or vise versa

I made the mistake as an enby myself to wear some shorts and thigh highs w a collared shirt one day, and my ex-gf criticized me heavily saying “I wasn’t really trans”

Speaking of which
Maybe put that all gender identities not aligning with their sex are under the trans spectrum?

Anyways
Amazing job!
Stay safe lovely!
Addison






Hey, this is a great piece of feedback! If you%u2019ll look under the %u201CAdditional Terms%u201D at the beginning, I already put the definition of Transgender as %u201CSomeone who identifies as any gender (or lack thereof) other than what was assigned at birth.%u201D I did also include the definitions of %u201CAssigned Male At Birth%u201D and %u201CAssigned Female At Birth%u201D and included in those definitions that a person who was AMAB is AMAB regardless of their gender. The idea of putting a definitions for the difference between gender and sex though is definitely something I%u2019ll keep in mind (and likely edit later today when I%u2019m not so tired XD) As for not needing to present as the gender you identify as, I actually did include that in most of the Gender Identities columns. I put in several of them that while most people dressed masculine/feminine/androgynous if they identified as %u201CBlank%u201D, they were still valid if they chose to dress another way and it did not make them any less of their identity.
Overall, thanks for the feedback, and Happy Pride, Allison!

~Winter



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Fri Jun 18, 2021 12:13 am
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RealSadhours296 wrote a review...



Thank you for writing this article for pride month! I think it's good for individuals to be properly informed of the terms the LGBTQ+ community uses regardless of their opinions!

I really liked the article! It's informational, easily accessible to those unfamiliar with the terms, and non-biased! I'm elated that you mentioned that people who are transgender do not have to have dysphoria, as that has been a debate in certain circles in the past, and still continues to be so I believe. I also like that you have differentiated romantic attraction from sexual attraction.

Here's a very, very, very tiny nitpick I'll point out (and keep in mind that I'm not an expert on LGBTQ+ terms, although I've researched heavily):

- Pansexual and Omnisexual -

Your definition of pansexual is perfect and serves its purpose. I think you could have mentioned however that people who identify as pansexual are not always attracted only to people's personalities. Many do have specific physical traits they are attracted to, but these preferences do not change because of the potential lover's gender.

This is actually another way to distinguish pansexuality from omnisexuality, as some people who are omnisexual may have different physical preferences for the different genders they are attracted to while not having a preference (An example: a pansexual person preferring people who are blondes, but not caring about the gender vs an omnisexual person preferring to date blonde men, black-haired women, etc.). To sidetrack a bit, another way of differentiating omnisexuality from pansexuality is that people who are omnisexual may not have preferences or different 'types' for different genders, but may still feel that their attraction to different genders are...well, different. (Being attracted to a woman feels different than being attracted to an enby, for example.). People who are pansexual don't have that distinction (Or it is so small that it's basically unimportant to them.)

Getting back on track, in short, the most basic way to distinguish pansexuality from omnisexuality and vice-versa is that pansexuality is gender-blind attraction, while omnisexuality is attraction to all genders with gender in mind.

The phrase 'people who are pansexual are attracted to people's personalities, not their gender' is correct, but also leaves out those who have 'a type,' just not a gendered one.

This is just from what I have read, however. Besides the fact that I might be wrong, like I said your definitions were basically perfect, and served their purpose well.

I hope my info-dump wasn't too annoying! Again, thank you for writing this article!




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Thu Jun 17, 2021 6:35 pm
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chikara wrote a review...



I saw this and immediately wanted to review.

I am a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and it's a big part of my life. There's a lot that's debated and argued, and it's kind of hard to see because this is meant to be a community built on, well, community. I'm glad this is more of an informational thing instead of something that's focused on opinions because if you have an opinion about literally anything, someone will disagree with it and make it a big deal when it isn't.

I do have a few things to comment on that affect the actual definitions~

Sexual Orientation-- who you love sexually

Romantic Orientation-- who you love romantically


I know that this part was mainly an introduction to the general idea of attraction and orientations, but I think that this is missing other forms of attraction-- aesthetic, sensual, platonic, and many more exist out there. I probably wouldn't be good to start with such an idea that could confuse people not in the community, but it would've covered feelings and experiences that a lot of people have, mainly people who're ace or aro-spec.

All of those attraction types I listed in the sentences above could be melted into two rather vague categories as well; physical attraction like aesthetic and sensual, and then emotional attraction like platonic and most forms of romantic attraction types. I think those names explain what they are and how they are felt, so that's all I have here.

AFAB-- Assigned Female At Birth (a person who is AFAB is AFAB regardless of their gender)

AMAB-- Assigned Male At Birth (a person who is AMAB is AMAB regardless of their gender)


There are intersex versions of these assignments, and even if they are quite rare and only used in certain countries, it would be nice to see them for the actual visibility it would bring to that community. In this time, intersex people are not understood as well as they can be, and that is harmful to growth in a health and educational-like setting.

The most common rare assignments are AXAB (assigned x at birth), which is also known as AIAB (assigned indeterminate at birth.) The other assignment is less common, but it's still used in some areas I believe; it's UAB or UAAB (unassigned at birth.) It can be used for intersex people, or parents who want to raise a gender-neutral kid.

Androgynous-- A physical appearance of looking gender-neutral.


Again, me being picky here, but gender presentation could also be talked about a lot more. It is also important due to how much of a spectrum it is, and kids are forced into boxes of masculine, feminine, or something considered "other" or unwanted. It is a type of thinking that isn't very great, and it could use any kind of visibility it could get.

Presentations include the general masculine and feminine, the androgynous that you already mentioned here, and xenic. Xenic is a complicated term to explain because it changes with the person and what they want it to signify, but it is typically used by people who identify as xenogenders, who are typically neurodiverse in some affecting way.

Imagine someone identifies as a gender that feels comforting like rainy days. They do not feel like rain, but that is the closest they can come to explaining their identity. It's a way for them to exist as the people they want to be, even though they do not understand it in a way that can be explained in words. They also can use neopronouns because of that.


One last thing I noticed here~
June 1st: Gay


I do not like the way every identity and orientation are broken up into days. This is pride month for a reason-- it is a month long, and people should be celebrated everyday and whenever they would like it. I've seen this on social media, and it's truly something that bothers me. I've seen people complain about feeling like an outcast when it isn't the day meant for them because of it, which isn't a proud feeling.

I'm glad gay and lesbian are placed in different areas though. Gay men have basically been forgotten in the label of gay because of how many people use it that aren't mlm. I am personally not a gay man, so I do not want to say anything else about that because I do not want to say something and have it be incorrect to their experiences.

Good work with all of this!

- chi




chikara says...


Also please do not use "queer" to refer to the community as a whole like in the part of "as queer (if it is in regards to any of those categories)."

It was a slur, and some people prefer to remember it's history as a slur. They are dehumanizing like any offensive word used against a group of people, and even if you wanted to mention it, at least mention it's history and how dark that truly is for a lot of people.

I personally reclaimed it, but it's still important to remember.





Hey, this is all very good feedback! I will say that while there are other types of attraction, I was focusing strictly on what the reader might need to understand before getting into definitions. Since platonic, aesthetic, and sensual attractions aren't really confined to the LGBTQ community, I didn't include them.

I was personally unaware of labels such as AFAB and AMAB for intersex people, but since I included intersex as one of the definitions, I don't know if I would've included that anyway.

In regards to looks, people likely already know what masculine and feminine mean. I wanted to provide the bare essential tools for readers to know what a word they might be unfamiliar with meant before I delved into the actual definitions and started to use those words. The words at the beginning weren't to give an overview of everything every person could fall into, but rather, to give people definitions they might need to understand for the rest of the text.

The final thing that I'll say is that I myself am a part of the LGBTQ community, and I am aware that splitting the month into days rubs some people the wrong way. This is not meant to divide people, but it was the easiest way for me to include all of the most well known identities and orientations in a way that people could easily look at. I didn't even come up with which thing went on which day-- that is something that can be found all across the internet if you look up 'Pride Month days' (which I did, when making this). I personally think that just because each day is meant to celebrate a specific person doesn't mean the entire month isn't still Pride month-- even if it's not June 10th or 16th, I'm happy that it's Pride. For me personally, knowing there's a specific day just for me along with a specific month for my community is a real boost in confidence. It means there are other people like me, and that I'm seen, heard, and acknowledged by the rest of the community. This is not to dispute anyone else's opinions or feelings on the matter-- but that is my personal take on it, which is why I did it like this.

As for giving gay men and lesbians a different day, I cannot take credit for that-- again, I did not create the list, just wrote the definitions and examples.

Thanks for sharing your feedback and opinion!





I also just now saw your comment on using 'queer'-- again, I myself am queer. I am genderfluid and asexual, and most people I know in the community have reclaimed it. Therefore, I felt like I had a right to use that word. Apologies if it offended you because of its history, but I decided to use it because of how many people are reclaiming it.



chikara says...


Perfectly understandable! I hope I didn't make a big deal about small details like those, but I just wanted to include all sides of what LGBTQ people could look like and what goes on there.





No, you brought up perfectly valid points! Like you said, there are a lot of debates going on in the community at all times, and I just presented things through my personal lens. I did, however, try to keep everything as factual as possible, and tried to include any information in terms of things people have differing opinions on. Thanks for sharing yours!




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