Salutations, Winter!
I heard you'd made a list of definitions for Pride Month, so I thought I'd check it out. It's quite comprehensive, so well done! You definitely have reason to be proud. ;P
In any case, I decided to leave a review in support! There are several things I'd like to praise, and also a few critiques I'd like to make, so let's get to it! :D
Firstly, I enjoy the title! It's catchy and conveys the comprehensiveness of the list while still acknowledging that writing an essay covering every existing gender, sexuality, and so on would be… tough. You've also included a disclaimer that explicitly states this, which is good — one can't always expect people to grasp implicit meanings, even if they're not particularly subtle. And the warning you attached at the top is also a good idea, since we never know what might trigger a response from people, innocuous as something might be.
The three starting definitions are easy to understand, and I feel your accompanying description expands on them well enough without oversimplifying. I would personally hesitate to describe sexuality as whom you "love" sexually, since the word has so many connotations: on the one hand, it's chiefly associated with romantic orientation, but on the other, there exists an erroneous yet prevalent thought that sex is the ultimate expression of love. Nevertheless, that's simply my preference, and it's somewhat technical to boot. As I said, you brought your point across without confusion, which is the real focus here.
The list of additional terms has a reasonable length. All of the definitions provided in it are certainly useful for understanding the bulk of the essay, and all of them seem perfectly accurate. As a matter of fact, I'd always thought of androgyny and genderneutrality as different things. I'm… not quite sure why? After all, genderneutrality falls in the middle of the binary spectrum, and since androgyny entails having both masculine and feminine physical characteristics, it should be obvious that the two terms describe the same thing. An andrygynosexual friend of mine confirmed this, so thanks for that! It's definitely something I'll keep in mind in future. :D
Hmm, come to think of it, that brings another distinction to mind: male/female vs masculine/feminine. The first pair refers to biological sex and/or gender, depending on the person speaking, whereas the latter refers to gender expression/presentation. Naturally, the two pairs show correlation in terms of societal expectation, but are ultimately independent. It's not essential to add this in your essay, naturally — I think it's sufficiently clear as it is — but it's always good to keep in mind for future explanations, should you ever wish to revisit this essay or write another one.
I'll break the following three sections of the essay into subsections for this review too, just because I write long-ish paragraphs and it'll be easier for you to read that way. …Actually, I'll add headings too.
Sexual orientation
1. Gay
2. Lesbian
3. Bisexual
4. Polysexual
5. Pansexual
6. Omnisexual
7. Ceterosexual
8. Demisexual
9. Grey-Asexual
10. Asexual
11. Polyamorous
This list is just so I can check things more easily. I'll leave it in the review for ease of reference.
I initially wondered whether it was necessary to split "gay" and "lesbian", as opposed to having an item called "homosexual", but after reading your descriptions, and afterwards considering what I know of the community, I think you did the right thing! I wouldn't use gay as a term to describe all members of the community, but I've certainly heard people say something like "that's so gay" — not in a demeaning or offensive way — so it's a very good thing to point out. Gay and lesbian representation also have their own challenges, so the split is valid in that sense too.
Oh, and I liked how you emphasised the one is an adjective and the other (mostly) a noun! You do this throughout the essay, which is not only good for consistency (and I'm a sucker for consistency and uniformity of formatting), but also for clarity! Anyone reading this list shouldn't have difficulty afterwards knowing when to use a certain term. :)
This will be somewhat of a controversial opinion, but hey, opinions don't have to be the same, as long as everyone is respectful! So, regarding bisexuality, I've seen and heard that some people don't like it when bisexuality is defined as having a preference for two genders — such as fortis' review below! However, and this is where the controversy could come in, I don't personally agree with that. I like how you mentioned that older individuals may use "bisexual" instead of "poly-/pan-/omnisexual", because that indicates the complexity of the term's history.
I'll address fortis' review, since it makes for a convenient example and encapsulates most of the complaints I've heard from others too.
• On the matter of identifying as bi because it feels right, I have no objection there. (In fact, I'll get back to that a bit later in this section!)
• The reasoning for it, though, is mostly because the other, arguably "more accurate", terms aren't as widespread, so explaining the sexuality is necessary more often, and merchandise representing these terms might not be available. That's definitely a disheartening issue, and for the time being, there's not much to be done about it. However, given time, the exposure of these terms will increase, so I believe it's just a matter of awareness. After all, in popular series and such, gay and lesbian characters are becoming somewhat standard, but you can probably count on both hands the number of bi, ace, enby, etc. characters you've seen (or otherwise the number of works in which such a character has appeared). The more the awareness grows, the more they'll appear. We can contribute to that by doing exactly what you're doing here! ^_^
• Liking the bi flag better than the flags for poly, pan, or omni is entirely a subjective matter. I'm not sure how the different flags all arise, but ultimately, there's not much to be done once they exist. Identifying a certain way because of the connected flag seems frivolous to me, but I'd immediately counter myself by admitting self-expression is extremely important, and thus it could be a very important matter to others. I… can basically just twist my lips in a sympathetic expression.
• The main reason why I view bisexuality as referring to a preference for only two genders is because, well, it's literally in the name. The scientist in me chafes against the notion of using a term containing "two" to refer to more than two. I identify as bi myself, and I'd be annoyed if someone told me I'm using it the wrong way. But hey, that's why I also try to keep an open mind and consider the opposite argument too!
I'm not sure there's an easy solution here, but I think you described the prevailing definition of "bisexual", in the end. The one thing I would propose you do differently here is to say that yes, it is mostly used to refer to someone who has a sexual preference for both men and women, but it can be any two genders. Still two, because poly and the others exist, but two all the same.
Oh, as a final note on bisexuality, I like that you addressed some of the misconceptions regarding it. Owing to my upbringing, I was guilty of some of these myself as a child, but having grown out of that ignorance, I can clearly see how and why these are extremely hurtful. I've dodged any such comments myself, since I'm out but only mention my preferences when relevant, but it's a shame that these still persist generally.
I don't have much to say about the next three. I think you addressed them well!
I've seen neither "ceterosexual" nor "skoliosexual" that much, but I think I've seen the former more? So, yeah, it's good to know this is the prevailing term. As for the debate, I'll just treat it as the "homosexual" for enbies. :)
Now, we get to the terms where I'm more personally invested! Technically, I identify purely as demisexual, but I prefer to use demibisexual because it's clearer on the specifics. Having said that, I think it would be better to remove the suggestion that "demisexual" alone refers to demiheterosexuality, because that's just not the case. If anything, the default is demipansexual. I'd say you can streamline the definition by saying a demisexual individual's sexual attraction is dependent on an emotional connection, as that doesn't infer the nature, such as romantic or platonic. If it's just the emotional connection that matters, then gender by default does not.
I've never heard anyone else make the distinction among different types of demisexuality by affixing bi- or anything else, though. Is it really a thing that people do? If so, that would be epic, since it means my train of thought is shared by other demi peeps!
Ah, but moving on to grey-asexuality, that's… also something as which I identify. (Yeah, life can be hard. XD) See, I absolutely have the bond-dependent aspect of demisexuality — and, in fact, I've at several points in my life developed a crush on friends just because we were friends — yet I also have the defining characteristic of being grey-ace by virtue of falling somewhere in the middle of the ace-allo spectrum. I experience this by having some degree of sexual attraction, but it's not only more limited than that of most people, it's also temporary, whereas an emotional connection makes it more lasting. Perhaps this is just an extension of being demi, but because I don't know how prevalent this is, I can't say that.
Oh, but once again, I'd refrain from assuming the default gender attraction for grey-ace peeps is heterosexuality. In truth, the asexual community is a thing all on its own, and I've actually heard people say they don't entirely appreciate being grouped as part of the "general LGBTQ+" community specifically because of differences in opinions and attitudes among labels, and because the asexual-allosexual spectrum has nothing to do with biological sex or gender. I have literally no idea whether grey-ace peeps specify their gender preference, but if they don't, it's best not to assume one. That's kind of like assuming someone's pronouns.
For asexuality, though, I think you nailed it! Everything you mentioned there strikes me as true, so well done! I'm especially happy that you addressed the misconceptions there too, because all of these misconceptions apply to demi and grey-ace peeps by virtue of being on the ace spectrum. A tip, though! "Sex-averse" is the standard term for an ace individual who, you know, is averse to sex. (This, too, can apply all the time or only some of the time.)
And now, the final sexuality on the list! …Except polyamory isn't a sexuality. :|
Now, don't misunderstand: I am grateful that polyamory is on the list! It means it's acknowledged as something that exists, which is always good. And also, I'm aware that you didn't make up the list of days for the month, so that's not on you. However, you are using this list, so there's a degree of responsibility and support for it that's still involved.
The simplest way to explain why polyamory shouldn't actually be on this list (unless properly defined) is to say that monogamy vs polyamory indicates your relationship orientation. As that suggests, it is just as removed from sexual orientation as romantic orientation, if not more. There is a ton of debate on how to define it, but polyamory ultimately comes down to the two parts that form the word: "more than one" and "love". What exactly """love""" means is up for debate, but generally, it's either romantic or any kind of love.
This will likely be a new term for you, but "ethical non-monogamy" (or "consensual non-monogamy") is the umbrella term for the relationship equivalent of "queer". Polyamory is actually just a subcategory of ethical non-monogamy, just as gay, lesbian, and bi are subcategories of queer. Others falling within the umbrella include open relationships, swinging, solo poly, relationship anarchy, and so on. As you can see, non-monogamy isn't actually related to non-heterosexuality, and a very good example of that is polygamy, especially here in Africa where some traditional African religions and cultures allow polygyny. You can totally be poly without being queer.
EDIT: I forgot to mention one of the main points I had in mind here! :O
Everyone in a polyamorous relationship knows about the other partners and is also romantically or sexually active with them. (This is not the same as open-ended relationships!) 'Polyamorous' is used as an adjective.
The underlined part is not true. That's certainly the case for many poly relationships, but it's not a requirement for all of them. There's a specific term, "metamour", used within the polycommunity to refer to a partner's partner who isn't also your partner.
As a final note, to bring this whole section back to sexuality, there's an item that isn't as widely recognised, and that's flexibility! It's not the sexual equivalent of fluidity as in genderfluidity, but it's nevertheless related. See, a straight man can have sex with other men and not be gay — he could perhaps not be sexually attracted to other men at all! Similarly, a gay man and a lesbian could have sex yet still each be homosexual. Flexibility, then, comes in play when someone of a narrowly defined sexuality, such as these, experiences marginal or incidental sexual attraction to a different gender (it doesn't need to be just one). If a straight dude finds himself sexually attracted to another man only 1% of the time, for example, he could identify as heteroflexible.
I'm not sure whether you can even describe flexibility as a sexuality on its own — I wouldn't, given its definition and given that it could technically apply to romantic orientation too — but it's a useful term to keep in mind! Especially since adolescents tend to be more fluid in their sexuality and identity than most. You don't need to add this to your list, but it would be remiss of me not to mention it! :D
Romantic orientation
27. Homoromantic
28. Biromantic
29. Panromantic
30. Aromantic
I don't have much to say here, and I personally think it's better to put romantic orientation directly after sexual orientation, so I've taken it out of order. Basically, I think you did a good job reinforcing the points you've made before while also explaining the nuance of each. One could say this entire section is unnecessary, as one could describe them as the romantic counterpart to sexualities, but given the particulars of being aromantic, I think you did well.
Gender identity
12. Intersex
13. Male-to-Female
14. Female-to-Male
15. Agender
16. Genderfluid
17. Bigender
18. Trigender
19. Pangender
20. Genderqueer
21. Demigirl
22. Demiboy
23. Androgyne
24. Intergender
25. Nonbinary
26. Questioning
I'll address intersex and intergender at the same time. See, people are always quick — rightfully so — to say sex and gender have nothing to do with each other. I don't think I fully agree with that, but that's only because we don't know each enough to be able to prove or disprove it, so in the meantime, I don't really care about the connection (or lack thereof) and agree we should just do what is most respectful and least harmful. The point, then, is that "intersex" shouldn't be classified as a gender identity for the same reason having a penis or a vagina (I don't shy away from anatomical terms, sorry) shouldn't be classified as being male or female. Biological males of the species H. sapiens have an X and one or two Y chromosomes; biological females have at least one X and no Y's; and intersex individuals have at least two X's and at least one Y. Granted, you can't claim to be intersex if you're not, and I feel it's valid that you can't be intergender if you're not also intersex, but intergender, as the name indicates, is the gender, and intersex is the sex. I'd therefore rather put intersex under the additional terms category, but again, I understand you didn't make this list. …Yet you're still using it. It's tricky.
I think you did well with the MTF and FTM categories! The only critique I have is that claiming that oestrogen (British spelling, which is standard over here) is found in biological females and that testosterone is found in biological males is categorically wrong. Both men and women produce both testosterone and oestrogen, since these are steroid hormones with cholesterol used as the base. Granted, the ratios differ in such a way that one circulates at much higher levels in the one sex than in the other, but I'm not just a scientist, I'm a biochemist specifically. I feel obligated to make this correction. XD
All right, from agender to demiboy, I admittedly don't have much to say! Although, I'll admit I didn't know "trigender" and "pangender" existed! I sometimes find it difficult to wrap my head around everything in the field of gender identity, but it's fascinating all the same.
The first instance of "androgyne" in its paragraph is missing the G. The typo aside, I remembered why I viewed genderneutrality and androgyny as two different things! The easiest way to explain it is to view it as a "neither" vs "both" type of deal in terms of presentation. I don't know whether this is accurate, but yeah, that's why they were different in my head. I'll definitely need to read up more on the matter. I guess I saw genderneutrality as something that better fits your description of "nonbinary" as a blanket term. *thinking emoticon*
I also have no problem with questioning! The explanation is clear.
All right! That brings us to the end of the review. I'm really glad you put in so much effort to make a comprehensive list, yet still possess the self-awareness to acknowledge that it can't include anything and might not be 100% accurate. Well done on a thorough essay! I hope my review, though it took several hours, not days, proves just as useful and/or entertaining to you as your essay was to me!
Good luck with your writing endeavours~
Points: 17344
Reviews: 293
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