Hey Alice! Forever Here for a review.
First of all, the title is grammatically wrong. It should be 'Someone has gone far now' If you don't want to change the position of now, fine but you have to replace is with has
Everyone got alert as they heard the sound of Dedred. He was banging the door fiercely. Their faces got numb, their brains stopped working.
A good beginning, of course.
"Open the door, don't be a coward," Dedred shouted and he started to knock more aggressively.
“Opa what do we do now?” Kiliarn quivered.
“ Now listen to me very carefully! You have to understand! Very carefully!” Opa said. “You three will now sneak away very quietly through the backyard door. Run from here as far as you can and hide. Hide in a place that no one knows. I will keep Dedred and his men engaged here as far as I can do.”
Though not sure, maybe 'a coward' is not the phrase here. The thing is if Dedred knows about the children, then it will be cowards and if he doesn't, it will be as it is. From the context, I guess it's the former.
The word is backyard, not back yard
Now, I am gonna guess the place is that cave which Ethan found when he and Kiliarn went to the forest.
“But Opa! What about you?,” Ethan cried “ We can’t leave you here, they will take you prisoner.”
“Opa, we can’t let that happen,” Lyla said.
“Children! I am an old man. I will be nothing but a burden in your journey,” Opa argued. “ Besides, this journey is yours to take. This will prepare you for the more dangerous things yet to come.”
Add an 'as' before prisoner. This seems to be kind of very sad... You have managaed to create sympathy for Opa in the last chapters. Let's see what is his fate...
“What dangerous things? No Opa, I am not listening to anything, you are coming with us,” Kiliarn insisted and there came a loud bang on the door. And then came the fierce voice of Dedred.
“ Open it! Or I am gonna break this ridiculous door.”
“There is no time to lose in arguing. Now Lyla, bring that brown leather bag I gave you to keep,” Opa said . He gave that leather bag to Lyla five years ago and from then she has kept it safely in her chest. Opa made her promise him that she will not tell anyone about it, nor will she ever look what is in it. Lyla never broke her promise. In Fact she actually forgot about it.
Hm... Seems like the grandmother had some powers, be it magical or whatever, it was some helpful powers indeed and maybe it was stored in the bag... Quite interesting. Put a comma after in fact
What leather bag…….hmm…. Oh, that bag.” Lyla disappeared into her room and came back with a dusty and with a in spider webs covered brown leather bag. She gave it to Opa after she had wiped off most of the dust.
“Now Ethan, I gave this to Lyla to keep it safe for this day. I knew this day would come but didn’t know this soon and in this way….”
“What are yo…..”
Just remove that hmmmm... It doesn't really fit in the dialogue. Opa seems to have some future telling powers. You have assigned quite interesting powers to all of them. I don't know if it's right to put ellipses when someone is interrupted but I think — is better in those cases.
“Don’t interrupt me, there is not much time.” Opa opened the brown bag and in there was a rusty little book. “This book was given to you by your Grandma for this day.” he handed Ethan the book. As Ethan tried to open the book it wasn’t opening.
“Opa, it is not opening.”
Hm... Can be a book giving directions, tips and tricks. Mysterious as it seems. And I guess it's really magical, because if a book opens only in times of need, it's magical.
“Opa, we are not leaving you,” Ethan said.
“ Oh god, I have raised such stubborn kids. Please go now! Please!” Opa pleaded.
“NO,” Lyla screamed.
Good job with the pacing. It clearly shows their haste and sad that Opa will not go with them... I feel sad for him.
“Children….please understand!I spent my entire life in Sunwane with your Grandma. Even if I have to die I would like to die here where there are so many memories of my wife,” Opa cried.
There came a loud bang and the door of their house was open wide. And there was Dedred’s harsh face and his men standing beside him with bows and arrows.
“Run children! Run..” Opa screamed.
They all ran out of the house from the back door, Dedred and his men were after them. They were running for their lives, they had nothing in their mind. They didn't know where to go. They were just running and running. And then, there came a scream, a painful scream. A voice so familiar!
Hm... Seems like it's set in the past when they use bows and arrows as weapons. And I guess that scream is Opa's scream... Oh! What happened with him! Was he beaten...
Lyla stopped and turned over “Opa………” She screamed. One of Dedred’s men has shot an arrow that Opa got in the chest. He was crying in agony. Everything felt still, like time had stopped.
“Opa… Opa you will be fine! I won’t let anything happen to you!” Lyla sobbed. Opa was in her lap, taking his last breath. Ethan and Kiliarn were ahead of them. They now came to them and pulled Opa to the side where there were enough bushes to hide them.
Oh he was dead. He took his last breath. You really killed him... Er... No... I don't blame you, I just feel a bit too sad. You really managed to create sympathy for him and now he will die...
“I just want to say some last things, first, get away from here and try to live a peaceful life in the other realms. I know it won’t be easy, but I know I have raised brave children. And second, Ethan, if ever possible go to the Sky of Season and meet The Lady Deviner. There are some things only she has the right to tell you.”
“Opa, don’t lose hope you will make it and come with us on this journey.” Ethan said, but deep inside he too knew that Opa was at death’s door.
“Children, be brave! And Ethan, take care of them,” Opa gave out a breath of relief and his muscles relaxed. He was dead......
Seems like a new adventure is gonna start. We have so many unanswered questions. Maybe we will get the answers to those questions. Then, the children cam also take revenge on them...
Overall, it was kind of a very sad chapter. However, obviously, it was great
Keep writing!
~Forever
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