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16+ Language

these fairytales aren't the same

by chikara

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

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50 Reviews

Points: 1507
Reviews: 50

Fri May 21, 2021 4:56 pm
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waywardxwallflower wrote a review...

I realized I read this and didn't leave a review, but I don't think I even have the words to describe the way this poem made me feel. The way you took something from childhood, something beautiful and innocent and looked at it from the view of someone older now, and with less blind childlike optimism, is incredible.

Personal details are interwoven throughout it, creating a story the reader can piece together in many different ways: this aspect is fantastic ! The whole tale it tells is just,,,, *chef's kiss*. It is So Beautiful. I cannot convey this.

Also: I consider you among the same tier as Richard Siken.

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Points: 134
Reviews: 3

Sun May 16, 2021 7:14 pm
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xsummermiax wrote a review...

This is amazing.You have an amazing talent and you should continue writing and never give up!
I have some feedback for this too!
Where it says ''you have chased all the demons off of cliffs''it was a beautiful line and i feel as though it captured the essence of the story.
I personally think you could do this as a job!
stay awesome~summer

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583 Reviews

Points: 2398
Reviews: 583

Sun May 16, 2021 3:03 pm
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Magebird wrote a review...

Hi chikara!

I had to pause between reading this poem and starting this review because dang. This poem was absolutely amazing! It feels like you found the sweet spot between poetry and prose. I love the amount of details you included in this poem. There wasn't ever a moment where I felt like I lost focus or was completely confused. I really can't describe how impressed I am with the story you told.

I don't have much to offer in terms of criticism, but I thought it might be helpful to include my interpretation of the poem in my review--that way you can see if the story was conveyed in the way you wanted it to be.

The subject of the poem appears to be someone in a relationship with the perfect man. He's a "Prince Charming" and she's supposed to play the role of the princess, but feels like something is off with the relationship because she has issues that never really come up in fairy tales. It can also be inferred that the Prince Charming fell in love with her when she was hiding her issues, so the relationship doesn't really have the trust/communication/bond that a relationship should have. But those issues eventually do come to light, and the relationship crumbles because of it.

I can also see two other interpretations. Instead of just the princess having issues, the Prince Charming does as well. Because the princess is so caught up in finding her perfect ending and hiding her own imperfections, she doesn't realize he also has flaws. Alternatively, Prince Charming isn't a person--it's the bad coping mechanisms that the subject has come to rely on.

No matter which of those three guesses are right, I really do love this poem. All of the lines are absolutely amazing, but this bit in the second stanza has to be one of my favorite parts in the entire poem:

yes, do you finally see your prince charming
riding off into the sunset without you?
it's blinding, it's yellow, it's every fear you have yet to face--
and it's staring directly into your eyes.

Even though I wasn't able to offer any critiques, I hope this review is helpful! Let me know if I need to clarify anything~

Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
— Carl Sandburg