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Between the Calm and the Storm lies Limbo

by BlueGlow


Sometimes I find myself

Alone with my thoughts.

Sitting at a desk.

Thinking about things.

The lights are out.

The ceiling fan is spinning.

And I am perfectly content.

The outside’s tendrils cannot get in.

The window blinds are drawn.

The papers are scattered across the floor.

I sit scrawling away on another sheet,

Hoping that this attempt will be the one I stick with.

Outside the world is burning;

People are unhappy,

There is unrest, and disease.

Anger and death

But inside my little bubble,

I find calm and solace.

For none of those things can get in.

Nor can I get out.

The calm is also a prison,

Separating me from everyone else.

Perhaps I should go out and face the world,

But it would be easier to stay here instead.

Nighttime comes and with it, my repose.

Tomorrow promises something new

So long as I don’t hide away from it

And I won’t, for opportunity only comes when sought after.


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Points: 126
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Fri Jun 18, 2021 1:28 am
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Tttu06 wrote a review...



Hi! Just wanted to leave a review for you! -Tttu06

First off, I would like to say very neat poem. You got me fully immersed in the atmosphere of your little world. I can imagine it in my mind just some guy sitting there as he thinks all those thoughts.

Personal Thoughts:

From what I conjured up from reading this, he knows there is bad in the world so he hides away; almost shunning it, yet he knows he can never truly accomplish anything is he always just stays like how he is currently. I think it speaks volume how even though he believes he is content yet there is still the notion that he is unhappy. (EX: How he ponders on the uncertainty of going out in the world, the papers scattered on the floor, how his calmness is a safe haven and a prison). I love how it focuses on the good and the bad how nothing is truly free from being either completely.

Some Good Things:

The immersive imagery was fantastic, I really felt like I was there in his room with him. The word choice was great and helped bring it all together. The fact it all comes together 'full circle' at the very end is a fitting touch.

Overall great poem and I can't wait to read more of your literature. :)




BlueGlow says...


Hey thanks for the kind words!



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Sat May 22, 2021 12:25 pm
Liminality wrote a review...



Hi there, BlueGlow! This poem was a pleasant read. The mood seems quiet and meditative, as the speaker is going through their thoughts in the privacy of their room. They seem to take an observational stance towards the world – both the internal and the external.

Subject, Themes, Narrative

From what I gather, this poem is about how the speaker enjoys the tranquillity of being away from the world, but at the same time realises and accepts that they will return to it eventually. I found it interesting that despite the ‘inside’ being peaceful there is this sign of chaos: “papers are scattered across the floor.” It makes me wonder if the speaker is an ‘unreliable narrator’ and they are not quite as at peace as they say. I’m not sure about that theory though, because I didn’t see anything else in the poem that indicated that.

Language

On the whole, I liked how the direct statements about the state of the outside world seemed so matter-of-fact. I felt that this conveyed how being isolated kind of let the speaker forget about it all momentarily. The vagueness of statements like people being “unhappy” seems to suggest that as well.

I sit scrawling away on another sheet,
Hoping that this attempt will be the one I stick with.


I’m not sure what ‘this attempt’ refers to here – is it related to the “something new” in the final stanza? My initial guess was that the speaker is trying to write.

Another thing I liked was the use of specific detail at points like “ceiling fan is spinning” and “window blinds are drawn”. For me, that helped create the atmosphere of being shut in, as if the speaker could only focus on those little details because of the quiet, almost cloistral atmosphere where they have isolated themselves.

Structure

Formatting stanzas to be indented slightly in opposite directions creates this river-like shape. I wasn’t quite sure what to feel about it at first. I think on one reading I thought the meandering shape made it seem more tranquil, and on another I got the sense that it was reflecting the stream-of-consciousness. Either way, it makes a pretty distinctive style.

Speaking of stream-of-consciousness, the use of full stops at the end of some lines really made it seem as though we were inside the speaker’s head. That enhanced the impact of some of the pivotal moments for me, including the line “Nor can I get out.”.

The parts of the poem that prompted pauses felt so well-placed, for instance the caesurae in the lines below made the voice come across as speech-like, but also with a sombre weight to it.
Nighttime comes and with it, my repose.
. . .
And I won’t, for opportunity only comes when sought after.


That's all
All this makes for a poetic voice that is certainly very memorable and cohesively contemplative.

Hopefully you found these comments helpful - and keep writing!

Cheers,
-Lim




BlueGlow says...


Hey thanks for the in-depth review! I'm glad the atmosphere was properly conveyed!



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Thu May 20, 2021 12:52 am
Rodionandaxe wrote a review...



Hi!! I am here for a little review,

Your poem covers almost all aspects of the scene, the present that is described. You have covered what is going on in the room, in your head, outside and the world in general, its really admirable.

The window blinds are drawn.

The papers are scattered across the floor.

I sit scrawling away on another sheet,

Hoping that this attempt will be the one I stick with.


This is a really descriptive stanza. The imagery used here is in perfect synchrony with the action described. I can imagine the room, the table and someone sitting there writing intently. When I read poems like yours I can't help but be reminded of how well poems illustrate people's life in general, making it much more pleasant than prose and much more relatable.

Outside the world is burning;

People are unhappy,

There is unrest, and disease.

Anger and death

But inside my little bubble,

I find calm and solace.

For none of those things can get in.

Nor can I get out.


I love the contrast of these two stanzas. The raw emotion of the first and the soothing painted scene by the second. You have flawlessly described what their room means to most writers. Again the relatability of your poem makes it really appealing.

The calm is also a prison,

Separating me from everyone else.

Perhaps I should go out and face the world,

But it would be easier to stay here instead.


I like how you have pointed the little negatives here. Often when people describe the place and time precious to them, they forget to look from the opposite angle.

The last stanza is a befitting end. The hope for tomorrow, the anticipation and the self assurance are all very well potrayed.

Here's a little suggestion,
You could try to add more regularity to the length of the lines to make it look a little neat and graceful.

All in all you poem's lovely. You did a great job painting a cozy image in the readers mind. It's very wholesome, makes me wish I had a room like that. The balance that you have shown between thoughts, immediate surrounding and the outside is wonderfully done.

Keep writing such awesome pieces<3




BlueGlow says...


Thanks for the review! Even line lengths are often omitted from my poems as sometimes I can't find a concise enough expression. In the future I hope to improve that aspect. Thanks for reading!



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Wed May 12, 2021 12:34 pm
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pineapple321 wrote a review...



Hi, BlueGlow!

Wow...this was a great poem. You really illustrated what it's like to be stuck in your mind. You brought light to the good part and the negative parts of it. I also liked the imagery you used "the ceiling fan is spinning" or "The window blinds are drawn".

My absolute favorite lines were "the calm is also a prism/separating me from everyone else". That is so true. Though people say tranquility is good for us, sometimes we get too comfortable and forget about everything else.

All in all, great job. I really enjoyed reading this poem!

Signed,
Pineapple




BlueGlow says...


Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad I could illustrate such a concept!




I will call them my people, which were not my people; and her beloved, which was not beloved.
— Romans 9:25