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The Cursed Generation - Chapter 2: Andy

by JdoggyGirl


Andy

January eighth, 2006. In Saint Richard’s hospital, at two thirty in the morning, a baby with an upside-down side was born. Well, at least that’s what I call it. Melody calls it the freak side, Phillip calls it the flip curse, Nora likes to call it the magical side. I must admit that Nora is the best five year old in Flippen, especially when it comes to making things sound perfect.

Anyway, Mrs. Tiffany Harris was in the middle of having a baby. Mr. Harris was there too, and saw the upside down baby born. Now, the lovely Harris couple did not know that the curse struck their sweet little baby boy until…

“Wha, Wha, Whaaa-Graaaaa!” The baby grew twice its size and grew muscles like a Hulkbaby. Hair came off him in a furry purple layer. The baby’s dark blue eyes turned yellow, and his head grew twisted, wicked black horns.

“Ahhh!” shrieked the nurse, who was holding the baby, dropping the baby into his mother’s arms. That lovely couple fell in love with their purple demon baby.

“Hi, my sweet baby boy!” Mrs. Harris cooed, with as much love and even more than as if she was looking at a normal baby. Instantly the baby stopped crying, and slowly, the purple fur faded away, and the horns vanished, and before her lay a perfectly normal looking little baby, babbling and burbling at his mother. “You are the cutest thing ever, Andy,” she cooed.

I was still pondering that moment of my strange way of coming to this world. Until the bell rang to go home. Oh, what joy that loud ringing gave to me!

I looked around me, suddenly realizing I had wandered outside somehow. Huh, how am I outside already? I wondered absentmindedly. I must have wandered outside while I was daydreaming about my own birth.

“Hey! Andy!” I turned around and saw Melody waving me over. Melody wore a large grey sweatshirt, worn blue jeans, a bright red beanie, and some tinted, pale blue, square glasses. Most girls would think she doesn't look cute in her casual fashion. But I think she looks gorgeous, no matter what. I admit it, I have a tiny (Cough, cough, HUGE) crush on Melody. I raced over, my loose fitting sneakers flapping against my feet. My favorite noise may be a school bell, but this is my favorite thing to do. Walking home with Phillip and Melody. It’s the only time things are just the three of us.

We lined up, shoulder to shoulder on the sidewalk, my left foot stepping in the grass, Phillip’s right. “Guys, guess what Nora learned yesterday.” Melody squealed.

“What?” Philip and I said at the same time, making Melody laugh.

We quickly looked at each other and yelled “Jinx!” pointing at each other. Melody bent over, laughing and wheezing. Philip and I grinned at each other.

“She learned her first chord on the acoustic!” Melody choked out, barely finding enough breath to say it.

“Aww, how boring, Fang Face!” A familiar voice cut her off. We turned to find Alyssa Callister standing on the sidewalk. The most popular girl in Burrygrate middle school, right there. She had brought her squad with her, about 6 of her cheerleader pals, tall, and probably unhealthily underweight. Looming by them was Alyssa's boyfriend Rider. They all stood behind her with their arms crossed, ready for anything Alyssa said.

“What do you want, Alyssa?” Melody snarled, her earlier joyfulness gone with the wind. Alyssa stepped forward. Alyssa’s clothing made her look like a high-school popular girl who dreams of being a movie star. Short white skirt over black tights, a yellow tank top under a dark purple crop top jacket, and long black shiny hair with neon purple tips.

“If this Nora looks like you, I would feel bad for the poor kid,” Alyssa said, ignoring Melody’s less than warm welcome. She stepped menacingly closer to Melody’s face. “You know, fang face,” she sneered, “I always wanted to do this!” Quicker than snapping her fingers, Alyssa yanked off Melody’s beanie. Melody reached for it as Alyssa pulled it away, but it was too late.

”Schschsch!” Off of Melody’s scalp, coils and coils of acid green vipers rose up and hissed their joy for that hat to be off. Melody’s up-side-down side made her a real-life Medusa.

Rider screamed, turned tail, and shoved past Alyssa's friends, coward that he is. Alyssa gawked at the snakes for a split second, her mouth drooping open, before dropping the beanie and sprinting off. Within all the pandemonium and the sudden surge of motion on her head, Melody’s glasses slipped off one of her ears, turning a bird flying by to stone. I'd seen her without her hat, but turning things to stone? That’s new!


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Tue Jun 22, 2021 2:52 am
Spearmint wrote a review...



Hiya, mint here with a review! ^-^ I enjoyed reading this, and the way Andy describes his birth was especially entertaining. I'm wondering what exactly his abilities are too-- the way the word "Hulk" is used to describe his upside-down side makes me think his abilities include some kind of super-strength? But there definitely could be more to them! So overall, this seems like an interesting start to a novel! C: Okay, on to specifics...

...a baby with an upside-down side was born. Well, at least that’s what I call it. Melody calls it the freak side, Phillip calls it the flip curse, Nora likes to call it the magical side.

I love that each of these characters have different names for it! Melody and Phillip seem to think more negatively of these abilities, while Nora's name for it sounds so positive and sunshine-y =D

“Wha, Wha, Whaaa-Graaaaa!” The baby grew twice its size and grew muscles like a Hulkbaby. Hair came off him in a furry purple layer. The baby’s dark blue eyes turned yellow, and his head grew twisted, wicked black horns.

Oh wow, that's quite a dramatic transformation 0.0
Also, just a super tiny thing I'm wondering-- did the hair fall off the baby, or did it just grow out of him? I feel like clarifying that wording a bit might be good! ^^ I did appreciate the description though-- I think it was exactly the right amount to let the reader know what the baby looked like without info-dumping!

“Ahhh!” shrieked the nurse, who was holding the baby, dropping the baby into his mother’s arms. That lovely couple fell in love with their purple demon baby.

XD That couple sounds awesome!

I was still pondering that moment of my strange way of coming to this world. Until the bell rang to go home. Oh, what joy that loud ringing gave to me!

Oop okay, I was confused here for a bit. ^^' It's a rather abrupt transition from the birth scene, and I think either having a separator before this paragraph or giving a little more detail here would help the reader feel less disoriented. Maybe you could start by specifying that the "bell" here is a school bell? You could do something like, "The end-of-school bell rang, shaking me out of my thoughts. Oh, what joy that loud ringing gave to me!" Just an idea :]

We quickly looked at each other and yelled “Jinx!” pointing at each other. Melody bent over, laughing and wheezing. Philip and I grinned at each other.

Aww I love this scene here ^-^ They seem like really good friends!

We turned to find Alyssa Callister standing on the sidewalk. The most popular girl in Burrygrate middle school, right there. She had brought her squad with her, about 6 of her cheerleader pals, tall, and probably unhealthily underweight. Looming by them was Alyssa's boyfriend Rider. They all stood behind her with their arms crossed, ready for anything Alyssa said.

Hmm, to me this part just seems a bit cliche, with the mean popular girl and her sidekicks interrupting the protagonists. I know this isn't my story, and maybe you've thought of this already, but I feel like it'd be awesome if Alyssa changes throughout the story so she isn't always the stereotypical popular bully! Like maybe she discovers powers too, and eventually teams up with the protagonists, or maybe the protagonists save her or something? (Just some random ideas ^^) Anyways, those are my thoughts! C:

Within all the pandemonium and the sudden surge of motion on her head, Melody’s glasses slipped off one of her ears, turning a bird flying by to stone. I'd seen her without her hat, but turning things to stone? That’s new!

Oh gosh xD poor bird! I'm also wondering whether these characters have had the same powers since birth, or if Melody just developed the stone gaze power recently? If she's always had the power, why hasn't she told her friends about it before? Was she ashamed of it, or scared of it, or something? Just some questions I'm curious about! ^^

Alright, that's about it for this review. It was super fun to read this, and I hope you keep writing! (These main characters look awesome =D) Have a wonderful day/night!!




JdoggyGirl says...


Thank you for all the wonderful suggestions! I think you%u2019re plot idea for Alyssa eventually becoming their friend too is a great idea! That%u2019s a good question at the end, turning the bird to stone. In the first chapter (which I recommend you read) Melody thinks about turning something else to stone. It%u2019s a little unclear here, I should probably clear that up, but Melody%u2019s friends always knew about her powers, it%u2019s just there%u2019s physically no way for her to turn off her stone-turning part. She wears sunglasses ALL the time and I think he just never had seen her turn something to stone.



Spearmint says...


Ah okay, thanks for the reply!! That's definitely an interesting idea to have Melody not be able to turn off her powers-- I guess she has to be super careful not to lose her glasses or anything 0.0 Thanks for the clarifications!! =D
(Also just a quick tip, because the same thing happened to me before: on mobile, quotation marks and apostrophes turn into these weird %u2019 thingies. Your reply's still readable, but if you want the punctuation to work properly, I think you can either copy & paste the computer kind of punctuation (" and '), or just type on the computer! Hope that helps ^^)
Anyways, thanks again, and I hope you have a great week!! C:



JdoggyGirl says...


Thanks! So thats whats happening. People will just have to deal without apostrophes and stuff because copying and pasting takes time and Im lazy.



Spearmint says...


XD haha valid! Oh and I forgot to say, I've only noticed it for comments on reviews, so I think apostrophes work fine for other things xD



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Wed Jun 02, 2021 1:36 am
TheWarriorMingan wrote a review...



Wow! That was great. I love how you wove some greek mythology into it with the Medusa. Okay, here are my thoughts:

Anyway, Mrs. Tiffany Harris was in the middle of having a baby. Mr. Harris was there too, and saw the upside down baby born. Now, the lovely Harris couple did not know that the curse struck their sweet little baby boy until…

Ohh, a curse!
“Wha, Wha, Whaaa-Graaaaa!” The baby grew twice its size and grew muscles like a Hulkbaby. Hair came off him in a furry purple layer. The baby’s dark blue eyes turned yellow, and his head grew twisted, wicked black horns.

Oh. My. Gosh. What is happening to this child?!
“Ahhh!” shrieked the nurse, who was holding the baby, dropping the baby into his mother’s arms. That lovely couple fell in love with their purple demon baby.

Well, the poor child. ("purple demon baby" LOL!) I love how the parents instantly fell in love with the child. Yeah, it doesn't matter if it's unnaturally colored and has horns!
“Hi, my sweet baby boy!” Mrs. Harris cooed, with as much love and even more than as if she was looking at a normal baby. Instantly the baby stopped crying, and slowly, the purple fur faded away, and the horns vanished, and before her lay a perfectly normal looking little baby, babbling and burbling at his mother. “You are the cutest thing ever, Andy,” she cooed.

Soothed by the mother. I was a little worried there for a second.
Most girls would think she doesn't look cute in her casual fashion. But I think she looks gorgeous, no matter what. I admit it, I have a tiny (Cough, cough, HUGE) crush on Melody.

I love how he coughed!
We quickly looked at each other and yelled “Jinx!” pointing at each other. Melody bent over, laughing and wheezing. Philip and I grinned at each other.

I like it when there's friendship in a story.
“Aww, how boring, Fang Face!” A familiar voice cut her off. We turned to find Alyssa Callister standing on the sidewalk.

Uh oh. Is something big about to happen?
”Schschsch!” Off of Melody’s scalp, coils and coils of acid green vipers rose up and hissed their joy for that hat to be off. Melody’s up-side-down side made her a real-life Medusa.

*Gasp* A Medusa!
Rider screamed, turned tail, and shoved past Alyssa's friends, coward that he is. Alyssa gawked at the snakes for a split second, her mouth drooping open, before dropping the beanie and sprinting off. Within all the pandemonium and the sudden surge of motion on her head, Melody’s glasses slipped off one of her ears, turning a bird flying by to stone. I'd seen her without her hat, but turning things to stone? That’s new!

Wow. The bullies are terrified. I wonder if the stone bird broke when it fell to the ground. Andy doesn't seem at all concerned. LOL.

Overall, this is a great chapter, nothing to correct. I would love to read chapter one, if you have it. Thanks, JdoggyGirl!

-Sincerely, Mingan

Follow your heart and nothing will go wrong. (Concerning writing.)




JdoggyGirl says...


Hmm. How does the the related items thing on the side work? Is it not automatic, I feel I might have missed a setting or something.



JdoggyGirl says...


There we go, just had to republish it with the edits and suggestions people made. Got it.




Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything's different?
— C.S. Lewis