Wow! I've never thought about India in this way, you paint a vivid picture in my imagination. India sounds so beautiful, now I want to go there!
There exists a land,
With culture old as the seas,
Precious is her sand,
A home to all refugees.
Here, wisdom is not
Only for the wise
Even kids' tales are sought,
To guide, and advise.
Traditions are not only
For the orthodox throng
Practices followed nobly,
Thousands years long.
There are forts and temples
In the thousands and lakhs,
Each with own principles
And never any lacks.
Most people will doubt
The existence of such a land,
If they knew not about
Her greatness, firsthand.
This great mother,
With much proud fame
Like her, none other
For INDIA, is her name!
Wow! I've never thought about India in this way, you paint a vivid picture in my imagination. India sounds so beautiful, now I want to go there!
Hey there Phil!
It's a nice poem you've got here, but I'd like to tentatively point out that its accuracy is rather questionable, and as such a lot of non-Indians won't be able to give all the feedback they could have normally, not unless they're really into current affairs of the world.
Practices followed nobly,
Most people will doubt
The existence of such a land,
If they knew not about
Her greatness, firsthand.
Like her, none other
For INDIA, is her name!
Hi! I really loved to poem. It is simple and clear yet touches on the important points of the country and its features.
There are forts and temples
In the thousands and lakhs,
Each with own principles
And never any lacks.
I loved this para; however like illy7896 comments, I too feel that the last sentence, especially the word "lacks" could have been replaced with something more substantial. The lacks; although rhymes, doesn't flow well with the previous verses.
I also loved the last verse:
This great mother,
With much proud fame
Like her, none other
For INDIA, is her name!
Very aptly ended
All in all, a good piece. Keep it up!
Firstly, I love the fairly simple but very effective rhyming scheme that you have applied here and how each verse ties up together and each line corresponds with the other. I think that this is a very creative way to express your love for your country and to perhaps share your own personal view of Indian culture with others which is awesome!
I loved the verse:
There exists a land,
With culture old as the seas,
Precious is her sand,
A home to all refugees.
Each with own principles
And never any lacks.
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