z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

America the Land of the Free

by Swaggerb0y1223


America influenced me

To appreciate our liberties

The sacrifices, pain, and suffering endured

All turned out for the better

America to me

Is the land of the free

And free to be uniquely you

Because diversity is part of America, too

America to me

Is a place of equality

Regardless of sex, race, or ethnicity

America to me

Is the home of the brave

Where people's lives don’t fear the grave

America to me

Is where success reigns supreme,

So anyone can achieve their dream

Many of these freedoms are hard to obtain

With other countries only invested in pain,

To beat their own with the hammer and sickle

And lives tortured by a prickle

America, the land of the free

I’m glad you have rescued me

So,

I'm delighted to say,” I am Free!'


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76 Reviews


Points: 1285
Reviews: 76

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Sat May 08, 2021 11:39 am
Phillauthet wrote a review...



I'm not an American yet this poem touched me. It reminds me of my own land, where many people fought for the freedom enjoyed now. It's amazing how you express your feelings perfectly through your words. Just one thing, in that line :

I'm delighted to say,” I am Free!'

You could write it as :

I'm delighted to say, "I am Free!"




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67 Reviews


Points: 10954
Reviews: 67

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Fri May 07, 2021 4:40 pm
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Zyria wrote a review...



Hiya Ashlyn here for a review!! Before I dive into it though please know that this review is not intended to offend you or make your writing look bad.

I'm delighted to say,” I am Free!'

Looks like you have an inconsistent amount of quotation marks there, also there's a bit of spacing issues <33
To appreciate our liberties

The sacrifices, pain, and suffering endured

All turned out for the better

You perfectly embody the heart of the patriotic spirit here-pain and sacrifice and how our forefathers were determined to make sure it all turned out for the better. I seriously appreciate those lines <33
So anyone can achieve their dream

Many of these freedoms are hard to obtain

THANK YOU FOR RECOGNIZING THAT FREEDOM COMES AT A COST <333
I feel like Americans take their freedom for granted, and now days with all the realizations that the founding fathers weren't Gods and owned slaves etc I think most people these days no longer care about everything they went through to make sure this generation would even exist.
To beat their own with the hammer and sickle

And lives tortured by a prickle

Impressive rhyming <333
That concludes this review. I hope you found it helpful, and if not, I hope it at least made you smile <333
-Ashlyn




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31 Reviews


Points: 51
Reviews: 31

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Fri May 07, 2021 12:07 pm
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BlueGlow wrote a review...



This is an excellent poem! I could see this in a book of folk poems. I love the tie in of the hammer and sycle as a way to symbolize opressive governments. That was an excellent little touch. The flow of the poem as well is really well done, good flow makes great poems. All in all an excellent, patriotic piece. Absolutely brilliant!





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