Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Lyrical

E - Everyone

My Sister

by anne27


They compare me to her

To find me inferior

Ad it does make me sad

Even though I seem brave from the exterior.

-

And often tears come faster than the rain

And oh! The indescribable burning pain

My inner critic gives me 24/7

Is soon going to make me insane

-

'She's more obedient and scholarly

And I'm all that too- just conversely

She's better and better, I'm worse and worse

Those comments making me live somberly

-

But does she really believe in those talks

Why doesn't she ever want to walk in my socks

A sister failing to understand another's pain

With her every cruel word, it's me she shocks.

-

Don't let the praises get to your head

I tell her, when we go to bed

She thinks I'm being nasty and all

At that, my tears well- unshed.

-

I've been rude to her too, I remember

Hurt by the words of my family member

But can't she forgive me for my mistakes- after all,

People do these things when their heart is an ember.

-

I was tired, miserable, filled with gloom

She could've made my life bloom

Didn't she remember all the things I did

When she was upset, lying in our room.

-

I wrote poetry exclusively for her

All those times, we argued- I asked myself to deter

I stopped myself to upset you, and after I did

There were only nice words I had to confer

-

I care about my self- esteem

And I know sometimes it might seem

That it's more than I care for her- but no!

Seeing her with me, is still my happiest dream.

-

I do really love her though

Even if we do get in a row'

I'm the one more eager for reunion

While 'her' love, she doesn't show.

-

She thinks she wasn't rightly served

I feel, I wasn't given what I deserved

But isn't it human nature, you tell,

That we never forever truly feel loved.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
5 Reviews


Points: 561
Reviews: 5

Donate
Tue May 04, 2021 1:02 am
View Likes
Rodionandaxe wrote a review...



Hi! I am here for a little review,

Good job on continuously rhyming throughout the poem, rhyming makes a poem really pleasant to read. As someone who writes poetry i often find it hard to rhyme and make sense at the same time. (I am in shock that this line rhymes, what an irony.)

What i find most pleasant about your poem is how i can feel your changing emotions at different moments. The flow with which the poem expresses hate, despair, envy, justification, and then the unconditional love thàt can usually only bloom among those of kin. The ending is divine, i have read poems with abrupt endings and i think it kind of spoils a good piece, but the last stanza in this one gives it a good and thoughtful conclusion.

I can't really think of any criticism i would like to offer, i thoroughly enjoyed your poem. Poems like these that seem to speak personally to whoever reads are what i love most and this one is definitely among my favourites.

As someone who has a sister i understand that it can be sometimes difficult to communicate and let each other know about our feelings and our pain.
Comparisons like that never help anybody, it only increases hostility. I hope you and your sister can find ways to stop feeling bitter about each other. Also don't be blue, we are all unique and capable in our own ways and we don't need to prove it to others who are biased and unfair. :)

Keep writing such lovely pieces <3




anne27 says...


Thank you so much for those beautiful words Rodionandaxe!! Hmm that's so true and yet hard to do- that we do not need to prove ourselves to others :D



Rodionandaxe says...


<3



User avatar
22 Reviews


Points: 5701
Reviews: 22

Donate
Mon May 03, 2021 9:01 pm
View Likes
AshlynPhoenix wrote a review...



Hiya Ashlyn here for a review!! Before I dive into it though please know that this review is not intended to offend you or make your writing look bad.

They compare me to her

To find me inferior

Ad it does make me sad

Even though I seem brave from the exterior.

Aasdfhasdfashdfljhh this can be felt <333 Idk why, but it seems to be human nature to compare people with little regard for anything else-such as relationships, the happiness of the person(s) being compared to and you know what? It's just not right <33
No one is inferior just because they don't measure up to someone elses messed up standards.
And absolutely no one should have to put on a brave exterior to hide pain <33
What if you wrote it this way instead-

i don't mind being compared
only to be found inferior
and it doesn't matter
for my self worth is define by my bravery

This has a healthier message to it.
It implies that the immature little comparisons our parents make aren't the things that define us. Yes those comparisons can effect our self-esteem, and maybe even make us feel like curling into a ball and giving up, but guess what?
Who has the power in this situation?
You not anything your mother says.
You know why?
Because YOU and YOU alone have the power to define your self-worth. Anything other people say is technically illusionary (for lack of a better word) because the world is viewed through your perspective, and everyone else is merely the result of the brain processes that help you see, hear, and feel, therefore it's you that gives anything meaning.
And you can choose to ignore those comparisons and define your own self worth.
And you know what you are defined by when you decide your own self-worth? Brave <33
'She's more obedient and scholarly

And I'm all that too- just conversely

She's better and better, I'm worse and worse

Those comments making me live somberly

That word conversely :(
'She's better and better, I'm worse and worse' that's an exact description of that kind of situation. And yes-it breaks my heart to see anyone have to write that <33
Honestly, I'm going through a similar thing with my younger brother.
I used to be viewed as the mature, intelligent sibling, who could write like an adult, and draw beautifully where as my bro was always the one blamed for being doing the wrong thing, and getting angry to easily.
Now, that he's gotten older (still younger then me, but not as young as he used to be) and learned to control his temper a bit, I've been dethroned.
He's now the mature one with all the interesting, intelligent observations and thoughts, and he's become a better drawer then I am.
To make things worse he really does have a better sense of humor then me but anyway...it feels like I've been reduced to someone whose only strength is kindness which isn't the only strength I want to be defined by :(
So yeah, a wedge has grown and it does feel like my brother is 'getting better and better' while I'm just 'getting worse and worse'.
Aadfjhsadfjhasdfjkhh what is it with society and measuring someones worth by how obedient and scholarly they are to resume commentary? Why can't worth be defined by their capacity to feel, or by how maturely they handle tough situations?
Intelligence is a subjective thing, but being able to feel and maturely handle situations? Those are things that are universally impressive traits that are increasingly lacking in this world.
Honestly, the ignorance of your mother (I'm assuming your mother is the one comparing you to your sister) astounds me.
She's completely missing the fact that you are your own person and that the things you supposedly struggle with shouldn't be defined or compared to the things that another person does well.
She's triply ignorant for thinking perfection is your sisters one defining trait. I'll bet you my last dollar she has plenty of faults. She's a sister after all :P

I do really love her though

Even if we do get in a row'

I'm the one more eager for reunion

While 'her' love, she doesn't show.

Sisterly love is eternal rather it's returned or not <33 See, this is one area where you seem superior to your sister-your more willing to express your love for her.
Uadfadsfhdfjhasfdjkhsfh that concludes this...not so very review like review :P I hope it helped, and I hope your relationship with your sister gets better <33
-Ashlyn




anne27 says...


Thanks a lot for that review Ashlyn!! Yes, I do get what you're trying to say, but I don't think it would be wise editing this one to Make the first stanza healthier cause this poem essentially talks about how comparisons can ruin your relationships. Rather, I think it would be a great idea to write a whole new poem on dealing with comparisons in a better manner. Thanks so much for expressing that.

Aww, I hope you can also identity your own unique qualities like the amazing person you are and such a great observer. <3 Hope its not affecting your relationship with your brother.

No, its not my mother but NP, I like the way you use her example to explain the point.

I'll bet you my last dollar she has plenty of faults. She's a sister after all :P


This surely put a smile on my face :P

Thanks a lot again. Reading this made my day :D





Your welcome, glad I could help <33



anne27 says...


<3



User avatar
49 Reviews


Points: 1093
Reviews: 49

Donate
Mon May 03, 2021 6:57 pm
View Likes
BEASTtheHUN wrote a review...



I love this poem. For someone who has an abundance of siblings (15), I personally have had some bad blood with my sister. She sees me as an annoying younger brother. Anyway, this poem is kind of relatable for me. My mom used to hold up my sister as the perfect model of everything. It used to really hurt me. Anyway, the language is straight and to the point and makes it really nice and easy to understand. I like the last line. I don't have any criticism only praise. THis is really good, and thanks for the good read. Until next time!




anne27 says...


Aww.. Thank you for those kind words :)



User avatar
74 Reviews


Points: 482
Reviews: 74

Donate
Mon May 03, 2021 6:35 pm
View Likes
MomoMajesty says...



<3




anne27 says...


Thank you for giving me your heart :D




Be careful or be roadkill.
— Calvin