First of all, lemme just say I love your formatting! It looks SOO COOL!!
I've heard of poets that paint pictures with their words, but your poem is like a multi-sensory experience. I can smell the coffee, and hear the grandfather clock.
I love how you used the word staccato in this line:
then a solemn staccato of gunshots
I really like this part, as I feel like putting these in separate lines puts a lot of emphasis on your point in this part:
One
two
three
four grenades
On the whole, it was a wonderful error-free poem. Can't wait to read more of your work.
Keep writing.
Points: 40
Reviews: 78
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