Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Well this was a really fun little story to read. I love the buildup of tension there at the start and I love always love a nice happy ending like that...yeah...I really liked this.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Olivia sat down in her dusty old chair. She picked at the old black leather on the seat, grumbling, "When is she gonna be back...". Looking up at the old window above her desk, she frowned. It was cold and rainy outside, and Elizabeth had been gone for a while. Actually, a bit too long. She was just going to the store to grab a few snacks.
Well we're off to a pretty standard start here. Its fairly attention grabby, its certainly not a bad thing to have as an opening paragraph, it does work out fairly well here in the story. It sort of sets the scene as well which is also nice to see.
Standing up, Olivia paced around, biting her lower lip. It wasn't like Elizabeth to just straight up not come home. She pulled out her phone and dialed for her lover. No response. She always picked up right away! Olivia clenched her fist, starting to breathe heavily, hoping she was okay.
Building up some tension there quite slowly and nicely, I like that too...its coming along quite well here to whatever's gonna end up happening here.
After a while more of waiting, Olivia started struggling to breathe and she began feeling light-headed. If Elizabeth was going to go somewhere else, she surely would have told her, right? This really wasn't like Elizabeth, to just not answer calls and come home late.
And it continues to escalate...so far this is going along really well, you can certainly feel the
start to get worse.
She walked into the kitchen, grabbing a knife and staring at it for a moment. She brought her trembling hand up and placed the knife on her wrist. She was just about to start dragging the blade on her wrist, when the door opened.
Oooh...and we hit the peak here I see....really getting into the whole paranoia of the situation which makes a nice little climax here before it all gets defused afterwards somewhat.
"Olivia? I'm home!", Elizabeth's gentle voice rang throughout the house. Olivia immediately dropped the knife and ran to her lover, throwing her arms around her. Elizabeth's eyes widened, "Hey, what's this all about?", She giggled, placing the bags down.
"You had me worried sick! I thought something bad had happened... You came home later than expected, and then you didn't answer the phone..."
Well...that's certainly a nice surprise there...not too many short stories such as this ending on good notes...so a pleasant surprise because I am a big fan of happy endings
"Baby...", Elizabeth smiled softly, "The lines were long, and there was traffic. And, my phone died. There was nothing to be worried about...", She mumbled, pulling Olivia close to her chest.
"Oh...", Olivia sighed. Elizabeth reached her and down and gently pecked her lips.
"Don't worry. I'm here."
Aww...a nice and cute little ending there....very satisfying to read indeed. Also wow...that is a very unfortunate set of circumstances to create that situation.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall I think this a pretty well written little story. It doesn't try to be too complicated. Its still getting across a nice amount of information. It leaves a smile on your face at the end. Its just a nice little story.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 253788
Reviews: 4099
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