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The Augury of RiverClan - 3.3

by TheScribe


"It's nice to meet you, Applepaw," the RiverClan apprentice mewed. "I'm Ripplepaw. How are you?"

"I'm excited," she purred, whisking her tail side to side. "It's been moons since I've gotten to go to a Gathering!"

"Same!" Ripplepaw happily sat down beside the ThunderClan cat. "Last time I was here, Lightningsong had just retired and wanted me and my littermates all to go. That was when Pinkeyes and Minnowfeather were still apprentices." When Pinkeyes was still alive, he added silently to himself.

"The Gathering may begin!" Antstar called weakly over the din. "ShadowClan fared the flood rather well. The prey continues to run, though our paws are a bit wetter than expected." He turned to Shrewstar. "What does SkyClan have to report?"

The yellow-eyed cat mewed, "Rivermist has given birth to a healthy litter of three kits. Since the last Gathering, we have made Oatpaw an apprentice, and Quietstorm has become a warrior."

"Quietstorm! Quietstorm!" the Clans cheered. Ripplepaw say the SkyClan she-cat holding her head high as the cats celebrated her change in rank.

Shadeflower went next. "Flintstar has also given birth to three kits: Rabbitkit, Stonekit, and Owlkit. She chose not to attend to Gathering tonight, so I am taking her place for the time being. Spiderclaw and Cedarmist have both retired."

"Spiderclaw! Cedarmist!"

"We fought off a badger two sunrises ago and it made it's way towards the Carrionplace," Shadeflower continued, glancing at Antstar. "I ask that ShadowClan please be careful."

Shorestar sat up. "RiverClan lost one of our warriors during the flood; Barkfur has joined StarClan. We made two new warriors, Pinkeyes and Minnowfeather--" the cats started to cheer, but the RiverCan leader held up a paw for silence-- "but sadly Pinkeyes also joined StarClan after ThunderClan invaded our territory."

There were murmurs of confusion from the other Clans. "I think you mean our territory," Flamingstar chuckled. "We chased you patrol off, but not before you could murder Peltstone in cold blood."

Shorestar's eyes flashed angrily and several cats tensed. Ripplepaw watched his mother carefully; was she going to start a war?

"The Sunningrocks belongs to RiverClan. It has belonged to RiverClan since Riverstar founded it." Shorestar lashed her tail as she spoke, bitterness filling her mew. "Any deaths are not the fault of RiverClan; you trespassed, Flamingstar. You led the patrol. Any reasonable leader would've waited for our patrol and come to speak to us in a manner befitting a real Clan."

"ThunderClan is just as much a Clan as the others," Flamingstar hissed.

"Hush, both of you," a gray cat called. "StarClan would not want us to fight at a Gathering!"

"Honeypaw is right," Aspenthroat agreed, looking at Antstar. "The Clans mustn't fight."

"They haven't covered the moon," Shadeflower pointed out, looking at the clear sky. "They must want us to settle it now... WindClan will have to discuss the issue with Flintstar after we return home."

"The land belongs to RiverClan, I think," Antstar said.

"I am inclined to agree," added Shrewstar.

Flamingstar's eyes flared with rage. "Our ancestors changed the course of the river. That land is ours..." He paused and sniffed the air. "If we must, though, we will discuss it another day. with the death of Peltstone--" he narrowed his eyes at Strikeclaw-- "I have appointed Morningstep our deputy. Lynxpaw and Wolfpaw have been apprenticed."

"Morningstep! Lynxpaw! Wolfpaw!"

"Is there anything else to report?" Flamingstar asked. The other leaders shook their heads. "Then the Gathering is over."

Applepaw glanced at Ripplepaw. "Did Leafpaw really kill that cat?" she mewed sadly.

Ripplepaw looked away. "She did..."

"Ripplepaw!" Havenpaw's harsh hiss interrupted the pair before Applepaw could reply. "Why are you talking to a ThunderClan cat? They murdered Pinkeyes and trespassed on our land!"

"We're allowed to get to know other cats--"

"You shouldn't be talking to ThunderClan. Have you already forgotten what they did?" his brother's sharp mew replied.

"No cat has forgotten Pinkeyes," Quickflash interrupted as she and Strikeclaw padded over. "I told Ripplepaw to get to know some of the other cats. He can be a bit too shy sometimes."

"Even so, tensions are a bit high for new friendships," Strikeclaw added. "Ripplepaw was being admirable by reaching out to another cat because of it. You ought to be ashamed, Havenpaw. Mothear will be hearing about your behaviour." Ripplepaw couldn't help but beam. Strikeclaw had praised him? It was easier to get a kittypet to eat a mouse than to pull a compliment from the senior warrior. "Now let's get home."

Ripplepaw looked at Applepaw. "It was nice to meet you," he purred.

"You, too," she purred. "I'll see you again one day."


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Fri Apr 23, 2021 1:25 pm
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Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with back with another review!

I really liked this section! The interactions between everyone were super well-written, I thought, and really loved seeing how the gathering played out! I think it was super well written, and I'm looking forward to see what happens next!

One thing I really enjoyed about this was the dialogue! I thought all the interactions between people were really nicely executed. I especially loved the growing friendship between Ripplepaw and Applepaw. I think it's really cute and kind of shows the innocence of their characters. Each character that spoke has a very distinct language signature and it's just so well done. It's so three-dimensional, and— augh I just love it so much.

One thing I wondered about was how calm everyone was, for the most part. Death is a very serious thing to happen, and I would think that the Clans would have more resentment between them, especially if a member of Thunderclan killed a member of Riverclan. However, I don't know how things work in this world, so maybe this is normal.

Specifics

"If we must, though, we will discuss it another day. with the death of Peltstone--"


This is a tiny thing, but I just noticed you forgot to capitalize "with."

Overall: nice work! I'm really looking forward to reading more of it. Until next time!!




TheScribe says...


Ty for the review!!!



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Sat Mar 20, 2021 3:58 pm
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starlitmind wrote a review...



HELLO. <3

"It's been moons since I've gotten to go to a Gathering!"


Ooh, I like this adaptation of the phrase "it's been ages" -> it's like a neat little detail of their language / the world they live in c:

When Pinkeyes was still alive, he added silently to himself.


adsfhjk pain :(

"Spiderclaw! Cedarmist!"


I like how we continuously see the cheering of the names of those who went through something important (changed status, retired, etc.) -> it gives you insight to what the community is like and what the standard practices are

but sadly Pinkeyes also joined StarClan after ThunderClan invaded our territory.


"joined StarClan" eep that's such a sad way to put that </3
Also, uh-oh, "our territory" -> there's going to be a fight, isn't there? 0.0

Shorestar lashed her tail as she spoke, bitterness filling her mew.


nice action here to describe her feelings! :)

"Hush, both of you," a gray cat called. "StarClan would not want us to fight at a Gathering!"


Oh phew, I was hoping somebody would say something like that and stop the fight >.<
I do feel like there should be some sort of clan meeting between the two so they can get this settled out, ending further conflict xD

"They haven't covered the moon," Shadeflower pointed out, looking at the clear sky. "They must want us to settle it now...


OHH so that's super interesting!! I know the moon is a very important thing to them, but the fact that whether the moon is covered or not is a sign to them also is super neat!! c:

Honestly, something I'm kind of feeling from this meeting is that they take deaths kind of lightly? No one seems very saddened / disturbed / etc. by it. it's kind of like "he died, so this cat is going to take over now." I feel like it's strict, and maybe stoic? they're just trying to keep the clan together with proper leaders, and if someone dies, they focus on replacing them instead of mourning them. Idk, that's the kinda feeling I've been getting xD

"The land belongs to RiverClan, I think," Antstar said.

"I am inclined to agree," added Shrewstar.


ME TOO

"Ripplepaw!" Havenpaw's harsh hiss interrupted the pair before Applepaw could reply. "Why are you talking to a ThunderClan cat? They murdered Pinkeyes and trespassed on our land!"


OH MY GOSH ARE THEY GOING TO HAVE A ROMEO AND JULIET SORTA LOVE AHHHHH please don't make it tragic :'( ( although, that would be kind of fun and exciting ,, as long as no one dies :O )

"No cat has forgotten Pinkeyes," Quickflash interrupted as she and Strikeclaw padded over. "I told Ripplepaw to get to know some of the other cats. He can be a bit too shy sometimes."


YES QUICKFLASH TO THE RESCUE

Strikeclaw had praised him? It was easier to get a kittypet to eat a mouse than to pull a compliment from the senior warrior.


okay so maybe they won't have to be friends in secret, that's good, hopefully nothing tragic will happen then xD AND YAYAY COMPLIMENT FROM YOUR SENIOR, that's awesome! ^_^

Ripplepaw looked at Applepaw. "It was nice to meet you," he purred.

"You, too," she purred. "I'll see you again one day."


Omg yes I really hope they do c:

RIPPLEPAW YOU SHOULD'VE ASKED HER IF SHE WAS FREE THE NEXT DAY TO DO SOMETHING WITH YOU, WHO KNOWS WHEN YOU WILL GET THE CHANCE TO SEE HER AGAIN!! sorry, I am invested xD

I don't really have much to say for this chapter! One of the main things that stood out to me in this chapter was how much of an idea that I got for the cats' traditions. This festival was a really nice insight into their regular practices. You can tell they're quite systematic since they've been keeping track of everything that has been going on in their clan and then reporting it so everyone is aware of what is going on in every single clan. That also makes it seem like these clans have been around for a long time, seeing as to how stable their system is. It was nice to get an insight into their traditional practices! ^_^

I really hope RiverClan and ThunderClan get their differences solved soon; it would be absolutely terrible for another fight to break out between them 0.0 I don't really find fault with one clan; I think each clan has a bit of fault in the problem. I just wished they solved it with words, not claws >.>

ALSO I am rooting for Ripplepaw and Applepaw, please don't do anything to them or I will be very sad :'(




TheScribe says...


Oh phew, I was hoping somebody would say something like that and stop the fight >.<
I do feel like there should be some sort of clan meeting between the two so they can get this settled out, ending further conflict xD

Yes, Honeypaw is awesome that way uwu
I'm actually curious to see who you think should own the land~

Honestly, something I'm kind of feeling from this meeting is that they take deaths kind of lightly? No one seems very saddened / disturbed / etc. by it. it's kind of like "he died, so this cat is going to take over now." I feel like it's strict, and maybe stoic? they're just trying to keep the clan together with proper leaders, and if someone dies, they focus on replacing them instead of mourning them. Idk, that's the kinda feeling I've been getting xD

So, like, generally the other Clans wouldn't be sad cause-- "he wasn't one of us, we don't give a dip" is a major mentality here XD And ThunderClan has already mourned and buried him, so now they just are trying to get on with their lives. The replacements have to be made quickly tho because ~reasons~ uwu

ME TOO

That answers that XDDDD

YES QUICKFLASH TO THE RESCUE

ISN'T SHE AWESOME???

RIPPLEPAW YOU SHOULD'VE ASKED HER IF SHE WAS FREE THE NEXT DAY TO DO SOMETHING WITH YOU, WHO KNOWS WHEN YOU WILL GET THE CHANCE TO SEE HER AGAIN!! sorry, I am invested xD

That's the point of semi-forbidden relationships tho XD They'll see one another again soon, don't worry~

I really hope RiverClan and ThunderClan get their differences solved soon; it would be absolutely terrible for another fight to break out between them 0.0 I don't really find fault with one clan; I think each clan has a bit of fault in the problem. I just wished they solved it with words, not claws >.>

But then Havenpaw wouldn't get to grow as a character and I'd have no story to tell, would I? <.<

ALSO I am rooting for Ripplepaw and Applepaw, please don't do anything to them or I will be very sad :'(

NO NEED TO FEAR yet I HAVE NOTHING DRASTIC AND SAD PLANNED RN FOR THOSE TWO




Cheat your landlord if you can and must, but do not try to shortchange the Muse. It cannot be done. You can’t fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal.
— William S. Burroughs