z

Young Writers Society


16+

Dear,pain

by EsmerayaRose


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

Dear pain,

We've been together for so much time, I lost track counting the years. I had felt you in multiple ways, Physically, mentally, emotionally. I felt I was a broken heart when my parents went their ways. I felt you as depression. I felt you as a bruised leg. I felt harassed, disappointed as an abandonment. As this sharp pain in my back that doesn't seem to fade. I felt as loneliness crept up on me and just swallowed me down whole. I still to this day feel like an orphan in my own home. There's more but you know all about the late-night crying. The sleeping pills I had to take for me to just sleep. The waking up at the crack of dawn because it felt like someone just took a knife and implied it to my chest so I wake up with chest pain. You know it all.

As much as I'm used to having you around I think it's time we go our separate ways. See times change and the past is long gone. Even know it haunts me to this day but I can't keep doing this. You are pushing me to the point I just don't want to live. My life has become a constant nightmare. The reason why I feel you in my back well is that I've been carrying these past events for too long this story that I keep repeating to myself the same symphony that's been playing over and over again. I'm tired of rereading it. I'm tired of putting up with it. I'm tired of listening to it.

Nothing is forever and neither is our relationship, I love you and I'm thankful for you because if it wasn't for you then I wouldn't be able to realize what everyone was too blind to see. That the world is dying, but that's a story for another day. I wouldn't be able to learn all these valuable lessons. I can't give this life up, not yet. I think we're better off not spending so much time together anymore.

You gave me a lot but you also took a lot out of me. Especially energy and I hereby take my power back. You're a big part of my story but, I won't let the story go so far and you have all of its control over me in the present moment anymore. I'm fully aware of what's wrong with me. I'm fully aware of the looks I get when friends walk in the doctor's office and see me sitting there getting blood taken out of my arm. I'm fully aware of everything now. Thank you for making me feel what others were too blind to know. I have to let you go now. We're probably going to see each other again sometime but just know next time I won't let you stay. I won't make myself suffer. I'll take the lessons and then you'll have to go. Thank you, I love you but from a distance.

From-Ari


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58 Reviews


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Fri May 07, 2021 7:16 pm
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YourFriendQuirks08 wrote a review...



I love this so much! I can really relate ; so it gives a whole new meaning to this piece of writing...it hits hard and deep, just how the pain must have hit you.

This has really inspired me to start a poem about this (DON'T WORRY I AM WRITING IT DIFFERENTLY) just because of how beautiful it sounds and how it gracefully flows, despite the alarming topic.

Carry on writing, you have a talent. However, just know that I am here for you whenever. please don't feel ashamed to drop me a PM, i am here for you!

Love Rubes x




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Thu Mar 18, 2021 3:10 pm
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RandomTalks says...



Hello I am here for a quick review!

First of all, let me say that your letter was so beautifully written; it's one of those things that makes you think hard for sometime and leaves you quiet. It was short and direct and I love everything about it.

"We've been together for so much time, I lost track counting the years. I had felt you in multiple ways, Physically, mentally, emotionally. I felt I was a broken heart when my parents went their ways. I felt you as depression. I felt you as a bruised leg. I felt harassed, disappointed as an abandonment. As this sharp pain in my back that doesn't seem to fade. I felt as loneliness crept up on me and just swallowed me down whole. I still to this day feel like an orphan in my own home. There's more but you know all about the late-night crying. The sleeping pills I had to take for me to just sleep. The waking up at the crack of dawn because it felt like someone just took a knife and implied it to my chest so I wake up with chest pain. You know it all."

From the very first paragraph I was hooked. It is a very strong beginning and you just want to know how it ends. Also the way you ended the paragraph with "You know it all," was brilliant.

"Nothing is forever and neither is our relationship, I love you and I'm thankful for you because if it wasn't for you then I wouldn't be able to realize what everyone was too blind to see. That the world is dying, but that's a story for another day. I wouldn't be able to learn all these valuable lessons."

This part made me very curious about what the narrator actually went through. You never did make that clear but to be honest it works very well into the whole thing.

"You gave me a lot but you also took a lot out of me. Especially energy and I hereby take my power back."

This line was so strong and powerful. It feels like a declaration from the narrator, an announcement; and it really makes you root for the person.

"We're probably going to see each other again sometime but just know next time I won't let you stay. I won't make myself suffer. I'll take the lessons and then you'll have to go. Thank you, I love you but from a distance."

Wow! I loved that ending. It shows such a positive outlook towards life and leaves you feeling strong and in control of yourself.

You delivered so many emotions through your writing and you absolutely nailed it. There were a few grammatical errors I noticed, especially in the second paragraph. I would suggest rereading it, but overall, it was beautiful.

I hope I was able to help. Keep up the brilliant work!




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659 Reviews


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Thu Mar 18, 2021 3:10 pm
RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hello I am here for a quick review!

First of all, let me say that your letter was so beautifully written; it's one of those things that makes you think hard for sometime and leaves you quiet. It was short and direct and I love everything about it.

"We've been together for so much time, I lost track counting the years. I had felt you in multiple ways, Physically, mentally, emotionally. I felt I was a broken heart when my parents went their ways. I felt you as depression. I felt you as a bruised leg. I felt harassed, disappointed as an abandonment. As this sharp pain in my back that doesn't seem to fade. I felt as loneliness crept up on me and just swallowed me down whole. I still to this day feel like an orphan in my own home. There's more but you know all about the late-night crying. The sleeping pills I had to take for me to just sleep. The waking up at the crack of dawn because it felt like someone just took a knife and implied it to my chest so I wake up with chest pain. You know it all."

From the very first paragraph I was hooked. It is a very strong beginning and you just want to know how it ends. Also the way you ended the paragraph with "You know it all," was brilliant.

"Nothing is forever and neither is our relationship, I love you and I'm thankful for you because if it wasn't for you then I wouldn't be able to realize what everyone was too blind to see. That the world is dying, but that's a story for another day. I wouldn't be able to learn all these valuable lessons."

This part made me very curious about what the narrator actually went through. You never did make that clear but to be honest it works very well into the whole thing.

"You gave me a lot but you also took a lot out of me. Especially energy and I hereby take my power back."

This line was so strong and powerful. It feels like a declaration from the narrator, an announcement; and it really makes you root for the person.

"We're probably going to see each other again sometime but just know next time I won't let you stay. I won't make myself suffer. I'll take the lessons and then you'll have to go. Thank you, I love you but from a distance."

Wow! I loved that ending. It shows such a positive outlook towards life and leaves you feeling strong and in control of yourself.

You delivered so many emotions through your writing and you absolutely nailed it. There were a few grammatical errors I noticed, especially in the second paragraph. I would suggest rereading it, but overall, it was beautiful.

I hope I was able to help. Keep up the brilliant work!




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Tue Mar 16, 2021 2:56 pm
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!!

First Impression: This is a pretty well written little short here. You've captured the emotions here beautifully and it leaves you feeling pretty good one you read and that just makes it even better.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Dear pain,

We've been together for so much time, I lost track counting the years. I had felt you in multiple ways, Physically, mentally, emotionally. I felt I was a broken heart when my parents went their ways. I felt you as depression. I felt you as a bruised leg. I felt harassed, disappointed as an abandonment. As this sharp pain in my back that doesn't seem to fade. I felt as loneliness crept up on me and just swallowed me down whole. I still to this day feel like an orphan in my own home. There's more but you know all about the late-night crying. The sleeping pills I had to take for me to just sleep. The waking up at the crack of dawn because it felt like someone just took a knife and implied it to my chest so I wake up with chest pain. You know it all.


Oh wow...that is a very powerful opening paragraph that you've got there. It instantly lets us know that things are going very very badly for this person and it just hits you very quickly with a ton of very powerful emotion right there. Really well written opening here.

As much as I'm used to having you around I think it's time we go our separate ways. See times change and the past is long gone. Even know it haunts me to this day but I can't keep doing this. You are pushing me to the point I just don't want to live. My life has become a constant nightmare. The reason why I feel you in my back well is that I've been carrying these past events for too long this story that I keep repeating to myself the same symphony that's been playing over and over again. I'm tired of rereading it. I'm tired of putting up with it. I'm tired of listening to it.


Aaand its continuing really well from there...building up on that and then referencing the backstory of it here really does a great job of making this all seem very realistic and really make you feel all the emotion.

Nothing is forever and neither is our relationship, I love you and I'm thankful for you because if it wasn't for you then I wouldn't be able to realize what everyone was too blind to see. That the world is dying, but that's a story for another day. I wouldn't be able to learn all these valuable lessons. I can't give this life up, not yet. I think we're better off not spending so much time together anymore.


Well that's quite a nice take on the whole pain angle. Rather than sinking into the depression, learning from it and learning to move forward. That was a pretty inspiring passage you got right there.

You gave me a lot but you also took a lot out of me. Especially energy and I hereby take my power back. You're a big part of my story but, I won't let the story go so far and you have all of its control over me in the present moment anymore. I'm fully aware of what's wrong with me. I'm fully aware of the looks I get when friends walk in the doctor's office and see me sitting there getting blood taken out of my arm. I'm fully aware of everything now. Thank you for making me feel what others were too blind to know. I have to let you go now. We're probably going to see each other again sometime but just know next time I won't let you stay. I won't make myself suffer. I'll take the lessons and then you'll have to go. Thank you, I love you but from a distance.


Well that's quite a beautiful ending to this letter. A ending that I didn't see coming but an ending that I love nonetheless.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall I think you've done a great job here and I honestly don't really have anything to point out here.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry





Adventure is worthwhile.
— Aesop