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The Sorcerers of Hisderat, Chapter 7.1

by HarryHardy


Evelyn composed herself before she strode into Stevenson’s office, briefcase clutched tightly in her hands, and set it on the desk.

Stevenson turned a critical eye towards the case, not bothering to even glance at her. She waited, anticipation building as Stevenson continued to study the case intensely. The heck is this guy looking for on that stupid thing. It has no identifying marks on it.

After five minutes of staring at the case, Stevenson finally looked up.

“I see you’ve acquired it,” he said, finally meeting her eyes.

She bit back a retort and nodded.

“I want you to get this opened and get started on the key and the door. I believe the team has uncovered some promising leads that could lead us straight to the door. Which one you pursue first is entirely up to you but they must both be done.”

“What about the other case?” asked Evelyn, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“It is of no concern at the moment,” he said, an air of finality in his voice. Evelyn wasn’t going to take that though. You made me puncture a freaking lung trying to get both cases. You better have an explanation.

“But…”

“No buts, leave now and get started. I don’t like to have to repeat myself,” he said, voice low and deliberate.

Evelyn nodded and grabbed the case off the desk, striding out, head held high. She marched towards the room where the research for the door was taking place. Guess I’ll see what those morons have dug up and then decide.

She quickened her pace, marching along the battleworn corridor towards her destination. As she walked she remembered the accusation that the stupid dirt man had been about to level at her. That idiot has no idea what he’s talking about. He has no idea.

She was broken out of her reverie as she arrived at the doors. She stepped inside.

It was just as busy as it had been the last time she had been in there. The only difference was that there appeared to be some purpose now. It no longer looked like everyone was running around doing whatever they felt like. There were teams of people each poring over separate artefacts, maps and computer screens. Guess they did actually find some clues. That would be a first for these morons.

Still lost in thought, she wandered over to a table at the center of the room and plopped down the briefcase, slamming it down with a thud to get their attention. All eyes turned to her.

“The briefcase has been found,” she announced, raising her voice,” I will need some help in cracking it open so that we can find the map to the key.”

“Where is the other case?” asked someone. Evelyn couldn’t recognize the voice.

“Not with us at the moment but Stevenson declared that it is of no concern. Hence we shall proceed with this case,” she said.

“Can’t you unlock it yourself?” asked another man, Ford, she recalled, face twisted into a sneer.

“If I could I wouldn’t be asking now would I?” shot back Evelyn,” don’t ask silly questions like that. No who is going to help me get this case open?”

There was a staring contest as each of the cursebreakers tried to stare each other into agreeing to work with Evelyn. Evelyn glanced at them with disdain. How hard is it for one of them to just volunteer? Time wasting idiots that have no sense of the importance of what's happening here. She continued glaring at them as they continued to be hesitant to volunteer. It was almost childish how they appeared like a group of school children asked to volunteer to answer a question.

Evelyn tapped her foot against the floor, the sound steadily increasing in intensity as the wait stretched on and the number of volunteers still remained at zero. After a minute-long wait, and some veiled threats with her hand ‘accidently’ lighting up and glowing an eerie green, one person finally decided to volunteer to help her open the case.

“Thank you,” Evelyn said,” now we can get started on this. Everybody else; go back to you stations and keep working. I don’t believe that we will need anybody else for this.”

She turned to the man that had agreed to help. She couldn’t recognize him.

“And you are?” she asked.

“Rajsina,” replied the man.

“Rajsina what?” she asked.

“Just Rajsina, ma’am. Never had a surname and I don’t think I ever will,” the man said, a guarded expression on his face. Evelyn knew when it was time to avoid pressing for too much information. Not like I need to know these idiots anyway. The less I know the better. They’re all the same anyway.

“Well, Rajsina, I need to know how long it will take to get this open,” she stated, keeping her voice clear and professional.

“This will take a minimum of six hours just to finish the diagnostics, judging by the size of it,” replied the man, the look on his face suggesting that Evelyn had forgotten some basic principle of magic.

“I need this to happen now,” she demanded,” how can it possibly take so long to figure out?”

“That is the nature of a diagnostic,” the man replied, voice remarkably steady in the face of Evelyn’s obviously rising anger.

Evelyn slammed her palm on the table in anger causing a flicker of green light to leave a good sized scorch mark in the aged wood. Don't get ahead of yourself. Focus. Focus. Just because you're impatient doesn't mean the rules of magic can be broken.

“Sorry," she said, looking just a touch apologetic, before she frowned again. "Fine. Fine. Fine. I will look into the clues that the team looking for the door have picked up. You report to me the very minute at which you complete your diagnostic.” This is going to be torture. Waiting six damned hours. At least I can try to find out a thing or two about that door.


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Sat Sep 18, 2021 5:24 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,


Mailice back with another review! :D

Finally we see Evelyn again and it seems that things are going quite interesting. She also has a briefcase and it doesn't seem to matter now that the other one is with Harry and co. I strongly suspect that the content of the two will only make sense together, but I'll have to surprise myself. :D It's already built up like a kind of spy film. I found it very exciting how it started, that it was about a briefcase.

What excites me here and in your other stories is how you manage to create so many different kinds of emotions, from tension to seriousness and also this humorous vein. It's a strange mix and yet you manage to present it in a really excellent mix. The serious scenes stay that way and are not destroyed by something else and turned around.

Here you could see again that Evelyn can be quite an exhausting and cold-hearted character. I like this development, especially how she became so biting when she asked people who could help her open the briefcase. I'm still curious to know who this Rajsina will be. I strongly assume that this name will also be an anagram.

Overall it was a very nice chapter. I liked the tone we set and hope it will continue in the same way. I will find out soon. :D

Two things I noticed while reading:

Stevenson turned a critical eye towards the case, not bothering to even glance at her.

Is this now something like a double meaning with the word "case" for "briefcase" and "case"?

No who is going to help me get this case open?”No who is going to help me get this case open?”

*No one who is going to help me…


Have fun writing!

Mailice




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!



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Fri Jun 04, 2021 11:04 pm
Spearmint wrote a review...



Hi again! The other chapters seem to have plenty of reviews already, so I'll just start reviewing from here! ^-^

Alright, so kind of like Icy said, it took me a bit to adjust to what was going on in the beginning of the chapter, despite coming directly from the previous one. I also forgot who Evelyn was for a second, but that could just be my forgetfulness XD Still, though, I think adding a part where Evelyn thinks back to the rooftop battle or adding some other section that ties back to the previous chapter could help readers ease into this new scene. Completely up to you though, of course! C:

Ooh but I like how you describe Evelyn's character throughout the course of this part. I could really get a sense of her exasperation and pride, and overall I just think she's a super cool character. I'm also looking forward to finding out whether this Rajsina person might be able to cool Evelyn's temper down a little, just by being so calm and collected himself? Also props to Rajsina for not seeming intimidated by Evelyn XD

It's also neat to get a glimpse into the supposed-enemy's side of things and see how they're getting along with their case. Being able to read about Evelyn and her interactions with Stevenson (her boss?) helps me (and likely other readers too) understand her character more and sorta empathize with her. Hmm, and now I'm wondering if Evelyn might eventually team up with Harry and Rose...? Hehe that'd be pretty awesome, in my opinion-- jellyfish man, agent pink, and the green lightning lady! :P

Oh, and the staring contest between the cursebreakers is so relatable XD Those agonizing moments when the teacher is asking for volunteers, and you're desperately hoping someone else will step in... XD

Okay, and now for a couple specifics:

“Not with us at the moment but Stevenson declared that it is of no concern.

I feel like adding a comma between "moment" and "but" might help this sound a little more natural. That is, unless you omitted it on purpose to make her speech sound more rushed?

No who is going to help me get this case open?”

Just a tiny typo here... "No" should probably be "Now"

Everybody else; go back to you stations and keep working.

Another small typo here: "you" --> "your" :]

Overall, this was another great chapter with an interesting look at the supposed antagonists, and I'll be back soon to review the next ones! Keep writing and have a fantastic day/night!! =D




HarryHardy says...


xD....I think the previous chapters are a tiny bit too long..:D

Thank youuuu for the review!!!



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Mon Feb 22, 2021 8:42 am
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hey Harry, sorry this took me a minute but I'm finally here to review!

Perhaps next time you post a chapter, you could put a very short summary of what happened previously? I went back to reread the last couple of chapters but it took me a moment to actually remember what was going on xD Just a thought! Anyway let's get to the review :)

The heck is this guy looking for on that stupid thing. It has no identifying marks on it.

Does she mean that all briefcases with importance have marks on them? Why is this the case?

She bit back a retort and nodded.

Ah I like Evelyn xD

Evelyn nodded and grabbed the case off the desk, striding out, head held high

She's very quick to back down here, considering she had just (albeit internally) demanded an explanation considering she almost killed herself trying to get both of the cases. Is there a reason she doesn't push the issue? Maybe this guy intimidates her? Either way, it would be good to understand why seeing as you made the point of her wanting to know what the deal was in the first place.

As she walked she remembered the accusation that the stupid dirt man had been about to level at her. That idiot has no idea what he’s talking about. He has no idea.

I would put the accusation back in here so we are drawn back to the moment.

There was a staring contest as each of the cursebreakers tried to stare each other into agreeing to work with Evelyn. Evelyn glanced at them with disdain. How hard is it for one of them to just volunteer? Time wasting idiots that have no sense of the importance of what's happening here. She continued glaring at them as they continued to be hesitant to volunteer. It was almost childish how they appeared like a group of school children asked to volunteer to answer a question.

I love this! I was kind of picturing her as a teacher here, telling them that if nobody volunteered she would be choosing herself and then watch them all look at each other in panic hahaha!

She turned to the man that had agreed to help. She couldn’t recognize him.

“And you are?” she asked.

I wonder if she doesn't recognise him because he's new or because she simply doesn't get involved with other people. I hope she's underestimated him. He seems unwaveringly calm in the face of her anger - seems he really is the best person to work with her!

Ok that's all I have for this chapter, I'm looking forward to getting back to Harry and Rose (partly because I can't remember where we left them). Hopefully I'll be back into the swing of things next time you post and can comment on pacing and story flow but for now I'll leave it here :)

Hope this helped <3

Icy




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Sat Feb 20, 2021 1:47 am
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manilla wrote a review...



Hello, Manilla here for a review - I'm a bit rusty (haven't done one in over half a year), but let's get into it!

So this is what I know from not having read your previous chapters before - detectives in a magic world, and Evelyn's got the odds stacked up against her. I found the chapter engaging, easy to read, and the worldbuilding was subtle but still very present. Rajsina presents himself as a very curious character, and maybe him being there will make Evelyn's job easier.

I have no nitpicks in particular - the conventions, punctuation, and cohesiveness all look great!

Evelyn's dialogue really showcases her personality - a woman who likes being straight to the point, and cares deeply and works very hard for her job. She's very human, and as a reader, I deeply appreciate that.

Although I can't say much, I did enjoy reading this work! It has a thorough amount of suspense, the push-pull feeling that keeps the pages turning. I wonder if the stakes keep piling up, because it certainly feels like they will.

Well written!
-Manilla





Who overcomes by force, hath overcome but half his foe.
— John Milton (Poet)