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18+ Language Violence Mature Content

moonlit car session

by veeren


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

TW: mental health, suicide, swearing

this is a piece of me ranting during a low point, talking about mental health and trying to cope by writing. what starts off as random thoughts in my head gets put together in a way that's understandable when i put them on to paper. i hope you can take something from it and i hope anyone struggling understands that they are not alone.

xoxo, veeren

please listen as you read i beg of you: https://soundcloud.com/v333r/car-session/s-StJTyRf...

this is me reciting the poem out loud, as it should be read.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CAR SESSIONS

the only time i pray is when
                                im praying for forgiveness
for fame for fortune for fucked up shit
new forms of torture

these torches touring through each and every morsel (of me)
and sometimes i wish my momma had an abortion

no portion (of me)
        should be stuck in this horse shit
screaming and crying in every corner im forced in

its

unbelievable this gift we call life
its just me its just you every
                          day every night
and we fight through the highs and the lows like we might
raise a toast, like its bright on the other side

what a sight but
of course its

just a dream just our imagination running wild

where brick walls aren't built up to keep me locked inside my mind
where the only time ill get peace is when people tell me to rest in it
                                                                                            (ill be fine)

maybe ill get arrested and theyll take it as a sign
and i can plead to the jury these thoughts they werent mine
so they can give me the fucking chair or put a gun between my eyes

i realize that
   hope shouldnt be hard to find
but what is it that i do when im lost and im tired

cus the weight of my ways makes me want to retire,
but i live for better days and for people i admire
im no liar  (but)

i got a special way of talking when my head is on fire
i wanna say too much but i know ill be quiet
cus theres a million ways to fuck up but only one to be silent


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17 Reviews


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Reviews: 17

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Wed Jan 20, 2021 3:35 pm
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kryptonianmenace wrote a review...



This is a heavy subject, but very poignant, in my opinion. I'm glad you recorded it because it was nice to hear how it's meant to be read! The flow is captivating and the subject matter stirs emotions that aren't exactly pleasant, but interesting to experience. I can relate to being in this kind of low point and I wanted to say I hope you've managed to get out of that low place or at least are working on it!
My favorite part is probably

where brick walls aren't built up to keep me locked inside my mind / where the only time ill get peace is when people tell me to rest in it / (ill be fine)
The whole poem moved me emotionally, but this part stood out to me.




veeren says...


awww : ,( thank you for the compliments and im glad you enjoyed the poem



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Sat Jan 16, 2021 4:30 am
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vanillavelvet13 says...



Hey!
Not a review, I just wanna say how much this relates to me whenever I'm feeling down and just really under the weather (mentally). Hearing you read the poem makes me emotional so thank you for making this. I absolutely love it!




veeren says...


im happy to hear you related to it <3



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31 Reviews


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Fri Jan 15, 2021 2:50 pm
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Haileyg21 wrote a review...



Hi. A review. I think this is really good. It really stand out and it holds peoples attention easily. I Love that it flows really well. so thank you for writing this. I love it so thanks.
'just a dream just our imagination running wild

where brick walls aren't built up to keep me locked inside my mind
where the only time ill get peace is when people tell me to rest in it
(ill be fine)'
This was probably my favorite part. Thank you for doing this once again bc it was really good




veeren says...


im glad you liked it <3



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52 Reviews


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Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:23 pm
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fleuralplants says...



Hey,
this isn't a review but I just wanted to say how much I liked this.
I thought it was very interesting, so thank you for sharing this.




veeren says...


im glad you enjoyed <3



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12 Reviews


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Thu Jan 14, 2021 8:08 am
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Vaibhav wrote a review...



Hey,
Your topic makes it hard to review but here it is.

"no portion (of me)
should be stuck in this horse shit
screaming and crying in every corner im forced in"

It is quite remarkable how you put driving of car on a road as the way to express your agitated state. That is how I see it and it is quite catchy if I'm right.

"and we fight through the highs and the lows like we might
raise a toast, like its bright on the other side"

I guess that car would be passing through a tunnel. lol. And then later you got arrested. You should have done it in every para of this recitation. Like the act of driving the car and your description of your mental health goes hand in hand. I am not a very good driver but you could have done better in this.

"cus the weight of my ways makes me want to retire"
This statement was a bit disambiguous. "cus the ways of my plight/flight/path makes me want to retire". The poet decides what he thinks and you are in full control of what it should be. It is just a suggestion.
The rhyme is 100 and it is exemplary how you put this topic into play.
Thanks




veeren says...


thanks for the review friend!
just wanted to note real quick that the poem isn't about driving a car, but i'm glad you were able to find a sort of connection with it.

i appreciate the review and you taking the time to read my work <3



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120 Reviews


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Thu Jan 14, 2021 1:27 am
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Carina says...



<3 shivers




veeren says...


<33



Alpha says...


agreed, 100% should be read with your voice

the pauses, the crescendo of emotions, the imagery. beautiful.

<333



veeren says...


@Alpha thank u : , (((( <33




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