Young Writers Society

This is a heavy subject, but very poignant, in my opinion. I'm glad you recorded it because it was nice to hear how it's meant to be read! The flow is captivating and the subject matter stirs emotions that aren't exactly pleasant, but interesting to experience. I can relate to being in this kind of low point and I wanted to say I hope you've managed to get out of that low place or at least are working on it!
My favorite part is probably

where brick walls aren't built up to keep me locked inside my mind / where the only time ill get peace is when people tell me to rest in it / (ill be fine)

Hey!
Not a review, I just wanna say how much this relates to me whenever I'm feeling down and just really under the weather (mentally). Hearing you read the poem makes me emotional so thank you for making this. I absolutely love it!

Hi. A review. I think this is really good. It really stand out and it holds peoples attention easily. I Love that it flows really well. so thank you for writing this. I love it so thanks.
'just a dream just our imagination running wild

where brick walls aren't built up to keep me locked inside my mind
where the only time ill get peace is when people tell me to rest in it
(ill be fine)'
This was probably my favorite part. Thank you for doing this once again bc it was really good

Hey,
this isn't a review but I just wanted to say how much I liked this.
I thought it was very interesting, so thank you for sharing this.

Hey,
Your topic makes it hard to review but here it is.

"no portion (of me)
should be stuck in this horse shit
screaming and crying in every corner im forced in"

It is quite remarkable how you put driving of car on a road as the way to express your agitated state. That is how I see it and it is quite catchy if I'm right.

"and we fight through the highs and the lows like we might
raise a toast, like its bright on the other side"

I guess that car would be passing through a tunnel. lol. And then later you got arrested. You should have done it in every para of this recitation. Like the act of driving the car and your description of your mental health goes hand in hand. I am not a very good driver but you could have done better in this.

"cus the weight of my ways makes me want to retire"
This statement was a bit disambiguous. "cus the ways of my plight/flight/path makes me want to retire". The poet decides what he thinks and you are in full control of what it should be. It is just a suggestion.
The rhyme is 100 and it is exemplary how you put this topic into play.
Thanks

<3 shivers