Into the stream
Around tree trunks
Boughs of leaves
Willows wave, they’re
In harmony with me
Match the scene
I love how concise and lucid it is! However, there might be a lack of depth. I feel a few more words per line would enhance your poem!Your writing is great, just a little elaboration while keeping your concise style intact might make it better.The choice of words is pretty nice. They convey a lot of meaning in a few words. Words like teardrops, weeping, and mourning indicate the sad undertones of the poem.A little more depth would indicate the meaning of the poem with more clarity.
I love how concise and lucid it is! However, there might be a lack of depth. I feel a few more words per line would enhance your poem!Your writing is great, just a little elaboration while keeping your concise style intact might make it better.
Hey kaydenwrites, You have a really nice poem here. So let's get right into it! An InterpretationFrom what I can see your poem is about someone who is in the depths of despair or just really sad and beaten down. The way you intertwined the imagery of tears, and forests was interesting. I think you could really go somewhere with that. As I was reading your poem I had this image in my head of a deep dark forest with a pond in it. It was a very sad picture. Some TipsI can see where you were trying to go with this poem. But I feel as if it's not enough you know? The lines are pretty short, which end up sounding clunky. Now to be honest I had the same problem when I first started writing poetry. I always wanted to make the lines shorter, until they were only one word long. But the effect isn't very nice, it sounds very clunky. Now this all depends on style choice, but I encourage you to try lengthen your lines. It'll not only help expand on ideas and thoughts, but it'll also help make it flow easier. Last thoughtsSo, overall it was a good poem. Sure there's need for improvement (in my opinion). But that doesn't take away the beauty or the meaning of it. If you have any questions feel free to ask, I am always glad to help. Have a great rest of your day and keep on writing! Stellarjay
Hewwo @kaydenwrites! @NastyMajesty here for a review, nice to see ya? Wait I can't technically see you and I can't say nice to meetcha because I've done reviews for you before and-- maybe I'm just overcomplicating this. Man, I need to find a new intro (－‸ლ). OKAY I'm just gonna--GrowsI know this is nit-picky but you don't need to capitalize the first letter in each stanza lol. That's basically it for the grows.Glows This poem is so elegant! Your use of words is so vivid and beautiful. Especially this stanza:
WeepingWillows wave, they’reMourningIn harmony with me
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