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E - Everyone

The Girl with the Dark Wavy Hair

by NastyMajesty

Insecure. Nervous. Self-doubting.
Beautiful. Talented. Laugh-out-louding.

Hurt. In pain. Can't start crying.
Acts tough. She's okay. Starts smiling.

But under that smile
I know something's wrong

Nobody else knows
That she's feeling so low.
She seems fine on the outside.
But I know
s h e ' s  n o t 

I love her
She's amazing 
                             I try to tell her
                                  But she doesn't
                                        u n d e r s t a n d 

I want her to know that I care
and that I'll always and forevermore be there
The girl
       with the dark
              wavy hair

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7 Reviews

Points: 488
Reviews: 7

Sun Nov 22, 2020 1:17 am
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FireEyes wrote a review...

Hey, incoming review. I like your somewhat obscure ways of rhyming. Like I mean you rhyme words that are somewhat obscure. You really expressed your love for your friend and I'm sure she'd respond well to this piece. You can see that something is wrong when she's trying to hide it and that's what good friends pick up on. It describes a friendship slowly coming apart due to hidden sadness from one person. But the sad one doesn't understand they are loved. Truly beautiful and heartbreaking. I loved it. Keep it up.

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12 Reviews

Points: 719
Reviews: 12

Fri Nov 20, 2020 1:12 pm
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Haileyg21 wrote a review...

Ok so heres my review. I got shivers. never in my 16 years have i seem someone who cant put such beatutiful words on "paper" and make them flow so effortlessly. This hits them in the heart and makes us reliese that maybe we do have people who care. Maybe we do have that someone hiding but there. I wish that i would have told my friend something like this so that they would still be here but i didnt no one did. This here could stop someone from trying to KTS. I respected you for this and Actually understanding who ever this is about. WOW i rant alot.

NastyMajesty says...

LOL it's okay. i've been worried about my friend lately in case you needed some context ;-;

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6 Reviews

Points: 543
Reviews: 6

Thu Nov 19, 2020 8:34 pm
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smokeyyyy wrote a review...

I don't have much to say other than I really liked this poem. It is a simple, affectionate, and heart-warming poem of emotion. I think this properly captures that feeling - you know what feeling I'm talking about.
There isn't much else to say other than the fact that I enjoy the simplicity of the poem. I also really like the formatting, which is honestly fitting and I probably wouldn't have thought of that myself.
I saw one minor problem in the phrase "that she's feeling so know." Not sure if this is a typo, or maybe I just don't understand it, but I think that whole stanza may need to be reworked in arrangement because I was kind of thrown of and not really sure what the communication there was. Still, that is a great stanza, and I think it's definitely necessary for the poem, just maybe work on the order / wording of it.
But those are just my suggestions, take them or leave them! I really enjoyed your poem nonetheless and look forward to reading more of your work!
Overall, I would say that this poem is unique, creative, and captures a familiar feeling inside of all of us. 10/10 :)

NastyMajesty says...

Oops! Yes that was a typo xD. Lemme fix it real quick.

NastyMajesty says...

OKay! Fixed it :D Thanks for the review and the follow <3

smokeyyyy says...

Okay, it makes a lot more sense now. Honestly, if I added any more criticisms it'd just be looking for things to criticize.
This work is really amazing! Props to you!
(and thanks for the follow back <3 )

NastyMajesty says...

XD No problem <3

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44 Reviews

Points: 86
Reviews: 44

Thu Nov 19, 2020 7:45 pm
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mintyleaf says...

m o r e p l z

NastyMajesty says...

<3 <3 <3

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48 Reviews

Points: 607
Reviews: 48

Thu Nov 19, 2020 7:39 pm
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NastyMajesty says...

Tank you for reading <3 UwU

Anything's possible if you've got enough nerve.
— J.K. Rowling