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New queen

by rida


I sat on the throne,                                                                                                                                     

A bit too roomy for me,                                                                                                                                

the jewels on my crown shone,                                                                                                              

too much attention for me.                  



everyone was so formal with me,                                                                                                          

I wasn’t used to being called ‘your majesty’,                              



I was expected to be all knowing, and wise,                                                                                          

I was put under pressure, it’s NOT nice,                                                                                                

So if you ever want to be queen, I give you this advice:                                                                        

back away! Run away as fast as mice.                  



Being a queen is so tough!                                                                                                                    

I see now that the road I foolishly chose is rough.    



I so wish I was back at home,  

                                                                       

Sitting on my couch, popcorn on my lap,                                                                      

watching a horror movie,                                    

or maybe taking a nap,                



So if you ever want to be queen, I give you this advice:                                

back away! Run away as fast as mice.                                                                               


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Sat Jan 22, 2022 7:39 am
BrightBlue wrote a review...



Hi Rida!
Here with a review... :)

This was a very beautiful poem. It contrasts with the original ideas of what it is like to be queen. The hardships and responsibilities of being the leader is not pleasant at all. This poem nicely represents the true feelings of a queen.. Taking care of the people who depend on her. Which is a lot of pressure...

The lines have been nicely rhymed..
But... the lines -

"I so wish I was back at home
Sitting on my couch, popcorn on my lap,                                                
watching a horror movie,                                    
or maybe taking a nap"

Kind of interrupted my imagination of a queen in historic times..Because this represents the present...In the present, we rarely see kings and queens now.. Again, I know this was a poem that tells us the true side of being a queen... and that really does not matter...
Overall this was a very interesting poem...

Have a nice day/night.. and keep writing!




rida says...


Thanks for the review!



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Thu Dec 10, 2020 3:35 pm
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LUNARGIRL wrote a review...



This was a very interesting poem. I haven't read anything quite like this before, in a good way. I enjoyed you use of repetition throughout the poem. Sometimes people will repeat lines to many times so it feels like they were running out of things to say. With this poem I thought you had the perfect amount of repetition.
"So if you ever want to be queen, I give you this advice:
back away! Run away as fast as mice."

One thing I have to say is that the poem started out.
"I sat on the throne,
A bit too roomy for me,
the jewels on my crown shone,"

Then the poem shifts to.

"So if you ever want to be queen, I give you this advice:
back away! Run away as fast as mice.
Being a queen is so tough!
I see now that the road I foolishly chose is rough.
I so wish I was back at home,"

I feel like I kind of lost interest in the poem when it shifted from admiring what she was wearing to why you do NOT want to be a queen. But this is just my opinion.

Overall, I really enjoyed this poem. I loved your use of repetition but I kinda lost interest the farther I continued into the poem. Can't wait to read what you write next!

Carpe diem,
LUNARGIRL




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Wed Nov 04, 2020 9:36 pm
izzywidgeon wrote a review...



Hi! I thought this was a really interesting piece. I know this is a trope, but most princesses seem to dream of the day they find their princes and are able to rule their own kingdoms, but little do they ever focus on the trials of royalty. It's very refreshing to see a princess that doesn't want to rule her kingdom, not because she's fallen in love with a man below her status or something, but simply because she doesn't want to. It's really relatable, in a way.
It would be super cool if this became a series - maybe about the trials and tribulations the princess goes through day by day? Just an idea.

Cheers!

-MintyLeaf




rida says...


Thanks! I don%u2019t really think I CAN write a series about this, I don%u2019t know why, it whenever I try something like this...... I just can%u2019t ........:(



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Thu Oct 15, 2020 5:37 pm
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Horisun wrote a review...



Hello, there! And congratulations on getting literary spotlight! I think this poem absolutely deserves it!
I love stories about the trials of leading people, and I love seeing how its not all that it's cracked up to be. I liked how it's a little bit informal, to bring home the fact that she doesn't want to be Queen, and how she doesn't fit the bill.
I do have a small critique, and it has to do with your rhyming scheme.
You had a lot of very clever patterns and rhymes here, however, I did notice that those patterns shifted a lot.
For example, at the very beginning, you start out with "I sat on the throne, a bit too roomy for me, the jewels on my crown shown, too much attention on me."
But at the end, it's shifted to, "Being a Queen is so tough, I see now that the road I foolishly chose is rough."
Now this might just be me, so take it with a grain of salt, but when patterns get shifted around like that, it can take a reader right out of the story.
That's a really small nitpick, though. I honestly adored this poem, and I think you did a great job!
Keep on writing, and have a wonderful day!




rida says...


Thank you so much! Glad you liked my poem! And I didn%u2019t know about that rhyming scheme part! I will be sure to keep it in mind next time!



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Wed Oct 14, 2020 3:53 pm
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Soccer23 wrote a review...



Great job! I think that that poem is very relatable to people born into fame. You rhymed it very well, a tad repetitive, which was good. I will say, this is probably somewhere along the lines of what I imagined, because every other little girl imagines what being a princess would be like, but i'm way to sporty and informal for servants, titles and dressed. Is that just me?? Anyway, great job visualizing what it would be like to be in royalty. I also like how you exaggerated on the concept by leading your readers to infer that the main character chose this path, and wasn't born into it, and is now regretting it. It's short, but meaningful, and I would say it's extremely well written. Nice Job!




rida says...


Thank you so much, glad you enjoyed my poem.



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Tue Oct 13, 2020 5:10 pm
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JeanBean_BC says...






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Tue Oct 13, 2020 5:08 pm
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JeanBean_BC says...



This is good. I'm 100% sure Elsa relates to this lol




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Tue Oct 13, 2020 3:00 pm
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I- this says something but I don't know what. It feels obvious but I don't think it is what I am thinking.




rida says...


Is it really that confusing?





No....I think you talking about someone. -3- I wish I knew who.




This is a house of homes, a sacred place, by human passion made divinely sweet.
— Alfred Joyce Kilmer