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16+ Language


by Morrigan

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

i'm going to a protest tomorrow,
and i tell my friends that if i'm
not at band practice the next day
that they should find the feds that took me.

no one blinked or took a swing
at the cops, and yet they beat him
til he fell, head bleeding,
til the bastards swept through
and left him like a rag. the costumes
of peace only fit them because
that dress (once white, now crimson),
has been taken in, tailored,
to fit fascism's bride.

brutality is a fixture of policemen.
"good cops" are removed like weeds,
whistleblowers succumb to the gut-wrenching
realization that there's no money in equality.
i used to tell myself i would never get a gun,
but there is nothing else i can depend on
to protect me as much as i can. I cannot
stake my safety on bargaining with rats.

if i'm not at band practice on sunday,
find the feds that took me. 

A/N: Capitalization in poetry is a stylistic choice. If you feel that my choice is not working, please let me know! Otherwise, trust me, it was intentional, and not a mistake. Thank you.

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50 Reviews

Points: 46
Reviews: 50

Sat Aug 01, 2020 5:56 am
ToxicAnglerFish wrote a review...

This poem is extremely heartbreaking but in a extremely good way!! Its extremely realistic as we really feel the pain of the author writing this as they realized how POC have been discriminated against for so long and how the government is built on fascism, racism, and how the good cops are replaced for the "good" cops. This poem is incredibly eye opening and shows and paints the picture of emotions of anger, realization, and pain both the author and POC are feeling during the BLM movement and its incredible place and impact in history, America, and even around the world.

I love the choice of words and how descriptive, unique and well.chosen they are as they mature, well thought out, and are used well to describe what the author is feeling about this topic! It's clear you have good emotional vocabulary as once again it paints a good picture!

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744 Reviews

Points: 28360
Reviews: 744

Sat Aug 01, 2020 5:40 am
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ShadowVyper wrote a review...

Heya Morrigan,

I'm not a poetry expert by any stretch of the imagination, but this poem really resonated with me, so I figured I'd drop a few lines in case any of it happens to be helpful to you!

I think you did this poem REALLY well, and it hits especially close to home with all the unrest currently happening in the world these days. The first stanza was honestly chilling. I guess my paradigm is so much to assume that like, I tell my friends I'm going to meet [this person] at [this place] and if I don't show up/text them to go to the cops -- so it hit particularly hard to think about the cops being the people who might be the WHY behind the disappearance.

no one blinked or took a swing

This line was a little confusing to me. It might just be me not comprehending poetry well, so feel free to disregard this comment if so, but it took me a couple of read-throughs to understand what was going on here. I thought the "now one blinked" was in reference to the friends' response to the narrator. Like, no one was surprised by the narrator thinking they might go missing (which, let's be real, at this point in 2020 it'd hardly be surprising if it did happen), but then it kind of seems like that's not how it's supposed to be interpreted?

However! I REALLY like your imagery with the "costumes of peace" > "tailored to fit fascism's bride". I read through this stanza quite a few times trying to understand that first bit I already mentioned, and it seemed like every time I read this stanza, this imagery got more and more gut-wrenching. Super well done!

brutality is a fixture of policemen.

The word "fixture" is an interesting choice here. At first I didn't super love it because my mind leaped immediately to like "light fixture" and I couldn't get that thought out of my head of like a light bulb, but then I was digging deeper trying to understand this line more fully and Googled the word and found out the legal sense of the word. Is that what you were going for here? Because wow that's powerful if so. So... I don't really know what my comment is here lol. I think it's a little confusing at first, but has multiple layers of depth, so I do really like how impactful this word and therefore sentence becomes.

I also REALLY like how you ended this. I think your varying stanza lengths were a real strength for the impact of this poem. Your poem starts out ominous and builds and builds on the tension of corruption and then the last two lines just kinda land like a punch to the gut.

That's all the constructive comments I've got so I'll end this now, but know that I could gush for many paragraphs longer about how fantastic this is and how it got me right in the feels. Excellent work! <3


Morrigan says...

Thank you! About your first note, it kind of shifts focus. There are several videos out there of policemen just knocking over peaceful protesters and leaving them, so I wanted to convey that. However, I find that transitioning between the first and second stanzas are a little weird. When posting, I considered putting the first stanza in italics so it would be visually separated from the rest of the poem. Do you think that would be an effective choice? It kind of switches subjects a little, but it all fits in the same poem, so... poetry is hard.
The way I used fixture here is in the way that something is established. For example, "the old man was a fixture at the dive bar." Like, he goes there ALL THE TIME. Everyone knows his name. So saying "brutality is a fixture" is a way of saying that brutality is the old man that shows up in the police's behavior all the time.
I appreciate your review, and I'm glad you liked it!

ShadowVyper says...

Hmm... yeah, I think the italicizing might work! I do get what you're going for now. Poetry IS hard, absolutely lol.

'They are afraid of nothing,' I grumbled, watching their approach through the window. 'Together, they would brave Satan and all his legions.'
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights