Young Writers Society

Hey sound! I'm gonna try to do give you a review. I may or may not be trying to remember *how* to do a review, so, sorry if this sucks XD

Likes
Listening to this and reading the lyrics alongside it gives me some sort of melancholy pleasure, if I may be so bold as to steal the pair of words from the lips of Lucy Hale.

Dislikes
While repetition is a good way to get things across to a reader, I feel like someone reading these lyrics rather than listening to them might drift off, in a sort of way. I personally preferred listening to how you're singing "nullify" rather than reading it over and over and over. (Kinda like how I probably just used "and over" one time too many.

Hello Sound,

I'm not a singer, so I'm no expert on anything musically, but you have a beautiful voice. And it feels haunting and sad when you sing.

What you think
Is a lie
Is a mask
You can't hide

I see it in your eyes
It's yourself you despise

Hey fellow song writer,
Some suggestions from experience, when you hold out a note doing things such as a dot for every beat you hold out. You already space well so good job on that. You have good flow, although you lose your flow at "nullify, nullify, nullify, nullify (x4) ". With how you fade there you would be best fading the lyrics. Like so:
nullify, nullify, nullify, nullify.
nullify, nullify, nullify..
nullify, nullify...
nullify....

This is amazing! You are a really good singer. I wish I could record like this.

This is amazing.

wow this is amaZing how did you do that !:)

Hi bby it's good to see you.

I find it hard to critique anything that you put out. Maybe it's your enchanting voice or your simple but sophisticated lyrics, but you've got some STUFF.

So, in lieu of me recommending change, I'll tell you what I liked about it and why I did. That's valuable feedback, too!

I think we might have spoken about Elliot Smith before, but this song really gives me a "Between the Bars" vibe. Lyrically, it's not so similar, but the idea is similar. Forgetting, starting over, things that someone is doing that are out of character. I think this is a very powerful theme. The difference between your song and his is that your lyrics seem to carry bitterness for the subject of the piece. It's an interesting idea. So your song further explores the idea of selfishness and lack of empathy, as well, from the subject, but also maybe a little from the singer. But I get it. I'm always salty about people only caring about themselves, too.

While many people use the symbols of the sun and moon in their art pieces (I won't limit this to literature), they are literally the most physical embodiment of gods that humanity knows. Two orbs floating in the sky, each ruling a domain? I love that you've used the sun and the moon in a deity-like way here. It's like you're saying, "stop doing that before the truth comes out and god finds you." I don't know if this is what you're doing, but that's what I got out of it.

As for the musical structure, I think it's effective. You know how to play to your vocal strengths. What my favorite and most unexpected part of this was that you end the lyrical section on an unresolved chord. It mirrors the lyrics- starting over- something unfinished. Eventually the outro gives us a more satisfying sound to end the song on, but I love that you chose to do that at the end of the lyrical section. I might... uh steal that.

You can already tell that I loved this song by the lack of criticism and abundance of literary analysis. Please continue to tag me in all of your lyrics so I can bask in their glory. I hope that this proves useful to you! See you 'round!