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18+ Language Violence Mature Content

Chapter One - The Chopping Block

by Cow


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

This is a fan-fiction based off of the game Skyrim. Chapter will vary in size, so you are warned! Thank you for reading and enjoy!

(Keep in mind I am editing these old chapters and may forget some parts so if there are plot holes do tell me! Most likely I meant to fix them and never did when I was first writing this... monstrosity.)

Chapter One - Lyralica

Nords. That's what this land is filled with. Hundreds upon thousands of thick-skinned, racist, heartwarming people. Most have blue eyes though, which I don't get and don't think I ever will. Some have beards though. I don't get beards, feathers are much better. I don't have anything against them though. I actually quite like them. I was raised by their religion, after all! And I understand their anger over the White-Gold concordat that the empire was practically forced to sign.

Although the Imperials do have their reasons for sticking to the Empire, the Stormcloaks, led by Ulfric, are having their religion taken away. Have you seen how much a Nord loves their gods and goddesses? It's a lot. I've visited Skyrim much over my twenty-five years of life and all I really want from this place is the flowers and its weapons. The deadlier, the better. And poisons, wonderful.

But the sights in this place are wondrous to behold. Mountains that could reach Sovngarde, grasslands teaming with wildlife ripe for a swift arrow and snow as fluffy and backbiting as a skeever.

My nostrils started feeling irritated, taking me out of my thoughts. I just got new piercings put in and those were always difficult to deal with. The rings on my horns jingled, making a pleasant sound fill my ears.

The wind picked up, bringing the scent of sweat and blood toward me. It rustled the snow-white feathers atop my head and made me look back. Imperials. And I was an Argonian with no papers to prove that I was legally visiting. I had lost them in a river when running from three bears. Sure I was born here but making it official? Yeah, no. And the bears, they are scary, ok? It's not like it was a group of bandits!

The captain who was covered in shiny, steel armor had ordered men to tie up my wrist and tail. They thought I could use it to get out and by Talos, they were not wrong.

They pushed me onto the wagon, three others tied up, and one that had a gag. One had doe-like eyes and dirty blonde hair, another with storm-colored eyes and the last, a dusty-ruby colored Argonian with a set of horn rings with gems. Her eyes looked like Dragons Tongue. She smiled at me, her sharp teeth glinting in the sun.

I waved quickly and smiled back. I made sure to flash my teeth. Clean teeth, good first impression. Or an arrow to the knee, but hey, I'm not judging. The storm-eyed man smiled as best he could with the gag and the doe-eyed man smiled shyly but waved quickly. They all had this look in their eyes. A look I knew very well. The look of knowing that death was approaching, that you would either be in Sovngarde or end up somewhere in between.

The binding on my wrist and tail was digging into my scales, making them raw and I could feel the sun beating down, making me sweat. They had taken my bow and gold. They took everything. And I did nothing wrong.

The carriage shook as we pulled into Helgen, the most popular border hub known to travelers. People clattered about, rushing into homes as the feared Stormcloaks arrival. They feared the lizard people and the walking cats. They feared what was different.

A man began to read off names, calling us forward. Ulfric Stormcloak was the man with a gag, Ralof was the doe-eyed man and Terrsyphen was the dusty, ruby scaled Argonian. Then I was called. Lyranlica "Lerry" Heartfire, raised in the marshes and snowy lands of Skyrim, taught in ways of the Nord folk.

A roar that could open the gates of Oblivion shattered the sky and shook the ground as if Red Mountain had erupted once again, making my ears ring. A black figure disappeared among the mountains. What was it?

Confusion shifted over Terrsyphen's face while Ulfric had no expression. Two blocks were set up, blood drenching the boat. Flies were gorging themselves on heads in nearby baskets, eyes puffy and empty. I shivered. Disgusting. They could at least treat them with respect, the dead deserved that at least.

A guard grabbed me and Terrsyphen by the arm, his hands digging into my skin. He shoved me to the ground and my head was too close for comfort to a blood-stained basket. No thanks.

The Executioner lifted the ax for me, the blade obviously dull. A longer death, I thought as the black shape landed on the tower behind us. All I could hear was screaming. Rocks and dirt flew everywhere while Terrsyphen grabbed me by the elbow as best she could, dragging me toward a nearby building with Ralof and Ulfric. Smoke filled my lungs, burning my nostrils and making me cough like I had swallowed a faulty potion.

A child screamed as the creature swooped down, stealing the nearby guard. People were clamoring, some trying to help and others just stood with fear in their childlike eyes. It was something I would never forget. And the bodies...

Ralof cut off his bonds with a broken piece of glass then he untied the rest of us, making introductions. He was a soldier in the Stormcloak army and Ulfric, was, well, Ulfric. The leader of the rebellion. He explained that they had been ambushed.

I nodded, rubbing my wrist and making sure my tail was ok. Terrsyphen chuckled weakly and looked at me.

"Terrsyphen. Terrsyphen Ciddvale. Best we do formal introductions, get them out of the way." She said, holding out a hand.

I shook her hand, replying while Ralof looted some nearby bodies. "Lyranlica Heartfire."

Ralof grunted, throwing an iron great-sword, four steel daggers, and a hunting bow onto the ground along with some fur armor. He and Ulfric still wore their cloaks of wolves fur and other such Stormcloak formalities. The Imperials wanted people knowing that rebels would not be tolerated.

I peeked my head out of what was left of the doorway, guards everywhere. The dragon was soaring overhead, its roars peppering the mountains.

"Follow me, I know a way out. In that building across from us. Behind it, there should be a trapdoor." Ralof stated, running out the door before any of us could speak.

Ulfric huffed, following him. Terrsyphen just shrugged and followed, I just behind her tail. Ralof opened the trapdoor, climbing down the latter and we all followed while the shouts of imperials could be heard. They still wanted to get the prisoners even if it meant dying. That was lovely.

Cobwebs covered the cave and it smelled of poison. The dirt was moist and the wood holding up the small storage room was rotten. The whole room reeked.

A small opening sat at the end of the room, leading into an open cavern. I could hear the water trickling from a small stream. None of us spoke as we made our way through the twist and turns. Ulfric only ever grunted or made some snide remark when we took a turn. Ralof was careful and precise while Terrsyphen kept writing and scribbling into a book.

I took out my book, looking at the pages. Scribbled with notes of weapons and little drawings of flower types. A book for flowers and sharp, dangerous things.

"Look! Through here!" Ralof shouted, a crack in the stone showing sunlight. Thank Talos we didn't run into any spiders. I hate those. People were easier to kill, anyway.

Stepping outside was like taking a breath of fresh air. Well, it felt like even though we weren't in the cave for long. The dragon came soaring overhead, letting loose another shout that could spook the gods. Its scales were as black as night. No thanks!

Ulfric ran ahead, no doubt with more things to do. Ralof looked at me and Terrsyphen then told us that having more people join the rebellion would be nice. Terrsyphen nodded while putting her journal away.

Ralof walked off and left me and the ruby-scaled Argonian alone.

"Hey, Terrsyphen?" I practically shouted with the clinking of my horn rings loud in my ears, hoping I didn't attract any unwanted attention.

"Yes, Lyranlica?" She replied. She kept weaving her claws in and out.

"What are you going to do?"

She took a deep breath then looked at me. "I am selling the gear, buying new weapons and going back to mercenary work."

"Oh..." I said. A mercenary? Interesting... "Well, can I join you till the next town?"

She looked at me, eyes wide but composed herself. "I-I don't know. I mean, company for a bit would be nice... sure. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting another Argonian for a long while."

I smiled widely, skipping up to catch her strides. "Wonderful! You know, I've visited Skyrim many times before.”

"Hey! You know what Deathbells look like? They're really pretty flowers and remind me of scales. My favorite flower would be Dragon's tongue though. They look like the color of your eyes, actually." I rambled, skipping along while my book bounced in my pouch. I had to act chipper now that I was going into town, and with this stranger.

Terrsyphen nodded and smiled widely. She was twirling a septum in and out of her claws. "Deathbells are wonderful for poisons. I've never visited Skyrim myself, you see. First time."

"Really? Oh, then we have to visit Riften! They have the best jeweler! Then there's Whiterun, the lead trading hub while you've got Markarth which is perfect if you want a break from plants. It said to be made by the dwarves! You know-" I started rambling again, maybe hoping to give her some form of good information about the land she was in but she shushed me.

"There's no we. But thank you for the tips. I'll be sure to visit the jeweler." She plainly stated then gestured to Riverwood up ahead. The way she shushed me ruffled my feathers but I swallowed the anger from it.

I ignored the quick poison in her words and nodded. "There's a blacksmith up ahead. He'll take the gear." I stated then trotted over to the general goods merchant.

I handed over some daggers and unwanted imperial clothes. I kept the looted hide armor. The man only gave me about 300 gold for all of the items but I wasn't complaining. It was something, a start.

Walking out, Terrsyphen had two iron swords sheathed and sported iron armor. She looked at me but walked away, toward Whiterun.

She didn't even have a map of the land yet. I shook my head. If she died, she died. 

"Have any bows other than imperial bows? Maybe a glass one?" I asked the blacksmith who just looked at me perplexedly. He was covered in soot and welts from the heat of the forge.

"Take it or leave it, lizard." He replied, turning back to his work. See? People may suck here or are as friendly as a bee.

I took a hunting bow, which would have to do for now. After stocking up on arrows, I looked at my map. Riften was rather far off and I would prefer taking a wagon. I had a friend there to visit. But I needed gold... A ruin set atop a mountain. The guards talk about it earlier. Maybe there was loot in there to sell, like gems or a better bow.

Tightening the strap on my satchel, I headed toward the ruins.


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Sun Sep 20, 2020 10:48 pm
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whatchamacallit wrote a review...



Hi there Cow! I'm here for a quick #RevMo review!

Most have blue eyes though, which I don't get and don't think I ever will. Some have beards though. I don't get beards, feathers are much better. I don't have anything against them though.

I'm not sure if you wrote all these "though"s on purpose, but I thought I'd point them out just in case. It could be that you're trying to establish the voice of the narrator - maybe they say "though" a lot! - which is totally legit. I would just say, though, (pun not intended) that the first two don't really make sense / are unnecessary, technically speaking.

The wind picked up, bringing the scent of sweat and blood toward me. It rustled the snow-white feathers atop my head and made me look back. Imperials. And I was an Argonian with no papers to prove that I was legally visiting. I had lost them in a river when running from three bears. Sure I was born here but making it official? Yeah, no. And the bears, they are scary, ok? It's not like it was a group of bandits!

I like how informal / jokey the tone is! Makes this a fun read!

The captain who was covered in shiny, steel armor had ordered men to tie up my wrist and tail. They thought I could use it to get out and by Talos, they were not wrong.

Waaaait the narrator isn't human? Gosh I'm stupid xD

Her eyes looked like Dragons Tongue. She smiled at me, her sharp teeth glinting in the sun.

Very minor nitpick, but that should either be "Dragon's" or "Dragons'".

The look of knowing that death was approaching, that you would either be in Sovngarde or end up somewhere in between.

In between what?

People clattered about, rushing into homes as the feared Stormcloaks arrival.

'Cause it's a plural possesive noun, technically it should be "the Stormcloaks' arrival".

The Executioner lifted the ax for me, the blade obviously dull. A longer death, I thought as the black shape landed on the tower behind us. All I could hear was screaming. Rocks and dirt flew everywhere while Terrsyphen grabbed me by the elbow as best she could, dragging me toward a nearby building with Ralof and Ulfric. Smoke filled my lungs, burning my nostrils and making me cough like I had swallowed a faulty potion.

I could be missing something, but I find this part a little bit confusing. Is the executioner about to kill Lerry? Why doesn't the executioner notice the dragon? Why would the executioner let Terrsyphen drag Lerry away?
I do love your description of smoke filling her lungs through, paints a very vivid idea!

Ralof opened the trapdoor, climbing down the latter and we all followed while the shouts of imperials could be heard.

*ladder

I took out my book, looking at the pages. Scribbled with notes of weapons and little drawings of flower types. A book for flowers and sharp, dangerous things.

Ooh this is a nice peek at Lerry's interests / personality!

I smiled widely, skipping up to catch her strides. "Wonderful! You know, I've visited Skyrim many times before.”

"Hey! You know what Deathbells look like? They're really pretty flowers and remind me of scales. My favorite flower would be Dragon's tongue though. They look like the color of your eyes, actually." I rambled, skipping along while my book bounced in my pouch. I had to act chipper now that I was going into town, and with this stranger.

Since she's saying both of these things, you can combine them into one paragraph, so it'd be: "...I've visited Skyrim many times before. Hey! You know what Deathbells look like?"
Otherwise the reader might think that it's switched to Terrsyphen speaking.

Overall, a strong chapter! I like how light it is, and the dialogue is pretty humorous which is always nice (: You also do a great job pacing, and balancing dialogue with descriptions!

Having said that, I do think it'd be nice if there were more visual descriptions of certain settings - for example the building when Lerry and Terrsyphen introduce themselves to each other, or the tunnel the group of them take from the trapdoor - you do have some great descriptions of smell, sound, stuff like that, but there are some parts where I can't picture the setting super clearly. (Might be that you're expecting your readers to know what certain parts of Skyrim look like, but still never hurts to add some descriptions!)

But you do a great job at showing the narrator's goofy character, and I like how we get to see all of her thoughts and reactions!

I hope this is useful, happy #RevMo !

whatchamacallit


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Fri Jul 24, 2020 1:12 pm
brotherGeo wrote a review...



You know what, screw it i'll review this too.
*clears throat*
Hello comrade!
As you know i have reviewed your other chapter's but not this one so i may as well. On with the review then.

snow as fluffy and backbiting as a skeever.

"They were smaller back then."-Corpulus Vinius

I was an Argonian with no papers to prove that I was legally visiting. I had lost them in a river when running from three bears

The Black marsh Argonian's, I was kinda hoping elder scrolls 6 was to be set in Black marsh but i guess not. Also yeah 3 bears that's scary, and where there are bears there are usually spriggans not far behind.

Two blocks were set up, blood drenching the boat.

*Blood drenching the block. or you could say wood instead of block, both work.

They could at least treat them with respect, the dead deserved that at least

She says before later taking the dead's money in later chapters. Do un-dead count? i don't know.

you've got Markarth which is perfect if you want a break from plants. It said to be made by the dwarves!

Markarth famous for its happy townspeople, a lovely place for tourists from Cyrodil to visit, and not get murdered. And if you like annoying immovable notes go visit Eltrys i'm sure he has plenty for you to 'drop'.

"Have any bows other than imperial bows? Maybe a glass one?" I asked the blacksmith who just looked at me perplexedly. He was covered in soot and welts from the heat of the forge.

Good luck getting a glass bow in Riverwood Lyranlica. Also it's nice seeing some descriptive features for Alvor the smith.

"Take it or leave it, lizard." He replied, turning back to his work. See? People may suck here or are as friendly as a bee.

some are as friendly as a bee... now i feel bad for using bee's in my potions.

Overall its a draft, there are many areas to improve but it's still pleasant to read which is good. I will note that after reviewing your more recently posted chapters i definitely noticed that your writing is definitely improving in quality which is excellent (I sound like a bloody teacher). I started playing Skyrim again because of this fanfic, I'm a spell-sword Breton named Bertu, long live the magic midget.
Keep writing!
-brotherGeo




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Sun Jul 19, 2020 4:37 pm
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Vil wrote a review...



Hello, Cow! I'm Vilnius, here to review your work!

I haven't played Skyrim personally, but I've seen people play parts of it, and Bethseda games are normally pretty good. Please excuse me while I look up a few things and double-check my own work.

*starts running through the Wiki*

Okay. First of all, I'm curious as to what made you choose an Argonian, aka Lizard Guy, as your protagonist. Most, I think, would stick with the big four-- Elves, Dwarves, Men, Orcs-- rather than have someone unfamiliar with this world try to figure it out. I'm not saying that it was wrong to choose an Argonian, but I do think it would help if you described them a little more earlier on.

Second of all, you've done a really good job at conveying a lot of information in a very compact form without it being an information dump. I have to agree with Lee, though-- it's informal, something that I wouldn't associate with my limited knowledge of Skyrim.

Third of all, I liked it. I'm going to try and keep up with this story if I can.

Have a nice [*insert time of day*]!




Cow says...


Thank you! It's based off one of my characters, one that I really did build a background for and played a lot. : )



Vil says...


%uD83D%uDC4D



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Sun Jul 19, 2020 5:26 am
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LittleLee wrote a review...



Hey cow, here i come for a review!

My first impression: rather well-written, but quite informal. If you were aiming for a more comedic story, it's perfect, but if you're trying to make it serious there are too many slip ups and you've used somewhat informal language a lot. Still, good job. I liked the descriptions of the Argonians the best.
Anyway, here are my thoughts on how you can hone the story. Take whatever you find useful and ignore the rest!

Hundreds upon thousands of thick-skinned, racist, heartwarming people.

Not as a reviewer, but as a fellow Skyrim fan: not all of them are racist. You can find quite a few who are nice. The worst ones are usually around Windhelm.
And while the game only has some NPCs, I'm sure there are thousands of people in Skyrim, at the very least.

snow as fluffy and backbiting as a skeever.

...as fluffy as a skeever? Backbiting, sure, but fluffy? xD

Yeah, no. And the bears, they are scary, ok? It's not like it was a group of bandits!

This is one of those informal lines I was talking about.

I waved quickly and smiled back.

How can he wave if his hands are tied together?

And I did nothing wrong.

*had done nothing wrong.

Ralof cut off his bonds with a broken piece of glass then he untied the rest of us, making introductions. He was a soldier in the Stormcloak army and Ulfric, was, well, Ulfric. The leader of the rebellion. He explained that they had been ambushed.

Forget whatever happens in the game; this is simply not plausible. There's a huge, fire-breathing dragon, and he's making introductions? Dragons are the stuff of legends.
This should happen after they enter the keep, and even then has to be very quick.

Also, the feelings of fear and chaos didn't come across well. You've done a good job, but the entire attack scene didn't have enough importance or description. There should be a lot more to this than just a few paragraphs.

Ralof grunted, throwing an iron great-sword

Noooooooo he can't throw the sword! If it doesn't break, it'll be too heavy to throw anyway. Try using a milder word, like "toss."

"Terrsyphen. Terrsyphen Ciddvale. Best we do formal introductions, get them out of the way." She said, holding out a hand.

Again. Formal introductions? THERE'S A DRAGON ATTACKING THE TOWN, MAKE THEM RUN!

its roars peppering the mountains.

This wasn't really a solid image. Perhaps you could say his roars bounced off the mountains or something.

Ralof was careful and precise while Terrsyphen kept writing and scribbling into a book.

I took out my book, looking at the pages. Scribbled with notes of weapons and little drawings of flower types. A book for flowers and sharp, dangerous things.

And where did they get their books from? I thought their possessions were confiscated.

[quotee]Ralof looked at me and Terrsyphen then told us that having more people join the rebellion would be nice.[/quote]
Um. Out of place. He just met them, there's still a dragon around, and possibly a very aggravated group of legionaries.

"Hey, Terrsyphen?" I practically shouted with the clinking of my horn rings loud in my ears, hoping I didn't attract any unwanted attention.

I don't see why Lyrancila shouted. The rings can't be producing much noise, and he's right beside her.

I also felt this conversation was out of place, and too convenient. There isn't a clear reason as to why the protagonist suddenly decides to join her, and why he's EXTREMELY friendly, even though she's the same race as him.

There's no we.

Good, this was realistic. This was what should have happened much earlier.

And I was completely caught off guard when they reached the town. It was far too sudden, and the walk was too short.

Tightening the strap on my satchel, I headed toward the ruins.

He's been captured, nearly executed, and through a dragon attack, but he seems to have forgotten it already? And he's not tired?


Overall, I would say this is still a draft. The story has a lot of potential, but you can't speed things up to the point at which it becomes more about the immediate action than plot and character development. So I suggest you keep polishing it.
Don't get me wrong, though! It was an enjoyable read, and besides, SKYRIM. So yeah.

If my review was too critical, I'm sorry!

- Lee




Cow says...


ok, one THEY ARE BOTH GIRLS. Two, thank you! There's a lot fix so yeah... not my best wor at all.



LittleLee says...


I SUSPECTED SHE WAS GIRL
STUPID ME
The name Lerry threw me off a bit, sorry xD



Cow says...


PFFT Larry is how its normally spelled i guess but Lerry is pronounce with the E and i guess it just seems more feminine to me?



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Sun Jul 19, 2020 3:14 am
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Cow says...



@Gravitem @Little

I will try to keep this as close to the lore as possible! I do have the Volume one lorebook so I can use that at times, I guess. And the cookbook... Anyways, I'll be editing all the chapters I have so far!!!

I do hope you like this... even though its not at all serious writing. But hey! Who knows?! Grav, do feel free to fangirl or boy, i dunno your gender, right along side me. : )




Gravitem says...


I'm not sure an Argonian would say Sovngarde or Talos in everyday speech or thought.



Cow says...


@Gravitem She was raised in nordic culture, and nows bits and pieces of others but the one she was around and gravitated toward the most was Nordic gods and such alike.



Gravitem says...


Aaah I see. Poor gal. She is well cultured I see. I like her narration.




Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
— Dr. Seuss