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12+

NO!

by Thisislegacy


The beginning of this story doesn't even matter anymore, 

it's been spoken so many times.

It only matters how it makes me feel, 

and what I do about it. 

-

I used to feel like I was drowning

but now I finally feel free. 

I'm no longer in the shadows of my doubt, 

and the shackles of all my old lies.

-

Everything's out in the open, 

everyone knows what happened. 

There's your side and mine, 

and the side of the truth. 

-

I now hold hands with the truth,

while you hold hands with the devil.

All the evil things that you have done;

the freedoms that it's given me. 

-

I haven't thought of you in so long;

I don't know how you got my number.

I never wanted you to contact me

but I'm glad I was able to say what I needed to. 

-

I don't know what else I have to do. 

I thought I made this painfully clear. 

I DO NOT FORGIVE YOU. 

YOU WILL NOT COME BACK IN MY LIFE

EVER!

-

-

A/N This is mostly a rant but you can tell me how I could show more emotion. It was really difficult to put this onto paper. I couldn't think of any words that fit how I was feeling. My mom decided to text me this week trying to get me to forgive her for everything that she has done. She wants to get back in my life and I won't let her. My dad's also been trying to get me to forgive my brother lately but I won't do that either. I've come a long way from where I used to be when I first got out of my mothers house. 

EDIT. I've made a few small grammatical edits. 


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9 Reviews


Points: 236
Reviews: 9

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Fri Jul 03, 2020 8:42 am
Fadzie wrote a review...



Honestly the poem is well written; really expresses how one had moved on from a toxic relationship and is moving on with life, I can relate to it and at times one needs to let go of all the toxic relations surrounding them and look forward to some positive vibes in life. It may take some time but with time you need to be strong and go out there and leave all the toxic relationship behind.

Keep up the good work.




Thisislegacy says...


Thank you. It's been a difficult 3 years of trying to get her out of my life.



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Points: 90
Reviews: 4

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Tue Jun 30, 2020 3:25 am
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TheStreamLights says...



I want to say this as least bit disrespectful as possible because Im going through the same stuff with my parents, what they did is unforgivable I left my mom, my dad left me bla bla bla I mean no disrespect



I really like this poem, Because the words of choice give me vibes that you were stranded and you are now found. I say this because you say
"I used to feel like I was drowning

but now I finally feel free. "
and that is beautiful. I connect that to your authors note where you said "I've come a long way from where I used to be when I first got out of my mother's house. " and " She wants to get back in my life and I won't let her." I connect the drowning and she wants to get back in my life, I won't let her as she was the reason you were drowning (not specifically), and now that your free her text is her trying to pull you back in.


This has inspired me to write about my past. In fact, I think everyone whos reading this should as well.




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Points: 90
Reviews: 4

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Tue Jun 30, 2020 3:25 am
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TheStreamLights wrote a review...



I want to say this as least bit disrespectful as possible because Im going through the same stuff with my parents, what they did is unforgivable I left my mom, my dad left me bla bla bla I mean no disrespect



I really like this poem, Because the words of choice give me vibes that you were stranded and you are now found. I say this because you say
"I used to feel like I was drowning

but now I finally feel free. "
and that is beautiful. I connect that to your authors note where you said "I've come a long way from where I used to be when I first got out of my mother's house. " and " She wants to get back in my life and I won't let her." I connect the drowning and she wants to get back in my life, I won't let her as she was the reason you were drowning (not specifically), and now that your free her text is her trying to pull you back in.


This has inspired me to write about my past. In fact, I think everyone whos reading this should as well.




Thisislegacy says...


If you have any questions feel free to ask. I have a ton of poetry on here about my mom that might be able to help you understand my emotions about going through the process of changing households and getting out of an emotionally abusive relationship with my mom.





Yeah ive been reading them. specifically letters to your mom. I think it is brave that you put those out there. Actually in my poem "how I describe my feels" talks about it I'm here standing on my podium,
"Being judged,
fighting with two characters.
Myself and society.
<<all they see is where I am.
not what I went through.>>"
That talks about how they see a boy in a good home with nice clothes.
But I went through an abusive past where we were broke and couldn't afford clothes that fit me because it was me and my mom on her gas station salary.
So right now I'm going to get 200 points and I'm going to show support for you by writing about my own. I also read some of your poems about Depression and anxiety and I feel you my DMS are open if your willing to talk.



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35 Reviews


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Mon Jun 29, 2020 7:14 am
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MoonIris wrote a review...



Hi Thisislegacy,
I'm here to review this amazing poem. First of all, you really shouldn't worry if you expressed your emotions well enough. If you didn't tell me I wouldn't have thought that you had difficulties writing down your emotions. I couldn't find any more grammar mistakes than the ones that have already been shown to you. It's a really great poem so I can't say anything negative about it.
Hope you are doing better now,
MoonIris.




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Mon Jun 29, 2020 5:44 am
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LittleLee wrote a review...



Hey, Thisislegacy, I'm Lee.
This poem is really well-written, and it clearly comes from the heart. Throughout it I can sense the bubbling emotions and the sense of freedom you have achieved. While I can't say it's relatable, it does strike a chord in me. If you ever feel like talking, you can always shoot me a PM or post on my wall! <3

Okay. While I said I liked the poem, you did say to tear it apart, so I'm going to nitpick. I'm sorry if I come out as too critical.

it's been spoken so many times

*spoken of

I'm no longer in the shadows of my doubt,

Pretty cool line, but maybe you can rephrase it a little like this: "I am no longer in the shadow of doubt,
and the shackles of old lies."
But it's up to you, of course.

There's your side and mine,

and the side of the truth.

This was nice. And true, as with any matter.

All the evil things that you have done,

the freedom that it has given me.

These lines make an incomplete sentence, actually. Reread it and you'll see. The second line does not conclude what you meant to say, but makes a third line necessary. Unless you say something like, "Have given me my freedom", which finishes the train of thought.


That's all.
It's simple and yet powerful, and I like it for that especially. You haven't used any abstract comparisons to express what you wanted to say. There's also a clear transition of time; from the narrator being drowned and shackled to breaking free. It's rather well done. You've obviously gone through an ordeal, and I want you to know you can always reach out to me!
Good job! I hope you keep writing!

- Lee




Thisislegacy says...


Thank you. I wasn't sure if I showed my emotion well. It was difficult to put the emotions into words that made sense and I'm glad you were able to understand it.



LittleLee says...


Glad to help. :D




One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.
— John Oliver