There was a young woman from Spain
It was true she was pretty and vain
To be realistic
She was narcissistic
From her toes to her flowing brown mane
She loved to go walk in the heat
When she passed a young man on the street
He was suddenly taken
His heart was awakened
He felt his whole life was complete
He approached her with caution and charm
To show her he meant her no harm
To his dismay
She looked away
Dismissed, with a wave of her arm
He hadn’t yet given up hope
For an answer he wouldn’t take “nope”
He tried to woo her
He painted and drew her
With neglect he soon learned to cope
For she did not glance from her mirror
She thought she could not be clearer
Her one true love
Or her lack thereof
Was herself, and nobody nearer
He was blinded by his own affection
For her persona and her complexion
Yet he did not give in
He was so driven
He knew that they had a connection
He bought her the nicest of things
Perfumes, dresses, and rings
She remained cool
She thought him a fool
She was a queen who did not need a king
Then one day she sat by his side
She thought of herself and her pride
It put in perspective
Her actions rejective
She considered not being so snide
All he had done was be kind
And handsome, and smart, and refined
She thought her eyes
Had no room for guys
For herself they always did find
She hugged him close and then she said
“My dear, for me you have bled.
So much sacrificed,
And I wasn’t that nice!
So tomorrow we both shall be wed.”
The two learned significant truths
She should not live without ruth
He found that beauty
Was much more than booty
And they loved in the bliss of their youth
WAIT how does this only have two likes?? I'd have thought it'd have been in the Literary Spotlight for sure!! I super enjoyed reading this poem, especially the first stanza-- it just rhymes so well and I keep on re-reading it because the rhythm is so nice XDD This is great! ^^
Hello, Euphoria here! Happy review day!
This was a delight to read! I was quite impressed by how you had kept up with the rhyme scheme so well throughout the poem, every word flowed one after another perfectly! The story itself is one I enjoyed reading too- although I was worried this relationship between them would become toxic, I'm glad it was ended with a happy ending instead!- with character development for both parties.
I quite like the word choice in this poem as well- not quite formal but not totally informal as well, and the gestures and phrases were expressive- "awakened" "approached her with caution and charm" "dismissed, with a wave of her arm"
Some suggestions would be:
She hugged him close and then she said
“My dear, for me you have bled
So much sacrificed
I wasn’t even nice!
So tomorrow we both shall be wed.”
There was a young woman from Spain
It was true she was pretty and vain
Hey!
I haven't read a limerick in a really long time. I thought you did a really nice job! The story was funny, and it kept me intrigued. I really enjoyed reading it! ^^
My favourite lines had to be "For she did not glance from her mirror/ She thought she could not be clearer/ Her one true love/ Or her lack thereof/ Was herself, and nobody nearer" I thought it was clever and funny.
I too thought it didn't flow that well in some places, but it's mentioned in another review, so I won't repeat.
I don't have anything else to say about it other than I really enjoyed it! Keep writing 
Hello silverquill12!
I love this poem. It's entertaining, the rhyming is consistent and natural, the flow is good, and there's even a message that can be learned from it.
Having said that, below are some grammar and wording nitpicks. After the nitpicks I'll give you my general thoughts.
She loved to go walk in the heat
When she passed a young man on the street
Personally, I would use a word like "once" instead of "when", because I think it conveys what you mean better. But this is just an opinion.
He was suddenly taken
His heart was awakened
He felt his whole life was complete
He hadn’t yet given up hope
For an answer he wouldn’t take “nope”
This line is a bit awkward, if possible I would try and find a way to reword it, however I understand sometimes you need to use an odd sentence structure to get things to rhyme.
He tried to woo her
He painted and drew her
With disregardadd comma he soon learned to cope
He was blinded by his own affection
For her personality and complexion
Yet he didn’t give in
He was so driven
"driven" and "give in" are not perfect rhymes; if possible, I would replace it with another word.
He knew that they had a connection
He bought her the nicest of things
Perfumes, dresses, and rings
She remained cool
She thought him a tool
This is not a critique, just a suggestion in case you hadn't thought of it; this line could also be, "she thought him a fool"
She was a queen who did not need a king
All he had done was be kind
And handsome, and smart, and refined
To make this line flow better, consider changing to "Handsome, smart, and refined"
She thought her eyes
Had no room for guys
For her reflection they always did find
So tomorrow we both shall be wed.”
Whoah! That's quite abrupt
I started to think this was about what your disclaimer told about, but than I realized. Limericks are one of my favorite poetry types, so I have standards. This piece was to the point and still entertaining.
They are separated in a alright fashion. The organization of the first few could have been improved.
~S.M.Locke~
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