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letter to a loved one

by EvaR14

Dear Amy,

"Everything happens for a reason," you used to say, "Everything is by design." 

If this is true, then how careless must our Creator have been?

Stars litter the sky, constellations flung with no care for where they would land. The blank canvas of the night is perfectly structured, clean and constant, yet the paint that decorates it is messy; it lacks attention and precision. Beautiful, but regretfully uncared for. He cared even less about us.

We used to be friends.

It hurts to even think.

Not two years ago we would have been lying here together, underneath the eternal oak tree, hands held together in a quiet declaration of our union. The closest of friends. Like sisters, you once said.

The tree is lonely now. He calls for you to return, misses the sweet lullaby of your voice. I sing to him sometimes, but I know it isn't the same.

Everything' changed now you're gone. Always empty, always tired. Even the birds seem to have changed their tune. I can't listen to them anymore, now that the bright songs they sang for us are gone. They sing only slow and sad songs now.

I wish you would come back. I want everything to be the way it was before. When every clap of thunder and shock of lightning only brought us closer together. When stories only brought us keen laughter and delight.

If only you would return, I would be happy again.

But I'm glad you left. It was best for you, right? You had to go somewhere where your songs could be sung in stadiums, where more than one person would listen to your stories.

I understand. I just wish you would've invited me.

Perhaps I was the one who drove you away. Maybe you realised that I cared for you much more than you cared for me. I may have been the reason you left.

If that's the truth, I'm sorry. Although, if it is, I doubt you will read a word of what I've written, or even stop to think of me again. Did I make you uncomfortable? Is this my fault?

I can't bear the thought. I'm sorry for every way I've hurt you. I'm sorry for not realising sooner that you weren't content. I'm sorry I ever failed you.

I just long for you to come back. It's an ache that fills my body and it never goes away. My heart is so tired and I feel tears ready to fall from my eyes at any moment. In every word I speak there is a prayer for your return.

It's selfish, I know, but I can't help it. I'm sorry. 

I try not to cry for you, I know you'd hate that. When it rains, I pretend that the sky is crying for me. It helps to imagine that I'm not alone in my misery, that perhaps the clouds miss you as much as me. Of course they don't, but it can't hurt to pretend.

Don't come back. It'd be wrong of you to. I hope you're doing well, and I hope you've found the fulfillment you couldn't find here.

Please don't feel you have to write back out of pity. I would rather you ignore what I've said and forget that I exist. I want you to live your life.

I'm not sure how to end this, only by letting you know that this is the last time I will write, should you choose not to reply, and I pray, for your sake, that you forget about me. 

I'll miss you. 

 ---your oldest friend xx

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26 Reviews

Points: 3388
Reviews: 26

Sat Mar 28, 2020 4:58 am
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mckaylaam wrote a review...

Wow, I love this piece. It's an extremely bittersweet poem for me, in that I can definitely relate to mourning a lost friendship (especially one that was with a close friend) but the writing itself is very beautiful. It's honestly hard for me to find something that I think could be edited/improved, since there is so much I liked.

I loved the introduction where you compared the disorganization/carelessness that went into the Creator's placement of stars to the carelessness that went into the care/maintenance of your friendship. The line "Beautiful, but regretfully uncared for" is what really stuck with me and I feel like I've made similar observations before with different things in my life.

I have to admit, though, that there is one part of this piece that did somewhat confuse me. When you wrote "It helps to imagine that the heavens themselves miss you more than I ever could", I wasn't sure at first how this line fit into the rest of the piece. It is still a lovely line, though, and I'm sure you have a reason for including this that I just didn't pick up.

Overall, this was very well written; you were able to capture such intense feelings in a very personal format. Keep up the great work!

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124 Reviews

Points: 0
Reviews: 124

Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:06 pm
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JesseWrites says...

I feel like this is relate able. i have been in that place before. It is not pleasant. Your piece really captures that feeling. The piece touched me more than I thought it would. It was also well done. It was raw.

Hope you have a good day!

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EvaR14 says...

thanks :)

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54 Reviews

Points: 1261
Reviews: 54

Tue Mar 24, 2020 3:58 am
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BhavyaMehta123 wrote a review...

Hi@EvaR14.I do not why but I felt emotional reading all this. I know how it feels when you don't share the same relationship with your close friend as you used to do. I do not have any advise to give except that better days will come. The last line 'I'll miss you' touched my soul.I hope what is best for you may happen.
Welcome to YWS. I hope coming here may prove good for you. May you be able to pour out your emotions and feel lighter.Do not drain yourself. Things will fall into place.
Overall your piece of work was to the point, well written and very emotional.

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EvaR14 says...

thank you


— Someone Incredibly Noncommittal