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Expectations in Red and Gold

by ShapeOfVoid

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54 Reviews

Points: 405
Reviews: 54

Sun Feb 23, 2020 12:43 am
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PlainandSimple wrote a review...

Hey! Here to review.

Your first line had me hooked and by the end my eyes were watery. I think that was because this girl couldn't be who she wanted to be. I felt I knew her like I was in her. I was also sad because of how amazing this poem was and that it ended too quickly. I know that must be the point but it just makes me sad. That just shows you how actually amazing your writing is.

The emotion was so strong. So strong I could feel everything you were trying to make the reader feel. Although it can be easy to show emotion, not to the extent you did though. What I mean by that is, you almost made me burst into tears. Never has a poem made me even tear up. Holy sh*t. I can't even wowowowow! (Sorry I'm writing informally but I just can't believe).

Now to move on to the format. I love it. You have what's happening, and then what she's thinking crossed out because it is "wrong". I can't get over it. It's such a sad poem, but it's even sadder to think that it really happens every day. People who like the same gender are silenced because of the fear of losing there parents. Really good job!

I will be reading more of your work!

_ from your friend
@PlainandSimple _

ShapeOfVoid says...

Thank you so much!

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17 Reviews

Points: 151
Reviews: 17

Fri Feb 14, 2020 4:38 pm
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anarki wrote a review...

Hi @hiraeth! Anarki here for a review!

I know I say this to almost every other poem I review, but, I really love this poem. Of late I have been impatient and not been that into long poems but, this piece has gripped me from the first stanza and it's a shame that all good things, including this poem, have an end. I do empathize with the persona, what a miserable fate the persona has been destined for by the society. Poems can help change, move and alter opinions; at least that is what I would like to believe.

I took a first glance at the poem and noticed the font was large and, there were lines which are italicized and had strikethroughs. It is interesting. I have not seen any other poem with that styling. This styling has helped make distinctly clear the thoughts that the persona can't speak out and honestly how you have achieved that blows my mind.

This piece is pure perfection and I love it. I definitely will read your other poems and I hope I get to read even more from you.

Keep on writing!
Anarki :)

ShapeOfVoid says...

Thank you, anarki!

Age was respected among his people, but achievement was revered. As the elders said, if a child washed his hands he could eat with kings.
— Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart