z

Young Writers Society


12+

What Came From Farleigh - Prologue

by Love


# Prologue

The forest path was grim and full of darkness, shielded from the sun. Thousands of gnarled branches reached high into the sky, casting a heavy shadow over the lands below and killing whatever new vegetation was able to sprout. Ancient dead trunks supported these branches, some split by lightning, but most strangely whole. They rivalled the Towers of Shensei - it was a long way down. Skeletal bushes huddled down in the darkness, sheltered from wind and too poisonous to eat, reminding of an ancient lushness that had been gone for centuries. Nothing had grown in the Accursed Forest for as long as anyone could remember, or in the lands around it.

Still, animals lived in those shadows. Animals that could not be found anywhere else in Edelon. Grey chitons crawled on the wood, gnawing at trunks sluggishly, slow enough so that the poison would not kill them. Sickly birds fed on the chitin, and great trichopods reached up to eat the birds, snapping them from the sky with sickening sounds. Nothing fed on the trichopods.

The forest path stretched in front of her, and the pale girl shuffled along, her pale grey eyes glazed over in a daze, her pale lips open in a stupor. Something called out from the distance. But it was too dark to see. It was so dark.

Where am I?

The thought arrived as if through fog, slow and sluggish like a horse drawing through wet marshes in the rain. Confusion peppered with a hint of anxiety. The girl trembled.

Who am I?

She should know who she is, surely? How could she not know? The girl felt like she had woken from a dream already forgotten. The massive trees surrounded her, caving her in, making her feel small. It was cold and damp, dew forming on her exposed arms. Everything smelled rotten.

She raised a feeble hand to her temple, noticing the splitting headache for the first time. There was ringing in her ears.

The girl shuffled on, not sure what else to do. Walking was the only thing that made sense, the only thought that was not clouded in an impenetrable fog. Moving each limb took all of her mental energy, one step at a time, muscles tightening and loosening.

Briefly she forgot to lift her leg, and stumbled, falling to the ground. The well-travelled dirt hit her hard against the shoulder. She realised she was not breathing. She hadn't breathed at all since finding herself here, and was already suffocating. Did that explain the headache, the dizziness of thought? Clumsily, she willed her lungs to work, trying to breathe in. Why did nothing happen? Her throat felt tight. She forced it to relax, and tried again. This time, cold damp air rushed into her lungs, and she gasped. That felt good. She exhaled, and inhaled again, repeating. She felt like she hadn't done that in a while.

The girl lay on the ground for a long time, learning how to breathe.

By the time she felt ready to move on, the forest was getting even darker. Gold and blue light mixed far up in the sky, where the trees rose beyond sight. The shadows became darker as the light drew dim. What was happening? Why was it getting so dark?

It is becoming Night.

That word. So familiar, yet distant. Like a long-lost childhood memory returning to greet her. Night seemed distant, forgotten and just remembered.

Day gives in to Night, and then to Day. I am Vin.

That last thought sent a shock through her body, and she almost forgot to breathe again. She knew her name. She was someone. There was hope, for something. She didn't know for what, but she existed, and that meant she could continue to exist. The thought was so pleasing. She laughed. Vin laughed. There were places in this world, places where her name might matter!

She only stopped laughing once she ran out of air, and remembered once again to breathe.

I must move on.

Vin tried to get up, rolling over from her back, and using her hands to push herself upwards, only to fall back down again. Her body moved awkwardly, like she did not remember how to move, and had to rediscover it like an old memory. It took many attempts before she was standing again. She looked around, and could barely see in the darkness. Thick roots, like veins, burrowed through the ground into the deepest shadows. If she walked again, she would trip, and then fall. That much she knew. And it would take a long time to get back up.

Vin stood there, feeling the cold breeze on her skin, and shivered. She could not see what she was wearing, but the clothes were not thick enough to stop the wind, the sleeves cut short and the skirts thin. The darkness deepened. A bird hooted twice, and then stopped abruptly with a snap. Something else moved overhead, jumping from tree-trunk to tree-trunk, and then it was gone. Vin's mind was slowly returning, and while she did not feel fear, a sense of danger was slowly creeping over her, enveloping her like the surrounding darkness. Was there a . . . moon? There didn't seem to be one. There didn't seem to be anything now, except the sudden blackness.

Twigs snapped in the distance, and another bird hotted somewhere above. How high did those trees go? Wind rushed far overhead, racketing branches against each other from what sounded like miles off. Strangely, there was no sound coming from behind her. There, everything was completely and utterly silent. It was as if she stood at the world's edge, facing away from a deep chasm that led to nothingness. She could see it in her mind's eye, a sheer drop into the void where nothing living could exist, a void that led from the world, and would swallow her whole if she turned around.

Vin shuddered. She could feel the fear now, biting through her bones. If she did not move, she feared she would be sucked in, sucked back to where she came from, never to leave or laugh again. Those distant sounds no longer worried her. They were signs of life, harbingers of hope. But the darkness behind her . . . .

Her lips moved in a whisper.

"Day gives in to Night, and then to Day.

"Bring light over shadow, let me see my prey."

Suddenly a blinding headache came over her, overwhelming the one before like the blaze of a village fire overwhelming a candle flame. Vin fell to her knees, gripping her head with both hands. She screamed hoarsely, the pain rushing over her like ripples through a pond, echoing with such intensity that could feel bile rising up her throat. It felt as if a thousand knives have pierced her skin, setting her flesh on fire. The pain came with a blinding white light that sickened her to the core, a harsh wicked whiteness that threatened to wipe away her mind and wipe away the world.

She stood there on her knees as the pain slowly subsided, whimpering. She kept her eyes shut, but the harder she closed her eyes, the harsher the white light became. Many moments later Vin noticed that her knees were wet with mud, and she was soaked with icy water. When had it started raining? The rain fell around her, harsher than it should have, dripping in thick streams from the branches. Vin did not dare to move, shivering from cold and shock. What nightmare was this?

Vin slowly opened her eyes. She thought she might have been crying, though with the rain it was hard to tell. Her vision was still white . . . but with her eyes open, she realised that something had changed. The entire forestĀ was now white, brightly lit from below. Her eyes slowly adjusted to the brightness. She could make out everything - the treacherous roots weaving across the ground, the unnatural trees rising high above in their death. Lightning flashed across the sky, rolling across thunderous clouds that somehow seemed closer. Except, it did not flash . . . It dimmed, darkening the entire forest momentarily, casting inverted shadows.

Light became darkness, and darkness became light, forming a nightmarish cacophony of shadows accompanied by blood-dark rain.

In a moment, the lightning was gone, the unnatural shadows disappearing. Thunder crashed, booming through the forest. Vin huddled down in horror, and vomited onto the ground, except that her stomach was already empty. There was something wrong about the brightness that surrounded her now, and it made her sick. There was an unspeakable sense of evil in what she saw. The brightness felt tainted, a forgotten horror that she had somehow awakened, and it threatened to overpower her.

And yet, that void behind her . . . that silence. Steeling herself, Vin forced herself upwards with trembling hands, lifting herself off her knees gingerly. Her skirt was soaked now, pressing coldly against her skin. With the rain, she was drenched. But she could feel that emptiness behind her, threatening to catch up to her. She did not dare to look behind. She knew that if she did, what she saw in the shadows - what she saw in the light - would drive her insane.

Vin walked, slowly at first, gaining speed with each fearful step. She was remembering how to walk now. The forest remained unnaturally bright in her eyes, seething with evil light, but they helped her avoid the roots, and with the presence behind her . . . . Strange creatures could be seen moving behind the trees now, glowing brighter than the surrounding wood, their many eyes staring at her like hundreds of white candles. Massive things with many pointed limbs. They observed her, but did not approach. One of the things scurried up into the trees, lifting itself up numbly despite its size, using its dozen or so limbs to walk between the trees into the branches. Vin smiled faintly - they were signs of hope, signs that whatever it was behind her did not extend here. Wherever she came from, no life could exist. She hastened her pace.

Vin did not know how long she had walked. It could have been hours, or weeks. As hunger and thirst set in, the path blurred into a steady stream of monotonous trees, and the constant headache make telling time impossible. She did not slow though. Whatever was behind her, it was still waiting, beckoning her to come back, to return to the abyss. The more she thought about it, the more the panic grew, forcing her onward.

By the time the bearded men took her, she was near unconscious, her vision flickering with dark and light fighting each other, switching back and forth. She could not remember what happened next, except being overwhelmed by nightmares, by visions of a dark abyss beckoning her to enter, of hot tar running through her veins where her blood should be. She dreamt of the creatures she had seen, and how swiftly and silently they could walk up trees. In the dream, one of them spoke to her, and touched her on the heart with its thin protruding limb. She could not remember what it said, but she ran in horror, fleeing from the words, fleeing from the darkness behind her, a current of fear washing over her. Drums beat in the distance, a regular rhythm of terror, so distant yet somehow familiar.

When she woke, the world was swaying, the trees moving above her in the wrong direction, the sound of wood against dirt and creaking hinges and the chatter of men. She moved in and out of sleep, her body aching. Pain permeated the dreams, and Vin shouted in her nightmares, pleading for them to not bring her back, to take her away.

When Vin woke once more, all was still. She rolled her eyes sideways with great effort, unable to move her body, and caught a clean-shaven man in red robes with circular glasses obscuring his eyes and reflecting a candle. Vin panicked, trying to run, trying to escape these people. Have they taken her back? Were they making her return to the forest, to the abyss? She screamed, her mind in a fever. Where were they bringing her?!

"Sleep, now," a soft voice said. "You are safe."

But Vin did not sleep. The nightmares continued, and something snapped in her mind. Black and white kept fighting each other, shadow replaced by light, piercing her mind with pain. Streams of darkness permeated the dream, springing from person to person, ripping flesh from their bones as they screamed. Someone stabbed her heart many times with a cleaver, but soon he died, and Vin ran from the darkness, ran from the abyss in the forest, the taste of blood on her lips. The nightmares continued, fever and pain brewed together, a broth of boiling fear.

When Vin woke, she was alone, and icy raindrops fell on her from the clear, branchless sky.


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151 Reviews


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Sun Feb 23, 2020 11:59 am
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writerkitty wrote a review...



Greetings! ^-^ I'm here with a review for ya!

This prologue is amazing!

It doesn't give away too much detail about the plot, but just the right amount of info to lure the reader to your story...and your world-building skills are awesome! :O The description you've written about the forest, the creatures and the atmosphere really made me feel as if I'm right there, experiencing it all.

Grey chitons crawled on the wood, gnawing at trunks sluggishly, slow enough so that the poison would not kill them. Sickly birds fed on the chitin, and great trichopods reached up to eat the birds, snapping them from the sky with sickening sounds. Nothing fed on the trichopods.


O.o Now that's one scary food chain...This part gives a perfect idea about the creatures that live in the forest without info-dumping.

To be honest, all your description is really vivid and haunting at the same time... o.o How do you even do that? Like, you describe the beauty, overall appearance of something, but there's some sort of an eerie tone to it. And I love it! It totally suits the theme and genre of your story.

Another thing I really liked, is how you introduced the main character, Vin. I like how you didn't give us any detail about her appearance, how she ended up in the forest, or that she'd lost her memory right at the start. You gradually built it all up while incorporating it with her own thoughts and actions.

How did Vin forget how to breathe? How'd she forgotten how to walk? She knows magic!?

I was bombarded with sooo many questions when I kept on reading.

When you mentioned that she had forgotten how to breathe, I assumed that she might've been 'dead' or something...O.o But then again, there are so many possibilities.

The last part of the prologue confused me as much as it confused Vin... O.o what were those nightmares she was having? Were they just nightmares, or did they really happen?!

And who was that guy who talked to her, and what happened to him? o.o


It's quite interesting how this prologue started with a mystery and ended with A LOT of mysteries. I'm really looking forward to reading the first chapter now because this is packed with so many mysteries and your main character and the world itself seems really unique and interesting!! :D

Oh yeah, and there's one more thing I might've forgotten to mention. I really like how you've written Vin's thoughts and her actions. Rather than the typical, 'confused girl finding herself in a mysterious forest' I think you've created a protagonist ( I think she's a protagonist..) with much more emotions, character and feelings. Her fear and confusion just feel so....real. And that's something I don't see in many written works. ^^


^-^ This was a really interesting, a bit scary and dark (in a good way) prologue and I'm really looking forward to read the first chapter!

Keep up the awesome work!! ^^


writerkitty

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Wed Feb 12, 2020 11:13 pm
Venerator wrote a review...



I have to say, I forgot I was in my room while reading this since the imagery was so vivid. The beginning is trustworthy, well described, and already we are planted into this mysterious yet frightening environment. There is some exciting wordplay here that is wonderfully detailed. There are unique lines scattered throughout this prologue, which is set up beautifully, mind I add.
Though I do have to say, there are quite a bunch of commas despite was appears to be fast scenes. The long descriptions can be taken out to make it seem quicker. Since what you are trying to convey is quick but also detailed, it kind of comes off like a driver hitting the breaks and stopping over and over again.
But then again, the lengthy descriptions do help to describe Vin's surroundings, which you are immensely great at writing. I just recommend smaller sentences, since too much description can become an overload.
But other than that, this is extremely interesting, and I hope to read more soon!




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Wed Feb 12, 2020 10:49 pm
PlainandSimple wrote a review...



What a mystery! There are so many -cliff hangers- which make this a fabulous piece of work! It makes me so interested to read more. Each sentence made me want to read more and more. Maybe it gave me a much-needed adrenaline rush. I am in awe I would have to say. The descriptions in this are the right amount, not too overpowering. Amazing job.

_from your friend,
PlainandSimple_





Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.
— Madeleine L'Engle, Author