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Saw you die

by vagrant


This is my first song. I have a composition in mind but I have neither the resources nor the talent to actually record it. Hopefully, sometime in the future, I will create the song but till then, here are the lyrics. Please do let me know if you have any suggestions. Thanks.

VERSE1
I had a dream and I saw you die
while I just stood there, hoping it was all a lie.
Just like that, you were gone
and I couldn't help but cry.

I sprung up off my bed.
I was shaking my head
and got out in search of you.

It was early morning six.
You were packing your things
'cause last night, I asked you to.

PRE-CHORUS
All I want to do is to pray
that my dream never comes true.
'cause it scares me to know
that I could lose you.

CHORUS1
So tell me,
Is it okay if I want to hold your hand?
Is it okay if I want to kiss you on your neck?
Is it okay if I want to take you back to bed?
Is it okay? Is it okay?

Is it okay if I want to cancel your cab?
Is it okay if I don't want you to go back?
Is it okay if I want to forgive you?
Is it okay? Is it okay?

VERSE2
Let's be with one another while we still have time.
Let's just forget we ever had a fight.
Oh, what's the rush?
Just stay here one more night.

I know you kissed him
but does he love you 
as I do?

I know you hate me
but do you really
have to?

PRE-CHORUS
All I want to do is to pray
that my dream never comes true.
'cause it scares me to know
that I could lose you.

CHORUS1
So tell me,
Is it okay if I want to hold your hand?
Is it okay if I want to kiss you on your neck?
Is it okay if I want to take you back to bed?
Is it okay? Is it okay?

Is it okay if I want to cancel your cab?
Is it okay if I don't want you to go back?
Is it okay if I want to forgive you?
Is it okay? Is it okay?

BRIDGE
If you had a dream, and you watched me die
would you still hate me or would it make you cry?
would you shed a tear
or would you just walk by?

I know you don't love me anymore,
but oh please, just don't leave my door.

I know that life one day has to end,
but would it hurt you to stay here just one more second?

PRE-CHORUS
All I want to do is to pray
that my dream never comes true.
'cause it scares me to know
that I could lose you.

CHORUS2
So tell me,

Is it okay if I want to look at your face?
Is it okay if I want to touch your skin?
Is it okay if I want you back?
Is it okay? Is it okay?

Is it okay if I want to hold your hand?
Is it okay if I want to kiss you on your neck?
Is it okay if I want to take you back to bed?
Is it okay? Is it okay?

Is it okay if I want to cancel your cab?
Is it okay if I don't want you to go back?
Is it okay if I want to forgive you?
Is it okay? Is it okay?

OUTRO
Oh, would it hurt you to stay one more night?

Let's be with one another while we still have time.


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Comments



User avatar
93 Reviews


Points: 4473
Reviews: 93

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Sun Feb 23, 2020 7:19 am
Wordzyy wrote a review...



Hey, Vagrant!

This lyrics of yours is deeply emotional.
The tone of the lyricist is sincere, longing and powerful. With every rhetorical question there it made my heart sink


When I read it I was singing <3
I'm not a singer actually but the lyrics made me to. That's cuz it connects with the heart of the reader.
Each and every line is a symphony.
And yeah my heartbeat synchronised with the music of these words.

If you had a dream, and you watched me die
would you still hate me or would it make you cry?
would you shed a tear

This above line is my favourite! Makes one well up. Loved it <3

I wish you the best!!
Hope you record it soon. You will.
Thanks for sharing it here.
Great read :) Enjoyed it.
Keep up the awesome writing!

Looking forward to more of your lyrics!
Have a great day!




vagrant says...


Thanks for the wonderful review!



User avatar


Points: 54
Reviews: 4

Donate
Fri Feb 14, 2020 5:10 pm
deleted9 wrote a review...



This is a very insightful song that reads very rhythmic and flows fluidly like poetry. The lyrics awaken a longing and very deep ache within the reader and we can sympathize with the speaker. The imagery creates a sense of desperation and pining for the absent lover that makes the lyrics more profound. I am very curious to know what this song sounds like and I am certain it would be even more beautiful! Keep up the lovely work!

-- theperishedrose




vagrant says...


Thank you for the lovely review!



User avatar
54 Reviews


Points: 405
Reviews: 54

Donate
Thu Feb 13, 2020 2:29 pm
PlainandSimple wrote a review...



Hello!

These lyrics go really deep. This song would be loved by all of the public. I wish I could hear how it would sound because that would make it even better. I know this is the first song you've written, but it's really an amazing start!

If you did ever sing it (even though you said you didn't have the talent, but anyone can be anything) I think it would be a hit. The ending really raps the whole song together, and it makes you hope that she will stay. I guess this song puts you in a place of mind of sadness, which is great. Many people are looking for songs to get in there feels, so this is perfect.

I hope that someday you can post this song somewhere, and I'd love to hear it :).

Amazing job!




vagrant says...


Thanks so much for the review! I am glad you like it!
Man, I wish I had a better voice and could sing xp I am just so bad at singing. Anyway, thanks a lot again, it really means a lot!




If I seem to wander, if I seem to stray, remember that true stories seldom take the straightest way.
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind