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To the men that broke my heart

by Storygirl88


To the men that broke my heart, each of you played a role in the person I am to today.

To the first man that broke my heart.

You were supposed to be my father, my protector, someone to count on through life. The times I spent waiting for you to pick me up for our weekend. Always excited each time hoping that you will show up; but you almost never did. You would rather get high then deal with your only child. After years of disappointment I had enough and told you I never wanted to see you again. You didn't even try to fight for me; that is how you broke my heart.

To the next man or should I say boy.

You were my best friend, I loved you with all of my being. I dreamed of the day that I would confess my feeling and we would be together. When that day finally came, I told you I loved you, you said it back. Then you said you already had a girlfriend and you weren't going to break up with her; because she was older and more experienced that you wanted sex. Well we were only 14 why do you need sex at this age; I was not ready. You crushed my heart and I lost my best friend.

To the man who forced me.

You were a coworker at the camp we both worked at, we hit off right away. We as group with our other friends were hanging out at your cabin drinking and having a good time. I don't like to drink so I only had one. I started to feel weird so you walked me to my cabin; and that's when you did the worse thing anyone could do. You violated me, took my purity while I was vulnerable unable to fight back. I woke up the next day naked covered in blood feeling ashamed and scared. I stopped trusting men, I got depressed. I was at the point of thinking I was better off dead. You are the reason I look over my shoulder whenever I'm out.

To the man who used me.

You were the light in my dark cloud. While our romance wasn't long you made me feel special. Telling me how beautiful I was and how hard you were falling for me. I gave you my heart, soul, and body; after that you said it wasn't going to work out taking back everything you told me. I was just an easy fuck you said, making me feel worth less and used.

To the man that will never break my heart.

You can thank all the men before for making me the person you love. For letting me go so I'll be all yours. You owe them everything.


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20 Reviews


Points: 21
Reviews: 20

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Sat Feb 15, 2020 1:11 am
Josie24 wrote a review...



Okay, to start: "To the men that broke my heart, each of you played a role in the person I am to today." I am to today doesn't make sense.

Next: "To the first man that broke my heart." If you are addressing these sections to these people, you should have a comma, not a period.

Next: "After years of disappointment I had enough and told you I never wanted to see you again." It doesn't flow right. Try: "After years of disappointment, I had had enough. I told you I never wanted to see you again."

Next: "To the next man or should I say boy." Add a comma after man.

Next: "You were my best friend, I loved you with all of my being." The sentence doesn't flow. Try either "You were my best friend; I loved you with all of my being." or "You were my best friend, and I loved you with all of my being."

Next: "I dreamed of the day that I would confess my feeling and we would be together." Suggestion: "I dreamed of the day that I would confess my feelings, the day we would be together."

Here: "Then you said you already had a girlfriend and you weren't going to break up with her; because she was older and more experienced that you wanted sex." This sentence, specifically the ending, is off. Maybe it should be, "Then you said you already had a girlfriend and you weren't going to break up with her. She was older and more experienced; you wanted sex."

Then: "Well we were only 14 why do you need sex at this age; I was not ready." Maybe it should be changed to: "We were only 14; why did you need sex at that age? I wasn't ready."

Finally: "I gave you my heart, soul, and body; after that you said it wasn't going to work out taking back everything you told me." Suggestion: "I gave you my heart, soul, and body; after that you said it wasn't going to work out. You took back everything you told me."

I'm sorry that you went through this; not all men are bad, as you found out when you found the last guy. The one that will never hurt you, force you, or break you. I want to find a guy like that someday. I hurt, reading that. Knowing that is what the world has come to. I'm sorry for the experiences you had to go through, to be the person that you are today.




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16 Reviews


Points: 494
Reviews: 16

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Sat Feb 01, 2020 12:11 pm
IamI wrote a review...



Hello. This is my review.

My to greatest questions after reading this are “is it true?”, it seems depressing enough, and “what is it?” While I can’t answer the first of these I can answer the second; this is not a poem, and it is not a work of narrative, so that leaves one thing: the prose poem. This oxymoronic thing is just as confusing as you would expect, essentially, it is a work of prose that employs poetic devices like repetition, onomatopoeia, and imagery (all works of written word employ this last thing, poetry simply does so to the greatest extreme), but it is written in the form of prose, meaning there are no line breaks, only standard punctuation and paragraphs. Now I’m sure you’re wondering why I mention this, there are three reasons, the first reason is that the more words I put into a review the more points I get, the second reason is that I was quite proud of myself for figuring out this little conundrum, and the third reason (probably of the most interest to you), is that you MADE one, I’m probably exaggerating the impressiveness of this, but this a very weird form and you managed to make a decent work in it (most likely by) accident, I would suggest going back and trying to reverse engineer what you made here and try to do it again to practice.

Now onto the nitty gritty grammar stuff. You put a space in the word ‘worthless’ in the final line of the fourth section, making it say ‘worth less’ the two mean the same thing (almost the same thing, worth less is a more verby way of saying, like ‘the carrots are worth less now.’ And worth less is more of an adjective) I just think having it as two words feels awkward, also as I look at this line again, I would suggest reworking the whole line, the cause-comma-effect thing here seems kind awkward. Next is the opening to one of the sections, “to the man or should I say boy” I think there should probably be comma in there, maybe something like “to the man, or should I say boy” while this definitely sounds more cliche I believe it is more grammatically correct.

To sum up: this is good, you made an interesting, genuinely affecting work, there are a few grammar issues, but nothing to serious. This is promising and I to see more (less depressing maybe?) works from you.

That was my review. Goodbye.





Anything's possible if you've got enough nerve.
— J.K. Rowling