Hey, GirlWithATypeWriter here for a review.
First off, I applaud your efforts. Writing rap is not everyone's cup of tea and you have managed it extremely well. Even as I read it, the words in my head sounded like it was being rapped. I was able to listen to the tune and that was amazing.
Now a little bit onto the actual content of the piece.
I like how you haven't used flowery language but managed to deliver with simple words the depth of the poem. The punctuation in the poem is done extremely well and it looks very pleasant to read.
My most favorite lines were:
"No, I don’t blame you.
No, I don’t hate you.
But, man, how much I love you,
How much I trust you."
I really feel the pain in these lines and can relate to it.
I thought that the line "Man, the amount of ache on the floor --- oh, wow." was kind of tacky but I'm honestly just nitpicking at this point.
Overall a great poem and I hope to see more from you.
XOXO
Keep Writing!
Points: 67
Reviews: 31
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