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Fear and Confidence

by Lib


iv. Fear and Confidence

i stare down at the crowd,
from up high on the stage.
i see someone lurking.

is that Fear?
my mouth opens,
and my stomach lurches.

this isn't right.
i shouldn't be up here.
i'm a back-up.
i shouldn't be up here.

no no no.

i look down at the crowd,
from up high on the stage.
i see someone dancing.
is that Confidence?

my mouth opens,
and the words flow out.
just three words
from the Wizard of Oz

"Dorothy? Who's Dorothy?"
was all i had to say.
just three words.

.

A/N: I messed up the capitalization on purpose, so don't bother saying anything about that. :) 


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Fri Sep 23, 2022 5:14 am
LadyBug wrote a review...



Hi Libby! Jade here to give you a short review! I like this poem in its entirety, I think it's well written, the stanzas are pleasing and the poem is super relatable. I like how you have fear and condience capitalized, it makes everything feel like a play, which is what I think you intended! My one critique is that your last stanza's line is a bit weak. You could have finished a strong poem on a high note, but it feels a bit underwhelming.




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Sun May 31, 2020 6:50 pm
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Mageheart wrote a review...



Hello! I'm here to review your poem - as promised.

I'll start with the title. After reading the poem, it's clear that it's meant to represent the personifications of Confidence and Fear present in the stanzas - it's more than just the feelings of fear and confidence. I like how it represents the actual content of the poem, but I also feel like the title of the other people you asked me to review is more alluring. It feels a little too general. If you changed the title so it had more to do with the other parts of the poem, you could change it to something like

dorothy? who's dorothy?


or

just three words


Both still relate to the content of the poem, but are more intriguing to the reader.

Now onto the rest of the poem!

Going into the poem, I wasn't really sure what to expect from it - it wasn't until I read the first line that I realized it was a poem about stage fright. I actually acted in the Wizard of Oz in seventh grade as a member of the ensemble, so this poem hit really close to home. The combination of the poem's formatting, lack of capitalization and that one line stanza of "no no no" in the middle really made your poem stand out.

I love your takes on Fear and Confidence as well. It's a creative way to tackle stage fright - especially when Confidence doesn't usually get acknowledged in a way like this. I've seen a lot of works that personify fear, but this is the very first one I saw where Confidence was represented by a person.

My one piece of advice is to build on the Wizard of Oz connection. The first five stanzas are great, but they're general experiences. It's the last two stanzas that make the reader really connect to the speaker.

All in all, I really like your poem! I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to be bingereading and bingereviewing more of your poetry in the future. :)

Image




Lib says...


Thanks for the review!! :)



Mageheart says...


You're welcome! I hope it was helpful. :)



Lib says...


It is!! :]



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Mon May 25, 2020 9:38 pm
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Beautifulsparkle wrote a review...



I like how this poem shows how fear and confidence van inflienve us in stressful times and even in times were we feel in our element.
I love how you described fear as someone looming and joy as someone dancing. And the simplicity of the role in the play made me laugh altough it was realistic that one would feel a bit scared in front of a crowd of people even though the role is a small one. The important thing is to make the moment memorable anyway so the duration is not that important, it's the joy of acting that matters too. Your poem is very beautiful.




Lib says...


Thanks! :)



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Sun May 10, 2020 7:01 am
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jennydonnelly2 says...



Hey! I love this poem. You explained something complex and made it something that eases through my head. I had to go in front of my school for a speech and this is exactly what it was like.




Lib says...


Thanks & I'm glad you can relate to it!



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Sat May 09, 2020 2:55 pm
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BhavyaMehta123 wrote a review...



Hi Lib! This is a nice poem and my first experience on the stage has been like this. Although I gave my speech properly. But, anyways this has been a little relatable. Going on the stage is not easy and to get that required confidence and patience is difficult.
I loved how you kept the poem as simple and as raw as you could. Facing the crowd is a tough job. Some people fumble and some pull it off like a pro. But every experience matters.
Overall, it was a nice, well written and beautiful poem. I enjoyed a lot.
All the best for your future works and Keep Writing!
From: Bhavya




Lib says...


Thanks for the kind words! %u2728






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Fri May 08, 2020 3:02 pm
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Plume wrote a review...



I really like the simplicity of this poem. The personas of 'Fear' and 'Confidence' really add a lot to the poem. The parallels you draw with your language and word choice really up the level of eloquence. The ending stanzas and the repetition of 'just three words' really sums up how the speaker feels about this event, and how trivial it really was. A couple suggestions:

1. I think that when you use the word "lurking" to describe confidence, it has a bad connotation. You could possibly try changing it to something encouraging to really set the mood.

2. I wasn't exactly sure what you meant by "my jaw click[s]." The only way that made sense to me was if the speaker had abruptly closed their mouth and then heard their teeth click, but the line before says that their mouth is open. Maybe I'm just not getting something.

3. If you wanted to make this poem longer (and you don't have to! I really like the simplicity as is) I would really like to see more descriptions of Fear and Confidence. I think you could do so much with that.

Lovely poem! I enjoyed it very much. The personification was phenomenal.




Lib says...


Thanks for the review! It was very helpful! :)



Lib says...


Also, instead of "lurking" how's "dancing"? And for "my jaw clicks", what do you think about "my stomach lurches"?



Plume says...


Yes!! Both of those work great.



Lib says...


Alright, thanks again!




It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
— Mark Twain