If one seeks a story, they must look for the bones. If you find bones in the forest, stay for awhile and listen. The ones in the forest are especially skilled in the art of spinning tales. They tell stories of long ago, before the trees stretched tall enough to brush the sky with brittle fingers. If you listen long enough, they may whisper accounts of how the streams wound their way through the forest, carving out canals and shaping the land around them in ways that only the water can. On rare occasions, when the stars align between dew-drenched leaves, the bones in the forest might tell you a spell or two.
They aren’t the type of spell that so many are used to. These spells are not the gibberish fabricated by people who cannot stand the world they live in, and in turn, they create others. No, these spells are too simple, yet too complex, to be caged by a few letters. They are spells woven into stories and uttered between the crude syllables of human tongues. They ensnare the mind and twist the threads of reality into living things that tread the faded border between two worlds. Some have attempted to assign them a name. Some call them “fate”. Others refuse to hear or accept it, pushing the idea away and insisting they are in control. However, that is beside the point; there are some questions we were never meant to answer. Only the bones in the forest know the spells and tell such stories. So, my friend, if you seek a story, seek the forest’s bones.
“The bones by the sea, ” you ask? I happen to be an expert on those bones. It’s such a tragedy that so many of us are experts in harmful things. If you see bones by the sea, run back the way you came. The bones by the sea carry a warning. If you’re foolish enough to stay and listen, you’ll catch the faint echoes of splintering boards, drunken hymns, and siren songs drifting between the rasp of waves scraping across the smooth planes of sand. They pull you in, warping the senses until all you can see, smell, hear, taste, and touch is the sea and her bones. A wise man will tell you, “stick to the forest paths and the kinder bones.” The path where grass and dirt meets sand and sharp protrusions of rock can only lead to us. And we can only whisper warnings of our master which fall upon deaf ears until the last thing you hear is the faint lilt of the siren songs drifting through the fog.
I like the style of your writing and it has an abstract feeling to it. But sometimes i feel like you are trying too hard. Maybe its just me but in some parts of the story I don't really understand what you are trying to say. But you are a great writer and you will be a even greater writer if you keep on writing?
Nice and eerie feel to this. I love the sentence: "It’s such a tragedy that so many of us are experts in harmful things." Though I might stay away from using the word "thing" in this kind of situation.
The imagery you use is crazy because it's so specific but you can't REALLY bring up the picture in your mind. It's vague in a cool way.
One thing that puts me off is the big chunk paragraphs. Not everyone has a problem with them, but they're a bit of a turn off for me. I don't like looking at them. Maybe consider breaking them up a bit, but in a meaningful way, not just randomly for the aesthetic.
This piece reads like an exposition of dark, rich, semi-realistic fantasy novel, and I'm loving that vibe. Cool story overall.
Keep wiriting!
Nymeria
This is so lovely! I have what I call "bland fantasy" and "rich fantasy." The first is fantasy where I like it, but it just feels a little too squeaky clean. This is ABSOLUTELY rich fantasy. For me, that's fantasy that feels real. I'm actually a practicing witch, and sometimes the way magic is written really resonates. That's absolutely how this feels. It's so earthy, and just mysterious enough to keep its intrigue. If you're thinking about writing more fantasy, absolutely go for it! This shows a lot of potential. Keep writing!
I absolutely love this story, it’s incredibly powerful, and the whole thing has this air of magic and wonder. This imagery you use is especially descriptive, and even though there is not really a overarching plot to this, I know exactly what it I say speaking about .
It is incredibly gripping and I wouldn’t say any part of the story is over or under written, you use beautiful words in the perfect ways, it doesn’t feel too forced or too underwritten
This is one of the best pieces I’ve read in a while, and I love your writing style I really hope to see more from you
Honestly, I'm not a fan of fantasies. But this piece, I truly liked it a lot.
I loved your vocabulary. You used a pleasant tone throughout the story that was quite fascinating. No drama, no exaggeration, just simple and charming.
I personally love imagery, and you used it perfectly in this piece. It was resonant, made me see the images clearly in my mind.
The paragraph in which you relate 'Fate' with the spells in a forest bone was an interesting one. And the para that followed, where you describe the more harsh bones, was even more gripping. The sea truly gives us a deeper and more moving insight into life, and at times it is a harsh insight.
There was only one thing that I didn't understand. 'The path where grass and dirt meets sand and sharp protrusions of rock can only lead to us.' What did you mean here?
I liked the story pretty much. I'd love to see more from you.
Keep writing.
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