Young Writers Society

Hey ShadowVyper, Katja here to review your poem. As with all of my reviews, please feel free to disregard any comments or suggestions I make, should you find them unhelpful. That being said, let's get into the review~

Overall Thoughts

So.... Wow. Honestly, your poem impacted me far more than I was prepared for when I clicked on it. The poem details an abusive partner and the effects "he" has on the narrator. The way you personified depression was well done and didn't overuse the "abusive spouse" to get the point across, but instead used subtle and well-fitting stand-ins. Very well done~

The beginning of the poem discusses mental illness and how it often carries a very negative stigma. From there the narrator ponders whether or not family and friends would recoil upon seeing the darkness behind the smile- the reality of their battle with depression. The narrator then contemplates suicide to escape the "abusive spouse"/depression- all the while wondering if their family/friends would know the reality of what they went through and why they would have taken their life.

So firstly: If you ever find yourself in a dark place, please reach out to someone. There are resources and many people who care- never feel alone because you aren't. ♡

Secondly, your poem is very emotional and really hit hard- Poetry and writing rarely effects me at all, but yours did. I found myself in tears reading this- it really hits home, but that aside- I could feel what the narrator felt. The way you detailed the charm of the "suitor" drawing you in and locking the door... How depression seeps in and often relentlessly lingers... The way the invisible bruises left by depression are unseen by those around you, yet pain you nonetheless... The "voicemails" that little voice in your head relentlessly dragging you with all the worst negativity... and the soul-crushing loneliness. A sad and difficult topic to write about... But well-written and bringing to light what depression is really like~

Suggestions

Or merely treat it as cold,

...your friends don’t want to listen to you to constantly go on about him.

Ok, the blank message was an accident. Lol

This is a deep subject and I like how you've written it. You've delved into a subject that many people are afraid of or deny because they don't know how it works and how to handle it. Likening mental illness to an abusive spouse places it in a fresh, informative light that people may be able to relate to better. Very good work!!

And by the way, I've experienced depression, so I know what it feels like. You are not alone. There is hope for all of us.

Here for you if you ever need to talk. My PM box is ALWAYS open... And I have been through a lot, so nothing will scare me away... I promise. <3

<3