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Young Writers Society


18+ Language Violence Mature Content

Ice & Magic - Chapter Two

by ScarlettFire


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

For Tenyo's LMS V. Word Count: 1,919.

Chapter Two

The screaming echoed down into Nagendara’s cave. It was a desperate, strangled sound that was quickly smothered. The sound snagged her attention. She'd heard them arguing for a while now, heard the girl begging them to let her go and later yelling for help. It had been distracting and preventing her from sleep, but now it was starting to worry her. Who dared intrude on her territory and cause such distress?

Nagendra raised her head and swung it towards the mouth of her cave. She peered out into the forest for a long minute, considering the disturbance before she finally heaved out a frustrated breath and staggered up onto her feet. There was magic in the air, something she hadn't sensed in, gods, years. So many years. She'd forget exactly how many. For now, though, she reached out for that magic and gave it a little tug. It was just to see if the magic would respond, really. Just a test to see if it would let her in. And it did, it responded to her. It let her pull a little bit into herself, just a small amount, just long enough to shift forms and retain that other form for a few hours. Long enough to go see what all the yelling had been about without scaring them all. Nag doubted they had seen a dragon in a very long time.

She spent a moment stretching, testing out a form she hadn't used in centuries. It fit her rather well, dark-haired and dark-eyes, skin pale as the snow she remembered from home. Nag smiled and ran her hands over the simple dark purple gown she'd willed into existence at the same time as she'd shifted shapes. It was pretty, with black embroidery down the front and along the skirt's hem, and a little more on the sleeves. Simple, yet elegant. It would do for the moment.

After a quick glance about her cave, Nag stepped out into the forest. She could still hear what sounded like a struggle. It was only a short distance away, and all the louder for it. She set off towards it, carefully picking her way through the trees and hoping she didn't step on anything. Luckily, she avoided the worst of the undergrowth and autumn leaves, and was finally close enough to see what all the commotion was about.

What she saw made her blood burn in anger. Peering through some thin foliage, she found two men holding a young woman down while a third checked on the boiling pot off to one side and began to make what appeared to be tea. There was a wagon nearby, the door standing open. From where she stood, though, Nag could smell the disgustingly sweet, rotting odor. It made her stomach roll and she curled her lip up in distaste. That, if she remembered correctly, was Bittersweet. A nasty herb which, when dried and turned into a tea, put the drinker into a state of sluggish confusion. It was deadly in large doses, and poisonous in smaller ones. It was the kind of herb that killed slowly, even in the smallest quantities. Large ones just killed you quicker. Nag pegged these men for slavers. No other job, apart from the healer variety, would dare to use it.

She watched as they sat the young woman up. There was blood smeared across her forehead and down one side of her face, some old and some fresh. She could smell it, the tang of metal and hot, potent life. There was a nasty, jagged cut along the girl's hairline, from above her left eye right across and down past her ear. Nag saw that she appeared dazed. Most likely by the most recent blow to her head, and the way they'd smothered her not too long ago. She could see bruises forming around the young lady's throat and over her lower face. They were definitely slavers, then. Healers had far more compassion than this lot. Beyond them, she spied a tent and a couple of horse. Two of the horses, a bay mare and a white mare, seemed to aware of her but tolerating her presence. Perhaps she would keep them. The third horse was a colt, young but sturdy with a pitch black coat and a grey mane. He seemed to be staring right at her, despite her coverage of trees, and almost obsessed, as well. That was...interesting.

"She done trying to run away?" the man by the fire asked, not looking towards his two companions. Nag jerked her gaze back to the mortals in the small clearing. It only took one man to hold the girl steady. The other stood and headed for the horses, passing between the man by the fire and the open wagon. "Well?"

"She be a 'andful, aye," the second man said as he passed the first man, his accent heavy. "We calmed 'er down good 'nough fer ya."

The man by the fire turned towards him, cup of poisonous tea in hand. "That's good, then," he muttered and turned towards the girl. "Hold her up for me, and make sure you keep her steady."

"Aye," said the third man, adjusting his hold on the young woman. Nag watched as the first man approached the pair, tea held carefully level as he lowered himself onto a handy nearby log.

"I thought the tea was wearing off earlier," the first man mused, grabbing the girl by the hair and jerking her head back a little. He pressed the cup to her lips in a gentle manner, a distinct contrast to the fingers digging into her hair. Nag's gaze narrowed. "Decided to wait. Worst decision I've ever made, eh?" He smiled then, as the girl began to sip at the tea. "That's a good girl."

"Da 'orses are secure," the second man grunted as he returned to the other two and took a seat by the fire. "We'd be be'er off not listenin' ta yer in future, Delfan. Yer's gonna get us in trouble wit' da boss."

"Screw the boss," Delfan muttered, pulling the cup away and wiping a finger over the girl's lips. "He's got enough problems without us adding our petty ones to the list."

"Screw da boss, 'e says," muttered the third man, shaking his head. The second man glared at him while Delfan stood and went back to the fire.

"Shut up, the both of you," he snapped, cutting through their chatter. "Gerard has his own priorities, boys. Stop arguing about stupid things."

"Yer would know, wouldn't yer?" the second man hissed, sneering at Delfan over his shoulder. "Yer are da one screwin' 'im."

"Nah, nah," injected the third man. "Dinna yet 'ear? Da boss is screwing 'im." He sniggered into his hand, jerking the other thumb over his shoulder at the first man. "Ole Delfan likes ter be da one 'e 'olds down!"

Delfan sent the pair an icy look. "Shut up," he growled. "Are you two deliberately doing this or are you just that daft? I can hear every damned word."

The second man snorted. "Dat's da point, Delfan."

"Tarq, ya idjit!"

"Nuiq, shut yer trap!"

Delfan sighed, the exhaled sounding exasperated to Nag, as if he dealt with this all the time. He seemed to ignore their banter, even as Nuiq laid the girl down and stood to lean over Tarq. Neither one paid attention to the way Delfan stared down at the girl, one hand resting on his belt buckle. It wasn't until he began to undo it, the sound of metal-on-metal-on-leather cutting through all their heavily accented talking. Nag, on the other hand, had made a little abortive twitch towards them. Tarq and Nuiq were staring at the older man.

"Yer sure dat's a good idea?" Tarq asked, soundly suddenly concerned. "Delfan...What Gerard said..."

"Boss said we wasn't ter touch 'er," Nuiq added after a moment. "Dinna think it's wise, sir."

"Screw what Gerard wants," Delfan snapped, turning to glare the both of them down. Nag chose that moment to move, stumbling into the clearing in a lost manner and making as much noise as possible before swinging her gaze up to the three of them. "He can find his own fucking hea--"

"Uh, sir? We's gots company."

Delfan span round to find Nag stand just inside the treeline, fingers curled into the skirt of her dress, twigs and leaves caught in her hair, and a rather confused look on her face. She knew she looked like a good opportunity for another slave. "Um, hello? Could you perhaps help me?" She offered them a shy smile. "I'm a little--"

"Lost, eh?" Delfan finished for her. The smile he gave her was wry. Tarq and Nuiq exchanged glances, but Delfan was staring at her. His hands were no longer on his belt, but it was still partially undone. Delfan cleared his throat and turned away.

"Well, yes," Nag said, deliberately backing up a step. Now that she was in the clearing, she could smell the girl's magic--sharp and smelling of clovers. She tried not to inhale too deeply. The girl's magic called to her like the forest called to deer. If she breathed it in, she’d be incapable of freeing the girl, and she needed her magic or she was going to fade into obscurity eventually.

"Yer good an' lost, girlie," Tarq said, giving her a suspicious look.

Delfan turned back and studied her closely. Nag was glad to see that he was dressed properly again. "He's right, you know," he muttered, eyeing her up and down. "This far into the forest there's no roads and no villages." He straightened up and fixed her with an equally suspicious look. "Who the hell are you?"

Nag hesitated, gaze darting to the pretty blonde girl on the ground behind him. Delfan didn't look away. "Someone who doesn't like slavers," she spat with a vicious smile. Nag took a determined step forward. "Let the girl go."

Delfan snorted. "You really think I'll do that?" he asked, tilting his head to the side. He smirked. "No can do. The boss would kill me."

"I'll kill you first."

Delfan burst out laughing. He gestured to her, at the human face she wore. He didn't know what was beneath it, though. "You?" He shook his head and lurched forward to grab her dress by the collar. "I don't think so."

Nagendra's smile turned wicked. "You are going to regret this," she said and grabbed his wrist. She gripped it tightly and twisted it away from her. His fingers loosened and then slipped off her collar. Delfan grimaced. "Now, let her go."

"No," he grunted, and Nag sighed.

"Very well, then."

With that, she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. The girl’s magic flooded into her, surging through her veins and deep into the core of her, soaking into her bones and boosting her own magic, deep down where her dragon form slept. When she opened her eyes, they glowed a deep purple. All three men were watching her warily, but it was Delfan whose eyes went wide in terror.

“Oh, shit,” he whispered, backing up a step and shoving the other two in front of him. Nag let him run; she would hunt him down later. Meanwhile, she had two giant idiots to devour and a pretty mage girl to rescue.

“You made the wrong choice,” she hissed, and let her dragon come roaring to the surface.


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Thu Jan 02, 2020 2:08 am
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soundofmind wrote a review...



We out here, reviewing. Let's get this bread.

She'd heard them arguing for a while now, heard the girl begging them to let her go and later yelling for help. It had been distracting and preventing her from sleep, but now it was starting to worry her. Who dared intrude on her territory and cause such distress?

I'm crying lolll. With the like, second sentence I was already like, oh my gosh... Nag sounds like a pretty morally grey character already. Definitely not the gung-ho hero type, but already has me intrigued!

Nag doubted they had seen a dragon in a very long time.

OMG NAG IS A DRAGON!!! AAAAAAAA!!!! DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON

Two of the horses, a bay mare and a white mare, seemed to be aware of her but tolerating her presence. Perhaps she would keep them. The third horse was a colt, young but sturdy with a pitch black coat and a grey mane. He seemed to be staring right at her, despite her coverage of trees, and almost obsessed, as well. That was...interesting.

I'm absolutely loving Nag's narration. Like, she sees horses who notice her - her first thought? Oh maybe I'll keep them. Like, wow I wish that were me. But how does she even plan to do that? She just gonna hop in there and take the horses? Nag, I understand you're a dragon, but I do not understand what you're planning here.

Also quick little echo for Jabberhut's comment - I did find it kinda impractical that Nag would choose a dress but I get like, if you don't take a human form a whole lot, maybe she just wanted to dress it up I guess. But if I were here I wouldn't have wanted to climb around the trees and bushes in a dress.

"Screw the boss," Delfan muttered

Uh, oh, Delfan. Them's fighting words. And those sound like last words.

Nag chose that moment to move,

I mean, thank GOODNESs. I was gonna say GURL IF YOU DON'T DO SOMETHIN SOON I'M BOUTTA RIOT

If she breathed it in, she’d be incapable of freeing the girl, and she needed her magic or she was going to fade into obscurity eventually.

Now this is really interesting. Now I'm wondering how Nag's magic works. It sounds like she draws from the magic of others? But I'm not sure? I am confused on the magic rules, and my brain is immediately like, "wHAT IS THE MAGIC SYStEM!!" so don't mind me as I overthink everything.

Also wow. I love love LOVE the way that ended. Nag sounds so cool and I'm so glad that she's saving Ceri. I kind of wish you wouldn't have stopped there though because I want to know what exactly her magic looks like and how it plays out but I have a gut feeling this is a time skip setup and it's gonna skip to when Ceri and Nag are together - which is something else I look forward to.

Lowkey wondering though where this is all headed if there's already some conflict resolution already for Ceri getting saved. Not mad that she's saved of course, but I'm just wondering where the plot's headed. Will Deflan come back? What kind of game is at play with Gerard? Will these two gals end up taking down an entire human trafficking ring and save a bunch of other women who've been caught up in it too?

All that to say I have loads of questions, and I'm very excited to read more! Great job with this chapter! Flow-wise it feels super solid!

sound out!




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Sun Oct 20, 2019 12:46 pm
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JabberHut wrote a review...



HI, SCAR!!

I have been itching to read this for days now, and I'm finally here! And I have no regrets! It's like a guilty-pleasure fantasy read. Dragons and magic, pretty dresses and damsels in distress! Plus, you're now developing intriguing relationships that gives this a fun element of intrigue in that regard.

I really, really like Nag. She clearly has her own sense of duty, fashion, and preference. She's independent. We don't know much about dragons yet, so I wonder if she's the only dragon nearby or if she's a rare case. I'm guessing she's not that rare as Delfan seemed to recognize her eventually as a dragon, I assume, so it's just an unfortunate happenstance. Do dragons typically live in forst caves? Should Delfan have been aware there was a cave? Though, he and his friends seem rather stupid anyway, so they might not have consideredt he possibility of dragons.

Back go Nag, though, she's so pretty and I love her dress and I love her demeanor and she seems so freaking fun. I feel like she and Ceri would have such a fun and interesting relationship! I did find it peculiar that Nag wore such a beautiful gown through the forest. You'd think as a dragon, she would know that it's far more practical wearing pants at least (or nothing at all ;)) as the dress would just be frustrating to manuever in. It did come in handy for a more damsel-in-distress look later, but there's no way she saw that coming to plan that during her dressing scene. It just seemed impractical consdiering how wise dragons tend to be, and Nag seems to be just a wise!

Two of the horses, a bay mare and a white mare, seemed to aware of her but tolerating her presence. Perhaps she would keep them.


This just made me laugh. I love this so much. Coupled with the comment about the cat, though, it's also incredibly interesting. I look forward to hearing about her interests in these animals! Like, does she collect horses? Are they her favorite dessert? Do cats usually ignore her? Are they not usually intuitive about magical presences?

It's also so much fun to finally see some actual magic involved. We do see the sleeping draught used on her, which I guess Nag decided was harmless enough to not step in at that point. I'm glad she did later though. I think every reader would cheer for her then. XD STILL, she's using MAGIC. We don't get to see much of it, but it's fun to know that a main character is using magic! And it's PURPLE. THE BEST COLOR. It was a little weird that the three slavers glowed purple and then she turned into a dragon (I think), like I expected magic to affect them, not her. XD

But now we can assume she has Ceri! And I am SUPER excited to see them interact. Like I said, I think they could potentially have a fun relationship dynamic because they seem particularly unique. Plus! Dragon! And healer! IT SEEMS SO... STRANGE? But SO cool? It would be full of taboos considering all the rules around healers! I wonder what will happen...

Looking forward to more! Keep writing!!

Jabber, the ONe and Only!




ScarlettFire says...


Thanks, Jabs <3 OOF QUESTIONS OKAY GIMME A SEC!

Uhhhhh, so....dragons are kinda rare? Like, legit a dying breed? And she just happens to live in this particular cave at the moment. She's got a properly home faaaaar to the North.

Delfan doesn't really care, tbh. He just wanted to get away from the town and deal with their catch. XD Delfan definitely knows about dragons and would have known it was a possibility, but yeah. Dragons are rare so they weren't too concerned about one showing up UNTIL ONE ACTUALLY SHOWED UP. lol

As for Nag and animals. It's rare for her to find animals that actually tolerate her presence, so she likes to, uh...collect them? XD Y'know, bc she's a DRAGON. XD

Also, yes. MAGIC. FINALLY. And purple is SO the best colour! (Oh, they didn't glow purple. Her magic when it manifested did and that happened to like...cast a glow over everything? So yeah... That probably wasn't very clear, sorry ;-;)

YES, SHE HAS CERI. So yay, time for some fun and awkward interactions.



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Wed Oct 16, 2019 7:10 pm
Raelyn wrote a review...



Already you have built this very visual fantasy world. I loved how you talked about magic like it's a life force. Here you said: She'd heard them arguing for a while now, heard the girl begging them to let her go and later yelling for help. One question to consider is why does your character listen to this a not go automatically? Not because I don’t think it is good, but what about your character makes them chose to wait this out. Also is the girl that the men have captured someone that is going to be a main character? If so would this change any description you would use? I try to write questions so you can answer them and choose for yourself what you want to change. Overall this is a very nice piece it has very rich description, and very interactive dialogue. Keep up the writing. I also wanted to tell you that this has a very nice flow to it. I like the strength of your character and how you talk about her raw magic. Also it is very mysterious that the main character could sent magic in this girl, that really got me going.

P.S This is all my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. I hope this helps.





I always knew that deep down in every human heart, there is mercy and generosity. No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.
— Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom