z

Young Writers Society


16+ Language

Chapter 3: The Gilmore Guy and Mariano Girl

by DottieSnark


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

Summary of the previous chapters: Lorelai's troublemaker but genius of a son, Jess, has been accepted to the prestigious prep school, Chilton. She hopes it will straighten him out. Despite being estranged from them Lorelai went to her parents for the tuition money and struck up a deal to attend a weekly Friday Night Dinner with them.

The new school is harder than expected and Jess already feels overwhelmed. Meanwhile Lorelai has discovered a runaway, Rory, and hopes she can help the girl.

~~~~

Rory didn’t come to Luke’s. She was nowhere to be seen in the whole town. Jess, of course was in a mood all of Monday night, obviously pissed about her late pick up. Tuesday morning he was in a slightly better mood and got breakfast with her at Luke’s, but made sure to get in a snarky comment about how reliable the bus was before he left.

The whole time at breakfast Lorelai stared out the window hoping to see another sign of Rory. There were no signs. It was like she was a ghost, gone from the town forever. Lorelai failed her before she ever really got a chance to help.

Defeated, Lorelai walked into the Independence Inn and saw Michel standing behind the reception desk.

“There is something you need to take care of.”

Lorelai let out a groan. Already with the demands. “I need coffee,” she said. She already had three cups at Luke’s that morning but it appeared that wouldn’t be enough. She headed for the kitchen. Michel stepped out in front of her, stopping her from getting her coffee. A bold move.

“This cannot wait!” Michel said.

“Always so dramatic,” said Lorelai.

He pointed out at the lobby. Lorelai turned to see what he was pointing out. It was early so there were few folks around. Not even Drella, the harpist, had arrived yet. An elderly couple were strolling arm in arm toward the door, a bellboy was headed for the stairs and a young lady was sitting on one of the couches, reading from a book. Lorelai could only see the back of her head. It was in a messy ponytail and there was dirt on her shirt. She seemed out of place in a fancy inn like the Independence.

“She said you told her to come here.” Michel pulled out a crumbled business card. Lorelai’s business card. Michel’s nose twitched.

Lorelai slowly moved toward the girl, as if any sudden movement would make her scatter. Was it who she thought it was? As she got a look at the girl’s profile she recognized the face. Rory!

“You came!” Lorelai said through a grin that went from cheek to cheek.

Rory was startled. She always seemed to startle easily. She put down her book. “Um, yeah.” She looked at Lorelai for a second before looking at the ground. Her fingers tapped on the book. “You told me to.”

Lorelai took a seat on the couch next to Rory. Rory slid a few inches away. It seemed like an involuntary reaction. Like Rory was scared of Lorelai and was trying to protect herself.

“You okay?” Lorelai asked.

“I just need a place to stay—I’ll work for it.”

“Where’d you sleep last night?”

The girl bite her bottom lip. She didn’t answer.

“I’m assuming not indoors?”

Rory suddenly stood up. “I shouldn’t have come,” she announced, and ran toward the door.

Lorelai couldn’t let Rory take off again. She may not have been able to stop Rory from running yesterday, but she’d be damned if she didn’t stop this girl today. “Rory stop!” her commanded in a boom voice. All activities in the lobby ceased for a moment and all eyes feel on Lorelai.

Rory froze in place and Lorelai ignored the watchful eyes. She sprinted across the lobby, her heels smacking the carpet hard and harder with each step. Somehow those wholesale priced shoes help up despite the stress she strained on them.

Finally Lorelai reached the girl, and grabbed her hand. Rory’s eye were wide and moist and her breathing was ragging. The poor thing had started to shake. A loose strand of hair had come off of her ponytail and was resting in front of her face. Lorelai pulled it out away from Rory’s eyes and tucked it behind Rory’s ear.

“Let’s get you cleaned up. Get you some fresh clothes. Then we can talk about your future.”

Rory nodded. Everyone else went back to mind their own business as Lorelai escorted the girl out of the lobby. Rory wouldn’t stop shivering, though.

~~~~

Jess arrived at his school a little before classes started. He felt nervous about having to go back. Yesterday was Hell. What would today bring? He smoked a cigarette outside the school’s gates. Students and their parents walked by. A few looked at him in disgust. In less than twenty-four hours he was already a social pariah. No surprise there.

A man walked up to him. Tall, well dressed, dark hair. He seemed to be around his mother’s age, maybe a few years older. He carried a briefcase. Clearly a teacher.

“No smoking on school grounds,” the man said.

“Huh,” Jess said and took a drag. He blew it in the man’s face. “Well it’s a good thing I’m not on school grounds.”

The teacher coughed and took a few steps back from Jess. His eyes were bugged out and nose slightly flared. Jess prepared himself for a lecture. “School grounds continues 100 feet past the fence.” The man’s voice stayed calm despite Jess’s disrespect.

Jess was surprised he didn’t get in trouble. He wondered how far he could push it. “Guess I’ll just walk 100 feet that-a-way then.” Jess began walking away.

The man grabbed Jess’ backpack and pulled him back. The cigarette in his mouth almost fell out from the yank.

“No, because you're already on school grounds. If you leave, that’s considered bunking.”

“This is bull—”

“Watch it.”

Jess rolled his eyes as he realized there was no talking his way out of trouble this time. In fact, if he kept it up he’d only be getting himself in more trouble. For once, he made the smart decision and complied, but that didn’t mean he was nice about it. He took another drag before throwing the cigarette at the man’s shoes. The man jumped back and yipped. Jess smirked and began to walk toward the school.

“Wait,” the man said.

“What now?”

The man held out his hands. “The pack.”

“What?”

“The cigarette pack. Cigarettes aren’t allowed on school property. They’re considered contraband. Hand them to me. Or do you want me to have Headmaster Charleston informed about this incident?”

Charleston had already made it clear that Jess on thin ice at this school.

“That was my last one,” Jess lied.

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

Jess ground his teeth. This guy was really getting on his nerves. He reached into his blazer pocket and pulled out the pack. It was nearly new too. The teacher took it and Jess was forced to watch them get tossed in a nearby trash bin.

With a sneer on his face Jess was finally allowed to get away from this teacher. He wandered around outside for a few minutes until the warning bell ran, getting his last breath of fresh air for the next seven hours. Then he went inside and headed for his first class, the one he missed yesterday. When he entered he stopped in his tracks. Sitting behind the desk was the teacher he just had just had the confrontation with a few minutes ago.

The teacher turned and saw him. “Ah, you must be the new student?” The teacher acted causally, as if nothing had just happened between them, but there was a twinkle in his eye. The man flashed Jess a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Jess Gilmore?”

Jess nodded.

The teacher extended his hand for Jess to shake. In his shock Jess accepted. “I’m Mr. Medina.”

~~~~

Before she knew was she was doing Lorelai had convinced Rory to get into her Jeep. Rory seemed to calm down as they drove through Stars Hollow, but Lorelai wondered what Rory was thinking? To her, Lorelai was still just some stranger. For all she knew Lorelai could be some serial ax murderer. But Rory sat there in silence, not giving Lorelai an idea of what was going on in that pretty little head.

The Jeep pulled down Lorelai’s home street. It was dirt road tucked in by some trees. There were only a few houses, with Lorelai’s at the end of the street. Lorelai lived on one of the more secluded streets in Stars Hollow, only lending creditability to the serial ax murderer theory she was sure Rory had conjured up. She parked in her unpaved driveway and got out.

Rory continued to sit in the car and stare at the Gilmore House. Lorelai’s house wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t small either. Two floors, a nice porch, trimmed with white fencing. It was light blue with medium blue shutters. Homey. For a second Lorelai could imagine her and Rory hanging out on the porch swing, painting each other’s toenails. Rory belonged in a house like this, not out on the streets.

“You coming?” Lorelai asked.

Rory exited the Jeep and made her way over to Lorelai. She looked at the house again. “Where are we?”

“My house.” Lorelai walked toward her front door.

Rory followed at her heels. “Why?”

“I told you, you need to get cleaned up. You’ll take a shower, I’ll give you some clean clothes to wear. Have you eaten?” Lorelai fumbled with the lock before opening the door.

“Not since yesterday.”

“I’ll make you something. And by that, I mean I hope you like Chinese because that’s about all the leftovers we have and leftovers is all I can make.”

Rory didn’t respond. She was too busy looking at things in the foyer and living room. It was a bit messy, clothes and magazines littered the floor and coffee table, but it was actually pretty clean by Lorelai’s standards. Rory ran her hand across each piece of furniture, touching the desk by the window, then the couch, and then the shelf over the fireplace. She stopped there, and held up each picture. First was a professional done baby picture Emily had made of Jess when he was a few months old. Then she picked up one of Jess dressed as a pumpkin for Halloween when he was a toddler. Jess’s latest school portrayed was next to that, and then there were some of their friends. The people in the photos were all familiar faces that Rory would probably meet if she stayed in Stars Hollow: Dave, Sookie, Luke. Lastly she picked up one of the few pictures Lorelai had from her childhood. It was of Lorelai standing in front of her parent’s manor.

“Is this you?” Rory asked.

“Yeah…I was, life, five or so when that was taken?”

“Trip to the local historical mansions?” Rory asked

“Something like that.” Lorelai wasn’t about to tell this girl how she ran away from a life of luxury and wealth. Rory might also be a runaway, but there was a pretty good chance she wouldn’t understand Lorelai’s reasons for leaving. The things Lorelai had imagined about Rory’s background were so much worse. Yes, living with the Gilmores was terrible, but at least she always had food on the table and a warm bed to sleep in. She was never conditioned to filch at the sight of a stranger.

“Come on!” Lorelai said. “The good bathroom is upstairs, down the hall. I’ll get lunch ready.”

Rory nodded and took a few steps toward the stairs. Then she turned back at Lorelai. The woman was still smiling at her. “Why are you doing this?”

“I told you.”

“But why are you being so nice?”

“I’m a nice person. I’ve got references!”

Rory shook her head. “Nobody’s this nice.”

“Well then I’ll just have to prove you wrong.”

Rory frowned. “I guess there’s not use in looking a gift horse in the mouth, right? I’ll be ready when you tell me what the real payment is.” She went upstairs without another word.

Lorelai’s heart broke a little. To be so young and so jaded. She would do everything in her power to prove Rory wrong and show her that there really are kind, selfless people who just want to help. She would be this girl’s Mia.

While Rory was in the shower Lorelai searched through her closet to find something for Rory to wear. She couldn’t find anything for the girl in the closet so she walked over to her dresser. She opened the top draw, tugging hard because that draw always seemed to jam. The jewelry stand sitting atop the dresser jiggled as necklaces clattered into each other. Lorelai looked at them. She stared at one in particular. It was a locket which Lorelai knew to have two pictures inside. Lorelai hadn’t worn it in years. When you live in a house where you can be surrounded by your favorite material possessions all day lockets don’t seem like such important mementos.

Lorelai picked up the locket and opened it up. The pictures brought a smile to her face. The first was of her holding Jess. He was so small snuggling in arms. The picture had been taken a only a few days after he was born. The second was of Jess, a few years older, maybe three or four, running toward the open arms of Mia. Mia had a huge smile on her face, ready to catch Lorelai’s son in her loving arms. In the background of the picture Lorelai could see potting shed where she and Jess lived together for so many years. Those were good years. That was before Jess turned into an angsty teenager.

Lorelai rubbed her thumb over that second picture before bring the locket toward her chest and holding tight. She wanted to go back there, relive those memories, seeing Mia again and Jess happy.

Lorelai unclasped the necklace and put it around her neck. It had been too long since she had worn it.

She continued searching for clothes for Rory and wound up finding a cute, floral print t-shirt and some black sweatpants that had been shrunk in the wash. Rory seemed a little skinnier than Lorelai so the tighter the fit the better. She headed down the hall just as the showered sounded like it was turning off. Lorelai walked over to the bathroom and knocked.

“I have some clothes for you,” she said and placed them on the floor. “I’ll just leave them by the door.”

With Rory’s clothes taken care of she went downstairs and into the kitchen. She took out two plates and the many boxes of leftovers. Lorelai starting making herself her own plate with her own favorites, which was basically just a mountain of all the different types of Chinese food piled on top of each other. She was putting it in the microwave as Rory entered the kitchen.

Rory was dress, the clothes were actually a pretty good fit, and she held a damp towel in her hand that she was still using to squeeze her wet hair. Lorelai handed her empty hand a plate for the leftovers. “Dig in,” she said.

Rory stared at it dumbfounded.

“I have a lot of different options. Kung Pow Chicken. Hunan. Sweet and Sour.”

“You really like chicken, huh?” Rory asked.

“You’re not a vegetarian, are you?” Lorelai asked. She hadn’t even thought of that possibility before. She had no vegetarian options in the house. What was she going to do?

Rory shook her head. “Even if I was I don’t think I could afford to be that picky right now. Thanks.” Rory scoop a small amount of each box onto her plate.

“Uh-uh,” Lorelai chastised and grabbed the plate from Rory. “Have you eaten since those pancakes yesterday that you only took five bites of?” She piled each box onto the plate like she had with her own. The microwave beeped and Lorelai exchanged the plates. She handed the heated up plate to Rory. “Here, you eat first. They’re basically the same now.”

“This is too much.”

“So I’ll send you back with leftover. Haha, leftover-leftovers.”

“I mean…I mean your generosity is too much.”

“Nonsense. It’s just food.” But Lorelai knew it was more than just the food. It was the clothes, the shower, the offer of a place to stay. The microwave beeped again. Lorelai took her plate and sat down at the table. Rory sat down across from her. “Eat!”

Rory picked up a fork and took a bite. Her eyes nearly rolled back in her head. “Oh this is so good.”

It really wasn’t. It was leftover’s from Al’s Pancake World, and as the name would imply his international cuisine was pretty subpar.

“So can I ask you a question, and it is a question that usually makes you eyes dart toward the door?”

“You want to know why I ran away?”

Rory wasn’t playing coy anymore. She just full on admitted to being a runaway. Well that was a step in the right direction.

“You don’t even have any stuff other than a notebook and the clothes on your back. It doesn’t seem like you put a lot of thought into this. Did you just hop on a bus and leave?”

“I just couldn’t stay where I was anymore. And that’s not me being dramatic. I really don’t want to get into the details, just trust me, leaving was the only option.”

“So why Stars Hollow?”

Rory shrugged. She stirred the Chinese food with her fork but didn’t take a bite.

“You said a friend told you about it? About the festivals?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. That.”

“Which festival?

“Huh?”

“Which festival did you friend go to?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? Your friend told you about Luke’s Diner but not about the actual festival that they came to town for.”

Rory shrugged.

“Come on, I get enough of this avoidance crap from my son. I’m trying to help you.”

Rory’s knuckles turned white. “You’re not trying to help me. You’re trying to help you over inflated sense of an ego by telling yourself you’re helping some poor kid. But I’m not so naïve and clueless. I can take care of myself.”

Lorelai’s lip quivered. Was it true? Was this really just an ego boost? No, this was her paying it forward. Mia did this for her, and she was doing this for Rory and Rory would do this for another little girl. It was all circular.

Rory’s furrowed eyebrows relaxed and she took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled. I’ve just had a really stressful couple of days.”

“If I’m not handling this right…”

“No, you’ve been, like I said, just too nice. I’m not used to it. It’s hard for me to accept that someone is actually being genuine and kind and really just wants to help. Do you still want to help?”

Lorelai smiled. “Of course.” She watched as Rory eat another timid bite of the Chinese food and vowed to never give up on this girl.

~~~~

Lunches at Chilton were better than most cafeteria schools. It better be for the price of tuition they were paying. The fruit looked freshly picked and the meats looked fully cooked. The students still had those metal trays ever cafeteria in America had, that were warped slightly from being power-washed too many times over the years, but that didn’t effect the appeal of the meal. Jess placed a hamburger on the middle of tray. It slide askew, toward the off-center warp. He took fries as his side, which also slid toward the warp. With a coke from the soda machine his lunch was ready. Not very healthy, but it would’ve been Lorelai-approved.

Jess sat down at one of the tables closest to the door. The tables in the cafeteria were made of fine oak wood and had matching chairs. It looked less like a school cafeteria and more like a dining room in an upscale restaurant, albeit with teenagers dressed in matching uniforms. Jess was alone as his table. No one ever sits with the new kid. He plopped a fry into his mouth before opening his backpack. There was one of the seven class notes binders inside, the one from English class. There was just simply not enough room to fit them all, and his textbooks, and the rest of things, inside his backpack. He pulled out the binder and placed it next to his tray. It hit the table louder than he expected. How did these Chilton teacher ever expect him to catch up on all this material? How in the world was this just an overview?

Jess opened the binder to the first page. There was a table on contents. When a study binder needs a table of contents you know you’re in trouble.

The chair across from him was pulled out and someone sat down. Jess looked up as Tristan stole a fry. “Reading anything interesting? I think War and Peace is a little thick for lunch.”

Jess looked down at the binder before looking back up at Tristan. “Yeah, we all know how HarperCollins new marketing campaign is selling classics in 3-ring binder form now.”

Tristan pulled the binder away from Jess and turned it his way. He looked down at the topic. “Shakespeare’s a classic.”

“Shakespeare is Mr. Medina’s lesson plan.”

Tristan put the binder back into place. He kept sitting there. Why was Tristan always hovering around him? Didn’t he get that Jess didn’t want to be his friend? Jess just wanted to be left alone.

“Having trouble catching up?”

“It’s my second day,” Jess said through gritted teeth. Who did this guy think he was to judge Jess? It was a lot of material. He’d like to see how fast it would take Tristan to go through 7 binders of just overview. Jess tried to ignore the other boy. He flipped the page open to the first section: Shakespeare’s Biographical Information.

“You know who could help you study?” Tristan said.

“Somehow I don’t think the guy who didn’t know Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy is going to be any help,” Jess said, referencing something stupid Tristan had said in class this morning.

Tristan lips curled up into a smile. It seemed nothing Jess would say would upset the guy. Tristan was unflappable and took everything in stride. “Actually, I was thinking about someone who prided herself on being the smartest. Someone who’s emotions were malleable. Someone sitting directly behind you.”

Jess turned around. Paris was sitting one table away, lecturing her two best friends, Louise and Madeline, about how they weren’t taking their studies seriously. How those three ever ended up together he would never know. Like Jess Paris had a pile of study materials in front of her alongside her lunch. Louise and Madeline, on the other hand, were counting out portions from a snack-sized bag of Frito's as their desert to an all too skimpy salad. Jess turned back to Tristan.

“No.”

Tristan laughed. “Why not. All you have to do is flirt a little. Compliment her hair then go in for the kill.”

Jess glared at Tristan, hoping he’d finally go away.

Tristan stood up. Did it work? Did Jess scare him off. “Trust me,” Tristan said, still as smug as ever. It didn’t work. “Girls like Paris just was to serve guys like us.”

Jess blinked. That caught him off guard. He tried to organize his thoughts before speaking. “What do you mean guys like us? What do you think I’m like?”

Tristan shrugged and then finally walked away, just as Jess had gotten interested.

What the Hell was Tristan talking about? “Guys like us”? Jess wasn’t like Tristan. Tristan was a smug asshole who manipulated people and bought his way through life. He obviously paid his way into Chilton because he was clearly to dumb to get in on his own accord. He was nothing like Jess who grew up in a single-mother working-class home. Sure Jess’s grandparents were from that world, but Jess wasn’t. Had Tristan confused Jess for someone from the world of privilege? Is that why Tristan was trying so hard to form a bond?

Jess shook his head and tried to concentrate on the words in front of him. He was too distracted though. He wasn’t like Tristan and the rest of these rich preps at this school. He slammed the binder shut and ran his fingers through his hair before leaning back in his chair.

“We have an English papers due at the end of the week, you dumb bimbos!” Paris yell behind him.

Even though it clearly wasn’t directed at him, Jess wasn’t a dumb bimbo, Jess took the command to heart. He needed to get back to work. He had to write that paper too. He sat forward and opened the binder back up. Time to study. 

~~~~

With Rory clean and fed Lorelai brought her back to the Inn in a ride that was all too quiet. There were certainly a lot of things to think about, for both of them. Lorelai was making a list in her head of all the things she needed to do for Rory. She’d move Rory into the podding shed where she and Jess used to live, get her some work assignments, maybe put together a few more hand-me-down outfits to give to her. There were forms Rory needed to sign if she was going to start working at the inn, but Lorelai got the feeling that Rory might not be up to filling those out. Mia had paid Lorelai under the table for the first few months she lived there, until Lorelai turned 18. Mia would understand if Lorelai had to do the same for this girl.

Then there was the question of if Mia should be informed. She would probably want to know that Lorelai was giving back Mia’s generosity to a new generation, but she also didn’t want to put Mia is another hard position. Mia was the owner, after all, and Lorelai was heading into some legal gray area. It was probably best to wait until things settled with Rory before she told Mia what was going on.

Lorelai and Rory arrived at the inn and entered into the lobby. Michel gave them both the stick eye, which made Rory tense, but Lorelai just smiled and waved at him, pretending not to notice. She found a key behind the desk, the one to the podding shed, and returned to Rory.

Before they went to the podding shed, though, she wanted Rory to meet Sookie. They made a beeline for the kitchen.

Sookie was in the middle of preparations for lunch. Her assistances whipped by her as they added chopped vegetables to her soup and combined all sorts of ingredients together.

“Sookie!” Lorelai said with a smile almost as big as the one she gave Sookie last Thursday. “There is someone I want you to meet!”

“48-49-50,” Sookie said, then handed a mixing bowl to one of her assistance. “50 more strokes. Not one more, not one less, you got that?”

“Si,” he said and took the bowl from her.

Sookie joined Lorelai and Rory by the entrance as Lorelai poured two cups of coffee.

“You drink?” Lorelai asked

“Oh no—oh coffee?” Rory said. “Yeah, I drink coffee.”

Lorelai handed her the first cup with a smirk. “You thought your new boss was trying to get you drunk before your first day even starts?”

Rory laughed nervously and took a sip.

“New boss?” Sookie asked. “You hired someone new? Are you kitchen staff? How are you dicing skills?”

“Oh, no, I can’t cook. I think my culinary skills stop at opening a bag of instant mashed potatoes and adding milk.”

Sookie frowned.

“I’m not kitchen staff, right?” Rory asked.

“No, no, no. Maid,” Lorelai said. “And don’t worried about not being able to cook. That’s for Sookie’s for. She’ll fill you up with all sorts of goodies.”

Sookie stared at Lorelai and Rory, looking them both up and down and blinking way too much.

“Hey, Ror, why don’t you check on Carlos’ batch of cookies.” Lorelai pointed at one of the men by the ovens. “Sometimes he uses too much nutmeg, and I want your honest opinion.

Rory did as she was told.

“You think so?” Sookie asked. “I actually think is problem is more of a cinnamon over powering the cookie type thing—”

“Sookie. I was just trying to get you alone for a sec.”

“Oh!” Sookie said, and then she lowered her voice to a hushed tone. “This about the new girl. What is the deal with that?”

Lorelai matched the quite tone. “She’s a runaway. Kind of like me when I came here.”

Sookie made a gesture over her stomach.

“I’m not sure. She might be pregnant but it might be something else. It’s just…”

“Mia helped you so you want to help her?”

“I’m that see-through?”

“No. You’re doing a good thing.”

“I hope so. I’m going to have her stay in the podding shed and put her on the schedule. Can you make sure to put a little food aside for her every meal.”

“Will do…so…”

“So what?”

“So tell me about Jess and Chilton!”

Rory joined them back towards the kitchen entrance. She held three cookies in her hand and offered one to each Lorelai and Sookie. Sookie shook if off but Lorelai took one, leaving Rory with two. “They’re really good,” Rory said with her mouth full. “I don’t think there’s too much nutmeg…though I’m not really sure what nutmeg actually tastes like.”

“So you want to know what Chilton is like?” Lorelai asked Sookie, bring the conversation back to Jess.

“Yeah!”

“Well me too.” Lorelai bite hard into her own cookie, and a couple crumbs fell to the floor.

Sookie frowned. “Jess not feeling chatty?”

“Is he ever?”

“Well that could be a good thing. Nothing bad has happened yet. At least he hasn’t been suspended yet.”

Rory stood there silently, eating her cookie and Lorelai realized the she was airing her dirty laundry in front of a stranger. She shouldn’t be making Jess look so bad, no matter how much he was annoying her. Time to talk him up.

“I told you he just needed a new environment. He’s the smartest kid I know—and I’m not just say that because I’m his mother. He’s going to thrive in private school, I promise you.”

Lorelai stole another cookie from Carlos and then hurried Rory out to the back garden. They walked across the neatly manicured lawn and toward a shed. Lorelai opened it and walked inside. Rory followed her.

“Well this is it,” she said. She breathed in the dusty air, as if each particle was filled with memories of her early life in Stars Hollow. “Home sweet home.”

“This was your home?” Rory asked. Maybe she didn’t seem the charm yet. She would. Lorelai just had to help her imagine it.

“Yeah, for about ten years.” Lorelai pointed to a corner. “We kept the beds there.” She walked over to the other side of the room. “And we had a curtain over this half of the room and had a tub in here.”

Rory nodded as Lorelai spoke but didn’t say anything. She just needed time to adjust to the room. With a little TLC it would be just as it once was, and Rory would love it. “Thank you,” Rory finally said, her voice strained.

“I know you don’t have many, or actually, any things other than your clothes. By the way, you can keep the sweats. But I can get you some more things. I’ll get you a mattress, and you can use the inn’s sheets and blankets as long as you bring them to the laundry, just consider it a part of your job, and I can put aside a few more outfits for you.”

Rory turned around and walked out of the podding shed. Lorelai followed and got outside just in time to see Rory fall to her knees, crying. Motherly instinct took over and Lorelai was on the ground next to her, fresh dry cleaning be damned! She pulled Rory into her arms and let the girl stain her blazer with tears while Lorelai stroked Rory’s hair. Rory heaved against her as she cried.

Maybe she really hated the shed, but Lorelai didn’t think so. You expect to stay in crappy places when you run away. There was more to this. Rory was keeping so much locked up on the inside. Hopefully in time she would learn to trust Lorelai and begin to heal. For now all Lorelai could do was hold the girl as she cried. 


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
760 Reviews


Points: 31396
Reviews: 760

Donate
Mon Sep 02, 2019 11:26 pm
View Likes
ExOmelas wrote a review...



Hiya, I have very little else to do tonight so have another review!

The teacher extended his hand for Jess to shake. In his shock Jess accepted. “I’m Mr. Medina.”

hehehe I knew it.

For a second Lorelai could imagine her and Rory hanging out on the porch swing, painting each other’s toenails.

Awwww I see what you did there :,)

The things Lorelai had imagined about Rory’s background were so much worse. Yes, living with the Gilmores was terrible, but at least she always had food on the table and a warm bed to sleep in. She was never conditioned to filch at the sight of a stranger.

I like that you're acknowledging this aspect of Lorelai's upbringing. I feel like there were very few actual poor people in that entire show. Even Liz seemed to be doing vaguely okay to the extent that Jess wasn't starving on the streets.

Lorelai rubbed her thumb over that second picture before bring the locket toward her chest and holding tight. She wanted to go back there, relive those memories, seeing Mia again and Jess happy.

This was a really nice addition. I like that you're keeping the theme of Jess's angst going rather than it just being a tone thing.

Jess turned around. Paris was sitting one table away, lecturing her two best friends, Louise and Madeline, about how they weren’t taking their studies seriously.

You know, I wonder this like every time. Maybe they knew each other from when they were really small? Like how Paris referenced she'd known Tristan from a very young age once.

Okay I don't normally pick up on typos but I'm pretty sure it's "potting shed" not "podding shed". I think they keep pots there. For gardening and stuff.

I am very excited to finally be able to focus on plot stuff. I don't think there was a single strand of this that was lifted right out the show. All I can see is that reference to Sookie very carefully counting out meringue stirs. Even the introduction to Max is different.

And that's great, because it means I can get more invested rather than just going on a nostalgia trip. You're doing really well with Rory, giving us a bit more here and there and a whole load of conflicting sides to her personality.

Jess continues to have different sides to him too, and I like the way his pride takes a hit and he starts to study, even if there's nobody around to see. I'm sure he cares about his own image of himself anyway. I think maybe it would help to have a more focused idea of where this storyline was going, although of course it's episodic like the show. The thing with Rory seems to be a lot more like a prose story or even a different kind of show, the way it drives forward and the plot is always thicker than it was before. I'm unsure how that's going to fit in with the episodic nature of the Jess stuff, and presumably the Max stuff when that happens.

Not to make this chapter even longer, but I'd have liked this to end with Jess and Lorelai interacting. I think you're slightly in danger of this becoming Gilmore Girls, with the focus on the relationship between Rory and Lorelai. I think you're currently in danger of this because that's the most engrossing part of the plot, whether that's because it's the most original or most focused. So yeah, some more Lorelai and Jess interaction just to keep them in touch with each other, even if it's just Jess being grumpy, would be good.

Hope this helps,
Biscuits :)




DottieSnark says...


Yeah, this was the chapter where my own story kind of starts taking on a life of its own. I actually do have an idea of where this story is going. I have...17 chapters written, lol. Jess's first character is arc about to take a lot of focus, which will then shift to a Rory arc. But the way I'm writing thist story, to be episodic does mean those arc happen slowly so maybe it does look like I have no plan, lol. I hope that's not a bad thing.

I also definitely have some more Jess and Lorelai interactions coming up, although I have to say one of the hardest things about this story is keeping the story balanced between the characters.

Thank you so much for the review! :D



User avatar
382 Reviews


Points: 15691
Reviews: 382

Donate
Sat Aug 17, 2019 6:51 pm
View Likes
Dreamy wrote a review...



Hello there! Let's jump straight into the review.

Typos first:

“Rory stop!” her commanded in a boom voice.


"Lorelai commanded..."

Charleston had already made it clear that Jess on thin ice at this school.


...was on...

Jess ground his teeth.


...grounded...

Before she knew was she was doing Lorelai had convinced Rory to get into her Jeep.


... what she was doing..."

The Jeep pulled down Lorelai’s home street.


...at...

Yeah…I was, life, five or so when that was taken?”


...like...

that second picture before bring the locket toward her chest and holding


...bringing...

Lorelai starting making herself her own plate with her own favorites,


Came across a few tense change in this chapter. "...started..."

Rory was dress,


...dressed.

Jess was alone as his table.


...at...

Paris yell behind him.


...yelled...

but she also didn’t want to put Mia is another hard position


... Mia in...

How are you dicing skills?”


I mean, if that's she talks, I'm sorry. If not, then "your"

bring the conversation back to Jess.


...bringing...

Maybe she didn’t seem the charm yet


...see...

Okay, this was a good chapter. I like how you show both Lorelai and Jess's life in the same chapter instead of allocating each a chapter. Good thinking there. Lorelai's intention of helping a girl who reminds her of herself when she was young is applauded and I also liked how she debates her intention when questioned. I liked the conflict of her own mind, it felt real to read. And as for Rory, I'd like to know her more before I make up my mind about her. As for now, I'm just glad that she's in good hands of Lorelai.

I like Tristan, I don't know why Jess is being outrightly mean towards him. I hope Tristan doesn't become this villain kind a guy. I hope they become friends.

Overall, good chapter. Keep up the good work!

Keep writing!

Cheers! :D




DottieSnark says...


I'm glad you how I did the POV switching. I actually went back and forth on that *a lot*. I kept rewriting these early chapters again and again trying to figure out the best chapter format. I decided I liked an episodic chapter best, where you get to see a little bit of whatever character does, though some chapters do break the mold of that.

I'm also really glad you like Tristan because he's the character I'm most scared about writing. He's one of the less developed popular characters (he was only on the show for 11 episodes) so I've had to develop him further than most other characters. I actually feel like he comes off as sterotypical in the early chapters before he becomes a larger character and you really start to get to know him.

Anyway, thank you so much for this review and all the help with the typos and your thoughts on the characters.



Dreamy says...


I think I got the episodic vibe when read the next chapter. And then I remembered that this is a fan fiction and I was like, DUH! haha. I saw a youtube video of this guy called Alex Meyers where he reviewed Gilmore Girls. I watched it just because I was reading this. That's when I came to know that you have actually switched up the main characters. That is so smart.

And OH, TRISTAN <3 Yes, more him. Because I think he's just a guy who needs a friend, you know. ^^




Between living and dreaming there is a third thing. Guess it.
— Antonio Machado