Young Writers Society

Hello my fellow writer! It's me IcyFireyPheonix as you like to call me! XD So I am popping in here today to leave a review for you!

So let's get to it.

As I'm getting further into the story I can see the path it's going to take, and I'm really excited to see how everything plays out, I've never read a story that has a little toddler as the main character so this is rather interesting for me.
And I'm really starting to like Ala's character, she is really sweet, and I can see she loves her friends. Well to be honest I liked her from the start!
I do want to no more about Tiana and she little group, I have a feeling they will become a really big part of the book later, but right now hey are just bullies so I wonder what hey will do to Ala next.

Now I do wish there was a little more description in this, I mean I don't even no what her dad looks like, and the setting to. A little description here and there will help people become part of your story, unless you have made it the way you did, so the reader can imagine what the characters look like. It's really all up to you.

Other than that I really liked this chapter, it was funny and made me laugh, I must say it's funny reading a book about a child that only thinks having some one else play with her friend is the biggest worry in the world! XD
Anyway I'm glad I could pop in and review this, it was fun, and I am even more hook now that I was before, so amazing job, Keep up the amazing writing and I will be off to the next chapter. Have a great day or night.

Your friend and faithful reader
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion!

Nice job with the ending. I was just thinking to myself (with a small chuckle) that the little girl was overreacting and being superstitious, when you threw the last line 'but he didn't drive fast enough'. Shoot! Now, I'm scared and worried about Henry and Ala. What happened to make things go wrong? Tiana probably stole Henry away from Ala. I know that boys and men are pretty smart, but do you ever feel that your guy friends aren't smart when it comes to the conniving ways of other girls? Sometimes I feel that they are powerless and need protecting. What do you think?
-Shieldmaiden

Hello Horisun!

I am back to give you a review. Hope you're doing well today or tonight! Let's get started now, shall we?

Alright, so I like the turn this story is taking. It's very original. I can remember this happening to me when I was - not in preschool - in grade one. Now when I think back to it, I laugh. xD

Also, what is it about February 14th? I'm kinda ooh-ing at that. Trying to figure out what it means.

"Oh No!" Ala cried, she leaned forward as fast as she could and shouted, "Drive, Daddy, drive!"

Happy Review Day!

Damn why do these jealoused,stupid bullies need to destroy perfectly happy stuff??And why does Ala keeps getting cuter and cuter.I enjoyed reading this chapter just as much as the others.I am pretty sure she will have the last battle on February Fourteenth.I believe in herand maybe u too JK
And then you said He didn't drive fast enough,WHYYY!I am guessing and i will keep guessing until you post the next chap so save from this tiresome guessing game and post it soon.

Keep Up The Excellent Work

Peace Out