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E - Everyone

Unlucky 13 - Chapter 9

by Liberty


What Grace told me that day under the willow tree at the stables, is going to stay in my mind for quite a long time.

She said that Raven was her twin. There was a triplet, but he had died. They just tell people now that they are twins. No triplet. Their own mother killed the poor boy. His name was Gavin. But the question is… How is she not in jail? The mother, I mean.

The mother flat out hates her husband and Carter. When she and her husband had that fight that had led to their divorce, Carter took his father’s side. So, she made them leave her house and now Carter and Mr Hill are here in Quebec.

Also, her name is Brittney Dove.

I sighed when Grace had finished her entire story.

“Wait, so what about Raven? Why is she hunting Carter and me down? I was never in this divorce.” I plucked a flower from the ground and took off its petals one by one whileGrace started talking.

“You and Carter are two separate stories,” she started, “It makes Raven’s life easier now that you two are in the same town. Basically, same street, but whatever. She hates you. Not that you’ve done anything, but just that she’s jealous.”

I snorted, “Jealous? And that too, of me?” I pointed at myself, throwing the flower to the ground. Grace nodded.

“And mother has sent us both to get Carter.” she sighed, “She wants to get revenge.”

I stared at her, “Well, I better get going.” I said, “Here comes Izzy.”

Izzy was skipping to us and halted mid-skip and stared at Grace sitting beside me. She ran back and we both laughed.

“Sometimes it’s kinda useful to be Raven’s twin.” Grace smiled, then got up, “I best get going. I need to untack Dorothy too. Can I get your phone number?”

I looked at her suspiciously, “For what?”

“Telling you about everything else.” she said, “I promise I’m not the villain in this scene. I’m being forced to be one. But I’m not.”

I nodded, and we exchanged phone numbers.

Grace left, leaving me with the horses in the paddock. I sighed and shook my head. I am so tired.

I went back into the stables to look for Izzy. She had calmed down and was chatting with Oak – the horse she had ridden.

“Izzy!” I exclaimed, “Why’d you run away?”

She paused mid-sentence and looked at me, “You were talking to Grace. I hate her.”

Wait, how does she know about Grace?

“Because she comes over once in a while with Carter to help out Mum. Duh.” she said. Oops, might have said that out loud. I laughed nervously and nodded, tucking my hands in my pockets.

“Where are the rest?” I asked. She pointed behind her and I saw the rest of them untacking their horses. “Oh.”

She hummed and continued stroking her horse. She perked up, “Just remembered! Mum said that we leave as soon as we’re done grooming and untacking.”

I nodded and left to go see the rest of them, “What did you guys do?” I asked Grams.

“We jumped a few logs and streams.” she said quickly. She’s probably still uncomfortable about when she broke the news to me.

“Um, sorry.” I said. I felt tears brimming my eyes. Nope nope nope. Julia, stop! You’re a brave girl. You don’t cry. Not in front of Grams. Shh… It’s all good. Hush up, girl.

“It’s fine.” she said, waving her hand around. “About the necklace too. It’s all good, honey.”

I looked around. Why am I suddenly getting so darn nervous? “Aunt Martha!” I said, looking down the lane, “I’ll go start the car, if you want.”

“I’m coming too.” Izzy said, popping up from behind her mother.

Aunt Martha passed us the keys and the two of us left to the van.

“You look sad.” I said, “You’re not yourself.” I looked at Izzy. We were sitting in the car. I had turned on the engine and had sat down beside Izzy in the back seats.

“One of th-the h –” she broke into tears. Why is life so sad? I shouted in my head.

“What is it?” I asked, rubbing her back.

“Rockette is being put down!” she cried, wiping her tears, “I promised her that I’d stay strong just for her, but look at me now!”

I looked down at her hands. She was fiddling with something. It was a necklace of a sort. More like bracelet, but it looked long enough for it to pass as a necklace. It was one half of a heart. I pointed to it.

“Rockette has the other half.” Izzy said quietly, “We’re best buds. It’s on her halter.”

“Are you allowed to take her halter?” I asked calmly. She shrugged. I had a feeling that she wasn’t going to talk much today. Maybe she was going to talk tomorrow. I’m no future-teller. And I wasn’t much help either.

Knock knock.

I looked out the door. Tim was pointing to the lock. Izzy was looking out the other window, at the stables. I unlocked the door and let him in. He sat in the drivers seat and a little while later, everyone else had come in and we were driving back home.

It was quiet. Everyone had found out about Rockette.

We went home and had lunch. The rest of the day was normal until Uncle Sim came back home and we had dinner. Not that different from other days. Ave and Tim played ping pong. The adults – not including Tim were talking in the living on the top floor. Izzy had fallen asleep early and I was flicking through the channels on the TV in the first floor living room.

“Julia?” Uncle Sim said, scratching his head, “We need you upstairs for a bit.”

“’Kay. I’ll be there.” I got up and followed him up the stairs and to the top floor. I definitely lost weight from these stairs.

“Yes?” I entered the room. Everyone looked worried, Izzy was there too, and tears were streaming down her face, her head on Aunt Martha’s lap. She kept on mumbling Rockette and when she saw me, she went quiet. I looked at Grams questioningly. She didn’t meet my gaze. I looked at everyone else. Ave and Tim were there too. They were looking down at the ground.

The tension was thick in the room that it could have been sliced. You don’t want to do suicide, do you, Tension? I chuckled at my thought and everyone looked at me like I had three heads.

I sat down on the white leather couch and put an embroidered pillow on my lap and played with the stitches. I waited for someone to break the silence. I just sat and the only thing I could here was a bird trying to fly in through the window. It kept on bonking its head, though.

What is wrong with these birds?

“Um…” Realizing my voice wasn’t clear, I coughed. “Anyone mind filling me in?”

“Rockette was just put down.” Izzy whispered, sobbing.

“There’s another thing.” Grams said. “And we don’t think you’re going to like it much.”

“We have to tell you no matter what, though.” Uncle Sim started.

“She was going to find out sooner or later.” Tim said.

“But can’t she just stay there?” Ave asked, looking pleadingly at Aunt Martha.

“Who?” I asked looking around at everyone. Izzy had fallen asleep from crying so much. Are they talking about me? Where am I going to stay?

Aunt Martha shrugged. “It’s your father and grandmother’s decision.” she said to Ave.

“What decision?” I asked and the bird bonked its head on the window again. I swear that window is going to break. Panic filled the tensioned air.

“Um… Julia?” Uncle Sim started. “Mother, you tell her.”

Pause. No one spoke. Another bonk from the bird. Idiot bird.

“So…” I urged, sitting at the edge of the couch. I was basically about to fall off.

“Julia…” Grams started. “You might not like this. And you know we love you and we wouldn’t want anything to interfere with your happiness. She doesn’t have enough money, and she’s doing this just for you. She’s on loan. This is the reason we came here. I know it was sudden. But hopefully it will be worth it at the end.” she paused then gulped.

Ave looked at me. Our eyes met. He nodded and stood up, “May I say it?” he asked. Everyone nodded except for Izzy.

Another bonk from the bird.

“Your mother comes tomorrow morning.” he said, looking down at me.

Bonk.

I wish I could bonk my head on that. I’d do it until my head and the window broke. I didn’t have any emotion. My mother is coming. Tomorrow. In the morning. I’ll wake up and I’ll see her. I could hear everyone’s hearts thumping in their chests.

And then, realization hit me square in the face. It was like a slap. Or a punch. And all my teeth had fallen out. It hurt so bad.

“For how long?” I managed to croak these three words out.

“Forever.” Grams whispered, putting her head in her wrinkled hands.

Bonk.


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218 Reviews


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Sun Jul 14, 2019 1:47 am
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Horisun wrote a review...



Plot twist!!
I knew she was trying to tell Julia something, I just knew it!
This was a really great chapter, and I was on the edge of my seat the entire way through! The start, with the story about Carter, Raven, and Grace, was pretty unexpected, and theirs a lot to unpack with just the first few paragraphs... Which is awesome!
What really confuses me is that the Mother, according to Grace, killed the third triplet, sent her other two children to stalk Carter, and yet she's not in jail, and she still is the legal parent to those kids? What!? It adds a darker tone to the rest of the story, which I never would've expected in the first chapter, and I love that!
As for the elephant in the room, SOUND THE ALARM! THE PLOT TWISTS ARE COMING! Honestly, I feel that I should've saw this coming, yet I didn't, and I'm like, that's so clever! Ya know?
I suspected that it was going to be a discussion about her mental health, but nope! This is intense! I cannot wait to see what comes of this!




Liberty says...


Thanks for the review!



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Fri Jul 12, 2019 6:23 am
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EternalRain wrote a review...



AHH!!

So much has happened!

Poor Izzy. I feel so bad for her in this chapter with her losing Rockette. And we were really able to see her vulnerable side and not the tough cookie she was earlier. And that's important too - she's ten, so she's still young!

You don’t want to do suicide, do you, Tension?


This felt a bit out of place lol especially after the really intense scene when Julia attempts/thinks about suicide.

Their own mother killed the poor boy


What??? Holy moly. This was said in such a nonchalant way, haha xD I am wondering though how the mom isn't in jail? What are the other details? What why how... I must know. I would like to see that beefed up a little just because WOW that is big news. Or maybe we'll learn more? Either way Raven and Grace are living... with... a... murderer? She seems crazyyyy!

I'm still not sure, exactly, why Raven is jealous of Julia. We get Grace's confirmation that Raven is jealous... but why? It's hard to see how Raven has this burning jealousy of Julia when she barely knows who she is.

Aunt Martha shrugged. “It’s your father and grandmother’s decision.” she said.


Is she talking about Julia's father? Isn't her father... dead? o-o

Anyway, I LOVE that we have her mom coming. It seems like she probably really cares about Julia and I'm predicting Julia's going to be pretty salty but hopefully will come to terms and forgive her mother. Everyone seemed reallly tense when telling her the news, though, so it kind of gives me some ~bad vibes~ but maybe they're just hoping Julia doesn't get too mad.

Okie dokie, that's it! Peace!

~ EternalRain




Liberty says...


When Martha said the it-your-father-and-grandmothers-decision thing, she was talking to Ave. I need to make that clear.
Thanks for the review! There are still some deets I haven't given away yet, so that's why the "why is Raven's mom no tin jail" and "why is Raven jealous of Julia" thing is kinda confusing. I'll lear it up soon, though. I promise!



EternalRain says...


Ahh I see!
And woohoo!:) I need to go and read Chapter 10 haha



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Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:44 pm
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Katnes wrote a review...



Katnes here with a review. This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel seem bad. But be warned you may feel offended anyway

Nitpicks
Here we go!

We'll start off with this line-

So, she made them leave her house and now Carter and Mr Riding are here in Quebec.

You need a comma after Mr.

Next there's this one
“Because she comes over once in a while with Carter to help out Mum. Duh.” she said.

You need a comma after the word duh.

Then let's tacke this sentence
“We jumped a few logs and streams.” she said quickly.

It might be a good idea to remove the comma after the word stream.

That's pretty much all the errors that I could find grammatically, other then that I'd suggest adding more description (I have no idea what the Portmans house looks like) and I'd work on character development-there is nothing unique about the way your characters react to situations. They seem to react in fact like normal people. Try giving them things that make them stand out.
Thanks for posting this, and keep on writing!
Katnes out




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Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:43 pm
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Katnes says...



Katnes here with a review. This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel seem bad. But be warned you may feel offended anyway

Comments
You did do a nice job of outlining Julia's emotions, and setting up the tensions but you did a nice job of it over all.
Nitpicks

Here we go!

We'll start off with this line-

So, she made them leave her house and now Carter and Mr Riding are here in Quebec.

You need a comma after Mr.

Next there's this one-

“Because she comes over once in a while with Carter to help out Mum. Duh.” she said.

You need a comma after the word duh.

Then let's tackle this sentence-
“We jumped a few logs and streams.” she said quickly.

It might be a good idea to remove the comma after the word stream.

That's pretty much all the errors that I could find, grammatically.

Other errors
Again I feel like there just isn't enough description of the Portmans house or the family in general. And, this is more of my opinion, you might want to spend more time developing them. They all seem like ''average'' people to me. They don't seem to have anything to set them apart. Something about their reactions that makes them an individual.

Thanks for posting this, and keep on writing!
Katnes out




Liberty says...


Thanks for the review! Mr Riding is a person, by the way. Lol.



Katnes says...


I know that Mr. Riding is a person, but your welcome for the review.



Liberty says...


You said to put a comma after "Mr". Explain, please? :)



Katnes says...


Put a comma after Mr Riding like this-Mr. Riding.



Liberty says...


Oh. That's a period. :) A comma is this - (,).



Katnes says...


Shrugs. Small mistake. We've all made it sometime.



Liberty says...


Of course. (:



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Thu Jul 11, 2019 11:25 am
JabberHut wrote a review...



WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

Their mother KILLED the triplet!??!??!

She flat out hates Carter and her husband.


This makes it sound like Carter's married. XD

HOW IS MOTHER NOT IN PRISON THOUGH ?? And why is Raven on her mother's side!?? MAMA SOUNDS LIKE A PSYCHO.

I sighed and shook my head. I am so tired.


I don't blame you. O.O

I went back into the stables to look for Izzy. She had calmed down and was chatting with Oak – the horse she had ridden.


This was actually well done. I definitely didn't remember who Oak was, so the reminder was smooth and natural and helpful.

“Where are the rest?” I asked. She pointed behind her and I saw the rest of them untacking their horses. “Oh.”

She hummed and continued stroking her horse. She perked up, “Just remembered! Mum said that we leave as soon as we’re done grooming and untacking.”


The way Izzy instantly remembered they were leaving after everyone's done untacking by watching everyone untack was actually hilarious. I don't know if this was intentional but it was really funny. xD

I am MIGHTILY IMPRESSED that grandma is okay with jumping logs and streams. I figured it would hurt her bones too much or something but maybe I'm just used to old grandmas now who can barely walk.

I am ALSO IMPRESSED that Julia is so willing to start the car for family she barely knows AND that Aunt Martha is willing to let her do that. I understood when Avery was given the cars, but Julia!? Julia hardly knows her car at all. Avery is probably learning how to drive with that car. Izzy miiiight do it since she is familiar enough with the car. But I guess I would personally not let Julia do it if it were my car. Accidents happen and each car is feels different. //shrug

WHY IS ROCKETTE BEING PUT DOWN!? IS SHE OLD?? D:

POOR IZZY OMG.

SHE HAS A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET WITH HER HORSE.

Actually, I think it would work really well if it was mentioned earlier as everyone was being assigned horses. Just something simple, like Izzy requested Rockette and got Oak instead or she just looked disappointed upon receiving Oak.

NOW IZZY IS SAD. EVERYONE IS SAD. WHY IS QUEBEC SO MISERABLY SAD ?!?

Bahahaha dude, stairs are totally a workout plan. It's a thing.

WHY IS EVERYONE ACTING LIKE SHE'S GOING TO DIE ??

omg julia that is such morbid humor after having almost killed yourself earlier even I'm like :| THERE'S A TIME AND A PLACE.

Bahahahaha dumb bird is dumb

omg I love the tie back to the bird earlier she saw on the drive.

okay Izzy, I know you're upset about Rockette, BUT YOU ALREADY TOLD JULIA. JUST SHHHHHH. SHHHHHHHHHH. LET THE ADULTS TALK.

“Who’s she? And where is she going to stay?” I asked looking around at everyone.


OKAY. At this point, I'm like intrigued yet I have suspicions that it's about her mother. Anyway, this response here by Julia feels like she suspects far more than what I do. I think she'd be confused about who "she" is, which you have here, but also about where "she" ISN'T going to stay. The dialogue that's written here makes it sound like Julia knows what's going on and is curious about where "she" is staying. But Julia DOESN'T know, so she'd be confused about where she ISN'T going to stay since that was Avery's question to begin with. (THAT WASN'T CONFUSING AT ALL, WAS IT?)

I wish I could bonk my head on that.


LOL okay I just love this so much. All the bonking leads up to this and it's just freaking perfect.

HAHAHAHA OKAY THIS BONKING IS HILARIOUS AND BEAUTIFULLY DONE.

Okay now it's not because i have to talk about this HER FREAKING MOTHER IS COMING AND NO ONE WANTED TO SAY ANYTHING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

So I do find it weird that everyone is such a pansy about telling Julia the simple fact that the woman is showing up tomorrow. I actually expected like grams has cancer or something. It just felt overly dramatic with everyone sitting together in the living room, twiddling their thumbs like it was a funeral.

I was hoping Simon would be man enough to say something and I'm kind of put off that Avery was more of a man than he was. Like, even Tim would have been okay because he seems think this is also overly dramatic and would just be annoyed enough to flat out tell Julia what's going on.

Also I DON'T THINK FOREVER SHOULD BE THAT SCARY. Grams and Julia aren't staying in Quebec forever. They'll be leaving for home soon, right? Because first day of school was a few days ago?! I'd imagine they're going back to Chicago soon. I'm sure they already have tickets for the flight back at some point.

Also AUNT MARTHA. She said it was Julia's father's and grandmother's decision? Or is she talking to someone else and referring to Uncle Simon? 'Cause I thought Julia's father was dead and if he's suddenly ALIVE OMG POOR JULIA JUST WANTED TO ENJOY EIGHTH GRADE //SOB




Liberty says...


Okay. Hold on. A lot of comments I need to ask you about. And clarify for you, lol.
%u201CWho%u2019s she? And where is she going to stay?%u201D I asked looking around at everyone.

The comments you made here confused me a lot. I don't get a single thing, lol. Sorry.
Also, for the mother thing, don't even talk yet, bro. There's a loooot more coming. Hold your horses. :p
Also AUNT MARTHA. She said it was Julia's father's and grandmother's decision?

She actually was talking to Ave. Lol.
Anyways, thanks for the review! I really appreciate it. :D
:elephant:



Liberty says...


Darn the stupid signs in the first quote.



JabberHut says...


I WAS WORRIED ABOUT THAT.

I guess basically, it made more sense for her to say, "Who's she? And where can't she stay?!" or simply "where is there?!" because she's addressing what Avery is asking about, and those are the two points he made ("Can't she just stay there?").

But I can also see how maybe she was trying to be funny or cute by reversing it and saying, "Where is she going to stay?!" so it's probably far too nitpicky and just caused a brief moment of confusion for me. //derp



Liberty says...


Nah, it's cool. I think I get what you mean now. :D



Liberty says...


Nah, it's cool. I think I get what you mean now. :D




"The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them."
— Louis C.K.