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E - Everyone

SAH 289

by BlueAfrica

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60 Reviews

Points: 1159
Reviews: 60

Sat May 18, 2019 1:25 pm
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LittleLee says...

This is beautiful. Reading it reminds me of my grandparents and all the happy times I had with them...
Again. Just beautiful.

BlueAfrica says...

Thanks! I'm glad you connected to it.

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1059 Reviews

Points: 112040
Reviews: 1059

Sat May 18, 2019 1:44 am
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Mea wrote a review...

Oh, this is beautiful. <3

I think my favorite thing about is that you, the speaker, are so clearly separate from the reader - a lot of the time as a reader I feel like I'm supposed to be the speaker in the poem, but I have a hard time feeling it because I don't share the person's thoughts on the subject or understand the context of the situation in the poem. But here, you have such beautifully detailed images that I can see the speaker as a fully realized person separate from me, and the funny thing is that makes it perfectly easy to slip inside and feel your experience.

I haven't lost my grandparents, but I know what it means to have a memory that "knocks me back and winds me," and... I think the way you cling to every detail is what makes it universal and viscerally real.

I decided I might as well make this a review when I realized I was writing a really long comment, but I've gone through the poem twice now and I can't think of any critique to give. I feel like anything I say would just be quibbling about style, and in my opinion the style works beautifully the way it is. It feels like you're telling a story, and so the natural phrasing and the different lengths and enjambments of the lines create that feeling.

So in the end, I'll just thank you for the lovely read. :)

BlueAfrica says...

Thank you so much (again). Your notes on speaker vs reader are so interesting!

Mea says...

Yeah, that thought is what made me go "oh, I have to comment on this," because the way you handle it is really unique and made me realize something about how I engage with poems! Hopefully my viewpoint can be useful to you. :)

BlueAfrica says...

It really hit me because I like very rarely consider the speaker OR the reader when writing poems even though I *cough* probably should. Like the speaker in my poems at least starts out in the first draft as me probably 90% of the time.

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128 Reviews

Points: 6794
Reviews: 128

Wed May 15, 2019 5:44 am
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Liberty500 wrote a review...

Hi Blue!

Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you are on! I'm here to give you a review just like you requested! Let's get right into it now, shall we?

Alright, so, you've got a wonderful poem here and I love it! The description just makes everything, like @GigiNicole17 said, very nice, warm and cozy. I like the way I can picture it all in my head. It's just... Top-notch. All your spelling was great, too. And the structure, like, uh... how do I describe this? Like the way you wrote out your first paragraph; I like the way it's so different from all the other ones. It gives the poem a nice feeling, ya know?

That last bit though; those last five lines. So sad. It touches me in a way. And, I really like that. <3 Well, anyways, that's it for my chatterbox mouth.

And as always...

Keep on writing!


BlueAfrica says...

Thanks for the reviews!

Liberty500 says...

No problem! :D

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30 Reviews

Points: 1334
Reviews: 30

Thu May 09, 2019 3:40 pm
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GigiNicole17 wrote a review...

Hey, Blue!

Here for a short review..more like a "I like this poem so much" type of The imagery you used was amazing I could really see the characters and the setting made my heart feel so warm and cozy...I don't get that feeling very often. It's very grown-up(hmm I wonder why) Like an old poet wrote it(in a good way. They are such inspirations). I guess I just wanted to say great job, and give you your first review on this.

~Gigi, The Jesus Freak

BlueAfrica says...

Thanks! Out of curiosity, could you tell me which part or image was your favorite?

GigiNicole17 says...

"His office is a mess and when I see it, it knocks me back and winds me, the way memories do." Love that part!

BlueAfrica says...

Thanks so much!

GigiNicole17 says...

no problem! <3

Too often we crave the extraordinary in life, without even learning how to cherish the ordinary first. Friend, I promise you this: if you can learn to take joy in the simple mundane things in life, the extraordinary will take care of itself, it'll be on its way, hurrying towards you. But if you skip the first part, it'll ever evade you.
— Arcticus