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SAH 289

by BlueAfrica



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Sat May 18, 2019 1:25 pm
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LittleLee says...



This is beautiful. Reading it reminds me of my grandparents and all the happy times I had with them...
Again. Just beautiful.




BlueAfrica says...


Thanks! I'm glad you connected to it.



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Sat May 18, 2019 1:44 am
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Mea wrote a review...



Oh, this is beautiful. <3

I think my favorite thing about is that you, the speaker, are so clearly separate from the reader - a lot of the time as a reader I feel like I'm supposed to be the speaker in the poem, but I have a hard time feeling it because I don't share the person's thoughts on the subject or understand the context of the situation in the poem. But here, you have such beautifully detailed images that I can see the speaker as a fully realized person separate from me, and the funny thing is that makes it perfectly easy to slip inside and feel your experience.

I haven't lost my grandparents, but I know what it means to have a memory that "knocks me back and winds me," and... I think the way you cling to every detail is what makes it universal and viscerally real.

I decided I might as well make this a review when I realized I was writing a really long comment, but I've gone through the poem twice now and I can't think of any critique to give. I feel like anything I say would just be quibbling about style, and in my opinion the style works beautifully the way it is. It feels like you're telling a story, and so the natural phrasing and the different lengths and enjambments of the lines create that feeling.

So in the end, I'll just thank you for the lovely read. :)




BlueAfrica says...


Thank you so much (again). Your notes on speaker vs reader are so interesting!



Mea says...


Yeah, that thought is what made me go "oh, I have to comment on this," because the way you handle it is really unique and made me realize something about how I engage with poems! Hopefully my viewpoint can be useful to you. :)



BlueAfrica says...


It really hit me because I like very rarely consider the speaker OR the reader when writing poems even though I *cough* probably should. Like the speaker in my poems at least starts out in the first draft as me probably 90% of the time.



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Wed May 15, 2019 5:44 am
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Liberty wrote a review...



Hi Blue!

Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you are on! I'm here to give you a review just like you requested! Let's get right into it now, shall we?

Alright, so, you've got a wonderful poem here and I love it! The description just makes everything, like @GigiNicole17 said, very nice, warm and cozy. I like the way I can picture it all in my head. It's just... Top-notch. All your spelling was great, too. And the structure, like, uh... how do I describe this? Like the way you wrote out your first paragraph; I like the way it's so different from all the other ones. It gives the poem a nice feeling, ya know?

That last bit though; those last five lines. So sad. It touches me in a way. And, I really like that. <3 Well, anyways, that's it for my chatterbox mouth.

And as always...

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500




BlueAfrica says...


Thanks for the reviews!



Liberty says...


No problem! :D



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Thu May 09, 2019 3:40 pm
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GigiNicole17 wrote a review...



Hey, Blue!

Here for a short review..more like a "I like this poem so much" type of review..lol The imagery you used was amazing I could really see the characters and the setting made my heart feel so warm and cozy...I don't get that feeling very often. It's very grown-up(hmm I wonder why) Like an old poet wrote it(in a good way. They are such inspirations). I guess I just wanted to say great job, and give you your first review on this.

~Gigi, The Jesus Freak




BlueAfrica says...


Thanks! Out of curiosity, could you tell me which part or image was your favorite?



GigiNicole17 says...


"His office is a mess and when I see it, it knocks me back and winds me, the way memories do." Love that part!



BlueAfrica says...


Thanks so much!



GigiNicole17 says...


no problem! <3




Who knew paper and ink could be so vicious.
— Kathryn Stockett, The Help