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E - Everyone

I'm fine

by RileyNikole22

On and off for so many years,

it’s sad to say you brought me tears.

I wished we could last,

Now thats in the past.

I was kidding I'm fine,

Don't wish you were mine.

Moved on with someone new,

Who is definitely a better boo.

Our chances were slim,

But now I got him.

I threw you in the bin,

And took a big win.

I exaggerated all of this for a grade,

Kinda wanna’ go get some lemonade.

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Points: 0
Reviews: 0

Fri Mar 15, 2019 5:35 am
CarysT says...

That is very good. I just think you don't need to add the part about the lemonade.

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38 Reviews

Points: 157
Reviews: 38

Thu Mar 14, 2019 11:13 pm
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Anma wrote a review...

Hello Riley,
is it okay if i call you that? Anyway.........

This is a great poem, i love how your emotion changed in the middle were you said
"I was kidding I'm fine" "Don't want you back".

I can tell how the feelings are by the words and that's good. I don't see any grammar problems, that's good.

Its short but it gets the message out there,
and its simple but special.

I hope to read more from you

Sincerely Anma

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303 Reviews

Points: 16630
Reviews: 303

Thu Mar 14, 2019 10:14 am
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FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...

Hello, FlamingPhoenix here to talk about your poem on this lovely day, I'll try to make it short.

Okay so to me this was a really well written poem. I saw nothing wrong with it at all, I thought your riming was very clever and well done. It made the poem a lot more enjoyable So well done. Now I understand this poem is about a breakup, so if this is how you feel then I am very sorry if this happened to you. But the emotion you put into this poem was what really made it. As I read this I could feel what you were feeling. And I think who ever had gone through a breakup should read this poem, because you are showing us, that you shouldn't dwell in the past, but move on. And I think it is very true. So well done.

Well that it for me today. I loved reading and reviewing your poem. It was really fun. I hope you never stop writing and I hope to see more of your works out on YWS soon. Have a great day/night.

Your friend
FlamingPhoenix. :D
Reviewing this a fiery passion.

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
— Henry David Thoreau, "Walden"