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12+ Violence

Last Autumn (part)

by xJade


TAMARA: Fine.



*Xara turns on the light, it flickers a second but stays on*



TAMARA: I'll help you guys pack up.



*They start packing, a tall, dark figure appears in the corner, no one notices*



SADIE: How are we leaving?



TAMARA: I don't know.



XARA: How about through the garage?



MADDIE: Are you insane?



XARA: Oh, right.



MADDIE: We could leave through the back.



XARA: Maybe. Or we could go through the front. We have to get my Uncle and Aunt out too.



TAMARA: I don't think they're here anymore.



*Tamara and Xara start crying*



SADIE: It's OK Tammy. Don't worry Xara. they'll be fine.



*Scene shows the parents dead in their room*



*Scene goes back to the girls*



*Maddie walks over to Marie's phone and takes it*



MADDIE: I'm going to give it to her parents.



ANNABELLA: That's so kind.



*The light flickers and turns off*



XARA: I'll turn it back on.



SADIE: I got it.



*Sadie tries to turn it on again. It won't*



*Footsteps, they are slow and creepy*



TAMARA: Uh, who's walking so slowly.



MADDIE: Not me.



XARA: Nope. Not me.



ANNABELLA: I'm not moving.



SADIE: Nope. Tamara?



TAMARA: Nope. I'm still.



*They're quiet a second then they open the door and run down*



TAMARA: Hide!



*Scene shows Maddie running into the spare room and hiding in the corner*



*The masked chainsaw man appears in the window, looking at her, she doesn't notice*



*He taps the window and Maddie looks behind her and screams*



*Scene changes to Sadie, who is hiding in the kitchen under the table, she hears the scream and winces*



SADIE: Maddie.



*Silence*



*Scene changes to Annabella who is hiding in the pantry, she is shaking*



ANNABELLA: Oh my lord. I'm dead.



*Scene changes to Xara, she is hiding behind a sofa, she is curled up in a ball*



*The hooded figure appears in front of her, Xara doesn't scream, she's too scared*



*He walks towards her and she's too scared to move*



XARA: Go away. Please, go away! Leave me alone! GO!



*Scene changes to Tamara, who is hiding under her bed in her room*



*She hears Xara and starts crying*



TAMARA: I'M COMING XARA!



*She gets out from under her bed and runs into the den*



TAMARA: XARA?



*Silence*



TAMARA: XARA? WHERE ARE YOU?



*Tamara stops yelling*



*Scene goes back to Maddie who has her hands over her mouth and is listening to Tamara yelling*



*Scene goes back to Tamara*



*Tamara starts walking slowly, she sees Xara standing in the doorway of the garage, half her face is hidden**



TAMARA: XARA! ARE YOU DUMB?



*Tamara runs to the doorway, Xara runs into the garage*



*Tamara runs in after her, Xara is hidden*



TAMARA: X-Xara?



*Xara sighs from in the corner of the garage*



XARA: Tam?



TAMARA: You're OK?



XARA: I'm fine.



TAMARA: WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!



*Xara gets up and slowly walks over to Tamara. Half of Xara's face is ripped off and she has blood all over her*



TAMARA: XARA? OH MY GAWD! ARE YOU OK? WE NEED TO GET YOU HELP!



*Xara stops right in front of Tamara*



XARA: I don't feel anything.



*Tamara backs up*



TAMARA: XARA? YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT! YOU HAVE TO SEE YOURSELF, HOW ARE YOU NOT IN PAIN?



*Xara says nothing, she just gets closer to Tamara. Tamara backs up again*



TAMARA: Xar?



*Xara walks up to her until she is a foot away and Tamara is pinned against a wall*



TAMARA: Xara? Please listen. You're still you. Please stop.



*Xara just looks at her, she bites her own arm and chews the skin that came off*

TAMARA: OH DANG! XARA! XARA! STOP!



*Xara falls to the ground and a doll is behind her*



DOLL: Ma-ma.



TAMARA: SOMEONE! HELP ME! PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE!



*The black figure walks up to Tamara and grabs her neck. He is holding a bloody knife and he sticks it in Tamara's chest*



*Muffled*TAMARA: AH!



*Scene goes to Sadie, she is crying under the table*



*Scene goes to Annabella, her head is in her hands*



*Scene goes to Tamara's dying body*



*Scene goes to Sadie. She gets out from under the table and runs into the laundry room*



SADIE: I am not going to. I am NOT going to.



*She grabs a broom and runs into the kitchen, waving it around*



SADIE: I am NOT afraid of you! COME OUT!



*She spins around and sees nothing*



SADIE: Ah-hah.



* She drops the broom and she grabs the lighter they used earlier on the cakes and lights it, she can see faintly*



*Nothing*



SADIE: GUYS, COME OUT! I KNOW SOME OF YOU ARE SAFE! IT'S OK! WE CAN ESCAPE!



*The figure appears behind her, she doesn’t notice*



SADIE: COME OUT GUYS!



*The figure blows out the candle from behind her*



FIGURE: I'm behind you.



SADIE: OH MY GOD!



*She spins around and backs up*



SADIE: GET AWAY!



*She throws the lighter at the Figure, it misses by a foot*



SADIE: GO AWAY NOW OR I'LL KILL YOU!



*Scene shows all the girls in fear. Then scene goes back to Sadie*



*The figure slowly gets closer, Sadie kicks at it with her feet, she scrambles to get up and runs up the stairs, she closes the door and barricades herself in*



SADIE: Uh-oh! Oh-no!



*She runs to the window and tries to open, then she grabs a can of soda and tries to smash it*



*Scene shows the Figure put his foot on the stairs*



*Scene goes back to Sadie, she hears him*



SADIE: Oh, crap.



*She ditches all attempts to try and open the window, she runs to the closet but sees Marie's arm poking out from under the costumes*



SADIE: What the?



*She pulls on the arm and Marie's head bops up, Sadie screams and her eyes fill with tears*



*The figure is almost at the door, Sadie hears him and runs to the toy kitchen and hides*



*Mutters* SADIE: Come at me, you blob.



*The door opens and the figure walks in, he goes to the closet and closes it on Marie*



*Ring Around the Roses starts playing*



*Figure walks over to her and bends down*



SADIE: ARGH!



*She gets up and hits it, it grabs her arm but she shakes free, she runs to the corner to grab the can of soda, she throws it at him but it misses again*



SADIE: AHHHHH! HELP ME!



*She grabs a cupcake and throws it but it misses too*



*She runs past him but he grabs her, she grabs the streamers but they just fall*



SADIE: GET OFF OF ME!



*She throws the streamers at him and runs to the stairs, he grabs her again and stabs her in the leg with an ax*



SADIE: AHHHHHHHH!



* He drags her to by the window. She screams some more as he chops at her body*



*Crying* SADIE: GO! PLEASE GET OFF! Please!



*He drops the ax on her body and walks to the door, she reaches out her wounded hand but he shakes his head no*



SADIE: You won't – won't get away with -with – with this.



*She slumps over, she's dead. He walks back in and starts chopping her again*



*Scene goes to Maddie who is sitting there. She is frozen*



*The closet door rattles. It stops for a second then starts again*



MADDIE: What the heck?



*Scene shows the kitchen, nothing is there*



*Silence for about 20 seconds*



*Scene goes back to Sadie, her whole body is mangled and bleeding, the figure is clawing her eyeballs*



*Scene shows Maddie in the spare room running out*



*She goes to the kitchen she hides in the pantry and sees Annabella*



ANNABELLA: You're still alive! Thank gosh. I'm so scared.



*Whisper*MADDIE: There you are! We need to get out of here.



*Whisper*ANNABELLA: Duh.



*Whisper*MADDIE: Any plans?



*Whisper*ANNABELLA: No.



*Whisper*MADDIE: We can film a video on Marie's phone. Just in case we don't make it someone will see it.



*Maddie gets Marie's phone out and turns it on and turns it around so it shows Annabella and her*



*Whisper*MADDIE: I'm Maddie Hatcher and I'm here with Annabella Embre. We are stuck in this house and everyone is dead, we're going to escape, if we don't make it we where killed. This place is haunted.



*She turns it off and puts it in her pocket*



MADDIE: I'm going out, you wait a minute then come out after me.



*Maddie runs out*



*There's a little girl sitting there holding a teddy bear*



MADDIE: Aah! ANNABELLA! BE CAREFUL!



*Maddie turns on a light and steps back*



*The little girl crawls away*



*The lights flicker and a glass breaks behind Maddie*



*She turns around and becomes face to face with the figure*



MADDIE: HAH! GO AWAY!



*She pushes it and starts running, she runs out the back door and into their yard. She runs to behind a tree and sits there quietly*



*You can start to hear footsteps. They are slow and creepy*



*Maddie holds her breath and covers her mouth*



FIGURE: Hello.



*Annabella runs up and pushes the figure away while she punches it*



ANNABELLA: GO AWAY! LEAVE US ALONE!



*It disappears*



MADDIE: Wow. That was so, so brave.



ANNABELLA: It was really you.



MADDIE: We NEED to go before it comes back.



ANNABELLA: It won't come back. Trust me.



MADDIE: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? It will come back! This place is haunted.



ANNABELLA: Do you want it to come back?



MADDIE: NO!



ANNABELLA: It won't come back.



MADDIE: Stay here then. I'M GOING!



*Maddie gets up to run but Annabella grabs her and pushes her back down*



ANNABELLA: Madeline Hatcher, SIT DOWN!



MADDIE: What?



ANNABELLA: It ISN'T coming back. You'll be fine.



MADDIE: What do you mean? IT will kill us.



ANNABELLA: Y-you mean you don't remember?









SCENE 15 -

*Scene opens back to where they were*



ANNABELLA: Y-you mean you don't remember?



MADDIE: Remember what!?



ANNABELLA: Killing Kate? Hannah? Sadie?



MADDIE: WHAT? I WOULD NEVER EVER HURT THEM! Shut up.



ANNABELLA: You mean you don't remember me?



*Scene changes. Maddie is still sitting next to the same tree, but the area around her is all dead forest*



ANNABELLA: Really?



MADDIE: WHERE AM I? WHAT'S GOING ON?!



ANNABELLA: I made you. When we were all watching that movie I made you kill Hanna.



*Scene shows Maddie killing Hanna instead of the figure*



ANNABELLA: They didn't even notice you were gone. Of course I did a lot, but you helped.



MADDIE: No.



*Scene shows Annabella dragging Marie away instead*



MADDIE: No. It's impossible.



ANNABELLA: Is the memory coming back?



MADDIE: What?



*Maddie gasps*



MADDIE: You're evil, sick, and twisted. Why did Tammy invite YOU?



*It goes back to Tamara's yard*



ANNABELLA: *Giggles* She didn't. You did.



MADDIE: NO, I DIDN'T! YOU KNOW SHE HAS VIDEO CAMERAS! YOU WILL BE CAUGHT!



ANNABELLA: I'm in your mind, and unless I allow the cameras to see me they won't.



MADDIE: Wait a minute.



*She pulls out Marie's phone and pulls up the video they took*



MADDIE: No, you where right next to me. You're not on this video, I PUT YOU IN THE VIDEO!



ANNABELLA: *Sighs* You're not very smart. Nobody else saw me. Nobody else heard me. And no one will unless I allow them. Did you not realize you where the only one to talk to me the whole time? No one else was aware that I was there.



*Scene shows Maddie and Samantha walking down the path. This time there's no Annabella*



MADDIE: Sure.



*Samantha gives her a weird look*



MADDIE: What?



SAMANTHA: N-nothing.



*Scene goes back to Maddie and Annabella*



*Scene shows Maddie and Sam sitting by the wall, Maddie says hi to Annabella but there is no noise*



*Scene goes back to them*



MADDIE: No. No, I didn't kill them. I couldn't.



*She starts crying*



ANNABELLA: Ha-ha. You didn't notice all the clues.



MADDIE: You're just in my mind. GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!



*She gets up and runs at Annabella but she pushes her back*



*Maddie stops*



ANNABELLA: You can't control me, it's the other way round.



*Maddie closes her eyes and covers her ears*



MADDIE: GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!



ANNABELLA: Listen to me, Maddie.



MADDIE: How? I was with the others the whole time. I couldn't of killed them.



ANNABELLA: What about those long periods of time when you didn't talk, when you just stood there with your eyes glazed, you're mind was somewhere else. I either killed them or you did. And you did it of your own free will.



MADDIE: What do you mean?



ANNABELLA: You where somewhere else. And your dark side was the side showing.



MADDIE: You're just in my mind.



ANNABELLA: Just because I'm in your mind doesn't mean I'm not real.



MADDIE: AUGH!



ANNABELLA: And now your imagination is going to kill you.



*Annabella turns into the figure and runs at Maddie*



*Screen goes black and Maddie screams*



Words flash on the screen: IF YOU DON'T LOOK YOU'LL NEVER SEE IT.



THE END


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Comments



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Sun Apr 14, 2019 10:02 pm
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Briely wrote a review...



This is really good! And scary lol.

I really liked it though, i could image it all the way through. There was a few pieces i didn't understand though. Make sure to put a little more detail. Also make sure to put who's part they are, it will make it much better to read. This was really good, and i hope to read more from you.

GoodBye!




xJade says...


Thank you! I appreciate it :)



Briely says...


Your Welcome! :)



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Sun Mar 31, 2019 3:01 am
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Anma wrote a review...



Hello Jade

Wow, that's what I am going to say.

Wow, this is fairly spooky.
Wow, great imagery.
And wow, Its really great,

I can't say I love it because honestly I hate horror things.
But you did great on it, it was very realistic, and emotional.
The way it played out was perfect i have to say.
There didn't seem to be any grammar or punctuation.

Its really good.

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely Anma




xJade says...


I just got the notif for this....

Thanks XD!



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Sun Mar 03, 2019 12:34 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hi Jade,
I don't normally review scripts, so I'm not going to be great at calling out things in relation to the format of writing, but I'll do my best on everything else.

Firstly, I think it's important for us to have the background to this scene. So either yes, post the whole thing (but in multiple posts as it's getting quite long already) or at the beginning of this piece just give us a sentence or two to describe what has happened prior to this. It's helpful for getting context when reading/reviewing.

I can imagine that the difficulty with screenplay is getting enough emotion in for the characters. You want the director/actors to be able to interpret it as they see fit but at the moment it feels a little flat. For instance:

TAMARA: I don't think they're here anymore.



*Tamara and Xara start crying*


Until they start crying, I don't know that Tamara feels anything, maybe it would be good to add some direction for her character.

I think this is true of most of the script. Because the characters don't seem to have much in the way of emotion, a lot of the impact of the story line is lost. Perhaps work on adding some description in, and also in the way the characters speak. Words can convey a lot of emotions.

The story line is certainly promising, but it feels a bit as though the ending is rushed. There is a good build up and then suddenly the reader is told everything within the space of a few lines. Really good horror stories often leave a lot to the imagination, too. Maybe this is something you could utilise here?

Hope this has been helpful!

Have a good day,
Icy




xJade says...


Thank you for the review! This opened my eyes on how to make it better. :)



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Sat Mar 02, 2019 4:19 pm
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FireSpyGirl wrote a review...



Hi there!
So this was very interesting, and very, very well written. I like it. Especially the ending, I did not see that coming! XD. The beginning was a little confusing, until you get a few lines in. The only thing I would change is maybe add a little more description. Aside from that, leave it as is! It's really good. Keep up the good work, and looking forward to more writing from you!




xJade says...


Thanks. This was just a part of the script. If I post the whole thing it will make sense. I'm glad you liked it. :)




"For a short space of time I remained at the window watching the pallid lightnings that played above Mont Blanc and listening to the rushing of the Arve, which pursued its noise way beneath. The same lulling sounds acted as a lullaby to my too keen sensations; when I placed my head upon my pillow, sleep crept over me; I felt it as it came and blessed the giver of oblivion."
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein