z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

True Friends

by potatoefry2001


A true friend will love you to the end of time

A true friend will make complete your other half.

A true friend will realize you shine,

A true friend will make cherish you and make you laugh. 

This is a really cheesy poem, but I wrote it on an inspiration. The inspiration was the friendship I have made with a girl on here.... @FireSpyGirl Thank you SO much for EVERYTHING!!!! 


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
105 Reviews


Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Donate
Tue Mar 19, 2019 5:07 pm
fatherfig wrote a review...



A true friend will tell you when you have made a bad poem, so true friend if I do let me know okay? You did great. I love your poem there is nothing cheesy about it, you should let friends know how you feel even your best friends need positive reinforcement and the kind of positive innocent unconditional care this poem shows. It is short yes, but meaning and length are two different things and I think this portrays beautiful plainly spoken meaning. I loved this refreshing poem very much. Thank you for blessing this site with such a cheerful beautiful poem.






It was my pleasure...



fatherfig says...


:)



User avatar
10 Reviews


Points: 156
Reviews: 10

Donate
Mon Jan 07, 2019 1:08 am
DoubleRiders wrote a review...



+
M

Hey there PoTatOe001!

Selina from DoubleRiders here to review some of your work! First off, let me say that this was a cute little poem and not what I expected when I first clicked on it. I am torn because I like the cuteness of it, the way that it is short and sweet, but I also feel like it should have more...
It’s completely up to you, but I think that it could be added to and still keep its beauty. I don’t like to repeat what other reviewers have already said, so I just have one suggestion. On the third line, you could say “ A true friend will help you to shine” or “A true friend will bring out your shine” just a thought. Something I would do but not necessarily a “correction”.

Anyways, that is all I have. Awesome poem! Keep sharing your work!

~ DoubleRiders~




User avatar
453 Reviews


Points: 825
Reviews: 453

Donate
Sat Jan 05, 2019 7:38 pm
Lib wrote a review...



Hi, Liberty500 here for a quick and short review!

First of all, that's so cute PoTatOe001! I love it! It's not cheesy at all! You expressed your emotions to a good friend of yours (aka FireSpyGirl) and that's the important part! :wink:

Onto the review now:

There's one thing that I found here in this sentence: "A true friend will realize you shine," Is it supposed to be "your" instead of "you"?

And in this sentence: "A true friend will make cherish you and make you laugh." Is "make cherish you" supposed to be "cherish you"? (I'm not so good with complex words like: cherish, so I'm not a hundred percent sure about it. You just might want to check it. :D)

Hope to see more from you soon!

Keep on writing! :P

~Liberty500




User avatar
461 Reviews


Points: 7451
Reviews: 461

Donate
Fri Jan 04, 2019 10:06 pm
Horisun wrote a review...



This poem was really good and relatable, however I wish there was more, it was very short. If it was a little longer, it would be great!
Second, this is a personal preference, but I wish it rhymed. That would be great, and it would tie it together.
Overall, this is a great poem, I loved it, it just needs to be a little longer, great job, though!
As always, keep writing! And have fun doing it!




User avatar
45 Reviews


Points: 0
Reviews: 45

Donate
Fri Jan 04, 2019 5:29 pm
View Likes
potatoefry2001 says...



@FireSpyGirl this is dedicated to you




FireSpyGirl says...


Thank you so much! I don't know what to say....




Well, the only way to start is by starting
— AvantCoffee